* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.









Levottomat (2000) is a romance/drama from Finland, which became popular enough to spawn sequels. It is nearly hardcore in its sex scenes, but has great depth of character development among all six major characters.

Mikko Nousiainen is an emergency doctor. In many countries, these emergency doctors are mobile, making paramedics unnecessary. He meets long blonde Laura Malmivaara at the beach, and cautions her that he doesn't do relationships, because he has no feelings. It is true -- he is an emotional void, but he is an enthusiastic lover, and she naturally falls for him based on their first meeting and bedding. She at least has the good sense to get his cell number, and keeps calling him. After a very unpleasant tryst with an older woman in a bar, he decides that seeing her again would not be that bad an idea, and they become an item, but she is constantly bothered by his inability to commit.

She introduces him to two couples -- her best friends -- and they accept him. The group has obviously been together a very long time, and have a common vocabulary, history, and traditions, which include a game called I never, where one of them completes the phrase "I never (fill in the blank)." If they are the only one of the group that has never done that, they score a point. It is as good a plot device for exposition as I have seen. When one of the women, Matleena Kuusniemi, who is due to be married, agrees with Mikko that she also has never been in love during a Midsummer Night party, the stage is set for them to have an affair, which nearly destroys the entire circle of friends when they are caught. Meanwhile, Laura discovers she is pregnant, and still wants a permanent relationship with Mikko.

The third woman, played by Irina Bjorklund, who is a priest, hits on him as well, as was bound to happen. Being an equal opportunity philanderer, he does the nasty with her, then she rebukes him. Matleena and her intended patch things up, Irina will perform the ceremony, and Mikko and Laura will be witnesses. After the wedding, Irina drops a bombshell during "I never," by saying "I never had an orgasm having sex with another person."

I will leave it up to you to discover how it all plays out and who finds redemption.

I was amazed to discover that this was a student film project by director Aku Louhimies, writer Aleksi Bardy and Editor Heikkila. Budding film makers should see this freshman effort and take careful notes on how to create a good film economically.

  • First, they stuck to something they knew: contemporary Finnish relationships between young adults.
  • Second, they used a small cast.
  • Third, they confined themselves to a few locations, all practical.

The result was outstanding. I don't think I have ever wanted so badly to score a soft core film higher than a C+, but our rating system doesn't permit it. It is sad but true that people who are opposed to graphic nudity in film would not like this one either. For the rest of you, I strongly recommend it. The bodies are lovely, the acting is top notch, and the sex scenes have heat. Best of all, the character development is superb, making us care about all of the characters. If you would like a shorter version of Friends with young people who actually get naked and have sex, this is your film.

It is only available in the USA from on an All Region PAL. This disk also contains over 13 minutes of deleted scenes, including extended versions of two of the sex scenes.  It is in Finnish with optional subtitles which are well done. Click on the image below for details.

Levottomat 1 DVD aka Restless Widescreen (2000)

PAL discs will display properly on a computer in North America, even if you only have a Region 1 disc drive.  If you want to play the disc with an American TV and a stand-alone DVD player, here's their info on a stand-alone play-all DVD players.

*Special Deal* Region Free DVD Player Plus 4 DVDs

IMDb readers say 6.0, with a respectable 1,400 votes, and won 3 Jussi awards, including Peoples Choice, Best Editing and a special Jussi for the Soundtrack.

Mikko Nousiainen, Laura Malmivaara, Matleena Kuusniemi and Irina Bjorklund all show everything. There is also nudity from several unknowns.



Laura Malmivaara


Matleena Kuusniemi


Matleena Kuusniemi (deleted scenes)


Irina Bjorklund









Amazon Women on the Moon


Monique Gabrielle returns for a second straight day as the Time Machine lands in 1987 for Amazon Women On The Moon. Once again Monique parades around in the buff, she is a sight to behold.


Corinne Wahl plays a girl on the "Boob Tube" as a horny dude looks on.


B-movie legend Sybil Danning is here, however no nudity just some cleavage.


The late Lana Clarkson had a small role in this flick just before she did her nudity-filled epic "Barbarian Queen." Sadly she keeps her clothes on here.






Notes and collages

The World is Not Enough

  Denise Richards

Sophie Marceau 










Katherine Cunningham-Eves









Black Snake Moan

Rae (Christina Ricci) loses control after her boyfriend Ronnie (Justin Timberlake) leaves for Basic Training. Rae has a spiritual sickness that manifests itself as a destructive sexuality. It causes her to spontaneously masturbate in fields. It causes her to have sex with everyone in town. It causes her to drink and do drugs and pass out at parties, and wake up playing touch football dressed only in her underwear and shoulder pads.

Lazarus (Samuel Jackson), is a poor farmer and former blues musician whose wife has left him for his brother. One morning while taking out his garbage, he finds Rae, passed out, beaten, and in her underwear on his driveway. He undertakes to nurse her back to health, and then, as he says, "I aims to cure you of your wicked ways." He chains her inside his house so that her nymphomania doesn't tempt both her and himself.


Christina Ricci








A little more Runway Nudity

Carmen Kass
Karolina Kurkova
Marta Yaneva - full frontal and rear nudity in The Abandoned. (Film clip)

The latest collages from Dead Red

Phoebe Cates in Paradise
Amy Smart in Road Trip
Anna Falchi in SPQR
Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan
Mischa Barton just hanging around

The latest collages from Hugo

Beau Garrett in Turistas
Lucy Ramos in Turistas
Cameron Richarson in Open Water 2: Adrift
Greta Scacchi in The Coca-Cola Kid
Hilary Swank in The Black Dahlia
Mia Kirshner in Black Dahlia
Scarlett Johansson in Black Dahlia
Keira Knightley in Pirates 2
Rebecca Romijn in Man About Town






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

In a new USA Today/Gallup poll, the US military had the highest approval rating among Americans, with 69 percent having a "great deal" or "quite of lot" of confidence in the troops.  However, Congress has set a stunning new record by earning an approval rating of 14 percent, the lowest in the poll's 34-year history. This puts Congress far below President Bush's historically low approval rating, and even one point below the 15 percent approval rating of HMOs.     

*  Hell, even cancer has a 17 percent approval rating!

*  At least this gives Bush something to shoot for.

Scientists at a research awards event in Edinburgh, Scotland, defended ridiculous-sounding studies, saying that no assumption should go unproven and they further our understanding of wider issues.  For example, here are theories proven by researchers in the past year: Elephants don't like walking uphill, woodpeckers don't get headaches, women can remember flowers but can't read maps, women don't go for men with squeaky voices when they are looking for mates, teenagers are sulky because their brains aren't fully developed yet, and women decide within 30 seconds of meeting a man whether he's worth dating. 

*  Or as soon as he says he's a woodpecker headache researcher, whichever comes first.