re: Teri Hatcher Chronology
The Heaven's Prisoners release date of May, 1996 is
misleading as the film was shown as a working project in
Variety in January, 1993 for Savoy Pictures.
In fact, after languishing on the shelf as a result of Savoy's
financial troubles, the film was finally sold to New Line
Cinema for release, thus the May, 1996 release date.
So Teri Hatcher was actually younger than generally accepted
when Heaven's Prisoners was made. I'll let you decide how
Teri's age here stacks up vis-a-vis her age when The Cool
Surface was made.
re: JLH's boobs
With all this talk about JLH not doing
a nude scene because she has a hit show and Teri Hatcher
looking good a few years ago and not now - can't we
talk these girls into posing naked for photos when they are
in their prime and selling them later when their careers
start to dive. When JLH is 40 and they aren't offering her
parts like they used to, why pose for Playboy then when you
could sell Playboy pics of yourself when you were 25-30.
Cindy Margolis is going to be in
Playboy now that she is 40 and I'm sure she will look great
but I think most of us would rather see pics of her from a
few years ago. She may have even been able to get more
money for them.
Tell Jennifer to get one of those great
Playboy photographers to take some great nude shots, then
lock them in a vault and sell them for a fortune in a few
Scoop's note: That actually makes a lot
of sense! On the other hand, I suppose stars like JLH don't
realize the inevitability of either a career collapse or wanting
to show off their beauty when they get a bit older. Not all of
them end up doing it, after all. I don't see Sarah Jessica Parker
rushing to do a Playboy layout now that she has passed the big
four-oh, and it seems to me that SJP is the career model for JLH,
for good or ill. I'd love to talk Love into modeling her
career after Kate Winslet or Emmanuelle Beart instead, or even
after Gretchen Mol, but it just ain't gonna happen.
To tell you the truth, I think it's just
fine if a shy actress keeps her clothes on. I can think of some
actresses who have left no doubt about how they feel. Alba has
basically said she'll never do nudity, end of story. So be it. But
JLH is kind of annoying because she keeps talking about doing (or
not doing) the topless scene. It seems that we've been printing
some discussion of this topic for something like seven years. She
almost seems to be using the possibility of a nude scene to
maximize her top-of-mind awareness, all the while having no
intention of actually doing one. At least that's the impression
re: Audrey Tautou
Hi, it's me again.
I worked on a scan of Audrey Tautou and cleaned it up
considerably (I think). When I saved it, I put my Frypan logo
on it since I had modified it so extensively (credit to the
original scanner of course, though the scanner was not
identified). Having done so, I am now questioning whether
putting my logo on the reworked scan is appropriate. What is
your take on this? Is this a no no? If it is, and you want to
use the image, take the logo off.
Let me know what you think
Scoop's note: What you did is OK, I
think. Nobody really laid claim to that picture. There are no hard
and fast rules but in general, if you want to be extra-cautious,
don't use your logo unless you do both the scan/capture work and
The Sisters (2006)
Just a week ago I told Tuna that I had never seen this film,
and never would. I finally broke down and watched it because
several people said the nudity was Elizabeth Banks and several
others were equally convinced that it was Maria Bello. As it turns
out, it was Bello! LC's original identification was 100% correct.
It is no simple task to adapt Chekhov's plays to modern settings. I
think I can illustrate this point most easily by getting directly to
the task at hand. Here is the conclusion to The Three Sisters:
(The three sisters stand close together supporting each
MASHA. Listen, how the music is playing! They are going away from
us, one of them has already gone, gone forever, and we are left here
alone to start our lives again. We must go on living… We must go on
IRINA. (Leans her head on Olga's breast.) The time will
come, and everyone will know the meaning of all this, why there is
all this suffering, and there won't be any mysteries, but meanwhile,
we must go on living… we must work, we must work! Tomorrow I will
leave on my own, I will teach in a school and I'll give all my life
to those perhaps who need it. It's already autumn, soon it will be
winter, the snow will fall, but I will be working, I will go on
OLGA. (Embraces both sisters.) The music is playing so
cheerfully, it's so full of high spirits that one wants to stay
alive. Oh God, Oh God! The time will come when we will be gone
forever, we will be forgotten, our faces, our voices, and even how
many of us there were. But our suffering will be transformed into
happiness for those who live after us, peace and contentment will
cover the earth, and they will remember and bless with kind words
all those who live now. My dearest, dearest sisters, our life is
still not finished. We will go on living. The music is playing so
happily, so cheerfully, that it seems, in just a little time, we
will know why we live, and why there is all this suffering… If only
we could know! If only we could know!
(The music becomes quieter and quieter; Kulygin, smiling and
happy, brings Masha's hat and shawl; Andrey wheels out the pram with
Bobik sitting in it.)
CHEBUTYKIN. (Sings quietly.) Ta-ra-ra boom-de-boom, I sat
upon a stone… (Reads the paper.) It doesn't matter! It
OLGA. If only we could know! If only we could know!
Be advised that there are some very long
monologues earlier in the play which make the speeches above seem like
Lee Marvin quotes. Now place yourself in the position of one who will
create a modern interpretation on film. How will you go about it?
After all, your first responsibility is to create credible characters
and, well, let's face it, people don't talk like that. I don't know if
people talked like that in Chekhov's time either, but the point is
that his audiences accepted characters who spoke in such a manner.
Critics did not ridicule him for his ridiculous dialogue. In fact,
quite the opposite is true! Chekhov is considered a modernist who
helped the great Stanislavsky, inventor of the modern acting style, to
create a more realistic style of drama, with fewer stylized
conventions, and with "natural acting" - absent the traditional
rhetorical style of speechifying on stage. Chekhov wrote this play
especially for Stanislavsky's troupe.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. If this was the modern, natural
stuff, what must the old-fashioned material have been like?
Oh, well, that doesn't concern us today. What
does concern us is how a modern screenwriter can take dialogue like
the lines above and present it so that modern audiences can relate to
it as the interaction of contemporary people. The first decision that
must be made is the nature of the prospective audience. Will it
consist only of the most educated 5% of the population - the same
group that could relate to it in Chekhov's day - or will it consist of
mainstream filmgoers? In creating The Sisters, the
playwright/screenwriter Richard Alfieri didn't seem to have this
matter resolved in his own head. The characters often prattle on like
overeducated dullards, the sorts of people who were never the
brightest in their peer groups, and thus had to try extra hard to
flaunt erudition and to take an arrogant attitude toward those with
less education. The high-falutin' hostile banter is the sort of
material which might be targeted directly at the Masterpiece Theater
crowd, but the things they discuss are strictly dragged out of the
Lifetime Network, slathered with a triple layer of melodrama, and
aimed directly at the crowd which watches their soap operas with a few
Is it supposed to be a film for the few or a
film for the many?
Your guess is as good
as mine, but it ended up a film for the very few, because a
good percentage of the few people who would be interested in a
modern-day setting of The Three Sisters will be appalled by the
fact that they seem to be watching The Young and the Restless
with more hostile and flowery speeches. Chekhov's story
of failed marriages, unfulfilled yearnings, and the winter ennui
of the bourgeoisie gets a fresh injection of crystal meth
addiction, unfulfilled lesbian romance, and father-daughter
incest, added at the rate of one major tragedy per sister.
Despite the story's tendency toward melodrama, I think it still
might have worked if it had not drifted so far toward rhetoric
and affectation. I think Tuna hit the nail right on the head in
his comment that it is like a hyper-version of Who's Afraid of
Virginia Woolf with dozens of Martha and George clones
sharpening their verbal claws and ripping each other apart.
The film has some good moments.
It gripped me when the middle sister's true love had to return to his
wife and kids, and I thought their farewell scene was played
beautifully by Tony Goldwyn and Maria Bello. I enjoyed Rip Torn's
interpretation of the kindly old drunken English Professor, partly
because Torn inserted some notes of civility and human decency in an
otherwise corrosive environment, and mostly because I found him to be
the one believable character, even if his accent did keep disappearing
Overall, it is
trapped in multiple limbos: the limbo between great drama and tawdry
melodrama, and the limbo between conventionalized 19th century theater
and modern day screen realism. I can't really recommend it to anyone.
The black bunting of mourning has been removed
from the Arc de Triomphe ...
Jerry Lewis is home from
"Wade's World: Finals MVP
leads Heat to first title in team history"
The Summer Solstice
Sunrise at Stonehenge
(That's easy for you to say.)
What is the gayest
rock video of all time? I'm not sure, but you
have to see this one to believe it:
Sex Over The Phone by The
Church of Scientology
... "copyrighted and trade secret scriptures"
"Top Ten Things That Went
Through Geoff Ogilvy's Mind After Winning The
Angelina Jolie says she
and Brad Pitt plan to adopt every child in the
world until they find the one who swallowed
the treasure map.
A Littel Lingerie
the Cell Phone Garter.
- Damn - that's why I
hear music between a woman's thighs. It's a
Exclusive Inside Look at
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Tony Snow's Headline
Is the romantic drama
- "We've gotten in a
period where it's popular to be cynical and
- My thoughts: as
long as we have 13-year-old girls, there
will always be a market for romantic dramas
and Degas prints.
"BRAD PITT TO GET DENTAL
CHECKUP IN NAMIBIA"
... X-Rays to Be Sold for Charity
- Mr. Pitt decided to
have his teeth cleaned in Namibia because
the Namibian government afforded the actor a
higher level of security than the U.S.
government was willing to offer. “Namibia is
willing to seal its borders for the entire
duration of Brad’s dental visit,” Ms. Foyler
said. “The U.S. was not.”
FBI shadowed playwright
Arthur Miller in the Red Scare days
ComingSoon.net - The
Weekend Warrior's box office predictions
- He feels that the
new Adam Sandler film will completely rule
the weekend, grossing as much as the next
three films added together.
- His top twelve
would theoretically finish at about $126.5m,
about 11% higher than last year,
approximately consistent with the results of
the previous four weeks.
Do you have a spare $25
million? You can buy Hulk Hogan's house.
- Or for $14,000 you
can buy The Iron Sheik's trailer.
Huge Ball Installment -
Mighty Optical Illusions
The webmaster of
Something Awful has volunteered to get the
snot kicked out of him by Uwe Boll!
This is Connie Chung's
bizarre off-key farewell to MSNBC
- Singing and body
movements that would embarrass Bill Shatner!
The 15 People You Meet
Listening To DVD Audio Commentaries
Lara Flynn Boyle
New Superman movie
dazzles critics in first reviews
- 'Superman Returns,'
which opens in the United States next week,
is receiving knock-out first reviews from
critics, with newcomer Brandon Routh tipped
to win over audiences as the latest
crime-fighting 'Man of Steel.'
Folgers Coffee has
apparently decided that its target consumer is
gay. And not,
like subtle gay, but like Liberace gay.
This is an actual
headline from The Advocate, which is a
distinguished magazine dealing with gay
"How gay is Superman?"
- Well, I did see him
drinking some Folger's Coffee, if that means
Dick Pound attacks
independent review that pictured him as a lyin'
- Gee, who could have
guessed? Silly me. I really thought that
Pound would admit all of his lies and crimes
instead of telling more lies and making more
wild accusations to cover them up. I guess I
just don't understand human nature.
A Blackadder Movie: Dare
What turns a movie into a
The trailer for In the
Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
, Uwe Boll's latest
game-to-screen classic. As always, the
dialogue is cut-and-paste "knight and castle"
material. The king, by the way, is played by
ol' Gator McClusky his ownself.
NAMED AL-QAEDA'S EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
... "Terrorist Worked Well With Others, Kept
Work Area Clean, Says Bin Laden"
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Erotic Agent (2003)
Quest of the Sex: Rumble in the Women's Empire (2003) is a Hong Kong
Category III costumer, and, I assume, intentionally a comedy. The Fairy West
is traveling on a mission to retrieve a sacred book with her two disciples,
Pig and Sun. Pig is perpetually in heat, but Sun is more spiritual, if a
little high-strung. Fortunately for Pig, they must travel through the Kingdom
of Women to get where they are going, and must get permission to pass as well.
Pig happily fornicates nearly non-stop, blissfully unaware of the danger they
are in. Queen Gold is in a battle with her sister, Silver, for control. Fairy
West is the balance of power, it seems, as drinking her vaginal secretions
will make the carpet muncher immortal and very powerful. Just in case I have
not done a good job on the plot here, I will share the official synopsis with
you to make everything perfectly clear.
West, her students Suen and Chu have to pass through Women's Empire and
visit the King, Kam. Kam's sister Ann knew if suck the horny water from West
would become powerful. Ann told West try to rape her and put them in the
jail. Kam offer to set them free, but West have to marry her. West agrees
about that, in fact they want to escape in the mess. When they escape, Ann
kidnaps West and sucks her horny water. It makes Ann become powerful, West
have sex with Suen, Suen become powerful and fight with Ann. Finally, Suen...
Unfortunately, there is little available on line about this film, and I was
only able to identify Silver, who was played by well endowed and all natural
Sophie Ngan. Sophie shows breasts and bush. Several other women show body
parts. IN fact, the movie is nearly non-stop simulated sex, both guy/girl and
There is good news on the flubtitle front.
This must be why so many oriental women have small breasts.
What follows, believe it or not, is describing a hand job.
For those who plan on investigating these films, let me help you all with a
first course in subtitle translation.
"It is comfortable" means "That feels so good. Do it like that."
"Oh. You are great" means "You are awesome."
"It is bad." means "I have really bad news for you."
"I must beat you" means, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
Save these, there will be a pop quiz later.
It is almost as if these newer Hong Kong films have been heavily influenced
by US soft core. There is just enough cultural difference remaining to make
them a little unique.Given that the video quality was not very good and the
plot was not quite adequate to carry the running time, I can't give this more
than a D. However, Sophie Ngan is always worth a look.
IMDb has not heard of this one.
Dann reports on Shadow Man:
The top graduate of the Chuck Norris school of deadpan acting is back with
a new 2006 Direct-to-Video spy thriller, and it is not too bad, especially
compared to some of his recent disasters.
Steven Seagal plays an ex-CIA agent who
lost his wife a year earlier, and got out of the spy game. He and his
young daughter go on a vacation in Romania, where they are to meet his
father-in-law who is there on business.
While everyone is meeting at the hotel,
the father-in-law is crispy-crittered by a car bomb, and the daughter is
snatched. No, this wasn't enough to make Seagal change expression, but he
did get pissed. You could tell, because he raised his voice (kinda).
A decent spy vs. spy thriller, with some
good action reminiscent of early Seagal movies, and a twisty if
predictable ending, make this one of Seagal's better recent efforts.
Today, from "Sexy Movie," we have Katie Lohman. Katie has a body to die for
and she has no problem showing it all off. She had only one scene in the
movie, but it was a dandy.
LC is back with some more fresh material. Corina Toader in Shadow Man
more from LC: Charlotte Sullivan in Population 436
more from LC: Robin Weigert in Deadwood (season 3, episode 2)
more from LC: Hannah Whalley in Haunted Boat
Here is one more zipped .avi of a sexy scene with
Melanie Griffith. This time it is
housecleaning in Working Girl.
Pat's comments in yellow...
Massachusetts State Senator Jarrett T. Barrios touched off a controversy by
trying to regulate fluffernutters. Barrios was outraged when he discovered his
son's school lets kids have the popular New England treat, a peanut butter and
marshmallow fluff sandwich, any day they want. So he attached an amendment to a
school nutrition bill severely limiting the serving of fluff in
schools. But even some nutritionists think regulating fluff is silly. And Don
Durkee, president of the local company that makes marshmallow fluff, said he's
eaten it all his life and he's 80.
* When most people hear he wants to ban fluffernutters,
they assume it's some kind of anti-porn bill.
Angelina Jolie told CNN that she and Brad Pitt plan to adopt more children, but
in a gender and ethnic mix to "balance" their current brood of one natural
child, an adopted Asian boy, Maddox, and an adopted African girl, Zahara. She
said, "We don't know which country, but we're looking at different
countries...It's gonna be the balance of what would be the best for Mad and for
Z right now. It's, you know, another boy, another girl, which country, which
race would fit best with the kids."
* She might have to consult a good decorator.
* We used to all be God's children; but eventually, we'll all be Angelina
Police in Tucson, Arizona, raided a home that contained 220 bails of
marijuana, about two tons worth; so much that the cops could smell it in
the air as soon as they entered the block
* That block
is also home to America's most profitable Krispy Kreme franchise.