|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
A quick note: almost all of the Piper Perabo sex scene in Coyote
Ugly: Extended Cut was done by a body double named Laura Grady. The
breasts are Grady for sure. I checked Mr. Skin's site, and he
offered contradictory information. In one place he said, "The
flawless rackage is the work of a double, but the thong-clad can is
allllll Piper." On the other hand, he has the thong collages labeled
as "Piper Perabo body double," so I don't know the straight skinny
on the fanny. We do know that the breasts are NOT Perabo.
A thumb WAY up for this hard hitting-biography of the small but
impressively hung actor who managed to use intimidating violence and
his powerful sexual allure to overcome a squeaky voice and a
bug-eyed stare in becoming one of the few character actors who could
open a picture (as Mr. Limpet, Mr. Chicken, and The Shakiest Gun in
the West), and finally in establishing himself permanently in
America's collective consciousness as the lovable deputy Barney
Oh, wait. I'm thinking of Knotts!
Today's movie is Knots, with one t, and while is
isn't as good as the "two t" version, it does have the
significant advantage of not being a figment of my imagination.
Knots is yet another "talking about relationships" comedy. Six
contemporary urban thirty-somethings get involved in various sexual
combinations with one another and the occasional outsider. The
familiar characters are all there: the couple with a solid but
boring marriage, the sexually predatory bisexual female, the sleazy
and sexually predatory male, the nice guy, the nice girl.
The plot, if indeed there is one, involves two parallel
questions: (1) what will happen to the married couple after they
both cheat separately with the bisexual woman? (2) will the nice
girl figure out that she belongs with the nice guy before she ends
up married to the sleazy guy?
Knots is pretty much like all of the other films where the
characters get together in same-sex pairs to discuss their
relationships with the opposite sex. The one thing that really
redeems the film, or at least lifts it above the rest of the similar
films to hit the streets in the past ten years, is a hilarious
performance by (of all people) John Stamos, in a well written role
as the poster-boy handsome slimeball who will tell women anything
they want to hear in order to get laid, often going to outlandish
lengths to create his pick-up scenarios. (To get the idea, think of
the crazy stories Matt Dillon made up when he was trying to pick up
Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary.) Thanks to Stamos, and
Paulina Porizkova as his female equivalent, the film stays light and
moves along briskly. The sentimentality is offset by humor and the
characters are credible and likeable - even Stamos and Porizkova as
the horny "villains" seem decent enough underneath their sexual
A bit of nudity provided a plus for the film's entertainment
value. Paulina Porizkova showed her ex-supermodel figure in some hot
girl-on-girl action, and even Annabeth Gish flashed the top of her
bum in that scene. Tone Christensen appeared topless in a minor role
as one of the many women Stamos was entertaining. Stamos himself
flashed the ol' bum in a deleted scene.
Although Knots had no theatrical release, it's not bad at all if
this kind of movie appeals to you.
Note: .vob files will be played properly by a software DVD player
like PowerDVD or WinDVD. If you have one of those, the quality is as
good as a commercial DVD. If not, you probably don't even want to
DivX.com announces DivX 6.0
- Weekly World News:
"PENTAGON URGES SCHOOL BAKE SALES TO PAY FOR IRAQI WAR!"
Statue of hero to gay community draws monumental flak
- Dust off the mantel for a boatload of Oscars, cuz it's
Howard Stern's Porky's
"Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas contains a hack that allows you to
have sex with willing females."
Conan O'Brien's coverage of the Michael Jackson caravan
A clip from My Name is Earl, a show about a lowlife who
decides to right past wrongs after he wins the lottery.
A full episode of Comedy Central's Stella (premiere June 28th) is
The trailers for Kings and Queen, a new Franch drama.
- Nora (Emmanuelle Devos) is a 35-year-old art gallery
director and single mother struggling to rise above tragic
circumstances—a late husband, a failed second marriage and a
lover’s suicide—through her successful career and marriage to a
wealthy businessman. Ismaël (Mathieu Amalric), her ex-husband,
is a disheveled, neurotic musician who descends into a comic
nightmare when he is mistakenly committed to a mental hospital.
He faces off against the steely clinic psychiatrist (Catherine
Deneuve, in a scene-stealing cameo), but his eccentric
antics—including an in-house pharmacy raid with his
drug-addicted lawyer–earn a ten-day stay that may leave him
worse off than when he entered. On discovering that her father
is terminally ill and fearing for the future of her young son,
Nora tracks down Ismaël at the institution to enlist his help. A
series of intimate revelations and reversals further connects
these disparate lives, offering several enigmas, as well as a
rich examination of love, memory, mental health, and family
The trailer for The Constant Gardener, a new thriller
with Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz.
- Based on the best-selling John le Carré novel and from the
Academy Award-nominated director of "City of God." In a remote
area of Northern Kenya, activist Tessa Quayle (Rachel Weisz) is
found brutally murdered. Tessa's companion, a doctor, appears to
have fled the scene, and the evidence points to a crime of
passion. Members of the British High Commission in Nairobi
assume that Tessa's widower, their mild-mannered and unambitious
colleague Justin Quayle (Ralph Fiennes), will leave the matter
to them. They could not be more wrong. Haunted by remorse and
jarred by rumors of his late wife's infidelities, Quayle
surprises everyone by embarking on a personal odyssey that will
take him across three continents. Using his privileged access to
diplomatic secrets, he will risk his own life, stopping at
nothing to uncover and expose the truth - a conspiracy more
far-reaching and deadly than Quayle could ever have imagined.
Stephen Colbert reveals, if you're gonna commit a crime, do it in
California, where the D.A.'s are functionally retarded.
Jon Stewart interviews funnyman Will Ferrell
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry reports on the Caligulan splendor of
The Daily Show: "It looks like Michael Jackson won't need that
formal Edwardian prison frock after all."
Defending Guantanamo: Secretary Rumsfeld Releases Incontrovertible
Proof of American Hospitality at Camp Delta (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
- Oh, no-o-o-o-o!
H.J.RES.24: Proposing an amendment to the Constitution of the
United States to repeal the 22nd amendment to the Constitution.
For those of you who have been out of school for a long
time, the 22nd Amendment is the two-term limit for U.S.
VIDEO: "Some guy jumps out of a plane and then attempts to shoot a
flare but hits his parachute, setting it on fire."
Letterman's "Top Ten Messages Left On Michael Jackson's Answering
Machine" ... "It's Tito--congratulations. Could I
borrow 50 bucks?"
Photojournalism - New York in the 70s.
VIDEO: Penn & Teller: "The Patriot Act is Bullshit"
- Obvious observation of the day:
U.S. says drug war hampered by Mexican corruption.
Corruption in Mexico? I'm shocked, shocked!
War of the Worlds - remembering Edward Gorey.
Keri Russell will star in Mission: Impossible 3 Russell
is set to portray a trainee agent mentored by Ethan Hunt. The role
was to have been filled last year by Scarlett Johansson, but the
film was delayed.
Vin Diesel will star as Agent 47 in 20th Century Fox's upcoming
adaptation of Hitman, the best-selling video game
franchise from Eidos and developer IO Interactive.
If you really miss your lava lamp, you're gonna love this program,
which animates your mouse-generated brushstrokes.
Astro Pic - Cassiopeia A: Light Echoes in Infrared.
POLL: AMERICANS ALREADY MISS JACKSON TRIAL ... End of
Case Leaves Gaping Hole in People’s Lives, Survey Says
Coming Soon! - The Weekend Warrior's predictions for the upcoming
- He's guessing $69 million for the Batmeister (new on 3800
screens), $25m for Brangelina's second week, and a mediocre $9m
and fourth place for a Hilary Duff chick-flick, The Perfect Man
(new on 2000 screens).
This week's theater counts. New flicks: Batman 3800,
The Perfect Man 2000, Herbie 800 sneaks, My Summer of Love 15.
- This week's arthouse movies:
My Summer of Love - 92% positive reviews.
- This week's movies:
The Perfect Man - not enough reviews for a score. The
fact that it has not been pre-screened for critics is probably not
a good omen.
- This week's movies:
Batman Begins - 80% positive reviews.
A Mathematical model measures the quality of 'word of mouth' for
Tom Cruise has hired a woman Scientology "minder" for girlfriend
- At Tom insistence, Jessica Rodriguez goes everywhere with
Katie, who is converting to the religious cult. "Tom pays
Jessica to keep Katie on the path."
- It seems to me that if a gorgeous 26 year old movie star has
managed to stay a virgin, she probably can take care of herself.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Two of the dozen non-Heffer, non-Pet gals who got all nekkid and stuff in the Mystique Lingerie disk are Amy
Miller and Charissa Thompson, two blondes with hooters of the robo variety. In fact, reader be warned: if you are the least bit allergic to silicone, looking at these images and watching this disk will send you straight into anaphylaxis. Have the Epi-pen handy.
About the exposure: Amy Miller does the full frontal tango whereas Charissa shows off only what her surgeon gave her.
- Amy Miller
- Charissa Thompson
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Today for our "Hankster Light" section, we feature the delicious Elizabeth
Hurley showing pokies, cleavage and also her very lovely breasts in scenes from "The Weight of Water". This woman is so sensual she just blows my mind.
Next up we have our "Damsel in Distress". For this one we took the old Time Machine all the way back to 1968 for a peek at Vincene
Wallace in a black and white flick "A Sweet Sickness". Our pretty victim is hand gagged and chloroformed by the bad guy. During the process she exposes a boob.
- Vincene Wallace
|LC takes a look at the Robert Rodriguez movie "Sin City". Both ladies look great topless, and Gugino also adds a bit of rear nudity. Look for it on DVD August 16th.
||Here is the Spanish born dancer-turned-actress in her undies and briefly topless in a shower scene from the French movie "L'Empire des loups" (currently in some Euro-theaters). Fans of the "Blade" movies may recognize her from the first film.
|Two first timers get topless in a couple of scenes from the 2005, direct-to-vid flick movie "Snapped". Co-written by and starring Michael Bien. Not to be confused with "Terminator" star Michael Biehn.
||Glori-Anne showing off her robo-big'uns and a thong view in scenes from "Sea Ghost" (2004), directed by Fun House hero, Jim Wynorski.
||The Swedish born babe that many of you will remember as the topless beauty from "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle". Here she is showing some serious pokies on the new HBO series "The Comeback".
|Mr. Nude Celeb
|Hunter still looking great au naturale at age 45! Here she is topless, showing a bit of pubes and getting an Oscar nomination for her role in "Thirteen" (2003).
|A few sexy scenes from one of the best movies of 2004, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Winslet shows off her striped undies in #1 and gets wonderfully groped in #2. Dunst dances around in a tank top and undies in #1 and shows off almost a full breast in a side/rear view in #2.
|A brief bit of breast exposure during a love scene from the semi-controversial film "Birth". For those who have already forgot about this one (and that's most of us), this was was the one with Nicole 'nude' in a bath tub scene with a 10 year old boy. Here are the reviews by Scoop and Tuna.
|Both ladies look great topless and showing off a bit o' bum in scenes from 1998's "Dark Confessions", directed by Czechsploitation filmmaker, Lloyd A. Simandl.
|The Skin-man serves up a few 'caps of Chloë topless and giving a real BJ on screen in a scene from the much talked about Vincent Gallo movie "The Brown Bunny" (2003). Here's Scoop's full coverage.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MICHAEL JACKSON TRIAL: THE AFTERMATH
But His Shower Is Still Open For Business! - Following Michael Jackson's
acquittal, his attorney Thomas Mesereau said that Jackson will no longer
let boys sleep in his bedroom "because it makes him vulnerable to false
And real ones, which are even more expensive to get out of.
From this point on, HE sleeps in THEIR bedrooms!
He would've quit in 1993, but he likes paying hush money because he's
just so darn charitable.
To ease the withdrawal pains, he's wearing something like a nicotine
patch, only it's a Boy Scout patch.
They Framed Michael! - Jackson's camp demanded that D.A. Tom
Sneddon return police photos of Michael's penis, accusing him of wanting to
leak them to the press. Sneddon dismissed it as nonsense, saying those are
sheriff's photos, only three people have access to them, and he's not one
There's the sheriff, the photographer, and the people at eBay.
Trust me, nobody wants Michael's penis to leak.
They don't want Michael's penis put under the microscope where everyone
can see it.
Last Resort - Las Vegas tycoon Jack Wishna is reportedly offering Jackson
an $80 million deal to play for a year at a new resort and casino he's
building on the Strip. He said, "America loves a comeback story, and what
better platform to showcase such a comeback than a new show in a new
Well, there's Branson, but Michael can forget about that.
Michael would fit in better at Circus Circus.
Best of all, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!
$80 million? He'd blow that in one day at the Vegas Toys R Us!
COMING THIS FALL: SKATING CELEBRITIES
The "D" Is For "Dance!" - The New York Post reports that ABC's "Dancing
With The Stars," in which D-list celebrities take lessons and then compete
in a ballroom dancing contest, is such a surprise hit, it's already being
ripped off. Fox TV announced a new series called "Skating with
Celebrities." A spokesman said, "If it's interesting to see celebrities
ballroom dancing, it's going to be incredibly interesting to see if they
can master a double axel and a spin." He said they expect "a lot of
And during sweeps week, plenty of broken legs.
D-list celebrities on skates? At last, a job for Tonya Harding!
They're on thin ice just CALLING some of those people "celebrities."
I think I'll wait for the WB to do "Skydiving With Ben Affleck."