* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Honey Baby

Honey Baby (2003) is an unusual love story, a retelling of the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, made in Finland in English.

Henry Thomas (ET) plays a former singing star now struggling to make a living in Germany.  His agent offers him a tour of Russia. He at first declines, but when his girlfriend kicks him out, and his partner sells their bar at a loss, he ends up accepting. To add insult to injury, he must drive his own car. On the road, he runs into Finnish superstar Irina Bjorklund, who is playing a mystery woman who has escaped from her wedding - a wedding that Henry was to have performed for. She steals his car, so he hitches to his first gig, and when he arrives, his guitar is there, his car is parked outside, and she has introduced herself as his road manager. When he finishes, he discovers that she also collected the fee. He finds her in a club, but he is soon drugged, and wakes up in her apartment. They eventually agree to travel together, but Henry doesn't yet know that her jilted would-be husband is a European mob boss, and is after her. When his sleazy manager cancels his contract and fills his remaining gigs with an impersonator, Henry decides that traveling with Irina is as good an occupation as any.

As they fall in love he nicknames her "Honey Baby" because she was raised on an apiary. They lose the car and guitar when the bad guys close in, but hop a train, and end up joining a small circus, where she becomes the snake dancer. After the circus, things go downhill for a while but, unlike Orpheus and Eurydice, they manage a happy ending.

The similarities to the Greek myth are obvious. Our hero plays a Gibson electric acoustic, not a lyre, she loses her snake dancing job because she kissed the snake, making the circus owner's wife jealous rather than being bitten to death by snakes, and the mob boss (Helmut Berger) doubles for Hades and Persephone.

This is a good film in English with known performers, and a decent plot - the best film version I have seen of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. It is essentially a road movie with a classical theme and likable characters, and it stays fresh and unpredictable from start to finish. Both leads become sympathetic characters, although they take some time to get there, and the plot kept me guessing - a good thing in my opinion. The icing on the cake is the travelogue aspect of the film, which offers a look at Halle/Leipzig, Riga, Kaliningrad, Murmask, St. Petersburg and Karelia, and presents those locations in a far more intimate way than in most movies.

This is a C, at least.

IMDb readers say 6.0

It is available from RLDVDs.com in a region 2 PAL, Click on the image for info.

Honey Baby DVD Irina Bjorklund Widescreen (2003)

If you are looking for a region-free DVD player, here is RLDVD's deal, and all the info you need from clicking on this image...

*Special Deal* Region Free DVD Player Plus 4 DVDs


Because I have several more of Irina's films on deck, and she might not yet be a household name outside of Finland, here's a bit of background:

She studied at The Theatre Academy of Finland from 1993 to 1996, and appeared in her first film in 1996. She studied ballet at an early age, but joint problems forced her career change. She speaks fluent French, English, Swedish and Finnish. Also speaks some Russian and Spanish. She also sings and plays the saw. She has won a Best Actress Jussi (Finish Oscar), and was nominated for another.


Irina Bjorklund








Emanuelle Around the World


Today the Time Machine takes a 30 year jaunt back to 1977 for "Emanuelle Around The World."

Leading it off with Brigitte Petronio showing breasts.


Elisabetta Terrible with some delicious full frontal.


More full frontal from Laura Gemser & Karin Schubert.


Still more full frontal from the lovely star of this epic Laura Gemser.



Laura is joined by Brigitte Petronio from some girl on girl fun, breasts only.



Then we move on to a bunch of unknowns for some pseudo hard-core action.


Part two of our journey is what I will call the "Damsels in Peril" section.  Elisabetta Terrible is raped by a pretty wild group of guys, more full frontal from Elisabetta. 




Karin Schubert is roughed up and raped by another bunch of bad guys. More full frontal.


Laura Gemser all tied up.



Laura Gemser and some unknown "Babes in Bondage" with more full frontal fun.


More unknown "Babes in Bondage" revealing it all and some pretty nasty scenes with snakes and dogs.







Notes and collages

No Sex Please, We're British

Margaret Nolan, as promised ...









Manuale de Amore 2


Sinopsis: en esta película se nos presenta cuatro nuevos episodios: "Eros" tiene como protagonista un joven parapléjico enamorado locamente de su fisioterapeuta (Monica Bellucci); "La maternidad" es la odisea tragicómica de Franco y Manuela, una joven pareja que está obligada a acudir a la reproducción asistida para tener un hijo; "El matrimonio" trata de Fosco y Filippo, una pareja gay que decide ir a España para casarse; en "Amor extremo" el cincuentón Ernesto, cansado de la rutina del matrimonio, sufre un arrebato de pasión por una mujer mucho más joven que él, Cecilia (Elsa Pataky). El hilo conductor de estos cuatro "capítulos" es un programa radiofónico conducido por el disc jockey Fulvio, centrado en el tema del amor.


This film presents four new episodes.

  • Eros is about a young paraplegic who falls madly in love with his physical therapist (Monica Bellucci).
  • Maternity is the tragicomic odyssey of a young couple who must go to great lengths to have a son.
  • Matrimony is about a gay couple who travel to Spain to marry.
  • Extreme  Love is about a fiftyish man who tires of the routine of marriage and undertakes an affair with a much younger woman (Elsa Pataky).

The framing device for the four chapters is a DJ broadcast centered on the theme of love.


Elsa Pataky


Monica Bellucci








Dance Macabre

The movie is about a Russian dancer who gets involved with an American, played by Robert "Freddy Kruger" Englund, and they have a mysterious accident where "she" ends up in a wheelchair. Years later she has an academy run by Englund's character, where a spoiled rich girl (Michelle Zeitlin) is sent to learn some discipline. Soon after, people start to die and the secret behind the accident comes out in the end.

The spoiled rich girl in this movie is played by Michelle Zeitlin, who is actually not an actress. She works as a choreographer, but she got the part (I guess) because her character does some Flashdance-style dancing. That was good for us, because the part came with a couple of great nude scenes, and she has a nice body. Even now, 18 years after the movie, she still looks good. (Look at her pics in the IMDb.)


Scoop's note: The film is rated 1.6 at IMDb, and Michelle never acted again, so she may have the all-time lowest average score per film! She's the Bizarro version of Johnny Cazale. (The lowest-rated movie he was ever in - The Conversation- is rated #161 of all time at IMDb! Every film he was ever in was nominated for Best Picture! He's the guy who played Fredo in The Godfather.)

Actually, though, I think the "lowest average" crown probably goes to someone in the immortal cinema classic The Tony Blair Witch Project, which is rated a near-perfect 1.1 at IMDb. "Told in Documentary form, the film depicts a group of five British film critics and politicians who venture off into the West Virginian wilderness in search of the Tony Blair Witch, which may or may not be related to British Prime Minister Tony Blair."




Michelle Zeitlin


Nina Goldman









The bad news is this 2001 thriller stars David Hasselhoff, and the first half is as trashy as you would expect from DH. The good news is that Yvonne Scio is smokin' hot, and the story grows a brain about halfway through and becomes a very decent thriller with a nice twisty ending.

A businessman who has marital problems and is always on the road has a quickie with a beautiful young woman during a layover, and right in the baggage claim area, no less. Only after does he discover she is the wife of a jewelry dealer who he met on the incoming flight, and who has some extremely dangerous tendencies. Suddenly, as night turns into day, he finds himself a suspect in the guy's murder.

The first half is watchable only because of the nude scene by red-hot Yvonne, but be patient, because the second half makes it a worthwhile if not great thriller.

Yvonne Scio







Diary of Lust

Here are a few clips from the Godfather of erotic Gothic haunted castle travel back in time comedies. After Diary of Lust was made, no one else even bothered to make a sequel...that's just how good it was. Yep, sure was. So. lots of naked babes. Julia Kruis takes a bath and then gets to boffing, first solo and then with Mia Zottoli.

Okay, then, Susan Featherly and Caroline Key Johnson break some scallawag out of the castle prison just to pork him.









Mylene Jampanoi in Valley Of Flowers. Film clip here, captures below.

Mr Skin checks in with some additional entries from the Edwige Fenech filmography

Alle dame del castello ...


Doctor Jekyll


Io e Caterina


La poliziotta fa carriera




Quando le donne ...

A film clip of Mia Sara in Undertow
More film clips from Bully.

A few from the 1976 version of A Star is Born

Barbra Streisand

Marta Heflin

Wrestling babe Tracy Brooks gets her pants pulled down at Slammiversary 2007 (Film clip here, sample caps to the right.)
Christina Cole in Sea of Souls. This is a BBC TV series about paranormal investigations, and Christina's episodes aired this April. (Film clip here. Caps to the right)
Marika Dominczyk in 3 AM. (Film clip here. Caps to the right)
Yet another partial slip from Britney






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Britney Spears' lawyers sent a letter to Clear Channel Communications, threatening to sue over a billboard for Florida radio station WFLZ.  It promotes their wacky morning team by showing host MJ Kelli beside the famous snarling paparazzi photo of an enraged, bald-headed Spears, with the captions, "Shock Therapy," "Certifiable," and "Total Nut Jobs."  Her lawyer calls this "outrageous in the extreme," and says Britney's "likeness has a multi-million-dollar value for authorized commercial exploitations" and, as a result, she is entitled to "very substantial damages."

*  It's also a bad ad because next to Britney, their wacky, nutty morning guy looks perfectly normal.


The Corvallis, Oregon, Gazette-Times reports that a family installed a video camera in their barn after someone assaulted their horse.  They were shocked in February when they caught a teenager on video, having sex with their horse.  Police said the teen seemed very practiced, unhurried but not wasting any time, and he seemed to be
following a "very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan."  The family installed a silent alarm, and when he returned last week at 2 a.m., police came and caught him in the act.

*  He claimed he was just looking for a little roll in the hay.

*  It made him feel like a real stud. 

*  Asked if she had consented, the horse replied, "Neigh! Neigh!"


The New York Times reports that there is rising skepticism that celebrity rehab clinics actually help clients kick their habits.  Some charge $50,000 a month and offer gourmet food, massage therapy, yoga, spiritual classes and ocean views, but little proof that they work.  Some 12-step programs have less than a 10 percent success rate, and experts particularly question luxury centers that let stars come and go at will.  But the director of one defended that policy, saying, "If you spend your whole time at a treatment center, when you leave you're not prepared for the stresses and anxieties on the outside." Another said, "They're trying new approaches. You can't tell Lindsay Lohan she can never have a beer again or she's failed.  She will fail."

*  Thanks to their new approach, Lindsay has learned how to deal with stresses and anxieties: she drinks.

*  So they've done what the public schools have done: redefine "failure." 


On this day in 1847, the first recorded baseball game was played in Hoboken, New Jersey.  New York won 23 to 1, but their pitcher was fined six cents for swearing at the umpire.

*  That doesn't sound like much, but in 1847, six cents bought a lot of steroids.