"Old School"

Old School (2003) was a financial success, but split the critics, and it splits Scoop and me as well. Everyone agrees that it is an attempt at lowbrow humor that some, like Berardinelli and Scoopy found hilarious, and others like myself and Roger Ebert didn't. I agree that Will Ferrell gave a strong performance, but this just wasn't my idea of humor. Scoopy reported laughing out loud, and I'm not sure I got as much as a broad smile out of it. I suppose the idea of 30-somethings trying to act like college students, and convincing the college students stretched my suspension of disbelief. And what was up with Ferrell, supposedly 36, streaking like he did in college? If he is 36 in 2003, that makes him 5 years old in 1972, the height of the streaking craze. He was a very young college student indeed. What it all boils down to, however, is how many laughs it gets, and for me, that was none.

The breasts count was a solid 6, but the Unrated version did not have the abundance of nudity I was hoping for. Lisa Donatz, Corinne Kingsbury and Kristina Hughes showed breasts, and Juliette Lewis and Elisha Cuthbert looked cute in underwear. If middle aged men streaking, fat guys nailing a double somersault vault and sticking a landing, and a retired Navy guy dying at the sight of bare breasts sounds like your idea of a laugh, don't miss this. C+

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  • Donatz Kingsbury (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Elisha Cuthbert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Juliette Lewis (1, 2)
  • Kristina Hughes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other crap:

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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Charlize Theron Brief toplessness in scenes from "The Yards".

    Rose McGowan
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The actress voted "most in need of a tan" bares her breasts in "The Doom Generation" (1995).

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Smooth Operator"
    A broke personal trainer hooks rich, successful businesswoman and ruins her life (yawn). Although the story's lame, the worse part is that the movie doesn't end; it just stops. You're watching the end credits asking "where the hell is the end of the story?"

    Watch this one strictly for the nudity and fake sex.

    "Picture Claire"
    When things go badly in her home town of Montreal, a French Canadian woman travels to Toronto to join an ex-lover and turn her life around. She speaks no English, and, at least in the movie, most people in Toronto speak little French.

    In Toronto, the woman accidentially gets involved with diamond smugglers and things go very wrong.

    This thriller is very well-done, and interesting on several levels. One surprise is that Gina Gershon didn't do the nudity this time around; Juliette Lewis and Camilla Rutherford had it all. Also interesting about Juliette Lewis' role was she spoke only French; I don't know if she's good at it but her character spoke no English in the movie.

    This is a top-flight suspense movie; really well done with an interesting if not totally new plot.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we have scenes from a really lousy movie.

    Debi Monahan was not a bad looking dish and they did have enough sense to give her some "Babe in Bondage" scenes. The bad part, the bad guy has her tied up and toys with opening up her dress to expose here breasts, but he never achieves his goal. How dumb can moviemakers be.Oh, well there is always another day and another movie.

    Meanwhile we see Debi in various cleavage and leg shots.

    Salma Hayek
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Just released yesterday on DVD....Salma topless and in a lesbian scene from "Frida".

    Monica Bellucci
    (1, 2, 3)

    The Italian mega-babe nude (with breast exposure) in scenes from "Irréversible", the movie that caused a big stink at Cannes because of it's graphic rape scene.

    Hudson Leick Fun House readers know her best as The Evil Callisto from "Xena: Warrior Princess". Thanks to DeVo, today we get to see some rare Callisto toplessness in a scene from "After the Game" (1997).

    (1, 2)

    She's very buff and bared a little breast exposure, but nothing could stop the movie "Swept Away" from sucking hard. Vidcaps by Finn.

    Emmanuelle Seigner
    (1, 2)

    The French actress caught fully and frontally nude by the paparazzi!

    Julia Parton
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Mandy Fisher
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    A special thanks to Mr. Skin for updated, and corrected versions of these 'caps from "Secrets Sex and Lies". Once again, both ladies show off their big'uns, and Parton also goes full frontal.