Proper etiquette to l'arn for your first trip to Alabam'

    While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

    Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

    Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the tastes of finger foods.


    When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

    If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

  • DATING (Outside the Family)

    Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

    Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.


    Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

    For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

    Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.


    Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

    When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

    Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.

    When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

    Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.


    Never take a beer to a job interview.

    Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

    It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

    If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

    Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

Today's Images
Carrie Janisse
  • From Ellifen Graphix, another one of those little known, erotic thriller starlets. But as always, we give full credit for quality, and a new face. Vidcaps from the movie "Desert Passion".
  • One more collage from "Desert Passion". Isn't that one of those funky flavors of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream?
  • Jayne Mansfield
  • If you've stopped by lately, you may have noticed an ongoing salute to some of the classic women of the big screen. Today we continue that tribute with these excellent vidcaps of one of my favorite screen legends, the very sexy Ms. Mansfield, from the movie "The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield", by Don Bun.
  • A great single frame 'cap from "Wild...", by Don Dun.
  • Mathilda May
  • As an extended sample of the recently updated Volume M of the Encyclopedia of Naked Celebrities, here's a long time Fun House favorite, the very lovely Mathilda May. This first collage by Magicman, features both Mathilda and Virginia Madsen topless, from the movie "Becoming Colette".
  • A great cleavage scan from a magazine cover.
  • Mathilda's infamous nude scene from the movie "Lifeforce". Vidcaps by BSC.
  • Topless Mathilda (not to be confused with the "Waltzing" variety) from "Naked Tango".
  • A Scoopy original, Mathilda from "The Tit and the Moon". A fairly self explanatory collage.
  • A full frontal vidcap of Ms. May from the French movie "Toutes peines confondues."
  • From Don Bun, vidcaps from "Letters to an Unknown Lover".
  • Vidcaps of Mathilda from "Letters...". This time by RDO.
  • More RDO 'caps, this time from "Becoming Colette".
  • Ms. May once again from "Naked Tango", also by RDO.
  • Another look at "Naked Tango" from RDO.
  • And finally, a full frontal scan from her famous, all nude appearance in "Lifeforce".
  • Fun House Variety
  • Another celeb currently in theatres this week, the very beautiful, Anne Heche with Joan Chen from "The Wild Side".
  • Setting the clock back to 1969, to visit with Andrea Rau. Vidcaps by VidScan.
  • Bridgette Fonda from the erotic drama, "Aria", by Valentino.
  • 70's starlet JoAnna Cameron. (Scoopy Sr's comment: When watching TV with the kids, the only show I liked watching better than Electra Woman was Isis. Where is Joanna now? The last time she appeared on camera was 18 years ago. She was only 29 at the time. She directed a documentary in 1982 ... and then ??????) I'm not sure of the movie, but here she is from a shower scene.
  • Not sure what Joanna is doing these days, but here's a recent (1996) picture of her from a nostalgia web site. She now looks like Lily Tomlin.