"Blue Velvet"

Blue Velvet (1986) is an oft done David Lynch film. I covered it very early in my capping career before I had the ability to go frame by frame, and there was far more nudity than I managed to find several years ago, including full frontal from Isabella Rossillini. As the film opens, we have a perfect urban setting in the quiet lumber town of Lumberton. A fire truck goes by, and a man is watering his lawn. Suddenly, a bee stings him. Evidently, he is allergic, and is rushed to the hospital. His son, played by Kyle MacLachlan, returns from college. On the way back from the hospital, he finds a human ear in a vacant lot.

He takes the ear to the police. Later that night, curious about his discovery, he visits the detective he had seen earlier in the day, and is told that he will not be allowed to know anything until after the entire investigation. O his was out, the detectives daughter (Laura Dern) tells him what she has overheard of the case, which leads him to Rossillini, a nightclub singer who lives nearby in an apartment. He decides to sneak into hr apartment, to see what he can learn. This sets the story in motion. He learns that she likes to be hit, and is under the power of a real psycho bad guy played by Dennis Hopper in what is probably the creepiest performance ever filmed.

IMDb readers have this at 7.7 of 10. Lynch was nominated for a Best Director Oscar. Ebert hated it at one star. Berardinelli gave a rare 4 stars, and it is in his top 100 of all time list. I admire the film very much. What makes it work from me is the contrasts. The most obvious, of course, is the near fatal bee sting and the human ear, against the postcard perfect small town, but a more important one is Hoppers character vs MacLachlan, and Rossillini vs Dern. MacLachlan makes Hopper seem even more creepy, and so on. The film is beautifully photographed, ad the nudity from Rossillini is one of the better nude roles in American cinema. IMDb scores are pretty much even across age and gender lines. This is a clear B-. You might not enjoy it, as much of it is not at all pleasant, but you will not forget it, and you will definitely not be bored.

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  • Isabella Rossellini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

    "Les Cauchemars naissent la nuit"

    Les Cauchemars naissent la nuit (1970), or Nightmares Come At Night, is one of the more obscure Jess Franco films. IF you believed the box, you would think it stars the amazingly beautiful Soledad Miranda, who died in a car crash at the age of 27. In fact, she played a very minor role, but we do see her buns, and one breast from the side. The film actually stars Diana Lorys as a stripper who moves in with Colette Giacobine, and shares her bed, at least, until the nightmares start. She dreams of committing murders, and with each nightmare, she loses more of her grip on reality, until she can no longer tell what is dream and what is real. Of course, not everything is as it seems.

    Lorys is naked through most of the film, including extensive full frontal. Giacobine shows breasts and buns. The film is very roughly cut, as was often the case with Franco films. The dream sequences are probably the highlight of the film (besides the nudity), as they were very surreal and imaginative. The film never made me buy into Lorys' terror. Both the original dubbed French, and a poor English dub are available, along with optional English subtitles. The transfer is very nice considering the age of the film. The genre is 70s Eurotrash, and this is a worthy example from one of the masters, and is therefore a C.

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  • Colette Giacobine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Diana Lorys (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)
  • Soledad Miranda (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Two personal favorites on .wmv:



    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.



    • Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls - the most famous scene, I suppose - lap dancing stark naked.  (.avi) (.wmv)

    • Francine Locke in Risky Business (.avi) (.wmv)

    • Elizabeth Perkins in He Said, She Said  (.avi) (.wmv)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • Edwige Fenech, very nice topless scenes from the 1972 Italian movie "Case of the Bloody Iris".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Crimson Ghost
    Today the Ghost takes a look at the Skinemax flick "Girl for Girl" (2000).

    • Antoinette Abbott, the co-star of a couple of Heffer videos and of course the Skinemax flick "Womb Raider". Here she is topless.

    • Antoinette Abbott .wmvs (1, 2)

    • Flower Edwards aka Flower. The former hard core actress turned Skinmax regular going topless

    • Former Miss USA (1991) Kelli McCarty is back again today, but this time she's not as nude. Toplessness and some thong views only.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    • Kelli McCarty .wmvs. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Tracy Ryan (aka adult actress Avalon) showing off some very lovely toplessness in several scenes.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Tracy Ryan .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation"
    The Bugs are back in this 2004 direct-to-video sequel to the Sci-Fi/Adventure/Horror flick that was loved by many (including me), and hated by just as many. I was prepared for this version to be really bad, but it wasn't.

    When a group of troopers take refuge in an abandoned outpost while fighting the alien Bugs, they unwittingly come up against a new kind of Bug.

    While faithful to the theme, the sequel is very different than the original, with less of the human element, but plenty of action, horror, fighting, blood and guts, and some surprises. Definitely not a bad Sci-Fi, although it may disappoint fans of the original.

    MTV Movie Awards
    A few highlights from the MTV Movie Awards. Look for it to air June 10th at 9pm EST.

    Jennifer Love Hewitt
    (1, 2, 3)

    Hewitt looking pretty yummy while plugging her latest stinker of a movie on Leno. Excellent 'caps of leg and pokies by DeadLamb. For the JLH fans, "Garfield: The Movie" opens Friday.

    Nicole Kidman
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Jacinda Barrett
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Looks like the Skin-man got ahold of an early copy of "The Human Stain"! (due out on DVD July 20)

    Kidman is briefly topless. Aussie actress Jacinda Barrett is also topless, and shows some rear nudity in link #8 and far off full frontal views in #9.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Donated By Robin Williams - Teen Hollywood reports that young heartthrob Orlando Bloom has been working out for the new Crusades movie "Kingdom of Heaven," but the director thought he still didn't look manly enough and ordered him to wear fake chest hair.

  • It's a low budget film, so they put him in a Chewbacca costume without the head.
  • They skinned the monkey he worked with in "Pirates of the Caribbean" and taped it to his chest.

    It's Not Ulla Her - Matthew Broderick let slip to reporters that Nicole Kidman will wear a padded bra to play the buxom Swedish secretary Ulla in the upcoming movie musical of "The Producers."

  • Guess they couldn't find a blonde in Hollywood who already HAD big boobs.
  • Renee Zellweger offered to gain 30 pounds in her breasts to play that role.
  • And Nicole "let slip" that Matthew stuffed his crotch for "The Stepford Wives."

    Life Support - Sexy actress Alex Kingston, who has played surgeon Elizabeth Corday on "ER" for seven years, said the producers told her she's being written out because she's too old at 41. They want to focus on the cast members in their 20s. Kingston said it's fine to have young people to keep the show fresh, but they need authority figures, too, and she felt like part of the geriatric "old fogeys who are no longer interesting." She also noted that new, young cast members aren't paid as much, which may be a factor. She doesn't know how she'll be written out.

  • They'll have her fall and break a hip.
  • They could have her go in for a facelift and die on the operating table.
  • She'll be replaced with some minimum-wage squirt they found working at Burger King.
  • NBC is also replacing the cast of "Law & Order" with the Rug Rats.
  • "ER" doesn't need authority figures...Have you ever BEEN in an ER?

    Don't Leave Home Without It - At a UFO conference in Sofia, Bulgaria, Kiril Kanev, chairman of the Bulgarian Foundation on Cosmic Intelligence Research, announced the creation of a single cosmic currency for financial transactions between Earthlings and aliens. It's a coin called the "galactos," with a G and two parallel lines on it, like the dollar sign. Kanev said the proposal has been sent to high Bulgarian officials, adding that E.T.s come into contact with "insignificant, ordinary people," not government leaders, but after peace is established on Earth, they'll want to trade with us, and we can use the galactos.

  • Unfortunately, aliens already have a universal currency: human heads!
  • They can't even get Britain to accept the Euro.
  • E.T.s don't want galactos, they want Reese's Pieces.
  • The "G" stands for "Gee, this is stupid!"

    Funded By A Grant From Bill Clinton - Prof. Tim Spector of the Twin Research Unit at St. Thomas's Hospital in London says some people may be genetically programmed to be unfaithful. He studied female twins and found if one had a history of infidelity, there was a 55 percent chance the other would stray, too.

  • Man, this guy landed the greatest research project EVER!
  • Sadly, there was only a five percent chance that both twins would cheat with a medical researcher at the same time.
  • So if your mom had sex, you probably will, too.