- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.
The Year of the Gun (1991)
Tuna and I reviewed this film long ago. We both liked it.
It was directed by John Frankenheimer, has some excellent script
elements, two gorgeous nekkid women, and beautiful location
were disappointed by the ordinary, featureless 4:3 DVD. I guess
that means we liked the film enough to want to know a lot more
about it. Here is
the Movie House review.
And here is a film clip (zipped
.avi) of Valeria Golino in a pretty suh-weet sex scene.
The Man-Eater (1999)
The film opens with a
woman performing a sexually-oriented stage act. The highlight of this
act involves spirited sexual congress with a large stuffed panda which
will, at the very least, need to be cleaned thoroughly before
it can be returned to its owner. I can't claim to have seen every film with
stuffed-panda fuckin', but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say
that this is probably THE scene to watch if you are into this
particular sexual practice. In fact, I'll go the extra mile and say
that I have never seen a better scene with a woman having sex with any
kind of stuffed bear, and that includes teddy bears, although to tell
the truth I have not seen many Australian porn films, so I may be
missing out on some excellent stuffed koala scenes. I have
disqualified those in advance because koalas are not really bears, nor
even closely related to bears.
(A very tame capture is
pictured at the Movie House. Note: this film is actually in
color, but the director apparently felt that audiences could not
handle panda-fuckin' in color. Who could blame him? That would
be considered hard-core in many countries.)
The film is not called The Panda
Fucker, however, but The Man Eater. You can therefore assume that it
eventually gets to the point, or at least closer to a point of some
kind, and starts to focus on various non-panda activities. A literal translation
of the title would actually be closer to "the she-wolf," but the film is
marketed to English-speaking channels as The Man Eater because that
title has a double meaning in the context of one the star's favorite sexual practices.
The star, Loredana Cannata,
sets aside her panda long enough to perform a highly beloved form of
man-eating on camera in the course of this film,
thus earning La Donna Lupo a spot in Wikipedia's
list of mainstream movies with unsimulated sex.
In addition to this particular activity, Ms. Cannata also pleasures
herself on camera by demonstrating her command of Houdini's famous
"disappearing finger act," the secret to which I am not allowed to
reveal as part of my long-standing agreement to abide by the
magician's code, in return for which the magicians agree not to turn
me into a newt or make my web site disappear. A small price to pay, if
you ask me. Suffice it to say that Ms. Cannata spends the entire film
engaging in various activities that are normally performed in public
only when there are parties at Charlie Sheen's house. Astoundingly, at least by the more puritanical
standards of America, the infinitely open-minded Italian public has
subsequently accepted the same Ms. Cannata as a mainstream TV star in
her native land.
In between the sex
scenes, this is a mainstream and somewhat arty erotic
thriller about a mysterious woman with an unquenchable
appetite for anonymous sex. A young man picks up a beautiful woman for a one-night
stand. He falls for her after a wild night of skinny dipping and
hanky-panky, but she is gone in the morning, and the name and phone
number she gave him turn out to be false. The young man is so smitten
with his dream girl that he tracks her down, only to find out that her
entire life consists of nights just like the one she spent with him -
except with other men, using other false identities.
For a short time, Rare Licensed DVDs, the American importer
for this title, is offering our customers a special opportunity
to get a free additional DVD when ordering the Region 2 DVD of
La Donna Lupo. You may choose either a Paola Senatore classic,
or Tinto Brass's Capriccio. Please check all the product specs
to ascertain whether you can play these films on your system. If
you have any doubts, write to Rare Licensed DVDs for
clarification. Get details of the promo by clicking on the
"Top Ten Questions To Ask
Yourself Before Having Sex With A Robot"
Officials Seek 'Enormous
- "Bank robbers
apparently don't have an advocacy group
protesting such insulting law enforcement
monickers as the 'Overweight Bandit,''Big
Nose Bandit' and 'Oldtimer Bandit.' The
latest is the so-called 'Enormous Ears
Foreign Policy 101 with
- "A blog dedicated
to cats that look like Hitler"
Oh, Officer Hinckley,
you've done it again ...
NYPD towing cars to
impress Jodie Foster
Music Videos From the
80's :: Over 1,400 Videos!
Follow-up to the
Unfinished Film article below. Pretty much
everything there is to know about
THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED
"OUTTA GAS - FILM
THREAT'S TOP 10 UNFINISHED FILMS OF ALL TIME"
FilmJerk.com - The Early
Report for June 20
The trailer for The Last
- "The Last Kiss" is
a contemporary comedy-drama about life,
love, infidelity, forgiveness, marriage,
friendship... and coming to grips with
turning 30. It is an adaptation of Gabriele
Muccino's acclaimed Italian film L'Ultimo
- It was directed by
Tony Goldwyn, and written by Paul Haggis,
who wrote the screenplays for Million Dollar
Baby and Crash
Colbert offers an
impassioned defense of risk-taking
Colbert explains GM's
plan to give discounted gas to purchasers of
Colbert looks at Bill
Gates's plan to step down from Microsoft
Colbert weighs in on the
Colbert makes it simple:
"Mentioning Jesus in your speech is Small
Government; doing what Jesus asked is Big
A staffer updates Stephen
Colbert on America's disappointments in the
Colbert analyzes the
number of monkeys required to type Hamlet.
Colbert acquires some new
Colbert's Tip/Wag: A wag
of the finger to LEGO for moving to Mexico.
The Daily Show:
"Calvin Trillin reads
poetry on the Bush Administration from his new
book, 'A Heckuva Job'"
Juliet Eilperin talks to
Jon Stewart about the first of many rules in
her book Fight Club Politics.
The Daily Show's Dan
Bakkedahl looks at the congressional softball
The Daily Show's Samantha
Bee looks at Congress's time-wasting Iraq
The Daily Show looks
at the North Korean missile problem:
"In Korean, the Taepodong
missile translates to 'kind of penis.'"
The Daily Show looks
at the House of Representatives and its usual
empty gestures and sandbagging:
"House Republicans will
soon debate a resolution declaring kittens
The Daily Show takes
advantage of a slow news day to analyze
The Daily Show looks at
the international whaling ban.
The Daily Show looks at
Kim Jong Il's strategy to create lethal
weapons with silly names
The Daily Show looks at
the video game rating system,
and concludes that The House of
Representatives is filled with insane
Amy Poehler gave NY Mag
her 8 Simple Rules For Being A Civilized New
- 2. Don’t ask white
girls if they “left their ass at home.”
Follow-up to that
story on Broadway Bares ...Brooke
Tansley has stripped for charity the past four
years. (With pics.)
This week's movies
Waist Deep - 20% positive
- Scary: One reviewer
called it "as bad as Glitter."
- Scarier: So far,
this has the higher percentage of positive
reviews between this week's two new releases
This week's movies
Click - 13% positive
- 13%? That has to be
an all-time high for Adam Sandler. Has he
ever hit double figures before? This movie
may do a trillion at the box office.
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
The Prince of Pennsylvania (1988)
This is a "rebellious youth" comedy set in a mining town in Pennsylvania.
Ruport (Keanu Reeves) dropped out of high school, because he just didn't fit
in. He is not very happy to be living at home, but then how could he be? He's
a high school drop-out, his mother (Bonnie Bedelia) is sleeping with her
husband's best friend, and his father makes no effort at all to relate to him.
The only person Ruport does relate to is a local hippy (Amy Madigan), the
owner of a seedy drive-in. He fancies himself in love with her. He concocts a
scheme to kidnap his dad and force the sale of some property to a mining
company, then take the money and run away with Madigan. As you might imagine,
things don't quite work out as planned.
Roger Ebert was highly incensed that they took honest, hard-working
characters and legitimate acting talent and put them into such a silly plot.
Critics were uniformly unkind. While I did get a chuckle or two, I have to
agree. The plot was rather far-fetched to begin with, and the development and
details made it worse, not better. This is a D.
IMDb readers say 5.2.
in the aftermath of a sex scene, showing her breasts and buns.
Caps of a 45-yr-old Melissa Leo in The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
have made their way to the Funhouse recently. So I thought it was time to cap
Ms. Leo in Streetwalkin', made when she was 24. She played and looked to be a
much younger woman, turning tricks when she and her brother are thrown onto the
streets. Not a great movie, but not silly or stupid, either. Key point is that
Melissa shows off two of the three B's in four scenes. The caps and two clips
cover that territory (each of the two zipped .avi clips includes a pair of
scenes), but understand that this movie is not available in DVD, so we are
talking the quality of material taken from videotape.
In the first clip
you see Melssa getting ready for a night's work by changing out of one top
because, after all, hookers are so careful about how they dress. That is
followed by a scene in which she takes a yokel to a hotel room and strips, so
that the dude shoots his load right into his drawers. Melissa's character then
offers to do the guy for real at half price. If that scenario sounds a bit
familiar you must have seen Uncaged (1991). In that movie, Leslie Bega plays the
young hooker who makes the same offer when her john gets way ahead of himself.
Ahh, Hollywood--where every script is fresh and oh so original.
In the second clip
Melissa does her boyfriend/pimp in one scene and then helps another hooker,
played by Khandi Alexander, do the business to a guy who pays to be humiliated.
Funny, all I have to do is visit the in-laws. Tis an amusing scene...and Melissa
looks real good.
Pat's comments in yellow...
Most Barbra Streisand fans were thrilled to hear she's planning another tour,
but some are threatening to sue. ContactMusic.com reports that some fans who
forked over hundreds of dollars a ticket for Barbra's 1999 "farewell tour,"
because it was their "last chance ever" to hear her, were furious when she
announced plans to tour again in October. They say they are planning to sue her
* This case is being watched closely by lawyers for Cher.
* They were promised they'd never see her again, and by God, they're
holding her to it!
TV Guide has bought jumptheshark.com, the website that chronicles TV
shows that aren't as good as they used to be
* It's a
perfect fit, since that's what TV Guide does every week.