The inept Reno cops (as seen in their Comedy Central TV show)
are attending a police convention in Miami, and their reservations have been
misplaced, forcing them to stay in a run-down motel in a decaying part of town.
This turns out to be serendipitous when a terrorist attack on the police
convention forces every other law enforcement officer, including the entire
Miami police force, to be quarantined in the convention center. The Reno team
is immediately pressed into service in Miami, and only our eight idiots stand
between civilization and chaos.
I'm not really sure how to review a film like this. It's
really just an extended TV episode. It's only about an hour long between the
credits - and that's the unrated version. Cut out the raunch, and there
isn't much left. Maybe that's good because it keeps the film from dragging
too much. Only a few scenes are laugh-out-loud funny, including a good cameo
by The Rock as the baddest-ass cop ever. Many of the bits go on too long
either setting up a punch line or waiting for one that never seems to
If not you're a fan of the show (I've never see it), it's an
hour of raunchy, low-brow humor with enough gags to avoid wearing out its
welcome. I won't watch it again, but found it a decent time-killer.
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
Refinements in Love
Refinements In Love (1971) is a hardcore effort from Carlos Tobalina that
bills itself as a cross between the Mondo films, I am Curious Yellow, and hardcore. I see nothing in common with the Mondo films or the I am Curious
films. Actually, it is a series of hardcore scenes tied together and justified
by the "redeeming social importance" of a mockumentary about changing sexual
mores which zeroed in on the hypocrisy of then-president Richard Nixon.
Some years earlier, Lyndon Johnson had commissioned a panel of 18 to study
pornography and its effects on society, and to recommend appropriate
report advised that all laws regulating pornography for adults be removed
because the pornography was not only harmless to adults, but often strengthened
marriages. The panel suggested that the government exercise no control of
sexual-oriented material other than to restrict the public display of certain
kinds of porn, and to take steps to keep it from minors. The commission also
strongly advocated detailed sex education for all school students.
By the time the majority report was ready, Nixon was in office. The lengthy
report, which contained a great deal of research study data, was leaked to the
press a few days before the official release, and the administration went
postal. The Nixon camp tried to suppress the report, and then the President
himself came out
very strongly against it, declaring "I have evaluated that report and
categorically reject its morally bankrupt conclusions and major
recommendations." In other words, he made it clear that the "Dick" in
"Tricky Dick" simply stood for "Richard."
The film, in a supposed interview, discusses the stupidity of Nixon's
actions, and suggests that it was unscrupulous politicians, trying to excite the
voting public by creating a threat to "American Values," who were the cause of
the ridiculous moral restrictions and persecutions in the US. The film ends by
zooming out from a contented post-coital couple, showing these words:
To which we would have responded, "Right on, brother. Power to the people." Years later, when the libertarian zeitgeist of the seventies had dissipated,
President Reagan formed his own study group, the Meese Commission, which
dutifully found porn harmful and proposed ways to combat it. "Wrong on, brother.
Power back to The Man."
The politics are used to justify a rather routine sex film. Rene Bond, and
several early porn actresses do show everything, and oral and vaginal sex is
clearly shown, but the film stops shy of anything too kinky like money shots or
anal. The best surprise for viewers is a scene with Rene Bond before
her breast enhancement. I had previously thought her hard core career started
after the boob job.
There was plenty of product placement, including baby oil, baby powder,
cigarettes (the film was against them) and water beds. There was even a song
about bouncing together on their water bed. The film was down on telemarketers,
suggesting disconnecting the phone before sex. It advocated getting medical help
if necessary to improve your sex life, but cautioned against quacks, giving the
example of a doctor who "uses his body as a tool" to give his nympho patient her
first real climax and cure her.
The original was not in good shape, but the DVD producers did the best they
could to remaster it, resulting in a watchable transfer. Unfortunately, there
was nothing they could do to change the fact that this was not a good hardcore sex film to begin with, and the
redeeming social merit is not strong enough to recommend it. As a movie it is a
D- on our scale.
However, it was of great interest to me as a time capsule, reminding me of
long-forgotten attitudes and events. In that light, it excels, and is a welcome
addition to my collection. As a time capsule, call it an enthusiastic C+.
No score at IMDb
The Time Machine travels to 1984 for a comedy classic ...
Angela Aames kicks it off with some mighty impressive cleavage in a very funny scene.
Talk about impressive, Monique Gabrielle is awesome in all her full frontal glory.
Tawny Kitaen was the star and did not get naked, but still a very sexy chick.
Notes and collages
La Vida Abismal
Valencia, 1972. Ferran es un joven de veintiún años sin perspectivas en
la vida. Está obligado a vivir con sus padres, pero exige un espacio
propio al margen de la mediocridad familiar. Así que se instala en un
antiguo gallinero de la casa. Su vida gris consiste en malvivir de algunos
trabajos esporádicos. Todo cambia cuando conoce a 'El Chino', un jugador
de cartas que le descubre cómo sobrevivir fugazmente en el abismo.
Valencia, 1972. Ferran is twenty one years old and lacks both prospects
and perspective. He is forced to live with his parents, but demands his
own space to escape the mediocrity of his family life. He settles down in
their old chicken coop.
He merely endures his gray life and his sporadic employment until he
meets "The Chinaman," a card player who teaches him how to spice up "the
abysmal life" with the excitement of gambling. Ferran eventually movies on
from card games to Russian Roulette.
Me da igual (I don't care)
Jorge (Alejandro Cano) is writing his up-and-coming novel, and has to put up with his roommate Marta (Maria Jurado) who
always has someone over (boy or girl, she doesn't care) and moans all night long driving him crazy.
Not only that she is not shy at all and walks around him in her birthday
Jorge is not worried that he's gay he is "worried he might START to like men." Alberto, a gay friend of a friend unlocks that angst
trying to seduce him. Marta then moves with Mario, a coke-snorting,
violently abusive man, who is charming at first, with dreams of a happy
marriage and a fulfilling life together. Becoming a battered-wife, Marta watches her life dissolve around her, having to wear shawls to cover bruises.
Alberto discovers he has AIDS and Jorge's ex, Eva, pops up, trying to incorporate Jorge back into her life. As some sort of social-trigger, Jorge helps his friends to overcome their problems
and ultimately come out shining.
Maria Jurado is drop-dead stunning, she has a great body and since this is a Spanish movie, we get to see every inch of it. Viva España!
I also want to congratulate the best soccer team in history, Real Madrid, for winning their 30th Spanish league last Sunday. Hala Madrid!
The movie itself is an Italian-made 1994 comedy with the usual assortment of
international stars, including Leslie Nielsen.
(In the past, most Italian
films have been recorded without live sound, then dubbed into various languages.
This is true even with the great Italian directors like Fellini. People
generally speak their own languages during filming, but it doesn't really matter
what they say, since it is not being recorded. The primary language of
commercial Italian films is really English, since the English-language market is
the largest one. Some Italian actors have even complained that they have been
forced to speak phonetic English in Italian movies instead of Italian - even
when they can't speak a word of English! The logic behind it? It makes it easier
for the professional voice talent to dub the film into English if the actors'
lips are making the correct movements!)
If you're curious about seeing Frank Drebbin / Enrico Palazzo in Italian,
here's the Italian-language trailer.
The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
In Landshut, Germany, a 17-year-old hospital patient who was recovering from a
car crash unplugged his roommate's life support machine because it was keeping
him awake. Luckily, the nursing staff rushed in and reconnected it. The teen
told police the machine's pinging was getting on his nerves and he wanted some
peace and quiet.
* Just that guy's luck; he's put with the one teenager
who likes peace and quiet.
Tuesdsay, New York's state Assembly approved a bill to legalize gay marriage,
but it's not expected to get through the Republican-led Senate.
* Unless it sneaks in through the back door.
Airbus reports that someone whose identity they won't reveal has ordered the
world's largest plane, the 840-passenger A380, as a private jet for the buyer's
*It can't be John Travolta: he already owns one, and he
flies it solo to global warming rallies.