Screech - hung like a
- According to the
former child star, he is bigger soft than
Ron Jeremy is hard!
- And he seems like a
hamster compared to Belding!
Various details for a
pending Screech court case, showing that
Screech really does live in Wisconsin.
From a Wisconsin
newspaper, here is an actual picture of
Screech and the house is
to be evicted from.
"According to the 2006
edition of Forbes magazine's Celebrity 100
rankings, Tom Cruise is the most powerful
The trailer for Time To
- "A handsome,
successful fashion photographer learns that
he has a malignant brain tumor that will
soon kill him. Hiding his diagnosis, he
alienates his family and his young
boyfriend, but during a short stay with his
grandmother, his vulnerability is met with a
big heart and sound advice. A chance
encounter with a roadside cafe waitress
results in an unusual bargain that provides
a happy, playful dimension to the
ROTTEN TOMATOES: Movies
Opening this Week.
Latest update, percentage of positive reviews:
- Nacho Libre 45%
- Fast and Furious 3:
- Lake House 31%
- Garfield 2: 17%
- Loverboy (limited
AFI's 100 YEARS...100
- This is their full
and official list of the 100 most
inspirational movies. Surprisingly, the list
excludes Blue Velvet, Jackass: the Movie,
Freddy Got Fingered, Requiem for a Dream,
Cannibal Ferox, and Exorcist 2: the Heretic
Stephen Colbert and
author David Sirota discuss whether our
government should be for sale.
Colbert Report: License
- "Just like your
driver's license, the government's war
license has to be renewed before it
Georgia's 8th District
Jumbo-headed Tim Russert
talks to Jon Stewart about his new book 'The
Wisdom of Our Fathers.'
According to the Daily
"'An Inconvenient Truth'
plays on moviegoers' love of reality and
The Daily Show's Jason
Jones profiles an Ohio candidate who would
like to promote drunk driving on the weekends.
"President George W. Bush
received a $10,000 sniper's rifle, six jars of
fertilizer, 11 antique handguns, ten pounds of
dates, and a DVD of 'Singin' in the Rain' from
various foreign leaders"
Toga Part at
"Ben Affleck as Magnum
Google has a pretty cool
"Explore Shakespeare" site
Exidor has died.
Animated GIFS - Scraped
from a picture feed.
It's the old-school internet revisited.
Watch Will Ferrell in a
new trailer for 'Talladega Nights: The Ballad
of Ricky Bobby.'
A clip from Waist Deep
- In the urban action
thriller "Waist Deep," director Vondie
Curtis Hall ("Redemption") takes audiences
on a ride through contemporary Los Angeles -
where a sexy 21st-century Bonnie and Clyde
hit the streets.
My favorite e-mail of
the day comes from CNN. "Osama Bin Ladin was
found hanged by two CNN journalists ..."
- Yeah, that could be
from CNN. I'm sure they often misspell "bin
- About as often as
they submit stuff to "Other Crap" before it
hits the airwaves!
- And of course, CNN
would never proofread. Whoever wrote this
headline has a misplaced modifier that makes
it sound as if the reporters might have
hanged bin Laden! Finally, reporters do
something valuable! (You can fix the
sentence by shifting it to active voice.
"Two CNN journalists found ... ")
- For the record, it
is a trick to distribute a trojan. It was
thought to have disappeared two years ago,
but it seems to be back...
This week's movies
(about 3000 screens):
Garfield's A Tale of Two
Kitties - 8% positive reviews.
"I was listening to the
radio here in Portland and Jack Black was
being interviewed and said that he's still
actually up for Green Lantern."
- I can see why. He's
got it all. The sculpted abs. The tall,
commanding presence. The square jaw and high
cheekbones. The athletic grace. The
powerlessness against the color yellow.
- All kidding aside,
Jack Black could be Kyle Rayner, the
freelance artist and slacker who became the
latest Green Lantern. It would depend on the
script, but the storyline is reasonably
appropriate. Remember that Green Lantern is
not the name of a person, but rather a job
description. The Lantern is whichever guy
(on whichever planet) currently possesses
the ring sent from the Guardians of the
Universe, or some shit like that. Earth has
had several Green Lanterns, as have other
planets. After a long internecine power
struggle, the last Guardian sent the last
ring to Earth. It is the most powerful
weapon in the universe, and it fell into the
hands of an ordinary guy. Black could do
that. But the premise is VERY similar to The
Mask with Jim Carrey.
- Obviously, the
Blackster could not play classic-age GL,
when the Lantern for Earth was Hal Jordan,
the test pilot without fear.
Celebrity Sports Fan
- I wanna know which
team Bill Shatner roots for. Probably some
communist-inspired CFL schlubs.
Man, soccer cards are WAY
better than baseball cards!
Superman in 30 seconds,
re-enacted by Bunnies
- This raises an
important question or two.
- Is Otis a sidekick,
a henchman, or a minion? In my mind, he is
too close to the day-to-day life of his
leader to be a mere minion, but not
threatening enough to be a henchman.
Normally only good guys have sidekicks, but
I don't see that rule as hard and fast. I
- The dictionary
definition of a henchman is "A mercenary
adherent; a venal follower; one who holds
himself at the bidding of another." By this
definition, Otis is a henchman, but I argue
that puny comic relief characters cannot be
henchman, and must be sidekicks, to be
played by a completely different kind of
actor. Don Knotts could play a sidekick, not
a henchman. Michael Madsen can be a
henchman, but not a sidekick.
- Can lowly minions
be promoted from the masses to full-fledged
henchmen through the consistent and
sustained promulgation of their master's
evil bidding, or is a minion always a mere
- Note: the new
definition of minion - "an anonymous and
servile dependant" - is very different from
the definition used in earlier centuries -
"one especially favored or beloved."
- Do sidekicks have
to be loveable and comical? Roy Rogers had
Pat Brady. Wild Bill had Jingles. Cisco had
Pancho. Are there only comical sidekicks? Is
Robin Batman's sidekick, for example? The
OED defines a sidekick as "a subordinate
member of a pair," which would certainly
make Robin a sidekick, but he isn't comical
at all. He's obviously not a full partner,
so he seems to be the rare "serious
The Men of the Square
Table create the Man Laws.
Pretty funny stuff.
" ... lists of trailers
to play in front of SUPERMAN RETURNS here in a
couple weeks. On that list is SPIDER-MAN 3
celebrity plastic surgery!
- "Carnie Wilson told
him that after her gastric bypass surgery
and weight loss, she had a 'vagina lift' and
it moved her pussy 6 inches up her body! He
also noted that she said 'couldn't find her
asshole' the first time she went to the
Police raid doubles
Pirate Bay's popularity
Pictures of North Korea
The trailer for The War
- "Straight from the
front lines in Iraq, THE WAR TAPES is the
first war movie filmed by soldiers
themselves. This is Operation Iraqi Freedom
as filmed by Sergeant Steve Pink, Sergeant
Zack Bazzi and Specialist Mike Moriarty.
Steve is a wisecracking carpenter who
aspires to be a writer. Zack is a
Lebanese-American university student who
loves to travel."
The trailer for Outside
- Paul Wells is not
happy and he is not a good salesman. He used
to be. He used to be great. Before his
"tough times" Paul was a closer. But it all
changed when he came home early to find his
wife in bed with his co-worker. Paul hasn't
been the same since. His sales dropped, he
began sweating at inpportune times and
couldn't close a deal to save his life. Now,
Dagny Green, a beautiful hot-shot sales rep,
has been brought in to replace him. Paul has
to outsell Dagny in order to keep his job,
regain his self-respect and pull his life
back together... If he doesn't fall in love
with her first.
The trailer for One Last
- The first three
words of the trailer? ... "In a world ..."
- An assassin is
hired to kill the men responsible for
kidnapping an important man's son and with
every death, the killer gets closer to the
last kidnapper's name... his own.
The trailer for Lies and
- A man who runs an
alibi service for adulterous husbands gets
into a jam with a new client. In trying to
remedy the situation, he must rely on an
alluring woman who gets his heart racing.
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Electrical Girl (2004)
"Faat din chiu giu wa," is a puerile Hong Kong Category III comedy staring
Sophie Ngan in the title role. The premise is that she generates electricity -
literally - when sexually excited, and therefore fries her partners. She
discovered this malady in grade school. While in college, she fried three
boyfriends, and gave up on men. Her only outlet is "wanking" with a light
bulb. That worked for her until she got a new boss (She-Kei Wong). She finds
him irresistible, especially after an argument over snack foods. One of her
co-workers, Ka Yu Chow, discovers a horny doctor, and Ngan thinks he might
have a cure for her as well. He ends up having sex with her, and she discovers
an interesting new wrinkle to her malady. While she is cumming, she sees the
winning lottery balls. Unfortunately, her climax was not long enough to see
all of them. Her solution should have been obvious. She goes to work as a
hooker. Unfortunately, all the men she encounters are impotent. So, will she
every have a lottery winning orgasm? Will she find a cure and true love with
her impotent boss? You will have to watch to find out.
I am afraid I was not able to suspend my disbelief this time. It is
possible that much of the comedy was in the dialogue, and was lost in the
subtitles. For me, this was a D. Native speakers might be more impressed.
20 IMDb readers say 5.0.
shows breasts, and a hint of bush.
|Ka Yu Chow
shows her breasts being "examined" by the doctor.
Some avis from a strip and wiggle disk called Naked and Naughty. Not really
so naughty, after all, but a batch of nice looking gals. (Scoop's
note: some of the zip files contain more than one .avi, but none of the files
are very big.)
Pat's comments in yellow...
People magazine issued its new list of the hottest bachelors, and the
unlikely #1 is pudgy, prematurely-gray "American Idol" winner, Taylor Hicks. He
beat out such hunks as Matthew McConaughey, Nick Lachey, Jake Gyllenhaal, Owen
Wilson, Jamie Foxx and Ryan Seacrest. Hicks said he's been too busy to find
the right woman, but he exchanged waves with a mystery blonde on a plane
recently and wishes he'd gotten her name. People set up an e-mail address if
she'd like to contact him.
* No, no, Taylor! NOT Paris Hilton!!
Us Weekly claims that Britney Spears was buying pink thongs at a Victoria's
Secret in Mission Viejo, California, when she had to change her baby's diaper.
So to the discomfort of clerks and shoppers, she changed his diaper on the
floor, right next to the cash register. The source said she then tried to hand
it to a salesgirl, who declined to take it.
* It seems so long ago, but I actually remember when a
story about Britney Spears buying thongs wouldn't have made me nauseous.
The American Film Institute released its list of the 100 Most Inspiring Movies.
The oldest was Charlie Chaplin's "City Lights," and newest was "Ray." Counting
down the top five: "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington," "Rocky," "Schindler's List,"
"To Kill a Mockingbird," and at #1, "It's a Wonderful Life." An AFI spokesman
said people may or may not connect to
the story of a Philadelphia boxer or a family of singers fleeing the Nazis, but
everyone relates to Jimmy Stewart wondering what life would've been like
if he'd never been born.
* For one thing, "To Kill A Mockingbird" would've been #1
on this list.
In a new biography of Jimmy Stewart, author Marc Eliot reveals that Stewart was
so shy, he was single and over 25 and "failed to project heterosexual heat on
screen." It made MGM boss Louis B. Mayer suspicious that he was gay, so he
ordered Stewart to go to a bordello and nail at least two women, and ordered a
studio aide to follow and "give a manly account" of how he fared. Stewart
seemed to like it so much, he went on to bed dozens of famous, beautiful women
before wedding Gloria Hatrick in 1949 and staying happily married for 45 years.
* Say, it really was a wonderful life!