Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Contact Tuna by writing Send submissions to

Search by keywords:
In Association with
Use this search device to seek additional information from about any of the books or movies you read about here.

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

"Lethal Target"

Lethal Target (1999) is one of the Lloyd A. Simandl Sci Fi soft-cores, and possibly one of the best. As you recall, they all start out with scantily clad women moving rocks in a prison mine, then one of the prisoners is summoned, and given a special dangerous assignment, for which she will win her freedom. The location then changes from the mines to a warehouse in Prague, which serves as any number of inner cities, spaceships, and whatever else they need. In this case, it is a spaceship, and C. C. Costigan is up against the alien from Alien, who has fallen on hard times and is now working in grade Z soft-cores. The ship was on a scientific exploration and research mission when the female captain, Kim Dawson, returned from a field trip infected with the alien, and spread it to the crew. Costigan must defeat the alien and save the world. This, of course, necessitates lots of sex and nudity, including breasts and buns from Costigan and Dawson, as well as several Czech girls who show their breasts.

IMDB now has a grand total of 13 votes, and it is 4.9 of 10. There is now one review linked, and it trashes not only the film, but the DVD. Hey, it has naked women in good light, some semblance of a plot, and mostly decent photography, so it nearly meets genre expectations. C-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • C.C. Costigan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Kim Dawson (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)


    Gabriela (2001) is on a par with Harlequin novels. That is to say, it is only suitable for providing shower nozzle masturbation fantasy material for emotionally and romantically starved women. A young social worker (Jaime Gomez) is working at a private mental hospital, and is looking for the one perfect woman to be devoted to, when in walks Gabriela (Seidy Lopez) student intern/therapist in training. The attraction is instantaneous, but there is a minor complication. She is living with her fiancee, and her traditional Mexican family is pushing for the wedding real hard. The two can't deny their feelings, and end up in bed. But when her fiancee catches them, she decides to go back to him and go through with the wedding to the wrong man because that is what her family wants.

    Here is where we get to the estrogen overload. Gomez follows her to Mexico, crashes the Wedding, proposing to her, and finally wins her consent singing her favorite song in Spanish, while all of her relatives applaud. So she gets the perfect guy who is totally devoted to her. The only exposure is a nip slip during the first of two sex scenes between Lopez and Gomez. The stars are attractive, all of the acting, even from the mental patients, was well above average, and art direction was very good, but the DVD quality was very poor, with lots of noise, and some synch problems. Imagine my surprise when I found it rated 9.3 of 10 at IMDB. Lowest scores from males over 45, but still 9.1. Then again, romance novels sell too. It was far too sappy and syrupy for me. C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Seidy Lopez (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    From Tuna's mail bag

    A reader provided the following interesting tidbit"


    "Just thought you'd like to know that Inari Vox is porn star Inari Vachs. This is the first time I've seen her use the Vox spelling, but then again this is the first non-porn film I know of that she's been in."

    He, of course, was talking about one of the three actresses in Forbidden. Turns out, under her usual stage name, she has appeared in 179 videos. I suppose the name change for this soft-core was to protect her image.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The cast of the offbeat softcore film, The First Nudie Musical, included Cindy Williams (Shirley from Laverne and Shirley) and future ace director Ron Howard. They didn't get naked. Opie's role was a cameo, but Williams is the star of the film, even though it's a nudie musical, she doesn't get naked, and she doesn't sing.

    I told you it was offbeat.


    Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

    Other crap:

    • The twenty dumbest state flags
    • Not only did Alexander Graham Bell not invent the telephone, but he probably stole the plans from the Italian guy who actually did - 27 years earlier! "After being ignored for months by Western Union officials, a fed-up Meucci tried to get his prototype and supporting documentation back, but was told it had been misplaced. A few years later, Bell and Elisha Gray came up with almost identical inventions".
    • Speaking of re-written history, if you have never real my article on Edward Muybridge, the guy who actually invented motion pictures - here it is. Edison and the Lumieres gave their first exhibitions in 1895-1986. Muybridge demonstrated a more technically advanced technique on May 4, 1880, as fully documented by four newspapers which covered the event. Most pertinent to our page, Muybridge filmed the first nude scenes in 1884-1886 (shown on the page) - ten years before Edison and the Lumieres "invented" projected motion pictures.
    • Semi-intellectual Slate Magazine weighs in on the phenomenon of the "failure cache". Celebrity boxing, Bill Shatner's rapping, Bob Dole's commercials, "Showgirls", and the whole new cult of "bad". Their conclusion: great failure is its own form of success. And there is much rejoicing ... at Potsie's house.
    • Maxim Online picks the fifty worst movies of all time. It's mostly just someone's shoulder chip, but the comments are entertaining. (I think it's pretty obvious that The English Patient is not one of the fifty worst movies ever made, even though it may well be one of the fifty most hated.). If I were choosing in earnest, the following are some I would pick for the list, in addition to last year's champ, Freddy Got Fingered. I'd say these are the worst ones I've seen since I started doing this web site. They are in no special order.
    1. Going Overboard
    2. Gummo
    3. Glam
    4. Mother and Son
    5. Manos, the Hands of Fate
    6. Dead Babies
    7. High Strung
    8. Hardcase and Fist
    9. Redline
    10. Yor, Hunter from the Future
    11. Island of the Dead
    12. The Loss of Sexual Innocence

    If I had to choose one as the very worst, I guess it would have to be Glam, but Dead Babies is a strong contender. I have never seen Spice World.



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Amanda Donohoe, all three B's in the 1987 movie "Castaway"

    • Holly Hunter, bares breasts and bum in her Oscar Award winning performance in "The Piano".

    • Mädchen Amick, toplessness and full frontal nudity in "Dream Lover" (1994).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Catarina Furtado Subtle nipple sighting in the tub from the Portuguese actress in scenes from "Un délicieux cauchemar"

    Dervla Kirwan
    (1, 2)

    Breast exposure in a couple of love scenes from the UK film "With or Without You" (1999).

    France Dougnac Breast and panties in scenes from 1979's "Coup de tête".

    Gabrielle Anwar Beautiful nudity (topless and almost more) in scenes from "Body Snatchers", the 1993 remake of the sci-fi classic "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".

    Julie Graham
    (1, 2, 3)

    Full frontal nudity in #1, gettin' it on in #2. Scenes from the movie "With or Without You".

    Natacha Lindinger Two topless scenes from the French movie "Rendez-vous avec la mort" (1999).

    Jimmy The Saint
    Jane Horrocks
    (1, 2)

    Yanks know her best as the voice of Babs from "Chicken Run". Here she is topless in scenes from the UK film "Life is Sweet" (1990).

    Amanda Pays Brief nipple sightings from "Solitaire for 2" (1995).

    Miranda Otto Breast and bum views in the Aussie movie "The Nostradamus Kid". Look for her in the upcoming "Lord of the Rings" sequels.

    Naomi Russell Topless paparazzi pics of the young actress from the UK soap "Coronation Street".


    Amy Lindsay is just so darned cute that I just had to do a few more 'caps of her in "Forbidden Sins". Today it's a little upskirt tease (in links 1 and 2), then it's on to the topless and full frontal exposure.

    • Amy Lindsay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Today's "Babe in Bondage is Stephanie Moore in "Hangman" and for poor Stephanie that's what happens to her.

    • Stephanie Moore (topless in #3) (1, 2, 3)

    Tanja Reichert Cleavage and breast exposure in scenes from the straight-to-video movie "Sanctimony" (2000). Starring not one, but 3 Fun House Heroes! Casper Van Dien, Michael Paré and Eric Roberts! Collage by Dann.

    Claire Keim
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Hot lesbian lovin' and lots of it in the noir indie, "The Girl".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    The Scales Of Justice - Amy Gunderson, a 30-year-old model, is suing the New York Police Department for false arrest and malicious prosecution after they busted her for indecent exposure for appearing as a topless mermaid in a Coney Island parade. Her costume consisted of a thong and body paint, and the cops who booked her made her put Band-Aids over her nipples. She said she didn't understand why she was in trouble, and a judge agreed the costume was appropriate and dropped the charge.

  • Actually, it was only appropriate for the New Orleans Mardi Gras Parade.
  • They called her the Not-So-Little Mermaid. But everybody knows real mermaids wear little seashells on their breasts!

    The Man Who Is Still There - Publicists for Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie denied a rumor in a British tabloid that they have split up and are heading for divorce. Likewise, Pamela Anderson denied a tabloid report that she had dumped Kid Rock because of his excessive drinking, and she claims their marriage is still on.

  • Those couples can't split up...They'd have to remove too many tattoos of each other's names.
  • The tabloids apologized...Those stories weren't supposed to run for another six months.

    Celebrity We're Most Sick Of - Forbes has issued its annual "Celebrity 100 List," which combines earnings with media exposure to calculate the most powerful celebrities. George Lucas made the most money ($200 million), but topping the list was Britney Spears. She earned "only" $39.2 million, but when Forbes added in all her exposure -- magazine covers, TV specials, concerts, radio play, Web hits, etc. -- it was enough for her to push Tom Cruise out of the #1 spot.

  • He may need to start dancing around in his underwear again.
  • It's hard to believe that someone who refuses to do nudity could be so completely overexposed.
  • There was a lot written about George Lucas, but it was mostly about how much his "Star Wars" scripts suck.

    There's No Sex On "Friends?" - NBC hopes they've finally found a show to replace "Friends." They've bought the rights to "Coupling," a British sitcom that's been described as "'Friends' with sex." It's about a group of sexy thirtysomethings who are always getting naked and jumping in and out of bed with each other. An NBC executive said they don't want to tone down the sex and nudity because they see it as the perfect edgy, "next-generation" show for "Friends" fans.

  • It's like if all the Friends were Joey.
  • If they just added nudity to "Friends," it'd run for another 10 years, easy.
  • Yeah, I've always thought that what "Friends" really needed was Ross naked.
  • Aside from the nudity, this sounds like every other sitcom besides "Friends."

  • Celeb Gossip

    Christina's D-Cup boobs were too big for her tiny 5-foot-1 frame. They were so big they were the first thing people looked at, and she didn't like it. Her advisers said she'd get better roles if she had a smaller chest because some directors equate big boobs with being a bimbo. She went under the knife after she decided to do a nude scene for the movie 'Prozac Nation'. She supposedly had the surgery right around her 20th birthday in February 2000.