 |
|
 |
|
More Salma Hayek...
Other Crap:
|
Since Cindy Margolis has
recently agreed to pose for Playboy at 40,
here she is at half that age!
"According to the Wall
Street Journal, Google will release a
Web-based spreadsheet application Tuesday."
PCWorld.com - The 100
Best Tech Products of the Past Year
The trailer from
The Night Listener
- Many people have
compared this story to the JT Leroy hoax
- "'The Night
Listener' tackles the narrative of Armistead
Maupin's most haunting page-turner, in which
popular public radio storyteller Gabriel
Noone (Robin Williams) develops an intense
phone relationship with a young listener
named Pete (Rory Culkin) and the social
worker who rescued him from a life of abuse
(Toni Collette). But Gabriel soon comes to
the startling realization that it is quite
possible that neither the boy nor his
painful account of his childhood really
exist."
The trailers from the
remake of All The King's Men,
starring Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Spicoli and
Dr. Lecter.
Ten short clips and a six
minute clip from The Omen
The trailer from Accepted
- This is a "slobs vs
snobs" comedy with a funny premise. High
school slacker (Justin Long) is rejected by
every college, so he forms his own
university with the aid of a subversive
uncle (Lewis Black).
The Media:
"There is ALWAYS a
'recent surge in violence.' in Iraq"
- True enough.
Violent surges are to Iraq as drunk driving
is to the Kennedy family
Colbert's complete
Commencement Address at Knox College
- Reports say that it
was well-received by both graduates.
The commencement speech
from the graduation ceremony of the University
of Phoienix online
It was all so simple
...
Donuts prevent and cure
cancer
DC Comics Unveils New
"Retarded" Superhero
This week's movies
(700 screens):
A Prairie Home Companion
- 81% positive reviews.
The latest offering for the NPR crowd was
directed by octogenarian Robert Altman.
This week's movies
(one gazillion screens):
Cars - 82% positive
reviews. (Even
the two critics who didn't like it heaped
praise on various elements of the film.)
This week's movies
(2600 theaters):
The Omen - 47% positive
reviews.
- This one is using a
gimmicky Tuesday opening because the date is
06-06-06, which if memory serves, is the
mark of the zorro. The word "zorro," of
course, is Spanish for "porn moustache"
Lady McCartney's lawyers
offer bullshit denial
- The lawyers said
the photos, which appeared in the Sun, and
which showed Lady McCartney in various poses
with an unidentified male model, were taken
for a "lover's guide to caring relationships
and instructive sex in the same way as are
many other books on the market."
- The Sun Responded
- "The Sun was only
able to publish a few images of the 172
printed in 'Die Freuden der Liebe' due to
the obscene and pornographic nature of the
photographs."
- "Far from being
an instruction manual, the book contains
not a word of text."
2006 MTV Movie Awards
Mega Pictures Post
The Old Negro Space
Program ...
the shocking but false saga of America's
blackstronauts
The second rule of Fight
Club: forget that first rule and chat about it
all you like.
You may even want to call Morley Safer and
tell him about it.
Cameron Diaz, Kate
Winslet, Jack Black, and Jude Law in the
trailer for 'The Holiday.'",
a rom-com with a Christmas theme.
Watch Scarlett Johansson
and Wolverine in the trailer for Woody Allen's
'Scoop.'
- The film also
features Al Swearingen and the Woodman
himself, but ol' Al is disappointingly tame
in the trailer and doesn't call anybody a
cunt or a cocksucker.
It seems that rumors of
Patrick McDermott's death have been greatly
exaggerated.
- McDermott, the
significant other of Olivia Newton-John, was
thought to have fallen overboard on a
fishing trip approximately one year ago. He
seems to have washed up in Mexico's Baja
Peninsula.
- There have always
been rumors that he faked his death to avoid
a mountain of debts and some criminal
charges involving unpaid child support.
"Deadwood" Gets New Life
- The series will not
have a fourth season, but will wrap up with
two two-hour movies.
- The budget for the
series is about $5 million per episode, so
those two extra movies will not be cheap.
Britney Spears has signed
preliminary divorce papers, according to
British reports.
Hugh Jackman and Halle
Barry go on British TV to promote ... Halle's
breasts
Playboy picks
The 25 Sexiest Novels
Ever Written
The conceptual design
work for X-Men 3
Remember the ABA: Uniform
and Warmup Galleries
MovieJuice! reviews
X-Men: The Last Stand - Hail and Halle
MIRA SORVINO AND HUSBAND
SHUNNED BY HOLLYWOOD FOR NAMING BABY "JOHNNY"
- Let me say in their
defense that their daughter is named "Mattea"
Did anyone in the
Americas make a record of the supernova of
1006?
Colorado Rockies to draft
Desperate Housewife?
"CHERTOFF CUTS
ANTI-TERROR FUNDING; ASKS OSAMA TO CUT TERROR
FUNDING" ...
Homeland Security Boss Makes Pitch to
Budget-Conscious Bin Laden"
"PENTAGON CALLS
"OPERATION INSTANT EXONERATION" A SUCCESS
... Military Probe of Iraqi Raid Sets New
World Speed Record
- "We have worked
hard to make our military probes faster,
lighter, and more cursory than ever before."
The Break-up, as reviewed
by the Chosen One, aka The Filthy Critic
- "It's the kind of
toilet paper that Hollywood specializes in;
shitty but disposable, dissolving in the
sewers of our minds and then forgotten
before heading back to the shit-processing
plant of Hollywood where it will be
retrieved and recycled into more toilet
paper."
Prepare to waste a
good portion of your day:
Criticker - a personal
film review engine.
- You score some key
films, and it gives you a list of critics
with similar tastes. If you register, it
also allows you to see users with similar
tastes.
- In theory, this
should give you a good idea of whether you
will like films which you have not seen
|
|
|
|
|
|
Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Lurking in Suburbia (2006)
Trasgredire (2000) is a Tinto Brass excuse to show close-ups of women's
bare asses, and other body parts as well. The Italian title is actually a
dual one. Look at any of the images below, and you will see that it is both
Trasgredire, which means transgress, and Tradire, which means to betray.
They have translated this to Cheeky! for English audiences, as nothing in
English would be suitable to convey the double meaning. They have released
two versions, "unrated English version" and "unrated uncensored Italian
version." I didn't watch the English one frame by
frame, but I checked several spots for vaginal penetration and erect
penises, and I think the two versions have identical contents.
The running times are identical. I could find only two differences. In the English version, the
spoken language is 100% English. In the Italian version, the spoken language
is mostly Italian, but since the film takes place in England, there is
substantial English as well. The other difference is not within the film but on the keeper case
cover. On the Italian version the Italian name of the film is misspelled!
Yuliya Mayarchuk plays a Venetian living in London. She needs a bigger
flat because her boyfriend is coming from Venice for an extended visit. At any rate, Yuliya runs into lesbian
rental agent Francesca Nunzi, who is impressed enough to give her a flat on
the Themes rent-free. She also gives her more than a little attention. The
boyfriend is not very happy about the news that Yuliya is the object of lust
for a lesbian, but when he goes to her house to pick up a couple of items
and finds old love letters and a naked photo of her, he becomes insanely
jealous. Fortunately, he comes to his senses, but not before Yuliya has
several more experiences.
Here is an important travel tip from Tinto: according to him, the women
of Venice are the biggest cheaters in the world. Unfortunately, you have to
see their asses to determine whether they are cheating. You see, Tinto
believes that the modern woman is sexually free, and that women are expert
at lying with their faces, but that their asses always tell the truth. Based
on the above, I guess we could say that he created this butt-fest in pursuit
of the truth.
Guess how he cast his lead actress, Yuliya
Mayarchuk.
She was working in a pizza parlor. He liked her ass and she got the part.
Are you surprised?
As it turns out, his ass theory was valid. Yuliya turned out to be a
solid actress/comedienne who has gone on to steady work on TV and the big
screen since this appearance.
If you like sex farces, give this one a try. This was made long
after the heyday of this genre, but that's a plus because the production values
here are far superior to what one sees in the vintage sex farces, especially the Italian ones.
There is copious female nudity, including gynocam shots, and there are moments
of solid humor sprinkled throughout the film. Co-star Francesca Nunzi is
especially hilarious in her single-minded horniness. By our yardstick,
this is a solid C, a good genre flick.
IMDb readers say 5.2.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Pat's comments in yellow...
According to an annual test by GMAC Insurance, Rhode Island has the stupidest
drivers for the second year in a row, while Oregon has the smartest. The test
found that one in 11 licensed drivers would fail a driver's test if they had to
take it now. The Northeast had the worst-informed drivers, with Washington, DC,
New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts all at the bottom. One in three drivers
said they usually don't stop for pedestrians in crosswalks, and one out of five
didn't even know pedestrians have the right of way.
* Well, everywhere except New York...
* In New Jersey, pedestrians are known as "people who are lookin' to get
whacked."
* Five out of five Americans think a yellow traffic light means "Floor it!!"
* In fairness, the average driving test score for Washington, DC, was brought
way down by Patrick and Ted Kennedy.
Paris Hilton announced that she's decided never to get plastic surgery. She
said she once wanted a boob job, but her dad told her it would cheapen her
image. So she's now decided not to get any plastic surgery because "I don't
need it" and "it's gross" and she doesn't want to be accused of looking fake.
* Being fake is fine, but looking fake is gross.
* And that's why Paris Hilton would never do anything to cheapen her
image.
There's a new twist to the divorce of Sir Paul and Lady Heather McCartney:
London's Sun tabloid claims that in her modeling days, she posed for a book of
porn shots in Germany. The paper ran some of the less graphic photos, but they
said the book shows her nude, semi-nude and in bondage gear with whips,
handcuffs and edible panties. She is shown performing a sex act on a nude male
porn star who then uses a sex toy on her; and smearing herself and the man with
whipped cream and baby oil. Paul had previously defended Heather, claiming that
rumors of her "colorful past" were all slurs by jealous fans and mean paparazzi.
* And oily German porn stars...
* The divorce may be rough, but at least the honeymoon must've been
interesting.
* This certainly puts a new spin on the song, "My Love Does It Good."
Archaeologists say that a crude drawing of a face discovered on a cave
wall in western France is the oldest known portrait of a human
* Unless you count Joan Rivers' baby photos.
Jennifer Aniston finally has some good news: despite lousy reviews, her
movie "The Break-Up" was #1 over the weekend with $38 million, ending a
string of flops that threatened to kill her movie career
* The bad news: now, more real-life couples will be
making movies together, and that road leads back to "Gigli."
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
