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Web and Celeb
  • Boris Yeltsin presented Clinton with a gift last week - all the Russian intelligence files concerning the Kennedy assassination. After reviewing them carefully, Clinton reported to aides with a heavy heart that he now knew for certain something he always suspected but wished wasn't true. Kennedy bagged a lot more interns that he did.
  • The prez reported that he and Hillary will not be living separately. They will both stay in the White House until his term ends, then will both move to New York if Hillary wins that seat. Of course Hillary will move to Manhattan, and Clinton to Attica. Clinton also pointed out that he'll be spending quite a bit of time in Little Rock "working on his library", and hiring some really cute librarians.
  • McDonald's and KFC sales are slumping in China in the wake of recent anti-American backlash, opening up a great opportunity for the top native fast food chain, "Baked Pig Face". I can't understand why they haven't tried to market that concept outside of China. I'd support them just to hear their jingle on TV.
  • The Top Commercial Tag Lines for "Baked Pig Face"
    1. You deserve some face today.
    2. It takes two hands to handle a pig face. Maybe more, depending on the size of the pig.
    3. Your choice, assorted, or all-snout
    4. Free copy of Lord of the Flies with every pig face.
    5. Tired of boring, BROILED pig face?
    6. Hi, Tom Arnold here. Y'know, nobody knows more about pig face than I do, and ...
    7. Careful, honey. Don't sit on my face.
    The Realist
  • Several and various from The Realist today. The first movie is one that I saw first-run, about 25-30 years ago. The Lickerish Quartet. It's a strange soft-core porn film from Radley Metzger. Probably the most philosophical porn film ever made, and one of the best filmed. The essence of the story is an illusion/reality conflict, where the characters in the movie comment upon characters in another movie which they are watching - or maybe they themselves are those characters. You have to give Metzger credit. Most porno filmmakers couldn't spell Pirandello, and he not only quotes him, but does a fairly effective job at mimicking him. The film was set in a lavish European castle in the mountains, and contains some of the most stunning images ever captured in a sex film. The head tootsie is the beautiful Silvana Venturelli
  • Here's the only scene I can actually remember. Venturelli and the owner of the castle romp around on the floor of his library, and the floor is tiled with dictionary entries - but only the naughty words.
  • Here's the prelude to the library scene. The male lead, Frank Wolff, committed suicide not long after this film was released. I don't remember what his suicide was about, but I don't think it was related to the movie. Perhaps he just looked in a mirror and saw this haircut.
  • Here's Venturelli in an outdoor scene with the actor who played the son of the other guy.
  • and one more with the bad hair dude
  • the other female star of the movie was Erika Remberg
  • Alas. Adrian Lyme makes beautiful movies, but they are not very capture-friendly. He loves to bathe scenes in blue or violet light, and he loves a very soft focus. This is Elizabeth Pena in Jacob's Ladder. This movie relies on kind of a trick ending, and yet it is even better when you watch it again knowing the answer, because you see all the attention to detail that Lyne put into it. It is basically an updating of Ambrose Bierce's famous short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, from the Civil War to the Vietnam War, but it has its own character independent of the core story. It features one of the best child performances I've ever seen, from a pre-fame Macauley Culkin, and some really memorable characters created by Tim Robbins and Danny Aiello. Possibly the most underrated film ever.
  • Elizabeth Pena in Jacob's Ladder. The basic story has been brought to the sceen many times. I suppose the most famous is an episode of Twilight Zone. In fact, the highest-rated episode of all time.
  • Elizabeth Pena in Jacob's Ladder. If you have a dark monitor, you won't be able to see a thing here. If you have your settings in good shape, you'll get to see the one and only look of Elizabeth Pena's pubes of which I am aware.
  • Assorted
  • Recent picture of Mariah Carey in a bikini. As you can see, she may be a little softer than before, but whatever weight she gained doesn't seem to explain the bosom. One reader wrote to tell me that a New York radio ststion announced that she has had implants, although I have not read this from any source that is completely reliable.
  • speaking of Sweden, here's the new 18 year old modeling sensation Rebecca Gunnarson, pretty much stark naked
  • another frontal peek at Rebecca Gunnarson
  • an oldie - Crow's caps of Mimi Craven in Dogwatch
  • Dawn Radenbaugh in "Facade", from Dann.
  • Jeannie Mae Millar in "Facade", from Dann
  • Paige Adams in "Facade", from Dann
  • Hudson Leick, the evil Calisto herself, in "Something about Sex". This movie is also known as Denial. Captures from Graphic Response.
  • from Schatten: Leigh Taylor-Young in The Horsemen