"Liane, Jungle Goddess"
Liane, Jungle Goddess (1956) is a West German white princess found in jungle story. Of course she got there after a shipwreck, of course she is heir to a shipping fortune, and of course she falls in love with the scientist who finds her. What makes this one somewhat unique, is that in addition to the native breasts on display, Marion Michael as the White Princess shows breasts through most of the first half of the film. We also have the typical National Geographic Wildlife scenes.
IMDb readers have this at 5.6 of 10. Everything about it is very much as expected of the genre, making it a C.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Be Cool (2004):
From my mailbox:
"Dude, take another look at Be Cool. When Uma is getting up while
sunbathing, take another look between her legs. She's covering her
left boob with her hand but you get a fair shot at her right boob
danglin' down as she gets up. Only about 4 frames but it's there. "
Coyote Ugly (2000):
There is good news and bad news about the new "unrated extended
cut" of Coyote Ugly.
- The good news: there is a nude love scene.
- The bad news: in order to see that scene, you will have to
watch Coyote Ugly.
I'm not sure if this is the single stupidest script ever written.
It is probably not as downright dumb as The Skulls, for example, but
it's a contender. Amazingly, it survived scathing reviews to become
a mini-hit with a domestic gross of $60 million. It's a chick-flick
for young teens and tweeners, and it managed to find its target
It's a film with an easily identifiable Robbins Recipe. If
you're a movie buff, you know what I mean. The Tim Robbins character in
The Player was a studio exec with the knack to describe any movie pitch
in a pithy reference to previous movies. A hopeful scriptwriter would
pitch him an idea and he'd say something like, "So, it's kind of a
Saving Private Ryan meets Manos, the Hands of Fate?" The Robbins Recipe for Coyote Ugly
"Cocktail meets Flashdance, with
just a dash of Little Voice."
I got too complex
with that Robbins Recipe. James Berardinelli wrote
more succinctly, "It's Showgirls without the nudity."
... and the depth!
A sweet little Middle-America tootsie with a perpetually
bewildered expression goes
to New York City to become a famous songwriter in the general
style of Carole King. She has no agent, no contacts, and no idea how one
becomes a songwriter. She finds out that the only hope
for her is to sing her own songs at open mike nights, but
she can't do that because she has a bad case of stage fright. She is desperate,
doesn't know where to turn, is living without hope or
income in a seedy cold water flat. She takes a job at one
of those show bars where the bottle-spinning bartenders
also dance on the tables. Her conservative father walks into the bar,
sees her wearing a t-shirt while horny drunks pour water
quiz. How does it end?
One of the following:
- She uses her meager
bartender earnings to buy dope. Her dad commits
suicide when he leaves the bar. When she hears
about her father, she O.D's, and the police find
her in the gutter in the rain, her hands
clutching the only demo tape of her songs. The
police don't know who she is, and her toe tag
reads, "Jane Doe". The camera pulls
back to show the squalor of lower Manhattan. The
- She is forced to
return to Upper Lower Amboy, New Jersey,
where she works as a waitress, gets married, has
a couple kids, takes a few junior college
classes, sews her own clothes, and is really
popular on Karaoke night in the local bowling
alley lounge. Sometimes she writes and sings
songs at the local elementary school on Earth
Day, and she sings at all her family weddings
- She becomes a
popular bartender, overcomes her stage fright by
singing along with the juke box in the show bar,
gets a new hairstyle and wardrobe, cleans up as a
flat-out fox, gets some gigs, finds the perfect
hunky boyfriend, wins her dad's forgiveness, and is a massive hit in her stage debut
her loved ones show her all their love during her
which do you think it was?
you like the song "I Will Survive"?
Here's your movie.
good are the songs that the star sings and writes? Imagine
Debby Boone singing "You Light Up My
Life." Then subtract all of Debby's get-down
soul, world-weary blues, and hard-drivin' funk
shallow, insubstantial bartenders make fun of the
shallow, insubstantial nature of Playmates. They
have a game where they try to guess the
Playmate's favorite movies. ("Saving Private
Ryan" is a winner.) We all know that bar-dancing bartenders
are so much deeper than Playmates. Here's a tip to the screenwriter.
All of those Playmates are brainier, deeper, and more sincere than
- The bar packs in
people tighter than sardines, and they
occasionally pour booze on the bar and set it on
fire to accentuate their dance routines. Luckily,
the fire marshal is around, and imposes a stern
glance and a $250 fine for their hijinks!
- The tough-talkin'
but soft-hearted owner of the bar has long since
forgotten what it was like when she was growing up in Piedmont, North Dakota.
In fact, she's forgotten that Piedmont is in South
final line in the film is , "what do you do
when you realize all you dreams have come
little tootsie's best friend in Jersey looks just
like Monica Lewinsky, and the actress' real name
is "Lynskey" - hmmmm .....
title, if you don't know, comes from the tendency
of coyotes to chew off their legs in order to
free themselves from a trap. If a man wakes up with a
"coyote ugly" woman sleeping on his arm, he will chew
it off rather than wake her up.
- I thought Dish Dogs would win the Year 2000
award for best fat guy cheesecake, with Brian Dennehy in a
skin-tight wet suit, but that was easily eclipsed by John Goodman
dancing on a bar and dropping his pants.
- Here's another
example of the lack of reality in today's cinema. John
Goodman was hit by a car. He was hurt, and the
car was OK.
- Piper Perabo collages (1,
- Piper's full love scene in a zipped .wmv. (There may be body
doubling here. It does look like the same breasts from Lost and
Delirious, but the camera cuts to a close up every time Piper's
breasts are about to appear in a frame with her face.)
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Here are a few more Heffers in our Day Two round up of babes from the DVD "Mystique Lingerie: The Secret
As I mentioned yesterday, he format of the DVD is to take each woman and show her off in a bunch of photos and then in a 4-5 minute-long
live-action clip. Light on the action, heavy on the posing invitingly.
- Jessica Lee...the Heffer for August '96 posing topless. (We also get so see some thong views in #9). A few years ago Lee did a little "acting" on the late night cable series "Thrills" as well as on "The Man Show".
- Kalin Olson, (August '97) also posing topless and showing a bit of bum (#1 and #8)
- October '98 Heffer Laura Cover shows the most in today's batch. We have toplessness everywhere, plus bum (links 1,7,11 and 13) and even some frontal views (links 3 and 9).
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Today we have both a "Babes in Bondage" and a "Hankster Light" day.
First up we have the Original Buffy, Kristy Swanson in scenes from the straight-to-vid thriller "Bound by
Lies". Kristy is tied up with her arms overhead in a consensual scene, sadly she is not
naked. The last cap is without the ropes with decent cleavage.
- Kristy Swanson
The "Hankster Light" portion of the show today features a stark naked Glori-Anne
Gilbert in love making scenes from the recent release, "Lust Connection". This one is
directed by Jim Wynorski, so you just know it will have gobs of nudity.
- Glori-Anne Gilbert
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Stripes" (Extended Edition)
Outstanding, classic 1981 comedy is back in a new extended edition, with 15 minutes of material added (some of which includes nudity).
Bill Murray plays a loser cab driver who talks his best friend into enlisting with him in the Army. By the end of the movie, the Army is much the worse for wear, since the pair almost succeed in starting World War 3. Hey forget the plot, it's just damned funny, and deserves to be called a classic.
To be honest, except for P. J. Sole's nudity, which was great, I'm not sure the added material benefited the movie, because it tended to make things a little draggy. Even worse, the picture quality, especially in some of the added scenes, was really bad, surprisingly bad. The masters must be in tough shape.
Even with all that, this is a top-notch comedy that rates a second look, even if you saw the original.
|Excellent 'caps by Mr. Nude Celeb of Kate topless in that sinking boat movie.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the B-movie Queen topless (with her restored-to-factory specs chest) while being stabbed in scenes from the most recent in the Hellraiser series "Hellraiser: Deader" (2005).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MICHAEL JACKSON ACQUITTED
Proof Beyond Doubt That They're Idiots - Monday, Michael Jackson's jury
found him not guilty on all ten counts of child molestation, conspiracy and
giving alcohol to minors. Some jurors later said they believed he had
molested children, but they hadn't been convinced beyond a reasonable doubt
that he molested this one. One juror said she didn't like the way the
accuser's mother snapped her fingers at them, while another said she didn't
like the way the mother stared at them.
But the way Michael Jackson molested children didn't strike them as all
And if the accuser's mom is a twit, you must acquit!
Michael will celebrate by throwing a jamboree...A Cub Scout jamboree.
It just shows that you can get away with anything in California if
you're rich, famous and white.
The Reporters Don't Know Where To Go Next - TV reporters turned the brief
reading of the verdict into an endless drama, using helicopters to show
Jackson's motorcade of black SUVs driving all the way to the court, and all
the way home again after it was over, just to see where he'd go next.
My guess is, his bedroom.
He jetted off to Florida, where O.J. Simpson is going to help him find
the REAL molester.
Like all victorious celebrities, he's goin' to Disney World!... Except
he's the only star who hangs around the Tea Cup ride with a fistful of
For the first time in months, Michael got a good night's rest, snuggled
between his Blanket and Pillow, or whatever he nicknamed the two boys he
MADONNA ADMITS OVERDOING THE SEX
Lady Madonna - Madonna admitted to Ladies Home Journal that she may have
misled her young fans by pushing her explicit sexual image too far. She
said, "One minute I was saying believe in yourself," and don't judge
yourself by how sexy you look, "and the next minute I was saying just be
sexually provocative for the sake of being sexually provocative. I was
letting it pump up my ego, thinking, 'Aren't I great, they're writing about
me, my picture's on the cover of every magazine, I'm so fabulous.'" She
said she now realizes she hurt herself by "being overtly sexual for the
sake of showing off, when I didn't need to be."
She could've gotten ahead by relying on her acting talent.
And few people have showed off more than Madonna did.
This all dawned on her the day her own daughter walked in dressed like
That was just how she got press then...The way this is how she gets
And now, it's hard to be taken seriously at the PTA meetings.
PARIS HILTON PLANS TO QUIT PUBLIC LIFE
A Public Announcement Of Her Plans To Go Private - Paris Hilton told
Newsweek that in two years, she plans to be a wife and mother and give up
public life. She said, "I don't enjoy going out anymore. It's such a
pain. It's everyone saying, `Let's do a deal! Can I have a picture?' I'm
just, like, `These people are such losers. I can't believe I used to love
In four years, she'll be saying the same thing about motherhood.
So why doesn't she go ahead and give up public life RIGHT NOW?
She'll give up public life as soon as she sells the DVD rights to the
video of her wedding night, honeymoon and birth of her first kid.
DEMI MOORE TO POSE NUDE AGAIN
Summer Rerun Season - Demi Moore plans to pose naked on the cover of Vanity
Fair again at age 42, fifteen years after she appeared on it naked and very
pregnant. This time, she will pose with Ashton Kutcher, although it wasn't
clear if he'll also be naked.
Only if he's pregnant.
Wouldn't he have to get parental permission first?