"Huntress Spirit of the Night"
Huntress Spirit of the Night (1992) is drive in fare, so lets look to the expert, Joe Bobb, who says, four stars, check it out. IMDb readers say 2.7 of 10. Jenna Bodnar returns to her ancestral estate after the death of her father, and everyone tries to get her to return to the states as quickly as possible. Her old girlfriend wants her to sell the estate to a dashing wealthy man. After dinner at the man's house, she returns to find a naked girl (Alina Turoiu), who zaps her with a bolt of light, giving her the spirit of a Panther. Seems the panther business is the result of a gypsy curse, and also claimed her mother.
The curse has nothing to do with why the girlfriend (Blair Valk) wants her to sell. Her basement has a secret cache of priceless expressionist paintings stolen by her grandfather and hidden there. Bodnar's love interest is a wildlife photographer who is living in a nearby cave/darkroom. Turoiu, Bodnar and Valk all show everything, and Carmen Lacatus shows breasts.
This is not really as bad as it sounds. There was some imaginative sex, the right proportion of nudity to plot, and some interesting twists and turns. All in all, a watchable B film. C-.
Night Patrol (1984) is sort of a Police Academy spin off, but not really. The story centers around the unknown comic, who is a cop by day, and stand-up comic by night. He wears a paper bag over his head because police are not allowed to moonlight, and he could lose his job. His partner, Pat Paulson, is a pussy hound. Linda Blair as the dispatcher is hot for the Unknown Comic, but he is oblivious. At the same time, someone is robbing bars with a paper bag over their head. The police chief, played by a farting Billy Barty, suspects the Unknown Comic. He wants to nail Lori Sutton.
Sutton has a lengthy topless scene. Blair shows a breast briefly near the end of the film. Kitten Natividad, as a stoner, also shows breasts. The film is full to the brim with terrible puns, obvious jokes, and bodily function humor, and is decidedly not PC, especially in the way it makes fun of the gay community. However, it has great pace, and enough energy, that I watched it start to finish, and even had a few chuckles. C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Samy y Yo (2002)
How many movie titles contain three consecutive "y's"?
Call it "When
Harry Kate met Sally
I was really hoping there would be some nudity in
this film for a couple of reasons. The obvious one, of course, is
that any man in his right mind, with even the faintest traces of
testosterone in his body, would want to see Angie Cepeda naked. The
second reason is that I don't usually write up any films without
nudity. I look at every new release every week, and I just don't
have time to write about the fleshless ones unless they are cinema
This one isn't a classic, but it is a very good
Here's the idea.
It's a romantic comedy, but not from the Hollywood
formula factory, not a story about pretty people making their
inevitable march toward each other with a few detours. It comes from
the quirky side of romantic comedy, the side that includes
Tracey/Hepburn and Woody Allen's pairings with Diane Keaton. In
fact, those two teams give the film its inspiration, but with a mix-and-match pairing.
It's Woody Allen and Kate Hepburn.
The female star is a wisecracking know-it-all who
talks fast, thinks fast, and is always in command of every
situation. She's feminine, but not in a submissive way. In short,
she's the perfect unmarried 1940s career woman.
The male star is a nebbishy Jewish writer who is
currently writing gags for a cocky TV comic a lot like Jay Leno (or
Sid Caesar, for that matter). The writer, of course, doesn't want to
write this kind of material. He wants to be Kafka or Borges or
Strindberg, or maybe Ingmar Bergman. He walks down the street
muttering miserably to himself, lost in paranoia, and hypochondria. In his
spare time he's trying to write angst-laden novels with passages
like "He hated Buenos Aires. He hated its commerce, its bankers, its
energy. He hated its restaurants and cafes ... "
You have the picture, right? They are so much like
Katharine Hepburn and Woody Allen that I'm just going to call them
Kate and Woody. There are two other things I have to tell you.
The first has to do with appearances. The real
Katharine Hepburn was an attractive enough woman, but Angie Cepeda
is not just "sort of attractive". She is a friggin' TKO. She's
Hepburn with Raquel Welch's face and body!
The second revelation is that this is a film from
Argentina, and the entire film is in Spanish. (Cepeda is actually
Kate has a stroke of entrepreneurial genius. She sees
that the pairing between a self-confident Jay Leno comedian and a
Woody Allen writer is a mismatch, and that the writer's lines,
basically his whining about his own life, should be delivered by the
writer himself, somebody who is enough of a Sad Sack to make
the whining realistic. So Kate pulls a lot of strings in the TV
industry - we are led to
believe she does this by using her, um, feminine charms on some rich criminals -
and forces the writer to become a TV star. When I say "forces", I
mean that literally. She arranges for a live show, and she just
pushes Woody out into a three-walled set, with the door locked
behind him, and the audience in front of him. He whines about how he
doesn't want to be a TV star, and the audience thinks it is just
part of the show. The more he complains, the funnier he is. In later
episodes, Kate makes Woody feel even more anxious on camera by putting
his classic Jewish Mother in the front row of the audience, and just
lets mama do her thing. Woody's heightened anxiety produces
heightened hilarity, and soon mama is as big a star as Woody himself.
The fly in this perfect ointment is happiness.
Kate and Woody fall in love. Woody becomes Argentina's #1 pop
culture icon. He becomes happy.
When he finds happiness, the magic is gone from his
If you are with me so far, you can probably deduce
that the film is stuck at this point. Where do you take it from
there? Do the lovers say "fuck it", throw out the show and just live
happily ever after in their love? That's the way a formula Hollywood romcom
would do it, but I ask you, is that what Kate Hepburn would do? Of
course not. She would find a way to make Woody truly miserable
again, so he can be successful.
You can probably figure it out from there.
It's a terrific idea. I liked the movie a lot. I
laughed out loud a few times.
My only hesitation in recommending it is that the
film just drifts aimlessly for the last ten minutes, or maybe nine
of the ten, until it sort of muddles through a happy ending. That
temporary anomie didn't really spoil the film for me, however, so if
it is your kind of film, "enjoy"!
Bad Santa (2003)
I reviewed it back when it was in theaters.
There was no nudity in the theatrical release, but the unrated
DVD, now called Badder Santa, has two topless strippers and another
woman in a mini-bikini. I was not able to identify the three
- Strippers (1,
.wmv clips - The Name of the Rose
The classic scene between the young, virginal monk (Christian
Slater) and the peasant girl. These three clips are all from the
same scene, just split into smaller files.
If you love good literature, this is a brilliant book, filled
with erudition, crazy characters, and interesting medieval period
details. One of the best books I have ever read. It's also a good
mystery. Warning: sadly, it isn't a book for casual readers. It's
about as hard to read as Ulysses.
- Valentina Vargas (1,
Former Globetrotter sentenced to 17 years for fraud.
He bet on the Generals, then threw the game.
J.K. Rowling Ends Harry
Potter Series After Discovering Boys
One day's report: 1O6 False Science Claims
Monty Python's Terry Jones agrees with Rumsfeld on
this whole torture thing, uses approved methods
to "extract information" from his teenage kids.
- I have five more g-mail invitations for the first five people
to ask for one at firstname.lastname@example.org
Kobe Bryant defense team wins phone records of
accuser's former boyfriend, including all text messages..
2004 Campaign Advertising - GeorgeWBush.org -
Official Site to Re-Select Bush/Cheney in 2004!
(For the terminally slow: this site is a parody)
Three more spots and three clips from Spider-Man 2
- President Bush:
"The reason I keep insisting that there was a
relationship between Iraq and Saddam and al Qaeda, because there
was a relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda."
"Of course it was a negative relationship. They
were trying to oust him from power. But, hey, I never said it was
one a them thar positonic relationships! I just said relationship.
Well, actually, I probably said relationism, but then Condi made
me change the word. Nanny, nanny, boo, boo"
French declare Michael Moore winner of the Tour de
France. The stunning victory for Mr. Moore in
the world’s most famous bicycle race was particularly surprising
because Mr. Moore is not known to have ever owned or even climbed
upon a bicycle in his entire life. But what made the win truly
controversial was the fact that the Tour de France was not
scheduled to begin until next month. “In recognition of Mr.
Moore’s contributions to the world of cinema and to the world in
general, we felt it was only fair to give him a month’s head
Mel Gibson is the "Most Powerful Celebrity"
Donald to get webbed footprints on Walk of Fame
Yahoo! News - Kelly Ripa Signs 5-Year 'Live'
Contract. He co-star Regis, has two years to co
on each of his major contracts, one with "Live" and one with
I thought Affleck gave up drinkin'
Panthers QB gets 5-year, $38 million extension.
The "Globally Acclaimed" Vagina Institute
Christopher Walken offers his own spin
. Hey, he wants to play the Brad Pitt roles, but people
just don't view him that way.
The Zeta-Jones stalker bust. When
stalking Natalie Portman's mom just isn't enough. If I were going
to get into the stalker biz, I'd try someone a little less
temperamental than Zeta. Maybe I'd stalk Tom Selleck or Stifler.
Madonna is marking her adoption of Kabbalah by
changing her name to Esther. "I wanted to attach
myself to the energy of a different name."
The Ol' Chinese Tattoo Prank: oldest trick in the
book (of Confucius).
An embarrassing photograph of Larry King's garbage
has been pulled from an art exhibit because it shows a box of
Depends adult diapers among the detritus.
You really have to hand it to Victoria's Secret
Script Review of The Transporter 2
Playboy's Breast Test
- American model and actress
Caprice Bourret has won an apology and undisclosed
damages in London's High Court over a newspaper
article saying her acting career had 'failed spectacularly'.
Apparently she was able to prove in court that her acting career
was successful. If I ever commit a crime, I want that lawyer. If
he can prove Caprice's acting career is successful, he can prove
- Whatever happened to ... ?
TechTV's Morgan Webb in Maxim
Mag July '04
Pat O'Brien is leaving 'Access Hollywood' for a new
gig as anchor of 'The Insider,' an upcoming spinoff of
Four free short videos from Playboy's Amateur Home
Playmate Gallery - Irina Voronina, January, 2001 -
Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
Ah-nuld in "80 Days" - as The Perminator
More crack naked celebrity reportage from the paper
of record, the Sun. The British are so wise.
When is USA Today going to add bare supermodel breasts?
Pope John Paul asks forgiveness for the Spanish
Inquisition. Nobody expects forgiveness for the
Spanish Inquisition. Lack of forgiveness is our main weapon. Well,
lack of forgiveness and lack of surprise are our two main weapons.
Oh, and lack of pretty red uniforms - THREE main weapons. Start
again. "Amongst our weaponry .... "
Move over Tiger: N. Korea's Kim shoots a 34 for 18
holes in his 1st time out. And he would have
done even better if those little windmills hadn't kept fucking him
Clinton tells '60 Minutes' about his infidelities.
In 60 minutes they were only able to cover his life up to age 14.
The rest of the interview will be included in the deleted scenes
of the 30-disk DVD issue of the interview.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
If you are looking for movies which are both classy
and sexy, here is your Gone With The Wind. Includes one of the
sexiest scenes in cinema history (The wind chimes barely tinkle on a
sultry Florida night when Hurt breaks down the front door to
take Turner). Amusing noir dialogue, twisty plot, sassy dames, sappy
mugs, great minor characters - a 1940s movie genre revived brilliantly in the 80s, with
an 80s level of nudity. Not a great movie, perhaps, but one of my
favorite movies nonetheless.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
Boardheads, aka Beach Movie (2003)|
Hey Scoop, I picked up the Boardheads DVD for a quick watch.
Here's a quick summary:
1. Bad Hardbodies ripoff. Three rich old uncool guys hook up with
locals to meet babes. Did I say bad "unfunny" Hardbodies ripoff?
2. Elephant's Graveyard for celebrities, Bronson Pinchot, Loretta
Swit and Gabrielle Anwar.
3. Bronson Pinchot, without an accent, is totally without charm.
Beverly Hills Cop -Yes, bad Elvis/Ford Fairlane/James Bond imitation
4. The hero, Link, has a girlfriend, who is the flattest babe in
the movie. The flattest babe in any bikini movie. Hell, probably
the flattest babe in the 5th grade. She wears a make-shift bikini
with flowers stuck on for a bra, and they cover her entire breasts.
5. The flat girlfriend, Sunny, is Gabrielle Anwar. I seem to
remember she had breasts once. But then, she had a career once too.
6. In the bikini contest Sunny wears Annette Funicello's bikini
straight from Beach Blanket Bingo, complete with Granny panties.
7. Others in the bikini contest wear string bikinis and have
breasts. Guess who wins?
8. This movie would make a great drinking game. Drain your glass
everytime someone says "dude". Drain two glasses if two people say
it at the same time. Drain three glasses if someone uses "dude" with
another expression, such as "surfer dude." Drunk in 15 minutes.
9. Nudity report - topless unknowns, bikini tops pulled off. One
hot chick has her topless surf ride covered with a CENSORED
balloon. Shower love scene with Sunny wearing a towel in the shower
(no water running either.) Camel toe in early scene by Sunny, where
balcony railing was moved to better frame her panties.
10. The only time "woody" will be mentioned in relation to this
film, is when they load their surfboards in a wood-paneled vintage
The Copperhead Dude (takes drink)
Other news - Did you read or hear, that several children and one
adult drowned in the Fort Worth water gardens, where part of Logan's
Run was filmed? It's featured prominently in the movie, and I
remember going there years ago. They were part of a church group
and ignored the NO SWIMMING signs. Apparently they were sucked
under a deep pool by the suction pumps that run the waterfalls.
Here's a link.
Comments by Brainscan about the recent nekkid poll:
I voted for Jessica Alba, too. No shock there. And I had Nikki Cox coming in third, overall (boy was I surprised). But I did predict that JLH would be the winner, even though she is so far from attractive when you keep your eyes above her neck.
It's all about TV.
Each of the top vote getters has done serious time on television... that's what makes the Nikki Cox low vote very surprising, and it's what explains Scarlett Johansen's low total. It seems that we see single frame after single frame of some show whenever someone exposes the least bit of skin.
Of course you can damn well wear out your welcome, as the Olsen twins have... big time. Yikes, they are scary.
So I'd bet if you ran a poll of the best one-time-only nekkid performance I'd vote for Lynda Carter in Bobbi Jo, but the winners would be Reese Witherspoon or Katie Holmes or Christina Ricci. The one-eyed monster plus a little generational factor thrown in. Don't know if it's good or bad... it just is.
Today, the Ghost has a few .wmvs of Ashley Laurence showing breasts and bum in a couple of love scenes from "Triplecross"...starring Michael Paré and Billy Dee Williams.
Horror film fans may recognize her from the first 3 "Hellraiser" movies, as well as one of the lesser direct-to-vid installments "Hellraiser: Hellseeker" (2002).
- Ashley Laurence
|Jennifer Love Hewitt
|Well the crowd has spoken, and Jen is the girl you want to see nekkid.... But since we can't deliver that just yet, how about some HDTV 'caps featuring leg and pokies from her recent Leno appearance.
|...and since you loved her enough to give her the #3 spot in our poll, here's Elisha looking lovely in undies and a tank top. Fantastic 'caps by PlasMa from "Old School".
|Paris and her sidekick are back on FOX. Here are a few 'caps from the premiere of "The Simple Life 2". Paris looks great in a bikini. Nicole...well, she's the friend of the good looking one.
||Out and about...and as usual, showing some partial breast exposure.
|Rachael Leigh Cook
||An excellent dowm blouse peek, plus a partial side breast view in scenes from the very off beat indie, "The Big Empty" (2003).
||The Skinemax regular going topless in scenes from "Illicit Lovers" (2000).
|Marvin 'caps of the brunette going topless and showing pubes in scenes from "No Way Home" (1996). She's has an ineteresting filmography. Basically just a few small parts in decent movies and TV shows ("Regarding Henry", "Kiss of Death", "The Sopranos" and "Law & Order"). Then out of nowhere she also has a single credit as Bruce Willis' assistant for "Tears of the Sun".
|Topless and gettin' it on in scenes from the 1992 Aussie film about skin-heads, "Romper Stomper", starring Russell Crowe before he became a mega-star. 'Caps by Mr. Nude Celeb.
|(Not to be confused with Laura Harris of "24", "Dead Like Me" and "The Faculty").
Here is the model/actress baring her bum and going topless in Señor Skin 'caps from from the the 1996 B-movie "The Zone".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BILL CLINTON DISCUSSES MONICA, ETC.
The White Badge Of Courage - In an upcoming interview with "60 Minutes," Bill
Clinton said he's proud that he fought his "illegitimate" impeachment, saying
it was "a badge of honor. I don't see it as a stain."
That's his problem: he never sees stains until it's too late.
He's certain that future historians will steam-clean this stain from the
metaphorical carpet of his legacy.
What About All The Others? - Clinton also called his affair with Monica
Lewinsky "a terrible moral error" which he did "for the worst possible reason: just
because I could."
"Just Because I Could"...That would've made a much better title for his
The best possible reasons were that she had a big butt and she brought the
MADONNA NOW "ESTER"
A Ho By Any Other Name... - Madonna told ABC's "20/20" that she "brought a
lot of chaos to people's lives because of my selfish behavior." But since
discovering Kabbalah, she says she's become a "decent human being" and taken the
Hebrew name Esther to "attach myself to the energy of a different name."
The name "Madonna" just never inspired her to be a decent person.
She's also adopted a rap name: "Ester-C."
For her next acting role, she'll try taking the name "Meryl"... Let's see
if THAT works.
She's so much more wise and mature since she started believing in
SWEATIEST CITY IN AMERICA
Yet They Eat Jalapenos At Every Meal - In a study sponsored by Procter &
Gamble, El Paso, Texas, was named the "Sweatiest City in America." Researcher Tim
Long said that with its intense heat and humidity, 94 degrees F. feels like
118 in El Paso. He calculates that El Paso residents shed more than 36 fluid
ounces of sweat per hour, totaling enough sweat to fill an Olympic swimming
pool in just four hours. The mayor will receive a year's supply of Old Spice
"Red Zone" deodorant.
Which for anyone else would be a 10-year supply.
El Paso is Spanish for "The Perspiration."
In El Paso, 94 feels like 118, or 200 if you're trying to sneak across the
border in a cattle car.
It's so hot, locals want to jump in a swimming pool...Well, not anymore...
Greece is also very hot and sweaty...Think about that when you see the
swimming pools at the Olympics.
STUDENT SELLING HIS VIRGINITY
"David Vardy, Male Prostitute!" - David Vardy, 19, a student at England's
Bournemouth University, is raising tuition by auctioning his virginity on his
website. Vardy said his interests include computers and money, and he's never
had a girlfriend because he's so wrapped up in multimedia projects, but he
doesn't want to sound like a geek. He says that ideally, the buyer will be a
really nice, attractive woman, and the sex will be enjoyable. He says he's gotten
scores of e-mails from women worldwide, including eight firm offers with a top
bid of $11,168 (US).
Scratch that: Richard Simmons just bid $20,000.
The women figure, "What the hell, he could be the next Bill Gates."
How did he DO this?! Usually, a 19-year-old computer geek who wants to
lose his virginity has to pay the woman!
None of them speak English, but that's okay, since he's never actually
talked to a woman anyway.
You really can buy it all on Ebay!
Here's a link to his site