Friday

Update

Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated

 

Deadwood

 Season Three

Here are the rest of the videos from Deadwood, Season Three. The one I identified yesterday as "whore," thinking it might be Cynthia Ettinger, is actually Sarah B. Lund, a professional wardrobe person who has never acted in anything else.

BONUS: Here is Robin Weigert (Calamity Jane) working as an exotic dancer in The Good German.

 

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Sex Hex

Sex Hex (2006) is a soft core spoof ... or something

It is supposed to be about a new breed of bloodless vampire who works by day. Here, because they probably didn't bother with a treatment or a script, for the first time ever, is the detailed treatment.

TREATMENT

Show pathetic annoying jerk, aka Carl the vampire slayer.

New girl comes for job interview. She and the interviewer do it, the receptionist watches topless, then the new girl dies. Interviewer feels bad about that, and the receptionist takes her to a shrink.

Show pathetic annoying jerk

Insert fart joke

Girl/girl with Darian Caine and AJ Khan. AJ seems to have added boobage, has a nasty scar on her right knee, and has new ink.

Show pathetic annoying jerk

Girl/Girl with the doctor and the interviewer. The receptionist watches topless. Interviewer has appendectomy scar. Doctor has flame tattoos around nipples, and lots of other ink. Breast implants went in through the nipples and areolae. Both die.

Weirdo discovers bodies and calls pathetic annoying jerk, who is dreaming about a topless woman.

Pathetic annoying jerk investigates by stealing a pair of panties. Also states, "One of two things is going on. Either we have a new super breed of vampire who doesn't need fangs, but uses sex acts to drain all life force from her victims, or this movie is too cheap to buy fangs."

Topless receptionist performs some secret vampire ritual.

Show pathetic annoying jerk. Receptionist shows her tits and tries to seduce him.

Topless receptionist does Darian Caine. Darian dies.

Show pathetic annoying jerk. He falls asleep and dreams about topless receptionist. Call wakes him.

Insert fart joke.

Topless receptionist performs some secret vampire ritual. Uses voodoo doll against pathetic annoying jerk.

Topless receptionist, who is now boss, does AJ Khan.

Pathetic annoying jerk shows up, topless receptionist fades to nothing.

Pathetic annoying jerk delivers summary.

End TREATMENT

Oh I probably should have warned you about a spoiler. Not that it matters.

Since this is basically a sex film, you're wondering if the film redeemed itself with sexual heat. Nah. The photography is out of focus, and there are too many closeups of body parts and incessant cross-fades.

If you have never seen a movie you didn't like, you wouldn't like this one.

F.

Sabrina Faire, Sativa Verte, Jackie Stevens, Molly Heartbreaker, AJ Khan and Darian Caine show everything. An unknown shows breasts.

IMDb hasn't heard of this.

 

Sabrina Faire

 

 

Sativa Verte

 

 

Jackie Stevens

 

Molly Heartbreaker

 

AJ Kahn

 

Darian Caine

 

unknown

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dish Dogs

 

Shannon Elizabeth, American Pie's Nadia, in an earlier movie, one shot prior to her boob job. She still looks  plenty sexy as she plays a stripper, which gives us a look at those tiny titties. There's more topless action in the caps from the "Special Features" and music video.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Helen Mirren - Day 10

The Cook, The Thief ... , Part 1 of 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vete de mi (Get Away From Me)

2006

Español

Santiago nunca ha sido protagonista de nada... ni de teatro, ni de cine, ni siquiera de su propia vida. Pero Santiago nunca pensó que alojar en su casa a su treintañero hijo Guillermo durante unos días cambiaría tanto su vida... "Vete de mí" es un baile de máscaras "familiar", de encuentros y desencuentros entre dos egoístas congénitos: un mentiroso compulsivo que logra alterar el ya de por sí frágil estado mental de los familiares que le rodean y un actor de reparto venido a menos que descubre de golpe que su vida es una mentira.

English

The aging actor Santiago has never been the hero of anything, not in a play, or a movie, or even in his own life. But Santiago never dreamed that taking his thirtyish son into his house would change all that. It's a dance of masks, the coming together and falling apart of two family members: a pathological liar who manages to upset the already fragile mental state of his relatives, and an elderly actor immersed in self-pity and his own sense of failure.
 

Christina Plazas

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Big Bad Wolf

Let's be honest. You can't really take werewolf movies too seriously, so at least they should be fun. Writer/director Lance Dreesen made sure of that by making his werewolf a horny, wisecracking werewolf, and some of his lines are hilarious. This lighthearted approach made the whole movie very enjoyable, and a cut above most werewolf movies.

Derek is pledging a fraternity, so to impress the brothers, he takes a couple of them and their girlfriends to his stepfather's cabin to party. They are attacked by a strange wolf-man looking beast who has a great deal of fun in killing four of them. Only Derek and his motorcycle riding, metal piercings wearing, mechanic friend Sam (short for Samantha) escape.

Derek's step dad is not his friend, and once he returns home, he begins to suspect good ole' step dad is involved somehow. He and Sam start to investigate, and things get pretty scary, leading to a showdown in the cabin.

This is a cool horror flick with some really good laughs along the way, and plenty of gore for those who like their horror wet and wild.

Robin Sydney Sarah Christine Shannon Malone

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hard Luck


Lucky (Wesley Snipes) is an ex-con who wants to go straight. After a botched stakeout, Lucky finds himself with $500,000 and an accomplice named Angela (Jackie Quinones). Now they are on the run from corrupt cops and Captain Davis (Mario Van Peebles), who has an old score to settle with Lucky.

Scoop's note: this obscure film made our annual best nude scenes list - mostly on the strength of a great booty from Quinones.

 

Jackie Quinones

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger stunned the National Association of Hispanic Journalists convention in San Jose when he advised immigrants, "You've got to turn off the Spanish television set" and avoid Spanish-language books and newspapers.  He said, "You've got to learn English.  I know this sounds odd and this is the politically incorrect thing to say and I'm going to get myself in trouble.  But I know that when I came to this country, I very rarely spoke German to anyone."

*  Yeah, if you're going to live in America, you should learn to speak English as well as our leaders, Arnold Schwarzenegger and George W. Bush!



Angelina Jolie sparked media outrage over the premiere of her new movie, "A Mighty Heart," in which she plays the widow of Daniel Pearl, the slain Middle East reporter who is a hero of freedom of the press.  Jolie demanded that interviewers sign a contract dictating the questions they could ask her and agreeing that if they violated it, she could withhold the tape, sue, and get a restraining order.  She also demanded that Fox News be barred because she doesn't like their politics.  When reporters began canceling interviews, the studio overruled Jolie. Ironically, the premiere was a benefit for the press
freedom group "Reporters Without Borders." 

*  It will now benefit a group of Hollywood celebrities called "Hypocrisy Without Limits."