Tuna, our main contributor and the most energetic video capper ever known to man (as all of you well know) is currently indisposed. He is in intensive care in a hospital in the San Francisco Bay area. It doesn't make sense to send him any well-wishes at this point, since he is not checking his e-mail, and it would not make sense to call him, since ICU is not the place to do that.
He is in good spirits, and said he that he hopes to back on the job by next week! (Because the 70-75,000 collages he has already made just aren't enough!)
We'll continue to keep everyone posted and let you all know when he's ready to get e-mail and/or calls.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The Ranch (2004)
If I had known more about this I never would have
Not that it is so very bad. It
is just a typical made-for-cable kind of project about a bunch of
girls who work at a legal bordello in Nevada. Several of the girls
have their own storylines. One is leaving to get married, but has
not told her family or her fiancé that she is a prostitute (they
think she's an international flight attendant). One is running away
from a vicious pimp. One aspires to be a professional singer. One is
trying to be a real mother on her week off (they work "three on, one
off"), and hopes to leave the life, even if it means a pay cut. And
so forth. The script tries to generate additional dramatic tension
through the interaction between the girls. One of the girls is a
complete loner who refuses to get along with the others. One of the
girls is a closet lesbian who is secretly in love with a co-worker.
You get the idea. It's a soap opera in format, with the only twist
being their unusual profession. Come to think of it, their
profession is not so unusual in real life, only as a subject for a TV
The Ranch even has a few creditable
professionals attached to it. Amy Madigan plays the manager, and
Susan Seidelman directed. She's the director of Desperately Seeking
Susan. So what's so wrong with The Ranch that I regret
having watched it? Well, you see it was not made to stand as a
discrete 90 minute movie. It was meant to be a pilot for a series on
Showtime. As a result, none of the plot lines are resolved.
Everything is simply left hanging in order to whet our appetite for
a series which would never materialize. Given that fact, I'd
advise you to stray away.
One piece of advice. If you do decide that you
just have to see this, do not get the R-rated version. It has no skin, and the dialogue has all been re-dubbed to
eliminate the naughtiest words. Yeah, I know that's pretty silly
when you consider that it is already rated R for the thematic
material, but that's the way it is. The "uncut, unrated" edition
does have lots of topless exposure, although no lower body action.
It also has the original, natural dialogue, although even that will
not be mistaken for the richest parts of "Scarface." In other
words, the "uncut, unrated" version would probably also be rated R
if it were to be submitted, but at least it could be deemed worth
watching for some lurid guilty pleasure. The so-called "R rated"
version is simply a complete waste of your time.
- Jessica Collins (1,
- Jennifer Aspen (1,
- Paige Moss (1,
- Nicky Michaeux (1,
- Samantha Ferris (1,
- Bonnie Root
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Today is kind of a "Damsel in Peril" day.
No Time Machine today as we take a look at a current release called "Blood Relic".
Here we have Caitlin Sabins forced to strip by a gas masked intruder who then fondles her gorgeous boobs with a knife and his hands.
This girl really has a set! Oh, and by the way, it turns out the bad guy was her boyfriend and they were just doing a little role playing!
A great movie? No. But it has some nice nudity, which means we will be back with more from this one including a real "Babes in Bondage"
- Caitlin Sabins
|Mr. Nude Celeb
'Caps and a few comments by Mr. Nude Celeb:
I fell asleep watching "Darkness" but at least I saw Lena Olin show some serious pokies before I nodded off into dreamland.
Enjoyed the hell out of "Harold & Kumar"! When a stupid movie is done right, I laugh my ass off. Plus, Malin Akerman topless was a very nice surprise (as was the Neil Patrick Harris cameo!).
I only watched the Canadian movie "The Fall" so I could see Hélène de Fougerolles in a love scene (she's extremely sexy if you ask me). Canadian actress Soo Garay also briefly bared a breast.
And finally today, I watched "A Love Song for Bobby Long". I didn't expect to like this movie for some reason, but I was in a good mood when I watched it, and was captured by it's spell. Besides, the fact that Scarlett Johansson looked absolutely amazing throughout the film didn't hurt either.
- Scarlett Johansson
||A little bit of toplessness in scenes from the 2001 French movie "Objectif bac" aka "The Final Exam".
|Next up we have French film legend Catherine Deneuve topless in a bath tub scene from "Pola X" (1999). There's also a little bonus breast exposure from Chuillot.
||Yet another French breast is on display in these 'caps from the 2003 film "Bienvenue chez les Rozes"
|Vejiita's final Euro-babe for today...here is Fenech topless and baring a bit of bum in scenes from "Io e Caterina" aka "Catherine and I" (1980).
|Señor Skin takes a look at the Richard Gere movie, "Dr T and the Women" (2000), directed by Robert Altman. Many folks consider Altman to bee one of the great Hollywood directors. Personally, I don't get it. Sure, he has made many, shall we say "workmanlike" and/or "satisfactory" films. And of course, he was at the helm for a couple of fantastic movies like "MASH" and "The Player". However, he also made "Popeye".
One thing I will give him full credit for is his ability to get big named stars to show some skin! Here we see Farrah nekkid and still looking great in her early 50's! By the way, Pelham also bares a breast or two.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
THE VIRGIN MICHAEL MIRACLE TOAST
But Michael Escaped Grilling! - Inspired by the Virgin Mary cheese
sandwich, some sellers on eBay are auctioning slices of toast with Michael
Jackson's face on them or the words "Not guilty" burned into them. They
claim these aren't faked and miraculously popped out of the toasters around
the time the verdict came in. One claims his slice of toast is "a
wonderful memento of this historic day that you will cherish for years to
It's like the verdict: you can chew on it for years, but it'll still be
impossible to swallow.
Michael never eats toast himself...He prefers small, buttered buns.
REALITY TV SHOW WRITERS WANT TO UNIONIZE
Will Work For Horse Rectums - Over 1,000 writers and editors for TV reality
shows asked the Writers' Guild to represent them, but producers are
refusing to recognize the union in negotiations. The writers say reality
shows are "written," and the people who create them deserve union
representation because they're overworked and underpaid.
I've seen their work: it is not possible for them to be underpaid.
The writers for "Fear Factor" are so underpaid, they eat worse than the
Donald Trump would just say, "You're fired."
I say they should go on strike! Or better yet, all of them quit!
LIVE 8 REJECTS MOTLEY CRUE, WANTS SPICE GIRLS
Good Call! - The Scotsman newspaper reports that Motley Crue offered to
play the Live 8 charity concerts but were rejected. The promoter said they
were one of 65 bands who were turned down because they didn't have room for
them all. However, Bob Geldof said the only thing preventing a Spice Girls
reunion is that Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is holding out and doesn't want
to return to the past.
Wow! She's the most charitable of all!
Just the thought of a Spice Girls reunion is scary enough.
Tommy Lee also lost interest when he heard they'd only be four Spice
TOM CRUISE WEIRDNESS UPDATE
Mission Unbearable - Radarmagazine.com claims that Scarlett Johansson
pulled out of "Mission Impossible 3" after Tom Cruise took her to the L.A.
Scientology Center, proselytized for two hours, then opened a door to
reveal a room full of upper-level Scientologists waiting to dine with them.
At that point, she politely excused herself and left.
And they all followed her home.
But He'll Sue For RayBan Rust - Tom Cruise will not press criminal charges
against the four men from a British practical joke show who sprayed him
with water at a movie premiere.
But only if they'll come to the L.A. Scientology Center.
|A quick site note
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