"The Mummy's Kiss"

The Mummy's Kiss (2003) is a Surrender Cinema epic. It is a softcore version of a curse of the Pharaohs story. As the film opens, a young professor, he assistant, and his girlfriend are looking through artifacts brought back by another professor, and they manage to wake up the Mummy. Seems the mummy was actually an evil lesbian witch who was embalmed when the Pharaoh discovered that she was having a lesbian relationship with his own daughter.

The mummy wants to reunite with her long lost girlfriend.We have full frontal from April Showers and Regina Russell in a sex scene. They also flash the professor hoping to get out a doing a term paper. Mia Zottoli as the evil ancient witch shows breasts and buns, and maybe a hint of bush. Sasha Peralto, as the professors girlfriend, shows breasts in sex scenes with the witch and is frequently topless. Katie Lohmann, as Isis, shows breasts. Aysia Lee, as the professor's assistant, shows breasts. Several unknowns also show breasts.

I have always found Curse of the Pharaoh stories silly and this was no exception. I will say that lots of bare flesh helps the story. IMDb readers have this at 2.1. That is a little harsh. It is nicely decorated, costuming wasn't bad, and there were lots of breasts. What more would you want from a titty flick. This is a C.

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  • Aysia Lee
  • April Flowers and Regina Russell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53)
  • Katie Lohman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Mia Zottoli (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Sasha Peralto (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Live Nude Girls (1995)

    A group of women get together for a slumber party on the night of the bachelor party for one of their fiancÚs. They talk a lot about sex, and they have a lot of sexual fantasies. Some of the chats and daydreams are amusing. More are not, but it was written and directed by a woman, so it is kind of fun to eavesdrop on their real conversations.

    "What?", you're thinking, "Mr. Always-too-verbose has nothing more to say?

    That's it.

    As Gertrude Stein once commented about Oakland, "there is no 'there' there". It is similar to "Sex and the City" but more genuine since that show is, as often as not, scripted by men. There are a couple of pretty good gags along the way. For example:

    • they imagine the guys' bachelor party as a den of iniquity, but we see it, and it is a complete snoozefest
    • they talk about how men always imagine a woman naked as soon as they meet one, the neighbor's son overhears them, and imagines them all naked, which is cool, because we get his P.O.V., and some of these women have rarely appeared naked on camera.

    The good news is that all six women with major roles show at least a little bit of flesh. In addition to the kid's fantasy, there is some nudity in fantasy sequences, including lesbian fantasies. Lora Zane leads the nudity parade by participating in sex scenes with people of both sexes!

    Lame DVD. There are no features. There is no widescreen version. The full screen version is undercontrasted and undersaturated.



    Big Bruv




    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.


    Two big files - for those interested

    • Here is a gorgeous clip from Cold Mountain which is almost DVD quality. That's a sex scene between Jude Law and Nicole Kidman. (.avi file within a .zip file. Right click to save to your hard drive, unzip it, then play it with the .avi player of your choice.)

    • If you really care, here is the Severina Vuckovic sex tape. For me, it isn't really a celebrity sex tape because I don't know who the hell she is. Maybe a few of you do know and care ...  (.avi file within a .zip file. Right click to save to your hard drive, unzip it, then play it with the .avi player of your choice.)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Three cheers to Vejiita for these 'caps of Ashley Judd topless in scenes from the 1996 movie "Normal Life". This movie from "Wild Things" director John McNaughton never made it to the big screen because of some unknown studio decision. Eventually it premiered on HBO, and then wondered to VHS (it has never been on DVD). Ebert gave it 3 1/2 stars and Berardinelli gave it 3 out of 4. I have never seen this ellusive creature myself, but the critics liked it, and Judd's nudity is excellent.

    These 'caps are by far the best we've seen.

    Crimson Ghost
    'Caps and comments by The Ghost:

    Today we have an assortment of images and videos including:

    • .wmvs of Shannon Whirry showing off her all natural big'uns in several scenes from "Animal Instincts" (1992). There are also some occasional rear views and she also shows pubes in links 7, 8, 10 and 11 (link 7 is the best for frontal views).
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    • 'Caps (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) and .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4) of Greta Scacchi in scenes from "The Coca-Cola Kid". Scacchi did show all 3 B's in the movie, but we only have breasts and bum views for you today.

    • 'Caps (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and .wmvs (1, 2) of Kimberly Williams showing some very nice down shirt views in scenes from the made for TV mini-series "The 10th Kingdom".

    • The very cure Terri Ivens showing some cleavage in scenes from "Trancers 4: Jack of Swords" (1994). (1, 2, 3)

    • Also from "Trancers 4", Crinuta Popescu topless in scenes from her only IMDb credit. 'Caps (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and one .wmv clip

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Burial of the Rats"
    There's an excellent chance you've seen this 1995 made-for-cable gore and titfest on cable by now, although it's recently released on DVD. Produced by sleaze king Roger Corman, and based on a Bram Stoker story, it tells of a young Bram Stoker in 19th Century France being captured by a man-hating female cult. Naturally, they're naked most of the time, and very bloodthirsty.

    This is strictly one of these you-know-what-you're-getting Corman flicks, and those who enjoy this type of movie will love it, while serious film fans will quit watching in the first 10 minutes.

    Paris Hilton
    (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps from the recently released DVD of her home video sex tape. The DVD is called "1 Night In Paris".

    Piper Perabo
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Excellent 'caps of the pint sized Piper in scenes from "Coyote Ugly" (2000). Links 3, 6 and 7 feature Piper in her undies.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    What Law Does Apply? - If Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony did get married last Saturday, it may not be valid. Britain's Daily Express reports that Anthony divorced his first wife, Dayanara Torres, in the Dominican Republic just five days before marrying J-Lo. But under that nation's law, a 60-day "buffer" is enforced to allow either party to appeal. That would make Anthony a bigamist. But top U.S. divorce lawyer Neal Hirsh insists the 60-day waiting period wouldn't apply.

  • Not to celebrities.
  • There's a special "J-Lo clause."
  • If you had to wait 60 days to marry J-Lo, she'd already be married to someone else by then.

    Fish Story - Marine biologists at Nagasaki University have bred non-lethal fugu. The blowfish is a delicacy in Japan, but chefs must be licensed to prepare it because it contains a toxin lethal enough to kill 100 people in one serving. The scientists hope to commercially produce the new fugu, which they say has the same delicious taste without the deadly toxin. But one Tokyo fugu restaurant owner scoffed at the whole idea, calling it "boring." He said, "Fugu is exciting because it's toxic," and you never know for certain if eating it will kill you.

  • Same reason people go to Arby's.
  • Of course, you'll never know for certain that it's the non-lethal fugu.
  • He's also a big fan of unprotected sex.
  • We still need the lethal fugu so we can extract the toxin and shoot it into people's forehead wrinkles.