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"Bachelor Party" (1984)

Bachelor Party (1984) is a brainless sex farce about a bachelor Party. Tom Hanks and Tawny Kitaen are to be married. Kitaen is from an upper-crust family, and Hanks drives a school bus for a Catholic school. Hank's friends decide to throw him a huge bachelor party. Hanks promises Kitaen that he will not have sex at the party. Meanwhile, Kitaen's upper-crust ex boyfriend is out to stop the marriage and get her back. Kitaen's friends through her a bridal shower the same night. That is the basic set-up, and what transpires is just plain silliness that includes Kitaen's mother grabbing a male strippers pecker, and a donkey ODing on pills. Monique Gabrielle has a great, prolonged and well lit full frontal when she is given as a gift to Hanks. There are also fleeting glimpses at unknown breasts during the party.

IMDB readers say 5.5/10, or ok comedy. Maltin says 2 stars. Hanks is occasionally funny in the part, and Kitaen does a good job. US gross was $38.4m, with an additional $19.07m in rentals. It is an ok genre film, and the kind I wish they would make more of, but there could have been more breasts. C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Monique Gabrielle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Follow up to yesterday's jokes - "You know you might be a Yankee if ..... "

    Here in the Lone Star State we have a sure test. Only one question.

    The word "suite", as in "a bedroom suite", is a homonym of the word (a) suit (b) sweet.

    If your answer is b, you're a Yankee (or maybe a Frenchman). Welcome to Texas; have a nice stay; thank you for purchasing guns and fireworks from us. 

    As y'all probably know, many modern dictionaries are descriptive, not prescriptive, so if people use a pronunciation enough times it makes the cut. I have a 1979 edition of Webster's Unabridged, and "suit" didn't make the cut. My daughter has a Webster's ninth collegiate from 1990, and it's now an accepted American pronunciation. It is also accepted by my 1983 Random House Unabridged. Somewhere between 1979 and 1983, "suit" became a proper homonym. Y'all is also listed in the Webster's Collegiate, and is not designated as slang or familiar! Take that, you Harvard bastards!

    The loony horror film, Re-Animator, is hard to find on DVD, so I was thrilled when I found a copy by accident in a mainstream bookstore chain (Borders). The DVD has been completely re-mastered, starting with a neg, and is a widescreen version of the unrated director's cut with not one but two commentary tracks, and about twenty minutes of alternate footage from the r-rated video version as well as a dream sequence never seen before. Pictures in yesterday's edition.

    One Tough Cop, is based on a fictionalized autobiography written by former NYPD policeman Bo Dietl, who now occasionally finds himself chatting up Don Imus on the latter's infamous syndicated radio show. You've seen this movie already. Oh, I know you don't think you have, but you have. Pictures in yesterday's edition.

    So what have we today? Hmmm, Amy Smart would be a good way to start off things. From Esquire. A nip slip.
  • Amy Smart

    Lil Kim almost nekkid in public (or is that a redundancy?), this time at the MTV awards.

  • Lil Kim

    Three Japanese babes: 1) Haruki Mizuno with a near-'bout perfect body; Jun Kusanagi, pornstar who poses under a half-dozen names; 3) Emeri Yoshikawa, cute as a button.

  • Haruki Mizuno (1, 2)
  • Jun Kusanagi
  • Emeri Yoshikawa (1, 2, 3)

    Finishing last week's post with one more Fanny Cadeo scan.

  • Fanny Cadeo

    Adara Michaels is next with a pair of robohooters and the inhibitions of a mink in heat.

  • Adara Michaels

    And let us step back to my scanning roots and show off the latest Brazilian babe with a killer caboose...

  • Ana Paula Ferreira

    Two of FHM's sexiest babes of 2001: Caprice Bourret and Kate Groombridge. Kate came in somewhere like 39th, which tells just what a wonderful time we live in when 38 other women are considered sexier than her.

  • Caprice Bourret
  • Kate Groombridge

    Then there was Caroline Gynning. Scandanavian, I think. Other than that, your guess is much better than my own.

  • Caroline Gynning

    Halle Berry in a couple of sexy but overly clad scans. Saw Halle in a rare moment of weakness, when I watched the MTV awards; she spent five minutes talking about how her hooters were on display in her latest movie. Wonder if she gets paid another half mil every time she mentions the fact her natural wonders are visible to anyone with eight dollars in his pocket?

  • Halle Berry

    Guess Jeans girl Kim Smith and Italian babe Lisa Falcone, for no other reason than that they are celebs, yes?, and they are nekkid to be sure.

  • Kim Smith
  • Lisa Falcone

    Last couple are a project I had been working on. A while back Shalom Harlow did an outdoor fashion show wearing next to nothing. Too things about that show: 1) Shalom looked better in it than at any other public event; 2) must have 104 photographers shooting pictures. So I collected the best of these pics and stitched them together in a couple of collages. A labor of love.

  • Shalom Harlow (1, 2)

  • Mongoose
    'Caps and comments by Mongoose

    A 20 year old Hsu Chi in a really great 1996 Hong Kong movie called "Viva Erotica." It's a Category III movie (comparable to "R" or "NC-17" in the US) and with a name like "Viva Erotica" you might think it's a Cinemax style softcore sex-o-rama. But it's not. It's a "real" movie about a serious director (Leslie Cheung (a man)) who's found himself stuck with directing a sex flick or finding a real job. He has to deal with Triad movie backers, veteran sex film cast and crew, a crumbling relationship with his girlfriend, a lead actress who doesn't want to get naked, and a desire to inject some credibility and "art" into an exploitation movie.

    Hsu Chi plays Miss Mango, a budding young starlet. The rich gangsta funding the flick tells his girl Hsu that she doesn't have to do any nudity in the movie but then goes to Cheung and lets him know he's got to get her naked. Cheung finally gets Hsu to drop her towel and reveal her tits.

    Even if it didn't have the crushingly beautiful Hsu Chi, this movie'd be worth watching. Funny, smart, self aware, sexy etc etc. Check the web for real reviews. Here Cheung has to film a scene where Hsu and her leading man get nasty in a phone booth. He tells Hsu that everything will be innocent and suggested. He tells the leading man to pretty much sexually assault her. This pisses her off.

    Hsu's getting looser. A love scene. Nice lipstick. (1, 2)

    Our director is starting to learn how to manipulate his cast and is seeing the beginnings of a really good erotic film. Hsu Chi is getting "into" her scenes and starting to "connect" with Leslie.

    Nice tit shot. The cops bust up the filming.

    Moving on...

    I promised some Olivia Pascal caps. I'd hoped to do more but this was all I could get to. Olivia was a bit player in Walerian Borowczyk's 1977 movie "Behind Convent Walls." I can't tell you much about this flick because my PAL setup lost it's audio. It's a bunch of nuns getting naked and an "artistic" sort of way. Unfortunately this is all of Olivia in the movie. Fans will recognize the distinctly puffy nips.

    I couldn't pass up this unknown actress. Honestly...if I had audio, I probably could have identified her. I just love that last ass/pussy shot. Walerian's a true "artiste."

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Melissa DiMarco Melissa almost bursting out of her brassiere in her first feature role in the movie "No Alibi" starring Lexa Doig. Lyne Paradis is credited as the body double for her character but no such nudity occurred.

    Soo Garay A far off topless shot of the Hungarian-Canadian actress in "The Fall" (1998)

    Hélène de Fougerolles This French actress is also topless in "The Fall" (1998).

    Robyn Palmer Previously topless in the Lexx episode Boomtown, she is again nude but not showing much as a Hefmag bunny in the movie "The Ladies Man" (2000) starring SNL's Tim Meadows.

    Sofia Milos The Swiss-Italian actress getting it on with SNL's Tim Meadows in her first big feature role in "The Ladies Man" (2000). Damn, her nipple pasties stick out like a sore thumb! She is currently playing the nutcracker Napolitan Mob boss Annalisa Zucca in The Sopranos.

    Unknown In case you can't get enough of the sci-fi straight-to-videos by Czech filmmaker Lloyd Simandl..."Dead Fire" (1997) has just been released to video. The only nudity is done by an unknown Czech actress.

    Unknown Unbelievably explicit sex scene performed by uncredited actress in the French movie "A Single Girl" (1995) starring Virginie Ledoyen.

    Karin Huldt The Swedish actress and ballerina in her only known screen credit bares all in the euro-film "All Things Fair" starring Marika Lagercrantz.

    Giuditta Del Vecchio Italian actress Giuditta Del Vecchio who's topless in Léolo (1992) shows all the goods in "Quiet Days in Clichy" (1990). Her previous film credit is in Tinto Brass's "Snack Bar Budapest" (1988). The scan with the framegrabs is from the cover of the German video release. It's quite racy compared to the UK/USA covers.

    Lisa Faulkner The British actress walks butt naked through a girls dormitory and crawls into bed with Jane March in the movie "The Lover". No I am not making this up! Only her butt is visible and the mosquito netting obscures any further potential nudity.

    Sonia Mankaï

    Ava Cohen-Jonathan

    Sarah Pariente

    "Un été à La Goulette" (1995) is Euro-comedy about three girls from different cultures contemplating losing their virginity. The only recognizable actress is Sonia Mankaï who later went on to play the Arab nurse who cuts off Willem Dafoe's thumbs in "The English Patient" (1996). The Pics:
  • Sonia Mankaï: butt and side of breast in shower. Later...butt as she takes off her body veil in front of old suitor.
  • Ava Cohen-Jonathan: great topless shots of her showering at beach
  • Sarah Pariente: bare back, partial side of breast only.

  • Scorpion's Skinemax
    Ahmo Hight Very nice robo-hooters, and a bit of far off bum exposure in "Secret Pleasures" (1999).

    Griffin Drew Boobs, and possibly a bit of bush in sex scenes from an episode of "Erotic Confessions". Not to be confused with her latest movie "Erotic Possessions".

    Kim Yates Showing off her breasts and bum in "Secret Pleasures".

    Kira Reed Topless of course, plus some bum views. From "Erotic Confessions".

    Lisa Comshaw Plenty of robo-hooter action, and a bit of pubes in the upper right corner. Scenes from "Erotic Confessions".

    Monique Parent Breast views only in a phony 3-way sex scene. Yup, once again from "Erotic Confessions".

    Nikki Fritz All 3 B's in "Secret Pleasures". The other night I caught a few minutes of Nikki in "The Bare Wench Project". Sadly, I think it's a better movie than "Blair Witch".

    Why? Well I'll tell you...

  • Technically, there is no difference. They both use handheld video cameras that you can buy at your local Mega-lo Mart.
  • Neither has a steady-cam harness, so the cameras bounce more than The Man Show's girls on Trampolines.
  • The dialog in both is improv, meandering, and equally idiotic.
  • Plot? Well, the original didn't have one, so there wasn't much to spoof.

    So how is the "Wench" better? That's easy...almost endless nudity!

  • Shannon Tweed From one of her 80's movies, here she is topless in "Lethal Woman" (1989).

    Taimie Hannum Nice Robos and some teaser views of other parts in this aqua-sex scene from "Secret Pleasures".

    and ...
    Monique Gabrielle
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Monique's bod, other peoples heads

    Topless and full frontal nudity from one of my all time favorite comedies...."Bachelor Party" (1984)! Call the nudity gratuitous, call the humor low-brow...I call that a little slice of heaven.

    Come on many of you have either had or been to a bachelor party and heard someone say..."Let's have a bachelor party, with chicks and guns and firetrucks and hookers and drugs and booze!" I'm willing to bet that quite few of you are raising your hands.

    Don't be embarrassed. After all, great movies come in all shapes and sizes! If every movie were "Citizen Cane" life would be pretty damn dull.

    Thanks to Deafbeer for the 'caps.

    Shannon Elizabeth
    (1, 2)

    A few more looks at her see-thru outfit from the MTV Movie Awards.

    Nikki Fritz

    Julia Kruis

    Cheri Lacey

    Dana Robbins

    Plenty of high quality robo-hooter fun with Helcrom. Vidcaps from "Sinful Obsession" (1999). Breasts everywhere of course, and Nikki and Cheri show a bit of bum as well.

    Click Here!