"The Erotic Mister Rose"
The Erotic Mister Rose (1964) -- Normally, I wouldn't do a project with nothing but unknowns, but several things make this very interesting. It was Nick Phillips' second film, and was a blatant attempt to cash in on the financial success of The Immoral Mr. Teas, which played in virtually every grindhouse with runs as long as 27 weeks. Mr. Teas was a door to door dental appliance salesman. Everywhere he went, he encountered nude women. The film is narrated in true Nick Phillips style by Satan. His nemesis is Mr. Rose, who, when he is not collecting butterflies, is out stamping out porn. Most of the film is shot in B&W, and mostly in L.A., although it was set in San Francisco, so some exteriors were shot there. The nudity comes from 4 exotic dancers, the first three seen by Mr. Rose in a grind house while he was still on his crusade, the last observed from his apartment window, which succeeded in corrupting him.
Three women are named in the credits, Dani Fontaine, Laura Loren, and Mitzi Roget, but there is no way to tell which name belongs to which of the four women. It probably doesn't really matter, as I am sure those are stage names of L.A. area exotic dancers. All four women show breasts and a flash of buns, which was still enough to get you busted in 1964. All four scenes with the women were shot in color with no permits in different hotel rooms.
The women have natural breasts. It was too early for implants, and none look like they have had silicone injections.
The idea of feminine beauty was very different then. All four would be unacceptably fat by today's standards.
It is a rare glimpse at 1964 San Francisco. A beach, for instance, in the film, is now the tourist Mecca, Pier 39.
IMDb knows nothing of this film
The transfer quality is amazing for a 1964 grindhouse unknown film.
We owe a debt of gratitude for these early pioneers in sleaze. Had they not risked arrest, we would not be seeing the same level of nudity in mainstream films today. This is a C+. For aficionados of early porn, this is a must see.
"All for Lust"
All for Lust (2003) is a straight to vid titty flick rated 2.2 at IMDb, and deservedly so. The acting is bad even by genre standards, there is virtually no simulated sex, and what sex and nudity scenes there are have so many cross fades they are nearly unwatchable. Several woman show their aftermarket assets, including Jacklyn Lick, Samantha Sterlyng and Julien Jackson.
However ...it had a really nifty story. Total spoilers ahead, since I don't think any of you will want to see this film.
A man is about to leave for a fishing trip with his buddies as a replacement for the bachelor party that his bride to be, Samantha Sterlyng, wouldn't let him have. As they leave, his two buddies inform him that they are not going fishing at all, but to a swingers resort. Once there, the friends explain the weekend contest. They draw sex conquests from a bowl, and whoever is successful the most times wins $2,000.00. Our hero wins, but one of his buddies convinces a girl (Jacklyn Lick) that he will probably marry her, and gives her the bridegroom's name.
The girl starts a Fatal Attraction stalking routine, but directed at the wrong man. This is a very clever twist of the fatal attraction theme, and could probably have been turned into a decent film by talented people.Unfortunately, there were none involved in this effort. Despite the good story idea, this is a clear F.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song (1971)
Since there is some current interest in Mario Van Peeble's film
Baadasssss!, which about his own father's making of Sweet
Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, I thought I'd take a look at the
original. The discussion of this movie has to be divided into
two separate issues: the movie and the cultural phenomenon.
It truly was a phenomenon.
Sweetback was the first highly profitable film made
by a black independent filmmaker for a black audience which had
previously not been clearly identified or measured.
Van Peebles was the director, composer, writer, editor, and star of
this film. Having already directed five previous films, he sought
financing by a major studio and failed because of the film’s
inflammatory racial politics and x-rated sex scenes. Investors felt
that the film was earmarked for black
audiences only, and when Van Peebles cobbled together the financing
for this film, nobody had any clear idea of how large that market
Late in the financing process, Bill Cosby anted up
some money to cover a budget shortfall, but he never expected to
make a profit. He wouldn't even take an equity position in the
production, but just wanted to make the deal a straight loan. In
fact, he was surprised that he ever got paid back at all.
If Cosby had taken the equity position, he would have
been paid back somewhere between ten and a hundred dollars for each
one he invested, because Melvin struck gold, and found out about the
upper limit of the market's potential. He made the film for
$150,000-$500,000 (depending on who you believe), and grossed
$10-$15 million! Sweetback proved to be the black equivalent of Easy
Rider. Peter Fonda had proved in 1969 that a cheaply-made
independent film appealing flagrantly to the core values of a highly
targeted audience, and made by someone who shared those values,
could make a lot of money even if that audience was normally thought
to consist of non-moviegoers and even of fringe participants in the
economy. Just as Peter Fonda had gotten the Hollywood suits to
recognize the potential of the hippie/counterculture market, Melvin
got the studio boys to recognize the untapped urban African-American
... Or maybe "like the Black Easy Rider" is the
wrong simile ...
Maybe it should be "like the soul Fantastiks", at
least from the longevity standpoint, because I read not too long ago
that there is a theater somewhere that has been playing Sweet
Sweetback continuously since it was first released in 1971.
Unfortunately, the stories about this film are a curious mix of fact
and fancy, and I don't know which ones to believe.
Whatever the correct comparison might be, the point
is that Melvin Van Peebles proved that there was a lot of money to
be made by making films for the urban African-American audience.
The film credits “the Black Community” in its opening scene, and is
dedicated to “all the Brothers and Sisters who
are tired of being held down by the Man.”
It made a ton of money. Blaxploitation was
And the movie?
There is no kind way to say this. This film was made in 19 days and is about
as bad as a film can be.
The lighting is so bad that some scenes just seem to
consist of a dark screen with an occasional flickering of light.
When I was a kid, a popular school joke for art class was to hand in
a blank white piece of paper with two pink dots somewhere in the
middle, titled something like "Albino rabbit in a heavy snowstorm".
I suppose if we changed to a black piece of paper with some white
dots, we might have called it, "Dark skinned guy wearing black
clothing in an unlit room on a moonless night." I don't recall
Melvin Van Peebles being in any of those classes, but he must have
done the same kinds of thinks in his youth, because that's what some
of his scenes look like.
What else could be bad about a movie? You name it,
it's here. Sound recorded off a tiny camera mic, a corny collage of
neon signs to show the passage of the night, non-actors delivering
lines, psychedelic kaleidoscope montages in primary colors, phones
ringing after they've been picked up, unrealistic plotting (I'll get
to that), long stretches with nothing happening except a guy jogging
and jogging and jogging over a jazzy, looping background score. I
suppose there must be 30 minutes which consist of nothing but Melvin
jogging. The film may be the "black Easy Rider" as a cultural
landmark, but evaluated as technical filmmaking, it is the "Black
I hope that the cost of this film was really on the
low end of the estimated range. If Melvin really spent $500,000 on
this film, as some claim, I can't even begin to imagine what he did
with the money. He used non-union help. He wrote the score and
played the lead. He directed and edited. Maybe he paid himself
generous salaries for each of his contributions. I had a friend who
used to make movies just for fun with a home video camera. He did
all the writing. His other buddies and I would play all the roles.
Those movies were far superior technically to Sweet Sweetback. The
sound was better. The lighting was better. The acting was better.
And they were made with a budget which consisted solely of the cost
of the blank video tapes.
I guess I have already belabored the point that the film is
What about the storyline?
Sweetback, a male street hustler witnesses two white
cops beating a black radical of some kind. Sweetback attacks the
cops, frees the Panther, and spends the rest of the film running. I
should say "jogging". He jogs through urban streets over the
official Bart Simpson neon sign montage. He stops at the home of an
old friend in a poor neighborhood. As he exists the back door, two
cops wave handguns at him. He gets out of that scrape. He joins up
with some white bikers, and eventually takes refuge in their tool
shed or something. He's in there for five minutes when two cops
burst in waving their handguns. He gets out of that scrape. Near the
end, he rides on the top of a vehicle, then in the back of another
vehicle (unknown to the driver), then hitches a ride with some
migrant workers, then hops two different trains, then hops off in
the desert - and within about 30 seconds, an army helicopter is
checking him out, and some more cops are chasing him. This time, it
turns out that Sweetback changed clothes with some hippie, and the
cops are following the wrong guy.
Cut to the real Sweetback, now wandering through the
mountains, seemingly hundreds of miles from civilization, but before
we get a chance to think he's safe, we see two guys chasing him with
some vicious dogs, and ...
... and you get the idea.
As it turns out, he gets out of that one too. We see
the two guys let the dogs go, then sit down for a rest. They hear
the dogs stop barking, and assume that to mean the killer animals
have found and disabled their quarry.
Then we see a river full of blood and ...
... dead dogs.
(That was the one scene in the film that I thought
was really cool, except maybe for the scene where the two cops
render a guy deaf while questioning him - by blowing off a gun next
to each ear.)
After we see the dogs, another word slide comes up and says something
like, "Watch out. A baad asssss is coming back to collect some
dues." And then we see Sweetback one last time, still running,
while the closing credits crawl. We hear dissonant music and police
There isn't a lot of dialogue. Melvin is on screen
almost continuously, and I don't know if his lines would amount to
more than a paragraph. He fucks, he fights, he runs, he fights, he
fucks, he runs, he runs, he runs ... People speak to him. People
speak about him. But he rarely speaks.
What about the X rating?
Bad Movie Night summed it up:
Very rarely does a film begin with child pornography during the
opening credits, then go on to display penises, strap-ons, sex
parties, a fat man defecating on camera, brutal beatings, brutal
torture (a man has his eardrums blown out one by one by the police),
slow and agonizing murders, sex acts with nearly every female
character, rotting dead skinned dogs, a gangrenous pus-infected
wound, and an interesting use of what is probably urine but quite
possibly may be semen.
The sex is explicit - an X or NC-17 by the
standards of any age. I've seen softcore porn films with less
explicit sex. The film begins with Sweet Sweetback as an orphan boy
being taken in by some ladies of the evening. One of those ladies
takes his cherry. The young Sweetback is played by Melvin's own son,
Mario Van Peebles, who could not have been more than 13 or 14, but
the scene includes full frontal nudity from the actress playing the
whore, as well as from young Mario. The camera also watches from
above as the naked boy movies on top of the woman. The scene could
not be filmed at all these days. It would clearly be considered
exploitation of a minor.
Later on, Melvin performs in a sex show. In his visit
to the biker camp, he jumps on the biker chick. All of these scenes
show Melvin's genitalia, as well as extensive nudity from the women.
In fact, Melvin admits in an interview on the DVD that he actually
had sex with at least one of the women. According to legend, Melvin
contracted gonorrhea from one of the actresses while filming one of
the sex scenes in the movie. He applied for compensation from the
Directors Guild because he "got hurt on the job" and used the money
to buy more film.
- Thumbnail previews
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Along Came Polly (2004)
This is an average, moderately entertaining studio-produced
romantic comedy with Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller. Stiller is
the most controlled and conservative guy in the world, a risk
analyst in the big-time insurance racket. Aniston is a carefree,
risk-taking hippie drifting through life with no set plans.
Both Ben Stiller and Hank Azaria did nude scenes, but there was no
female nudity. Aniston offered pokies and short-shorts.
Movement to Canonize Reagan Stalled by Fact that He Wasn't
Britney Spears Undergoes Knee Surgery After Injury
Parton's 'Always Love You' is the top "country" love song.
London's Harrods department store has apologised for selling
controversial underwear bearing images of Hindu goddesses in
Life Magazine is back as a weekend newspaper-stuffer.
And a proud final chapter it is for the once-honored title.
- The Daily Show - despite the suspension of campaign operations
during Reagan tributes,
the President will continue to air negative ads, because "the
Gipper would have wanted it that way"
The trailer for Exorcist: The Beginning
Controversy Brews Over Hillary, Condoleezza in 'Stepford Wives' Ad
GORBACHEV GETTING TIRED OF ‘TEAR DOWN THIS WALL’ CLIP.
Tells Cable Networks to Stop ‘Rubbing it In’
Halle Berry Attacks Sharon Stone With a Whip
P.J. O'Rourke on the nature of public political discourse.
Trailer to "The Passion of the Christ: Part 2"
Anna Nicole Smith's best sex was with a ghost. (Third
Benigni's 0% stays unchallenged. Garfield gets a positive review.
Paris says "no more hummers". She will still give an
Where did the expression "OK" come from? This is
probably the source of more urban legends than any other issue.
Was 'Soul Plane' hijacked by digital pirates?
You've heard of Open Mike Night and Karaoke and Movieoke? How
about Open Screen Night?
Marvel at NYC Licensing -check out the release date on Spider-Man
3. (A hoax?)
Alien Vs. Predator Preview
Here's that memorandum that Rumsfeld doesn't want you to see.
Uninvited artist sneaks his works into major museums.
Hey, maybe Andy Kaufman IS alive.
Watch the first eight minutes of Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the
Mouseketeer admits she needs help. She has hired two
full-time counselors to tail her 24/7.
Posh keeps her distance from other, less famous, spouses
Larry Bird says b-ball "is a black man's game", and admits white
guys can't jump.
Sociologist says that regular sexual activity can help university
students get better grades. I don't know about that.
College must have changed a lot, because the guys with the highest
grades weren't getting a lot of action in my day. Jeez, imagine if
those guys had gotten laid. The teachers would have had to invent
a whole new alphabet for grades higher than A.
Tampa Tribune mistakenly runs an editorial saying The Lightning
lost the Stanley Cup final
A Mormon takes steps in overcoming masturbation - Stop Flogging
the Dolphin.. Editorial Comments by Lambert Dolphin. No
Lindsay Lohan's Breasts To Star In Own Sitcom. Lindsay
Lohan's breasts announced yesterday that they will set out on
their own, and that they already have their own deal to star in
their own situation comedy.
No sex please -- we're Japanese
Seniors say "stick a fork in high school, it's done."
MovieJuice! looks at Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban -
Take A Wiz
Van Halen reunites - and Eddie has turned into a bad Martin Short
Ever in control, Courtney Love was charged with assault with a
Michael Badnarik, the next President of the United States.
Well, if he does win, we don't have to worry about him blowing the
federal budget on fancy clothes.
Abraham Lincoln wrote a suicide poem?
Supermodels for Bush, Part 1.
There are now 63 million registered internet domains.
That is one for every 100 people on earth.
Xtina is Glamour Magazine's Woman of the Year
Today is Donald Duck's 70th birthday.
Facial manipulation and disguise
Give the Mouseketeer any size breasts you prefer.
Step aside TiVo, here comes Freevo
TiVo announces major new internet-based iniatives.
Film industry professionals give Michael Moore's new film a
Fossil yields clues about Rolling Stones' age. A look
way back at Their Arthritic Majesties.
- This week's movies:
Garfield - 0% positive reviews. Can it hang in there at
zero? It's been a long time since we had a pure zero. The last one
was in December 2002 - Benigni's Pinocchio.
See the trailer for Wimbledon. In just two summer
weeks, a British tennis player who was ranked 157th in the world
(Paul Bettany), and generally considered to be on his last legs as
a professional player, gets his one last chance to win both the
All-England Lawn Tennis Championships on the grassy courts of
Wimbledon... and the heart of the rising star "bad girl of tennis"
(Kirsten Dunst) as well.
Venus Transit at Sunrise
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Barbara Bach full frontal in a Sergio Corbucci
movie, Ecco noi per
esempio. No help from me on the movie. Once you see
the clip, you'll know as much about it as I do. I suppose that she
was once a Bond girl (The Spy Who Loved Me), and has been married
to Ringo Starr since the beginning of time.
Caren Kaye in My Tutor. I don't know what she did
before or after this movie, but so many of my friends had a crush
on her back then, just because of this scene. (.avi) (.wmv)
Jamie Lee Curtis shows off some of the best
breasts in screen history, in Trading Places. (.avi) (.wmv)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
If someone described each scene of Super Troopers to
you...in detail... you'd probably think the movie
sucked. I did when my chortling fifteen-yr-old nephew
went through each scene, chapter and verse. Couldn't
see why he or anyone else in possession of more than
two neurons and one synapse (pretty much leaves out
cicadas) would laugh at that shit. Then I watched it
and despite my best intentions, I chuckled like a
Imagine my eagerness to see the second heaping helping
of what the Super Trooper zanies had to offer.
Imagine, also, my disappointment at what they
produced. Club Dread is simply dreadful, a
record-breaking waste of time and talent on a scale
that Pluto Nash worked hard to establish. In this
case I could describe the scenes, you would say, "That
sucks!" and you, prescient being that you are, would
be correctamundo. They even went and wasted Bill
Paxton, who can't seem to help being funny no matter
the subject... until now. A fucked up mess, that's
But that brings me to Jordan Ladd. Since the Funhouse
has become the unofficial Jordan Ladd nekkid site I
thought it wise to join a dozen other fellows of the
Vidcappers Guild and do Jordan. As it were. In fact
I went all obsessive on ya and made nine collages of
Jordan Ladd toplessness. Numbers 4, 6 and 9 are
single frames, the rest are composed of frames
numbering 2 or 3 or some other integer greater than
And while I was at it I capped the stunt double who
did the gymnastic work for Jordan. I said to myself,
"Take a look. Maybe IMDB says who she is." Yes I
did. Sho' 'nuff IMDB does name two women as stunt
doubles. Better yet it identifies one of them, Dina
Lynn Margolin, as a former USA National gymnast.
Eureka! To my aged eyes, that's a two plus two equals
four type situation. So I'm sending along two
collages of she who appears to Dina Lynn,
- Jordan Ladd
- Dina Lynn Margolin
Today from the Ghost, some 'caps and clips from an episode of the Skinemax series "The Best Sex Ever".
- Isabella (aka Isabella Camille), showing all 3 B's in a couple of sex scenes.
- Isabella .wmvs
LC takes a look at the multi-Oscar nominated "Cold Mountain". (Due out on DVD June 29).
|The "Mean Girls" star showing a whole lot of leg and a little cleavage on Tuesday night's Leno (note: he's caught checking her out in #10). Excellent HDTV 'caps.
||The beautiful Spanish actress goes topless and full frontal in scenes from "Son de mar" (2001).
|"JAG" fans will love these! These are some high quality production stills from an episode featuring Bell in a bikini!
|The pop singer and star of the new movie "Saved!" looking absolutely gorgeous (and showing a little cleavage) at a recent fashion awards show.
|'Caps by C2000 of Bartlett showing some excellent cleavage and also briefly topless in scenes from "100 Women".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ARNOLD RETURNS TO THE SCREEN
Going Around The World With Seven Women - Just as Arnold Schwarzenegger is
gaining respect in politics, an unwelcome reminder of his wilder days is
surfacing. The movie "Around The World in 80 Days," which he shot before
announcing his candidacy, is finally about to be released. Arnold has a
cameo as a drinking, belching, leering, oversexed Turkish prince with seven
wives, one for each night of the week. He paws the hero's girlfriend as he
suggests she take over Tuesdays. Arnold declined to promote it, but he
called it "a wonderful family movie."
It promotes Schwarzenegger Family Values!
The role was perfect practice for becoming a politician.
He took this part to make Maria glad he was quitting movies for
"COOLER" AMERICAN IDOL
Cheap Trick - "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett is planning a hip rip-off of
"American Idol," where contestants won't be packaged pop singers but cool
rock singers who could immediately step into an existing famous rock group
and go on tour.
This sounds like a trick to help Van Halen find another no-name singer.
If you think rock stars aren't packaged, you need to go on "American
News flash: if you'd go on this show at all, you are NOT cool or hip.
TOWN OF F**KING WON'T CHANGE NAME
F***ing Is As F***ing Does - 150 people who live in the village of F***ing,
Austria, voted not to change the name. A spokesman said, "Everyone here
knows what it means in English, but for us, "F***ing is F***ing, and it's
going to stay F***ing, even though the signs keeps getting stolen" by
I shudder to think what they suggested changing it to, if this was
150 people is an awfully small population, considering the name.
SIX PACK VIA PLASTIC SURGERY
Nap And Tuck - The Wireless Flash reports that Dr. Anthony Griffin, who did
a Brazilian Butt Lift on "Extreme Makeover," has created a new plastic
surgery procedure for men: the Six-Pack Tummy Tuck. Regular tucks pull the
skin down like a roller shade, but after sucking out the fat, Griffin rolls
the skin up on the sides like a fitted shirt and sews the abdominal muscles
together to bring them forward like a pumped-up six pack. He says it looks
like you've done 1,000 sit-ups. But it's mostly requested by women who've
had children, not men, possibly because it costs up to $15,000.
And think of how many real six-packs you could buy for that.
It would be cheaper just to DO 1,000 sit-ups.
One caution: if a woman has this done, she'd better not get pregnant
One minor side effect: you can never stand up again.
$7 MILLION FOR CHICKEN RANCH
That's A Lot Of Scratch - In 1982, Ken Green paid $1.25 million to buy
Nevada's Chicken Ranch, which is named after the famous brothel in "The
Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." He's now offering it for sale for $7
million, but he developed it from two double-wide trailers into a 40-acre
spread with a bar, pool and three bungalows with Jungle, Wild West and
Victorian themes. Green says it's a great business opportunity, but he's
turning 63 and "I'm just working a little more at it than I want to."
Are there really THAT many customers who want to have sex with him?
Yeah, that's what the girls say at age 23.
He paid $1.2 million for two double-wide trailers, so he worked harder
than he had to.
A lot of men want to buy it, but they're chicken.