Lohan must have been really desperate for a paycheck in 2013, or perhaps she just wanted to get her foot back in the door of a movie industry which had determined her to be too unreliable to cast. Whatever her motivation, she chose as her comeback effort one of the most amateurish and embarrassing films I've ever seen. It's basically a porno film except (1) there is no penetration, and (2) most porno films have better acting and higher production values.

Lohan has always been a competent actress when she takes the whole thing seriously, and she did fine here, but her co-stars seemed to recite their lines like fifth graders reading aloud in remedial language classes.

Ewa Aulin seemed to fulfill the Warhol prophecy that a time would come when everyone would be famous for 15 minutes. She was really hot there for a very brief time in the late 60s. A former Miss Teen International from Sweden, she somehow got the starring role in the big-budget Hollywood production of Candy in 1968. Her co-stars and on-screen lovers represented a litany of the top entertainment figures of the day: Richard Burton, Marlon Brando, James Coburn, Walter Matthau, John Astin, Ringo and others.

Her fame was transitory. Three years later she was back doing grade-z Eurocrap, mostly sex farces and horror films, and within an additional three years she had disappeared from public life altogether. She did five films in 1973 and then abruptly left the industry, leaving behind no credits in 1974 or any other year for more than two decades. Washed up from show biz at age 23, she got married and had children, then went back to school and became an educator.