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Tuna
"Vampirella"

Vampirella (1996 video) Is a comic book film that shows the origins of vampires. Seems the entire earth cult was started by a renegade prison and his gang from Vampiros. They were deviants, who bit people and sucked their blood, whereas normal residents of the planet drank the blood that flowed in natural rivers there. They killed the leader when they escaped, and his daughter, Ella, followed, but crashed on Mars, where she was stuck for centuries. A space shuttle mission rescued her, and brought her to Earth. Meanwhile, Vlad and his gang had suffered mutation on their voyage, and became allergic to light, wooden stakes, and religious relics and icons, and their bite no longer killed people, it turned them into vampires.

Meanwhile. there is a group of mercenaries who are battling the international vampire brotherhood, led by Richard Joseph Paul. Ella, played by Talisa Soto, is dubbed Vampirella, and teams with Paul to fight Vlad (Roger Daltrey) and his group, who are planning global domination. Soto wears a red vinyl superhero suite that only covers the essentials. Two female vampires show breasts, HEFer of the Month August 1991 Corinna Harney and Peggy Trentini. IMDB readers have this at 3.8 of 10. Most of the MDB comments are hyper-critical, and I have to face the fact that I am no judge of comic book bad movies. As you recall, I was the only living human who was entertained by Supergirl, and I was also entertained by this one. Sure, it was low budget. Sure, it was over the top. Of course the film was full of holes. That is part of the fun of a true B movie. C.

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  • Corina Harney (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Peggy Trentini (1, 2, 3)
  • Talisa Soto (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Enigma"

    Enigma (1982) is a joint French British production shot in France, with a story that takes place in East Germany. It is currently only available to purchase from Germany on both VHS and DVD. I saw this in the US on VHS years ago, so it might be floating around some rental stores. It is a great espionage thriller, as well as a good love story. Martin Sheen stars as Alex Holbeck, excaped East German dissident who has his own free radio broadcast in Paris to expose the evils in the East German system. He is approached by the CIA, and asked to go to East Germany and steal an Enigma decoder card. Seems the Germans are planning on killing 5 dissidents all over the world on Christmas morning, and the CIA needs to prevent it, but the Russians think the Americans have an Enigma decoder, so have stopped using the device. Sheen is sent in to get one.

    Sheen's main contact is his old East German girlfriend (Brigitte Fossey) and daughter of an imprisoned professor. He recruits her to seduce the Russian KGB officer who was sent to catch him, Sam Neill. Shen is a master of disguise, and knows his way around East Germany, so he manages to stay a step ahead of the Russian's and the East German police. Things get more interesting when Fossey starts to fall for the Russian. Any more would be a total spoiler.

    Fossey shows everything, including full-frontal, early in the film when she is arrested and interrogated. The ending is a wonderful and ironic twist, and the resolution to the love story is touching. IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10, and there are no reviews available. I bought into both stories, and loved the performances by the leads. The plot never quite went where I expected and kept me guessing. This German DVD is a decent 4/3 transfer with both German and Original English sound tracks, and little in the way of special features. High C+.

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  • Brigitte Fossey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    More Multi-DVD region info

    Format Conversion and Region Free Players

    Many DVD players can be made to handle any Region, usually using secret commands, available on the Web, from the remote. NOTE: Sony is an exception to the above, and most models can't be made Region Free this way. The issue of format conversion is a little more complex. Most European players handle both NTSC and PAL, but only a few American models do. The following are key points to look for:

    1) Input Power. The good units handle 110 and 220 Volts and 50 and 60 Hz.
    2) Region Free
    3) Macrovision Free
    4) PAL/NTSC conversion
    5) Proper handling of Anamorphic PAL conversion to NTSC on normal televisions.

    Number 5 is the hard one to get. If the unit you choose doesn't support this, then any Anamorphic PALs you watch on NTSC TV will be squeezed in from the side. My research found two companies with this capability, Malata and the Conia DVD-M281. I was told by a major distributor that Malata has discontinued models that worked great, and their new line is not ready for prime time, so no Malata models that work are currently available. Based on that, I ordered a Conia DVD-M281 from a US source for $269.95, and should have it early next week. I will give a full report once I have tested it.

    >From what I understand, expensive stand-alone converters do not give any better performance on normal TV systems than built-in converters, and also don't solve the Region and Macrovision problems. Current wisdom says the best approach to high end home theater is a PC with a Geforce video card and TV out with a HDTV home theater system. Some people are selling special purpose computers to function as DVD players. Also note that none of this deals with the French SECAM video format.

    In summary, it looks like the only logical and affordable choice in the US for all region dual format is the Conia DVD-M281. The Phillips unit a reader recommended is only available in Australia, and the only on-line source I found does not ship to the US.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Movies:

    Three important movies today, but not a lot of nudity.

    1. A Beautiful Mind is the best picture winner. The other two are good if you like certain types of films.
    2. Shipping News will please you if you like films like Hotel New Hampshire, The Cider House Rules, and Garp.
    3. The Majestic is your type of movie if you like Mr Smith Goes to Washington and It's a Wonderful Life.

    Do you recognize this plot:

    Gilligan gets hit in the head with a cocoanut. After Gilligan loses his memory, he falls asleep on a raft which the professor is working on, and is carried away by the tides. Gilligan's raft comes ashore on another island where the natives have a graven image of their Great One, as foretold in the ancient prophecies. The image looks exactly like - Gilligan. The simple islanders make Gilligan their king

    If you saw that episode (I don't know if there actually was such an episode, but there should be), you can skip The Majestic

    The Shipping News is another big, sweeping, sentimental film. Like the John Irving novels made into films (Garp, Cider House), it is not filled with human beings, but with colorful literary characters experiencing improbably frequent tragedies.

    • Cate Blanchett's buns (1, 2)

    A Beautiful Mind won the two most important Oscars, so there you have it.

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr
    Today's exercise in mediocrity...the movie "True Blue" (2001). Starring Tom Berenger, Lori Heuring and Pamela Gidley. Written and directed by J.S. Cardone (he also wrote and directed the WB-ish vampire flick "The Forsaken").

    Berenger did his usual fine job walking through his role as a washed up, semi-drunk cop. In fact all of the acting is fine, the script however, well that's another story. It basics are not bad, and it had some promise, but there were just too many clichés and red herrings for my taste. But if there's nothing else on, it's a decent crime drama with a little mystery, a little sex, and a few twists and turns.

    The nudity:
    Not enough.

    There of course are the usual unknown strippers and girlfriends of convicts that are required by law when making a cop flick.

    The "star" Lori Heuring (of "The In Crowd") teases, but never gives up the goods. She has a nice, thin body, that she shows off in undies and bikinis.

    Then there is the scene that Hankster fans will love. The majority of the nudity comes in the form of a seriously freaky fetish show. Fair warning, there is a little more than harmless movie bondage here as Fetish Babe #1 has her nipples tortured.

    Variety
    Britney Spears
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    A few assorted Britney pics for the fans. In link #8 it looks like she raided the costume trailer from the "Scooby Doo" set. I guess Daphne's boots didn't fit.

    Heather Graham
    (1, 2)

    Showing plenty of cleavage while out on the town, and looking pretty darn good in the process.

    Mandy Moore The teen pop star/model/actress looking amazing in a bikini in the July FHM. Thanks to IMF for the scan.

    Nico The German born actress/model/singer known for her association with the Andy Warhol "scene" and as a member of the rock band The Velvet Underground in 60's. These topless images are from from the 1963 movie "Strip-tease", by Scanman.

    The Funnies
    A few leftover Clinton jokes....

  • Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with "Clinton Soup," that will honor one of the nation's most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.

  • Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin production in Canada this year.

  • American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of crap he can't fly.

  • Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    >From IMDB News. Julia obviously knows where her true talent lies...

    Julia Says No To 'Goth' Hair Request
    Julia Roberts will do many things for the sake of her acting career - but she refuses to mess with her hair. The Oscar-winning Erin Brockovich actress was reportedly asked by director Steven Soderbergh to "go goth" and shave all her hair off, then dye what was left jet black for her role in the forthcoming Full Frontal. But Julia refused - screeching "No, I won't. I'll wear a wig - but no more," according to Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper.