Other Crap:

The Trailer for Brothers of The Head
  • "Brothers of the Head is the feverish, mind-bending odyssey of conjoined twins Tom and Barry Howe who were plucked from obscurity by a 1970s music promoter and groomed into a boy band. Grappling with impossible love, artistic rivalry and a dark inner life, the twins embrace their freakishness and spit it back in the form of searing Punk Rock."

The teaser and three clips from Jackass: Number Two

'Wonderful Life' tops AFI's inspiring film list, just edging out Cannibal Holocaust.

Head lice 'are becoming indestructible'

Scientists respond to Gore's warnings of climate catastrophe

Your own personal virtual bubblewrap. (Try manic mode.)

The Norman Rockwell Code Movie (DaVinci Code Parody)

Vice President Cheney Issues Wise, Diplomatic Response to Senator Specter's Shrill, Childish Letter Protesting Domestic Spying (Humor from WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

"Eminem will return to the big screen in an updated version of the television Western 'Have Gun - Will Travel.'"

  • He'll have to do some acting on this one. Paladin was a Shakespeare-quotin' opera buff!

ELEVEN clips from Superman Returns (The site was slow, obviously inundated with traffic, when I visited)

Two looks - some hi-res versions of the pics Tuna discussed yesterday in his review of Thinking XXX (Side by side looks at porn stars with/without their clothing)

This week's movies (about 3000 screens): Nacho Libre - 25% positive reviews.

  • You young guys deserve Jack Black. For years, young people have been asking me "How the hell did you old farts ever make Dudley Moore a major star?" Now your generation has its own Dudley Moore to deal with.

This week's movies (about 3000 screens): The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift - 63% positive reviews, including plusses from Variety and Hollywood Reporter.

  • Wow! I am flabbergasted. Without knowing a single thing about this movie, I was expecting something more in the range of 0% or lower.

Get your own racer nickname from the Talledega Nights website

  • Apparently I am the Go-rilla.

The trailer for The Great New Wonderful, a story about rebuilding after 9/11

Britney Spears going to Namibia to give birth

  • Ah, the internet! ChinaDaily is reporting this as a real story. It was a spoof from the satire site at ""
  • ChinaDaily might have been a bit suspicious of a writer named Biff Scuzzy, or perhaps the accompanying story: "Paul McCartney's Top Ten Signs Your Wife's a One-Legged Hooker."
  • Original story

GORE FILM BECOMES MAKE-OUT MOVIE OF THE SUMMER ... Global Warming Means Hot Loving at the Multiplex

  • "I whisper into her ear, ‘Al Gore may say that the world is ending, but baby, we’ve still got tonight.’"

Colbert on wiretapping: The government is giving you free caller ID ... that they're the only ones who get to look at.

Jack the cat attacks a bear - and gets Colbert's Brass Bells Award

Colbert talks to climate change expert Tim Flannery

Colbert gets out his checkbook to pay the FCC the new, increased obscenity fines.

"Colbert Report: Stephen Jr.'s Growing Up Fast. You know what big talons mean..."

Jon Stewart talks to RNC chairman Ken Mehlman

Daily Show: "Shortly after Bill O'Reilly visited Gitmo, three inmates killed themselves."

The Daily Show: "When John Bolton gets angry, he becomes... THE WALRUS!"

The Daily Show: "Said the Iraqi Prime Minister to Bush: If I'd known you were coming I'd have built an infrastructure!"

In the latest edition of the Marvel comic 'Civil War', Spiderman does the unthinkable and removes his Spidey mask to publicly reveal his hidden identity.

"A gunman shot and killed two soccer fans after complaining they were cheering too loud during a broadcast of Italy's World Cup opener against Ghana"

More Soccer Wives & Girlfriends

Not news: Home Depot sells a bathroom vanity - News: with a street value of $145,000!

How do you successfully promote a crappy-ass sequel (to a crappy-ass sequel) that nobody wants to see? The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift has finally figured it out. Tokyo Drift Babes!!

Even if you're 80, it's STILL good to be the king: The Kandyland Party 2006 at the Playboy Mansion

World Cup Fever: "The Simpsons go to a soccer game between Mexico and Portugal to determine the world's champion."

From the Boston Herald: Hey, fake Red Sox fans: Make like Damon and leave

A tip from Cheerleader Guy: Why should you watch the NBA playoffs? The Heat dancers

Wrigley Field, the last big league stadium to install lights, will be the first to go wireless.

"New Volvo technology has made a way for cars to brake automatically when they get too close to another object."

Do you have what it takes to work for Ari Gold? Take the test and find out.

The video and the story behind "Hadji girl"

  • The BBC describes it as follows: "The US marines have launched a probe into a video posted on the internet that apparently shows a marine singing about the killing of Iraqi civilians."

Gallup: Bush Job Approval rises from 34 to 38

Why Goalies Hate the New World Cup Soccer Ball

White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove will NOT be indicted in the CIA leak investigation

eBay has now registered 200 million users!!!

Jessica Biel's legendary nude and topless spread in Gear Magazine




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



Thanks to the many who identified Janine Lindemulder as the "unknown" from yesterday's collages. Here's the corrected ID:



Ellie Parker (2001-2005)

Ellie Parker is not a film I enjoyed, and I don't really want to talk about it, so let's talk about I film I did like, Parenthood. Even though Steve Martin can be over the top, I adored that film because the subject matter had to do with the trials of being a parent, something I was all too familiar with at the time. Thus, nearly every scene and every word of dialogue resonated with me. I felt the same way about Planes, Trains and Automobiles, as I was traveling extensively on business when I saw that film, and had nearly been snowed in at Atlanta airport for Christmas.

I would imagine a childless couple would find Parenthood a slow watch, and someone who has never traveled would not be rolling on the floor as I was when Steve Martin takes on the rental car clerk. A humorous telling of the trials and tribulations of any experience common to a group of people usually makes for a good comedy for people in that group.

Unfortunately, Ellie Parker is about an Australian wannabe actress living in LA with a jerk musician boyfriend. She has an analyst, a best friend who competes for roles, and a strange agent (a cameo appearance by Chevy Chase). He life consists of lots of auditions, but no roles.  Naomi Watts plays Ellie.  a challenging role for her in that she got to play many different characters in auditions. I am a big fan of Naomi, and think Tank Girl is the best comic book movie ever made, partially due to her inspired performance. She shines in Ellie Parker as well, but I simply couldn't relate to this material, because of a lack of common experience with her character.

The film was originally shown as a short in 2001 at Sundance, and got a favorable reception. Based on that, the auteur kept shooting shorts based on other episodes in the life of the same characters, and eventually had enough to cobble together a feature length film. Technically, the film is a disaster, and for anyone who gets through the entire film without spewing their dinner all over their home theater, there are numerous deleted scenes that are even worse, but despite simply incompetent camera work, it is probably acceptable to people who can relate to the situations, and fans of Hollywood insider comedy in general. The film is probably funny if you have experiences in common with Ellie, and I would guess that people in the industry might find it hilarious, thus making it a C- on our scale.  IMDb readers say 5.5.

As for me, Tank Girl remains my favorite Naomi Watts film.

Naomi Watts shows a breast, and maybe a hint of bush, in a toilet and bathtub scene.


Quenchless Desire (1993)

Ching gip was Hong Kong's answer to Fatal Attraction. You all know the basic story but, in true Category III style, they manage a few wrinkles.

Our hero, Wai, is head of a luxury car dealership, and is happily married with a young daughter. His best friend aims to screw a different woman every night. In the opening scene, Wai arrives to meet his philandering friend, and is attacked by a scissors-wielding crazy woman who severed her lover's penis, and is now after all penises. This is a foreshadowing of things to come.

One night at a party for an important Japanese client, two great looking women show up. The randy friend picks up one of the women and has his way with her. The other (Usang Yeong Fang) is interested in Wai, but he resists. His resolve is short-lived. When Wai's wife has to go away for a wedding, he gets lonesome and gets together with Usang. Big mistake. He wakes up on the morning that his wife is to return and finds himself wearing a titanium chastity belt. Usang starts off with minor annoyances - like kidnapping their daughter - but eventually gets really irritating.

This is a C. This is a fairly fast watch with good nudity and some nicely demented twists on the story.

IMDb does not yet have a vote count, and there are no linked reviews.

The flubtitles are not worth showing you, but include, "I cut! You stink man. I hate you most." "I must beat you, bitch." "Nut, dare you beat my wife?"


Usang Yeong Fang shows everything in several sex scenes.
The highlight of the party scene is a huge serving of sushi using a naked woman as a serving dish. An unknown (the other one of the two from the party) shows everything having sex with the best friend.







Brinke Stevens shows her breasts in the Helix "Gimme Good Lovin'" video.

Brinke Stevens shows her bum in Bad Girls From Mars

Gloria Guida in a bikini in The Bermuda Triangle

Eva Larue Callahan - bikini underwear in Crash and Burn

Julie Strain stark naked from various angles in Survival of the Prettiest

Lisa Comshaw topless in Survival of the Prettiest

Strain and Comshaw very naked together in Survival of the Prettiest

Katherine Armstrong topless in Crash and Burn

Kristy Swanson in Bad to the Bone (no nudity)

Megan Ward in Crash and Burn (no nudity)

Monique Parent topless in Point Dume

Renee Rea naked in Stolen Kisses

Shannon Whirry exposes a full-sized bum in Playback

Stacy Q and her "Screaming in my Pillow" video

Tawny Kitaen topless in Playback

Teri Copley in I Married a Centerfold (non-nude)

Traci Lords topless in the Helix "Gimme Good Lovin'"

Tracy Ryan nekkid in Stolen Kisses

Tracy Ryan and Renee Rea nekkid in Stolen Kisses

Unknown in Erotic Dreams







These are the last caps of Dahlia Grey in Wet (1998). Either as advertisement or fair warning, I should mention that some of the images define the term "gynocam." As before, the gal who is paying all that attention to Dahlia is erstwhile pornstar Avalon, who does B movies as Tracy Smith and Tracy Ryan.








Today a Hankster "Grab Bag".

First up a topless Natalie Radford messing around in bed in "Agent Red."


Next Tomomi Miyashita as a topless "Babe in Chains" in "Marebito."


Then a "Babes in Bondage" fest from "When a Killer Calls." (Not great quality -  all scenes too dark.)

A clothed Isabella Bodnar gets a knife down the throat.

Sarah Hall cleavage as the killer slices up her breasts.

Rebekah Kochan gets strung up and gets her tits exposed. Then the killer makes her boy friend, who has been beaten to a pulp, suck on them, leaving blood all over them. (Rebekah is the only girl to survive.)





A slightly better version of Toni Braxton's wardrobe malfunction at the World Cup

A zipped .avi of Irene Miracle in Watchers II. She is famous for her "breast against the glass" scene in Midnight Express. The Watchers II scene, which is three minutes long, was filmed twelve years after Midnight Express, but I think she looks gorgeous.

The collage below shows what the all-blue, day-for-night scene might have looked like originally. (I say "might" because all color adjustments like this are approximations.)

Two nude scenes done by Irene Miracle before 1978's Midnight Express. First, Night Train Murders (1975) ...

and finally, Irene Miracle in La Portiera Nuda (1976)

Pat's comments in yellow...

A labor panel awarded Sivanadian Perananthasivam of Sydney, Australia, medical expenses and workers' comp after he missed three months of work due to emotional distress that included migraines, crying, nightmares and a fear of answering the phone.  He claimed the psychiatric disorder was triggered by abuse from his bosses, such as being told to "park your little arse in that chair."

*  They also made him wear a name tag - that was three feet long.

Jennifer Love Hewitt says she's thrilled her TV show "Ghost Whisperer" is a hit because that means she doesn't have to show her boobs in a movie.  Fans are so obsessed with her large breasts, they have their own Internet fan site; and Hewitt says before her TV hit, she was swamped with offers to do movies with topless scenes.  But she said she's had to share so much with the public over the last decade, from hair colors to weight fluctuations to her love life, that "my naked body shouldn't have to be out there in
the public.  I need something that's mine alone."

*  Tell you what: If she'll do topless scenes, I'm willing to let her hair
color tips be hers alone.

*  So the point of this story is that we all need to stop watching "Ghost

*  Even the male ghosts keep whispering, "Show us your gazongas!"

*  In every interview, she mentions how tired she is of people talking about
her large breasts, which she then talks about.

The DVD of Steve Martin's "Cheaper by the Dozen" was released May 26, and police in Beckley, West Virginia, say that within 24 hours, thieves had hit at least three local Wal-Marts and stolen 122 copies of it.  Similar thefts were reported in two nearby towns and in Virginia. Surveillance video showed a man and women entering a store, being joined by three accomplices, stuffing a storage box with "Cheaper" DVDs, and escaping out
the back door to a waiting van.

*  Police are baffled...So are movie critics.

Eminem has signed to star in a big screen version of the classic TV western, "Have Gun, Will Travel."  Details have yet to be decided, but it will probably be updated to modern-day Detroit with only loose connections to the original.  That seems likely, since the original "Have Gun, Will Travel" starred Richard Boone as gun-for-hire Paladin, who liked to sip brandy, quote Shakespeare, listen to opera, play chess and use violence only as a last resort.

*  The only thing that will remain in Eminem's version: the gun.