Reno 911: Miami

The inept Reno cops (as seen in their Comedy Central TV show) are attending a police convention in Miami, and their reservations have been misplaced, forcing them to stay in a run-down motel in a decaying part of town. This turns out to be serendipitous when a terrorist attack on the police convention forces every other law enforcement officer, including the entire Miami police force, to be quarantined in the convention center. The Reno team is immediately pressed into service in Miami, and only our eight idiots stand between civilization and chaos.

I'm not really sure how to review a film like this. It's really just an extended TV episode. It's only about an hour long between the credits - and that's the unrated version. Cut out the raunch, and there isn't much left. Maybe that's good because it keeps the film from dragging too much. Only a few scenes are laugh-out-loud funny, including a good cameo by The Rock as the baddest-ass cop ever. Many of the bits go on too long either setting up a punch line or waiting for one that never seems to arrive.

If not you're a fan of the show (I've never see it), it's an hour of raunchy, low-brow humor with enough gags to avoid wearing out its welcome. I won't watch it again, but found it a decent time-killer.

 

The nudity is as follows:

• Kathryn Smith plays a jello wrestler

• Irina Voronina plays a Russian model on a topless beach. (Where our gang has to deal with a huge beached whale.) It wasn't a tough job for her since she is a Russian model, and she delivered all of her lines in Russian.

• Mary Castro plays a random naked woman having sex. (It's a long "mistaken identity" gag which is played on the audience.)

 

Refinements in Love

Refinements In Love (1971) is a hardcore effort from Carlos Tobalina that bills itself as a cross between the Mondo films, I am Curious Yellow, and hardcore. I see nothing in common with the Mondo films or the I am Curious films. Actually, it is a series of hardcore scenes tied together and justified by the "redeeming social importance" of a mockumentary about changing sexual mores which zeroed in on the hypocrisy of then-president Richard Nixon.

Some years earlier, Lyndon Johnson had commissioned a panel of 18 to study pornography and its effects on society, and to recommend appropriate legislation. The report advised that all laws regulating pornography for adults be removed because the pornography was not only harmless to adults, but often strengthened marriages. The panel suggested that the government exercise no control of sexual-oriented material other than to restrict the public display of certain kinds of porn, and to take steps to keep it from minors. The commission also strongly advocated detailed sex education for all school students.

By the time the majority report was ready, Nixon was in office. The lengthy report, which contained a great deal of research study data, was leaked to the press a few days before the official release, and the administration went postal. The Nixon camp tried to suppress the report, and then the President himself came out very strongly against it, declaring "I have evaluated that report and categorically reject its morally bankrupt conclusions and major recommendations." In other words, he made it clear that the "Dick" in "Tricky Dick" simply stood for "Richard."

The film, in a supposed interview, discusses the stupidity of Nixon's actions, and suggests that it was unscrupulous politicians, trying to excite the voting public by creating a threat to "American Values," who were the cause of the ridiculous moral restrictions and persecutions in the US. The film ends by zooming out from a contented post-coital couple, showing these words:

To which we would have responded, "Right on, brother. Power to the people." Years later, when the libertarian zeitgeist of the seventies had dissipated, President Reagan formed his own study group, the Meese Commission, which dutifully found porn harmful and proposed ways to combat it. "Wrong on, brother. Power back to The Man."

The politics are used to justify a rather routine sex film. Rene Bond, and several early porn actresses do show everything, and oral and vaginal sex is clearly shown, but the film stops shy of anything too kinky like money shots or anal. The best surprise for viewers is a scene with Rene Bond before her breast enhancement. I had previously thought her hard core career started after the boob job.

There was plenty of product placement, including baby oil, baby powder, cigarettes (the film was against them) and water beds. There was even a song about bouncing together on their water bed. The film was down on telemarketers, suggesting disconnecting the phone before sex. It advocated getting medical help if necessary to improve your sex life, but cautioned against quacks, giving the example of a doctor who "uses his body as a tool" to give his nympho patient her first real climax and cure her. 

The original was not in good shape, but the DVD producers did the best they could to remaster it, resulting in a watchable transfer. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do to change the fact that this was not a good hardcore sex film to begin with, and the redeeming social merit is not strong enough to recommend it. As a movie it is a D- on our scale.

However, it was of great interest to me as a time capsule, reminding me of long-forgotten attitudes and events. In that light, it excels, and is a welcome addition to my collection. As a time capsule, call it an enthusiastic C+.

No score at IMDb

Rene Bond

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