Morgana (1995), aka Blonde Heaven, stars Julie Strain as the queen of a coven of vampires in the not too distant future, who operate out of an escort service called Blonde Heaven. Raelyn Saalman comes to LA from Oklahoma wanting to make it in show business. GBecause she looks exactly like Strain's long dead girlfriend, Strain sets about to seduce her. She also has to contend with her hick boyfriend who wants Raelyn to come back to Oklahoma.

This is a very bad film, but don't take my word for it. Here are a sampling of comments from IMDb

"Who thought this movie deserved the DVD treatment after 6 years of late-night cable obscurity? OK ­ it stars Julie Strain. But she isn't even in "Morgana" that much. Instead, the filmmakers took a gamble on giving more limelight to newcomer Raelyn Saalman (who really shouldn't be in these kinds of movies, IMO)."

"An horrible skin film, void of any redeeming value,"

"David DeCoteau isn't known as one of the great B-movie directors but he sunk beneath his own lowest levels with this one."

"Tons of fake boobs can't even save this movie."

"I thought this would be a good movie, but it ended up sucking at the end (literally!)"

"Wow...this was a dumb movie. Now to be fair, my expectations are never high when I am preparing to watch an erotic thriller, but this was lame even compared to most films in this genre. The plot is practically nonexistent, and what little story there is happens to be painfully bad."

Strain shows breasts and buns and a hint of bush. Saalman shows everything. Several other women briefly show breasts in bad light, and usually not with a face visible in frame, so I restricted the images to Strain and Saalman. IMDb readers have this at 3.3. Ideas in the beginning of the film were never developed, that had very lame justification for the liberties they took with vampire lore (modern vampires wear sun block, which allows them to go out in the daylight, and reflects in mirrors), and both Saalman and her hick boyfriend gave impossibly bad performances. Large chunks of the already short running time were taken up with Saalman modeling clothes and dancing. This is a clear F.

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  • Julie Strain (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Raelyn Saalman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)


    Songwriter (1984) seems to be a forgotten film, and I have no idea why. There are only 72 votes at IMDb, but all of those who commented adored the film. It is sitting at 5.5. Considering that it was nominated for an Oscar for best score, it must have had some theatrical release in the US, but IMDb has no information about one.

    Willie Nelson (Doc Jenkins) and Kris Kristofferson (Blackie Buck) are semi-popular country stars. They started off with a trio, which included Melinda Dillon (Honey Corder), but she left the group when she married Doc and had two kids. Not long after, she left Doc. A few years later, Doc suddenly realized that artists and songwriters were all starving, while music executives were rolling in dough, so he decided to become a promoter. He partnered with Rodeo Rocky, a first class sleaze. He shook on an agreement where he would provide the talent, Rodeo Rocky would provide the cash, and they would split the profits 50/50. The agreement he signed, however, had Rodeo Rocky owning him lock, stock and barrel, so Nelson quit writing songs, or, at least, admitting that he was writing.

    When he realized that Honey was actually the love of his life, he wanted to make a last score and move back to Austin, and a talented by alcoholic singer named Gilda (Lesley Ann Warren) became part of his plan. Most of the film is about how Nelson and Kristofferson try to beat Rodeo Rocky. They enlist the aid of a sleazy promoter, played brilliantly by Rip Torn,, in the effort.

    The entire score was written by Nelson and Kristofferson, and it is excellent country, performed very well. Both show an ability to act, and this portrait of the music business includes many colorful characters, making it a joy start to finish. Why nobody saw this film is a mystery, but it must not have been promoted. Perhaps it was decided that 1984 was not a good year for country. Sage Parker, as Rip Torn's wife, shows breasts briefly when he catches her in bed with a musician. Christie Carafano also shows breasts in bed with Kristofferson. This is a must see for fans of either Nelson or Kristofferson, country music aficionados, and anyone interested in a behind the scenes look at the music business. This is a C.

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  • Christie Carafano (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Sage Parker (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    The "Jenna Lewis sex tape".

    The Kathy Shower tribute will resume tomorrow.  This is obviously the current topical item.

    Info about Jenna from the Survivor All Stars site

    Shiloh's comments:

    "The Jenna Lewis vid (Jenna Lewis Wedding Night Video) is at alt.binaries.multimedia.nude.celebrities. My caps cover 36:09 of the 42:09 vid."

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) BJ, no female nudity

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) BJ, no female nudity

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) BJ, no female nudity

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) intercourse, mostly guy on top

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) intercourse, woman on top, seen from behind

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) intercourse, woman on top, camera by their heads

    • Jenna Lewis. (.avi) (.wmv) intercourse, doggie style, and the grand finale


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.


    The Terminal (2004)

    In the silly parade of summer flicks, we search for the few shiny bright spots that might come our way.  “The Terminal” is such a gem. Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg team once again to bring us first class entertainment.  Hanks brings us one of his best performances and Spielberg shows us his versatility in this finely honed comedy.  In a season of movie special effects overload, we welcome this most human and character driven story.

    Viktor Navorski, played by Hanks, is a man without a country or a passport, trapped in JFK Airport until further notice.  He knows very little English and has no money.  The only thing to do is to set about establishing a resourceful and enduring survival.  The film is not driven by the story line, but by the performance of Tom Hanks. 

    Tom Hanks builds Viktor Navorski with a true character actor’s dedication.  The Baltic accent is precise but it is not played for laughs.  The accent is part of Viktor and the laughs come separately, surprisingly and often.  The character is simple and therefore complicated.  To the dismay of Viktor’s detractors, what they see is what they get.  To the wonder of Viktor’s friends, what they see is what they get.  Then, just as we begin to like Viktor too much, Hanks shows us Viktor’s crusty elements.  The temptation to go overboard is held in check at the right moments and the actor’s subtly precise shuffle, shrug or expression tells us that he is indeed Viktor Navorski.

    Stanley Tucci does a fine job of turning the thankless role of the officious Customs inspector into a human being we may have met somewhere before.  In a role which could easily have been portrayed as a one-dimensional, overbearing martinet, Tucci creates a character study. 

    Catherine Zeta-Jones is Amelia, an eighteen year veteran flight attendant.  Her extraneous character contributes virtually nothing to the plot and her morally confused character contributes virtuously nothing to Viktor.  But we are glad to see her for obvious reasons.  She is the only female in what would otherwise be an almost all male cast.  She also is the script's key to establishing Viktor’s vulnerability.

    The supporting roles are cast well, and an over-the-top performance by Kumar Pallana as the janitor is particularly welcome.


    And Toto, too?  There is a storm brewing in Viktor’s homeland.  He boards a Boeing 747 and flies somewhere over the rainbow to JFK Airport, in the land of Oz.  At JFK, he immediately encounters the wicked witch in the form of a customs official.  The official can’t harm Viktor, but he can confine him to the terminal and cause our traveler trouble.  Viktor is welcomed by the Munchkin employees of the terminal and they set about helping him get to Manhattan, the Emerald City.  Along the way, he befriends a janitor who lacks courage, a food worker who needs a heart, and a baggage handler who could use a brain or two.  (There is no singing.)  Viktor and friends dodge the natural pitfalls of the terminal and are frequently besieged by the wicked witch who launches various attacks from his administrative castle high on the second floor.  With the help of his friends, Viktor at last reaches the Emerald City and is blessed by the wizard.  The three friends learn the only way to true happiness is for each of them to confront and conquer his own problem.  The storm is over in Viktor’s native land and he once again boards a 747 because, after all, there is no place like home.

    end SPOILER

    The movie making team of Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg has conquered both ends of the spectrum - from “Saving Private Ryan” to “The Terminal”. In a surgically fine performance by Hanks and restrained direction from Spielberg, we can find joy in this summer cinema fare.   

    “The Terminal” is awarded an ear-to-ear three and a half Milk Duds.

    Crimson Ghost
    Today the Ghost has 'caps and clips of Susan Featherly and porn star Gina Ryder in scenes from an episode of the Skinemax series "The Best Sex Ever"

    • Susan Featherly, the tall blonde Skinemax babe shows off a wonderful pair of natural breasts.
      (1, 2, 3)
    • Susan Featherly .wmvs (1, 2)

    • Susan Featherly and Gina Ryder get it on in lesbo style.
      (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Susan Featherly and Gina Ryder .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

    • Gina Ryder...the very busy porn star has 113 movies under her belt since 1998 and is still going strong! Here she is taking a soft core time out. Mostly robo-hooters in these 'caps, but we do see some pubes in links 2 and 3.
      (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Gina Ryder .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Here are some bonus HARDCORE .wmvs of Gina Ryder in action (not sure of the movie). Fair warning, these clips feature Ryder doing an anal scene, so they may not be for everyone.
      (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Naked Josh"
    Another "sexpert" comedy on Showcase this time uncut unlike the Oxygen Network. The first episode "Sexual Contract" has two loud sex scenes that were obviously removed foir the Monoxide Network.

    "Show Me Yours: episode War & Peace"
    The show officially jumped the shark for showing recycled skin and having an interviewee who pumps porpoises.

    "11th Hour: episode Cowboy"
    Second season opener with lost of gratuitous nudity.

    "Alienated: second season finale"
    Sarah Jane Redmond gives birth to an alien baby.

    "Sleep Murder"
    Movie of the week starring Jason Priestley.

    "Short for Nothing"
    Movie about a bunch of waitresses doing the auditioning game.

    "Westworld" (1973)
    Classic sci-fi featuring the first fully functional female robot to appear in a Hollywood movie.

    • Linda Scott: cleavage and bare back making whoopee as robot.

    Jenna Lewis In case you didn't check out Shiloh's clips of the Survivor babe's 40 minute sex ya go, a few 'caps featuring her full frontal and with some gelatinous goo on her chest.
    Victoria Beckham
    (1, 2, 3)

    Posh Spice showing some serious pokies while out and about.

    Paris and Nicole
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Paris Hilton
    (1, 2, 3)

    Nicole Richie
    (1, 2)

    Excellent high quality production stills from "The Simple Life 2". Paris shows the most skin, and looks especially good in Paris link #1 and Paris and Nicole links 1,3 and 7.