• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.



The Year of the Gun (1991)

Tuna and I reviewed this film long ago. We both liked it. It was directed by John Frankenheimer, has some excellent script elements, two gorgeous nekkid women, and beautiful location photography. We were disappointed by the ordinary, featureless 4:3 DVD. I guess that means we liked the film enough to want to know a lot more about it. Here is the Movie House review.

And here is a film clip (zipped .avi) of Valeria Golino in a pretty suh-weet sex scene.


The Man-Eater (1999)

The film opens with a woman performing a sexually-oriented stage act. The highlight of this act involves spirited sexual congress with a large stuffed panda which will, at the very least, need to be cleaned thoroughly before it can be returned to its owner. I can't claim to have seen every film with stuffed-panda fuckin', but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is probably THE scene to watch if you are into this particular sexual practice.  In fact, I'll go the extra mile and say that I have never seen a better scene with a woman having sex with any kind of stuffed bear, and that includes teddy bears, although to tell the truth I have not seen many Australian porn films, so I may be missing out on some excellent stuffed koala scenes. I have disqualified those in advance because koalas are not really bears, nor even closely related to bears.

(A very tame capture is pictured at the Movie House. Note: this film is actually in color, but the director apparently felt that audiences could not handle panda-fuckin' in color. Who could blame him? That would be considered hard-core in many countries.)

The film is not called The Panda Fucker, however, but The Man Eater. You can therefore assume that it eventually gets to the point, or at least closer to a point of some kind, and starts to focus on various non-panda activities. A literal translation of the title would actually be closer to "the she-wolf,"  but the film is marketed to English-speaking channels as The Man Eater because that title has a double meaning in the context of one the star's favorite sexual practices. The star, Loredana Cannata, sets aside her panda long enough to perform a highly beloved form of man-eating on camera in the course of this film, thus earning La Donna Lupo a spot in Wikipedia's list of mainstream movies with unsimulated sex. In addition to this particular activity, Ms. Cannata also pleasures herself on camera by demonstrating her command of Houdini's famous "disappearing finger act," the secret to which I am not allowed to reveal as part of my long-standing agreement to abide by the magician's code, in return for which the magicians agree not to turn me into a newt or make my web site disappear. A small price to pay, if you ask me. Suffice it to say that Ms. Cannata spends the entire film engaging in various activities that are normally performed in public only when there are parties at Charlie Sheen's house. Astoundingly, at least by the more puritanical standards of America, the infinitely open-minded Italian public has subsequently accepted the same Ms. Cannata as a mainstream TV star in her native land.

In between the sex scenes, this is a mainstream and somewhat arty erotic thriller about a mysterious woman with an unquenchable appetite for anonymous sex. A young man picks up a beautiful woman for a one-night stand. He falls for her after a wild night of skinny dipping and hanky-panky, but she is gone in the morning, and the name and phone number she gave him turn out to be false. The young man is so smitten with his dream girl that he tracks her down, only to find out that her entire life consists of nights just like the one she spent with him - except with other men, using other false identities.

For a short time, Rare Licensed DVDs, the American importer for this title, is offering our customers a special opportunity to get a free additional DVD when ordering the Region 2 DVD of La Donna Lupo. You may choose either a Paola Senatore classic, or Tinto Brass's Capriccio. Please check all the product specs to ascertain whether you can play these films on your system. If you have any doubts, write to Rare Licensed DVDs for clarification. Get details of the promo by clicking on the picture below.

Uncle Scoopy Promo: La Donna Lupo DVD (Mainstream Goes Explicit)

Loredana Cannata


Other Crap:


Letterman's "Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having Sex With A Robot"

Officials Seek 'Enormous Ears Bandit'

  • "Bank robbers apparently don't have an advocacy group protesting such insulting law enforcement monickers as the 'Overweight Bandit,''Big Nose Bandit' and 'Oldtimer Bandit.' The latest is the so-called 'Enormous Ears Bandit.'"

Foreign Policy 101 with Condoleezza Rice (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

Hitler cats!

  • "A blog dedicated to cats that look like Hitler"

Oh, Officer Hinckley, you've done it again ... NYPD towing cars to impress Jodie Foster

Music Videos From the 80's :: Over 1,400 Videos!

Follow-up to the Unfinished Film article below. Pretty much everything there is to know about THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (1972)


The trailer for The Last Kiss (2006)

  • "The Last Kiss" is a contemporary comedy-drama about life, love, infidelity, forgiveness, marriage, friendship... and coming to grips with turning 30. It is an adaptation of Gabriele Muccino's acclaimed Italian film L'Ultimo Baccio."
  • It was directed by Tony Goldwyn, and written by Paul Haggis, who wrote the screenplays for Million Dollar Baby and Crash

Colbert offers an impassioned defense of risk-taking

Colbert explains GM's plan to give discounted gas to purchasers of gas-guzzlers.

Colbert looks at Bill Gates's plan to step down from Microsoft

Colbert weighs in on the Superman/gay discussion

Colbert makes it simple: "Mentioning Jesus in your speech is Small Government; doing what Jesus asked is Big Government."

A staffer updates Stephen Colbert on America's disappointments in the World Cup.

Colbert analyzes the number of monkeys required to type Hamlet.

Colbert acquires some new cheerleaders.

Colbert's Tip/Wag: A wag of the finger to LEGO for moving to Mexico.

The Daily Show: "Calvin Trillin reads poetry on the Bush Administration from his new book, 'A Heckuva Job'"

Juliet Eilperin talks to Jon Stewart about the first of many rules in her book Fight Club Politics.

The Daily Show's Dan Bakkedahl looks at the congressional softball league

The Daily Show's Samantha Bee looks at Congress's time-wasting Iraq debate

The Daily Show looks at the North Korean missile problem: "In Korean, the Taepodong missile translates to 'kind of penis.'"

The Daily Show looks at the House of Representatives and its usual empty gestures and sandbagging: "House Republicans will soon debate a resolution declaring kittens 'adorable.'"

The Daily Show takes advantage of a slow news day to analyze Geraldo's mustache.

The Daily Show looks at the international whaling ban.

The Daily Show looks at Kim Jong Il's strategy to create lethal weapons with silly names

The Daily Show looks at the video game rating system, and concludes that The House of Representatives is filled with insane jackasses.

Amy Poehler gave NY Mag her 8 Simple Rules For Being A Civilized New Yorker

  • 2. Don’t ask white girls if they “left their ass at home.”

Follow-up to that story on Broadway Bares ...Brooke Tansley has stripped for charity the past four years. (With pics.)


This week's movies (1000 screens): Waist Deep - 20% positive reviews

  • Scary: One reviewer called it "as bad as Glitter."
  • Scarier: So far, this has the higher percentage of positive reviews between this week's two new releases

This week's movies (3700 screens): Click - 13% positive reviews.

  • 13%? That has to be an all-time high for Adam Sandler. Has he ever hit double figures before? This movie may do a trillion at the box office.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


The Prince of Pennsylvania (1988)

This is a "rebellious youth" comedy set in a mining town in Pennsylvania. Ruport (Keanu Reeves) dropped out of high school, because he just didn't fit in. He is not very happy to be living at home, but then how could he be? He's a high school drop-out, his mother (Bonnie Bedelia) is sleeping with her husband's best friend, and his father makes no effort at all to relate to him.

The only person Ruport does relate to is a local hippy (Amy Madigan), the owner of a seedy drive-in. He fancies himself in love with her. He concocts a scheme to kidnap his dad and force the sale of some property to a mining company, then take the money and run away with Madigan. As you might imagine, things don't quite work out as planned.

Roger Ebert was highly incensed that they took honest, hard-working characters and legitimate acting talent and put them into such a silly plot. Critics were uniformly unkind. While I did get a chuckle or two, I have to agree. The plot was rather far-fetched to begin with, and the development and details made it worse, not better. This is a D.

IMDb readers say 5.2.


Amy Madigan in the aftermath of a sex scene, showing her breasts and buns.








Guess What ? More from "Sexy Movie."

For soft-core erotica, this really is kind of a funny movie. Two average Joes attempt to make a porn movie.

First up is Dawn Arellano.

Then porn star Mary Carey.

And both reveal all.




Caps of a 45-yr-old Melissa Leo in The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada have made their way to the Funhouse recently. So I thought it was time to cap Ms. Leo in Streetwalkin', made when she was 24. She played and looked to be a much younger woman, turning tricks when she and her brother are thrown onto the streets. Not a great movie, but not silly or stupid, either. Key point is that Melissa shows off two of the three B's in four scenes. The caps and two clips cover that territory (each of the two zipped .avi clips includes a pair of scenes), but understand that this movie is not available in DVD, so we are talking the quality of material taken from videotape.

In the first clip you see Melssa getting ready for a night's work by changing out of one top because, after all, hookers are so careful about how they dress.  That is followed by a scene in which she takes a yokel to a hotel room and strips, so that the dude shoots his load right into his drawers. Melissa's character then offers to do the guy for real at half price. If that scenario sounds a bit familiar you must have seen Uncaged (1991). In that movie, Leslie Bega plays the young hooker who makes the same offer when her john gets way ahead of himself. Ahh, Hollywood--where every script is fresh and oh so original.

In the second clip Melissa does her boyfriend/pimp in one scene and then helps another hooker, played by Khandi Alexander, do the business to a guy who pays to be humiliated. Funny, all I have to do is visit the in-laws. Tis an amusing scene...and Melissa looks real good.

Melissa Leo









Anne Hathaway in Brokeback Mountain
Michelle Williams in Brokeback Mountain

Christina Ricci in Prozac Nation


Pat's comments in yellow...

Most Barbra Streisand fans were thrilled to hear she's planning another tour, but some are threatening to sue. reports that some fans who forked over hundreds of dollars a ticket for Barbra's 1999 "farewell tour," because it was their "last chance ever" to hear her, were furious when she announced plans to tour again in October.  They say they are planning to sue her for fraud.

*  This case is being watched closely by lawyers for Cher.

*  They were promised they'd never see her again, and by God, they're
holding her to it!

TV Guide has bought, the website that chronicles TV
shows that aren't as good as they used to be

* It's a perfect fit, since that's what TV Guide does every week.