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Tuna
"Rollerball"

Rollerball (2002) is being released next week in a special edition DVD, and a new R cut of the film, with an additional 10 minutes of footage. The additional 10 minutes contains breast exposure from Romijn-Stamos, and several unidentified female players and party girls. That brings the total of watchable minutes in this film to 10. This remake had a good chance of being better than the original, as it was not that string a film, but they seemed determined to make the most unwatchable film they could. The music and cuts are jarring, the plot is pretty much non-existent, much of the film is shot in green noise, there is very little actual Rollerball action, and the dialogue is full of fake Russian.

IMDB voters have this at 2.8 of 10. It grossed $19m against a budget of $70. Ebert gave 1/2 star, and Berardinelli one star. The 10 additional minutes are an improvement, now they just need to lose the other 90 minutes. F.

  • Thumbnails

  • Rebecca Romijn-Stamos (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "The Babysitter"

    The Babysitter (1995) is about the obsession of two teenagers, and a grown man, with babysitter Alicia Silverstone. She is sitting for a couple bound for a party. Both the man and woman drink to much and weigh too much. Silverstone's boyfriend, and a school acquaintance who happens to be the son of the couple giving the party try to plot a way to get in her pants. Also, one of the kids she is sitting, about 9 or 10, wants to see her naked. Most of the film involves these 4 males fantasizing about her, mostly in the tub. Through all of this, Silverstone stays covered. We do have brief breast exposure from Tuesday Knight as a waitress that one of the guys has had sex with.

    When the film isn't confusing us with fantasies, it is repulsing us with such delights as a kid puking all over the side of a Porshe, the father passing out in his car, and the mother making a drunken play for her host at the party. IMDB scores this 4.2 of 10, and no major critics have bothered writing about it. Rumor has it that Silverstone turned the part down several times, until they removed her nude scenes from the script, thus deleting the only possible thing of merit in this project. D.

  • Thumbnails

  • Tuesday Knight (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Movies:

    Warm Summer Rain has still not been released on DVD. How could that be? Here are some scenes to remind you why it should be on DVD. If you look at the top left image of the second .jpg, you'll see that they were coming pretty damned close to doin' it for real.

    • Kelly Lynch (1, 2, 3, 4)

    There is good news and bad news about the Rollerball DVD. The bad news: it includes the Rollerball movie. The good news: at least it includes the r-rated version, and not the theatrical PG.

    • Rebecca Romijn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • various other people (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Storytelling is the controversial new Todd Solondz movie. Selma Blair is certainly a slim little woman, isn't she? I was shocked to find that she will be 30 years old the week after next. Could that be right?

    • Selma Blair (1, 2, 3)

    Mr Skin did a few of the rarely-capped scenes in Sylvia Kristel's career

    • Lady Chatterley's Lover (1, 2, 3)
    • Tigers in Lipstick (1, 2, 3)

     

    Other crap:

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Hankster
    Scoop,

    Today we have 'caps from another gem in my blockbuster video collection, "The Backlot Murders". Nancy O'Brien flashes her lovely breasts, but then of course, the psycho killer gets her.

    • Nancy O'Brien (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Next up, a few more "Babes in Peril" from those old time detective magazine covers.

    • Detective Covers (1, 2, 3)

    Variety
    Katie Holmes Katie's all too brief, but gorgeous topless scenes from "The Gift". 'Caps by Helcrom.

    Xenia Seeberg
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Star of the sci-fi series "Lexx" in excellent scans by Primal from the German FHM. The highlights are:
  • #1 See-thru nipple sightings
  • #3 Fully nude with only a semi-transparent black thing covering her up.
  • #4 White undies with a partial thong view
  • #5 The required FH-Maxim hands over boobs pose.

  • Nicole Kidman
    (1, 2)

    Vidcaps from "Eyes Wide Shut", by nmd. Great see-thur/pokies in link #1, topless and being groped in link #2.

    Natasha Henstridge
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Tomkru 'caps of Henstridge baring some skin in the hard to find flick, "Bela Donna". Links 5,6,7,8,9 and 10 show breasts, and possible pube views.

    Alexandra Schalaudek The German actress topless in scenes from "Die Wunde", by Slartibartfast.

    Sharon Stone Nude shower scene with Stallone in "The Specialist", by HBS.

    Kirsten Dunst No nudity, but she still looks very nice in these scenes from "The Virgin Suicides". Vidcaps by HBS.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Yet another celebrity album that fans will buy for the cover. The headline makes it sound like she'll be hosting the release party bare naked, which is a good idea if they want to sell any of them. They'd better include a poster, too. Those tiny CDs just don't do the job the way 12-inch LPs used to...


    Jennifer Love Hewitt to Release Album 'BareNaked'
    LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Movie and television star Jennifer Love Hewitt will release her Jive Records debut album "BareNaked" on Sept. 24, her label said on Thursday.

    The self-titled single track will be shipped to radio on June 16, to be aired on July 1.

    The video for "BareNaked" will debut on MTV's "Making The Video" the week of July 15.

    "BareNaked," the single, was co-written by 23-year-old Hewitt and Meredith Brooks, who produced the album.

    The Texas-born star first hit it big in 1995 by landing a role in the TV series, "Party of Five." She has starred in various films, including "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" in 1998.

    Hewitt will next co-star with Jackie Chan in an upcoming film called "The Tuxedo."

    Jive Records is a unit of Zomba Music Group, which this week agreed to be sold to Bertelsmann AG .