The Tulse Luper Suitcases, Part One:
You know how it is with fame. Some
people seem to get far more of it than they deserve, while
others get short-changed. In my opinion, Caroline Dhavernas
has been short-changed. She's gorgeous, talented, charming,
completely bi-lingual, comes from a show-biz family, and will get naked whenever
the role requires it. Maybe even when it doesn't. She came
within a hair's-breadth of the A-list with her series, Wonderfalls, which
got tremendous reviews and built a cult audience, but never
got high enough numbers to break through.
Maybe fame will still come to her.
Maybe not. In the meantime, we can smile ruefully that Paris
Hilton is known to all the world while Dhavernas is toting
her head shots around to auditions.
The Tulse Luper Suitcases is a typically complex,
convoluted, wildly imaginative, often surreal film from the
mind of filmdom's resident aesthete, Peter Greenaway.
Actually, it's several films, a TV series, some DVDs, a few
websites and God knows what else. Probably a breakfast bar
too, for all I know. It's too long to explain, and I've
already done so once, so
check it out here
if you really care about the details.
The key element for today: seven zipped
.avis of Dhavernas in various (and all) stages of undress. (1,
No region 1 DVD. Region 2 DVD info
(PAL) can be obtained by clicking on the image below.
LOST babe Evangeline
Lilly has revealed she covers up all the
mirrors in her house because she hates the way
Well, that and the vampire thing.
Colbert takes a strong
stand against gay snake marriage!
Who says TV quality is
"Corey Feldman and Corey
Haim will join forces to hopefully resurrect
their careers from the gutter. They will star
in a new comedy series called The Coreys."
"South Park creators Trey
Parker and Matt Stone are working on a
Broadway musical - about Mormons."
"The Hitler vs. Coulter
Quiz" Can you
correctly attribute the quotes?
Brazil Vs. Turkey, World
Cup clash of cultures!
ROVE, SATAN PLOT G.O.P.
... White House Advisor, Prince of Darkness
Resume Longtime Collaboration
NFL pre-season power
World Cup - now THESE are
the types of soccer uniforms I approve of.
New York is the politest
"Top Ten Signs New York
City Is Becoming More Polite"
"Paramount Pictures is
suing a Washington, D.C. filmmaker for
copyright infringement, claiming that the man
used a 'bootleg script' to create a knockoff
version of director Oliver Stone's upcoming
film on the September 11 attacks."
"Rare interview with Andy
This is from the documentary 'The Real Andy
"From the MTV awards.
Jimmy Fallon spoofs Anakin."
The best bootleg DVD
(This would have been a very different film if
it delivered on the promise of this box.
"Natalie Portman and Eric
Bana are in final negotiations to topline
Columbia Pictures' 'The Other Boleyn Girl.'"
L.A. debut of "The God of
Hell" = directed by George Costanza, starring
Booger and Dauber.
(Written by Sam Shepard)
Angelina Jolie on CNN's
Anderson Cooper 360
The trailer for
- Disney sports movie
starring Marky Mark
The trailer for
Conversations with Other Women
- "When a man and a
woman flirt with each other at a wedding
reception, the sexual tension between them
seems spontaneous. But as the conversation
deepens, their previous life together is
gradually revealed. As they break from the
party to a hotel room, the flirtation turns
into a night filled with passion and
In The Land of Women
- A film that looks
like Garden State. Starring Adam Brody, Meg
Ryan, Kristen Stewart, Olympia Dukakis, and
"During last night's
performance in Chicago, Radiohead premiered a
new song called 'All I Need.' Naturally, the
video is already online."
Comedy Central to Roast
"The director of
'Sunshine', Danny Boyle, introduces himself
and the film.
Including loads of sneak peeks of 'Sunshine'
which is still in post-production. "
DailyTech - DirecTV
Titanium For the Ultimate Couch Potato
- Comments by
Cheerleader Guy: "Too much time AND too much
money on your hands? This is just the thing
for you. DirecTv announced the Titanium
Package. Every channel (including every
pay-per-view) and all of the DVRs you need
to record 'em. Only $7500 per year.
This MIGHT be ok if the DirecTv DVR wasn't a
total piece of shit. I have one, and I will
NEVER switch from my TiVos again. I rank the
DirecTv DVR as one of the worst electronic
purchases that I have EVER made. The
software is just so bad, I hate to use it."
Nike-designed football uniforms"
Caddychicks.com | Who's Your Caddy?
- Even my obscure
little home course - a public layout in
Temple, Texas - has a caddy available!
- Re: the Caddy
site: "I don't know about any of the other
is also an amateur
as seen here.
God bless the internet."
'That bikini is mine'
Sports, streakers, bikinis, fake breasts, law
suits ... this story has it all!!!
Photo Gallery - Fanatic
(and Sexy) World Cup Fans
- The USA needs a win
and some help, or it's auf wiedersehen.
Childhood pics of NBA
The trailer and a clip
from Edmond, a new film with script from David Mamet
- "'Edmond' is the
dark, picaresque tale of an everyman
(William H. Macy) who, after realizing his
life is boring and meaningless, leaves it
all behind to embark on his own quest for
truth and fulfillment"
Shatner joins the TV Hall
- What amazes me is
that 100 people went in before Shatner
"Harry Knowles and his
blurby young acolytes oust the old-school film
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Sex and the Emperor (1994)
"Man qing jin gong qi an" is a HK Category III historical drama about a
young emperor who dies of syphilis. The story is narrated by a "half-eunuch."
You see, his father saved the castration expert's life, and wanted an heir, so
the official castrator only took one testicle. He is the favorite companion of
the young emperor, who is madly in love with a humble chambermaid named
Guilian (Yvonne Yung Hung). Meanwhile, the eunuch impregnates a different
chambermaid. The head eunuch senses that he is in political danger from the
friendship of the young emperor and the partial eunuch, so he manages to kill
the partial eunuch's pregnant girlfriend.
The queen mother has the emperor's favorite chambermaid sold to a
whorehouse, and then forces the emperor to marry a women with the proper
pedigree. Guilian refuses brothel work, even after expert training from Madame
Hongyi, played by Julie Lee. (Watch for an inspired scene where Julie Lee
demonstrates the 8 semi-devils to a new crop of working girls.) The emperor
figures out what happened to his lost love and starts sneaking into town,
trying to find her. At first, he only searches through the numerous
whorehouses in town, but he eventually begins sampling the wares, which is how
he contracts syphilis.
This is a C-. The narration is nearly constant, which makes it rather
talky but, even more important, requires lots of sub-titles. Since the
subtitles are burned in, the constant chatter of the narration gets in the way
of a lot of nudity! The video quality also leaves much to be desired.
IMDb lists this one, and rates it 5.2.
The sub-titles are good this time, with no glaring errors in translation.
|Yvonne Yung Hung
shows breasts and buns.
| Numerous unidentified women show
various body parts.
More from "Sexy Movie."
Amber Ambrose in her only credited role at IMDb - and that's
a shame because I would really like to see more of this sexy girl.
Although she does show it all here, I guess she decided this career wasn't for
Pat's comments in yellow...
Lena Sims Driskell, 79, of Atlanta, Georgia, is on trial for murder after she
allegedly shot her 85-year-old boyfriend for dumping her for another woman.
Police say when they arrived at their retirement home, Driskell was waving the
gun and shouting, "I did it, and I'd do it again!" But she may have found a
unique way out. Jury selection began Monday, and her lawyer said it's the
youngest jury pool she's ever seen, with most of them looking under 30, young
enough to be Driskell's great-grandchildren. She argued that they aren't old
enough to be a jury of Driskell's peers, so her rights
are being denied. And the legal age to be exempt from a jury is 70.
* They'll have to entice seniors to volunteer for jury
duty by offering them free "Matlock" on the hotel TVs.
* She demands a jury of "peers," which in this case is pronounced with two
syllables - jurors so old, they constantly have
HEADLINE OF THE DAY! From the Houston, TX, Chronicle: "Avoid Swimming in
* Well, there go my vacation plans!