Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Junior is on holiday, so I am your acting compere for a couple of
9 Songs (1980):
More of Margo Stilley in the arty hardcore porn flick directed by
mainstream director Michael Winterbottom. Smaller clips again today.
Almost finished. One more long clip left for tomorrow.
Point of Origin (2002):
Very good suggestion by one of our readers. Fairly interesting
movie and some nudity from Ileana Douglas. Before seeing this, I
thought the closest she ever came was
this sequence in Grace of
Warning: this entire review is one big
Point of Origin, an HBO film, is the (mostly) true story of a
legendary arson investigator, John Orr, who turned out to have
started many of the fires he investigated. At one time, many people
believed that he had a nearly supernatural gift for finding the
point of origin and the incendiary devices. As it turns out, he was
not a genius. He just knew where to look and what to look for. He
was eventually nabbed because he had been writing a work of fiction
about the very situation he was involved in - an arson specialist
who turned out to be investigating crimes he himself had committed.
Although the only physical evidence was a single fingerprint from
similar crimes committed years earlier, prosecutors said that the
crimes in the novel were extremely similar to real-life crimes, and
included details of those crimes which could only have been known by
the arsonist. A study of Orr's cases also showed that Orr once
arrived at a fire before he could have known about it from the
dispatcher. On the basis of this largely circumstantial case, Orr
was convicted and sentenced to four consecutive life sentences,
although he never admitted committing the crimes.
There have been various theories about why Orr committed the
crimes, assuming that he did. The prevalent theory is that he was
creating a scenario in which he would be a hero. In a smaller sense,
he was committing arson in fairly complicated ways that puzzled
other investigators, but which Orr seemed to solve effortlessly,
thus establishing his unrivaled mastery of his profession. In a
greater sense, he was creating a super villain nemesis for himself,
thus turning himself into the super hero needed to defeat the
fictional criminal genius. This was not only stoking his ego, but
was fanning his creative flame for his novel as well.
I don't really like one gimmick the film used to present the
events. We see John Orr working as a tireless investigator, and we
see a red haired man actually committing the crimes. Of course, the
purpose of this split personality device is to allow the events to
unfold as a mystery in which the viewer originally has no idea that
the arsonist and investigator are the same person. In that sense it
serves an important purpose in the script. The problem with this
gimmick is that it leads the audience to draw the wrong conclusions
even after the real criminal is revealed. Because the redhead
matches perfectly with two sketches made from eyewitness accounts, a
viewer must conclude that either (1) Orr is really not the arsonist,
after all; or (2) Orr committed the crimes in disguise.
In the last analysis, neither of those solutions was correct. At
the conclusion of the film we are led to believe that Orr did commit
the crimes, for the same reasons that the jury convicted him, and
because the last thing we hear is a TV anchor's voice reporting that
the number of arsons in the L.A. area dropped by some astronomical
percentage after Orr was incarcerated, followed by Orr's own voice
saying "it's about ego (echo) ego."
Then what the hell was the deal with that redhead?
He was there as the result of the film having adopted a very
obscure literary device. When the film is over, we realize that half
of what we just watched was a movie about the real-life
investigation, and the other half was a film adaptation of Orr's
actual novel, the scenes he was picturing in his mind as he typed up
the book which would eventually get him convicted. (That book did
eventually get published, by the way.) These scenes were similar,
but not identical, to real life, and thus were able to be woven
seamlessly into the actual events. The redhead was from the portion
of the film which pictorialized the novel. He was a fictional
villain created by Orr the author. Looking back on the film after
having watched it, it is not always possible to conclude which
events were created by Orr the arsonist and which were fictional
embellishments created by Orr the novelist.
I found the fictional arsonist device quite confusing, but I will
certainly have to give props to the writer and the director for a
very creative interpretation of the project. Whether I like it or
not, they put a lot of thought into presenting the facts in a way
that would allow the case to be cinematically interesting, rather
than just droning on like a docudrama. The director also brought all
sorts of fancy cinematic tricks to the table, in an attempt to get
deep inside Orr's head. In fact, the revelation of Orr's thought
process is quite complex, because at first we think we are getting
into the head of a truly gifted investigator, but gradually we see
that we are getting into the head of a novelist who romanticizes his
investigatory acumen, and who keeps moving the fantasy farther and
farther from reality.
The director is Tom Sigel, whose directorial resumé is nothing
special at all (this is his only solo non-documentary), but who is
one of the most gifted and creative cinematographers of our time.
Here is a partial list of films in which he has been
That list includes good films and bad, but the cinematography is
outstanding in all of them. He is currently working on three more
projects with high visibility:
The Brothers Grimm.
Obviously, Sigel felt that he had learned from some masters,
especially Bryan Singer, and wanted a chance to direct on his own.
HBO gave him that chance. If the result of his maiden solo effort
was not an award winner, neither was it a failure, and it was
consistently inventive. He also picked the right stars and got some
fine work from his actors, including subtle and controlled
performances from two actors who are normally used to flashier and
more effusive roles, Ray Liotta and John Leguizamo.
Whither Sigel's directing career? As The Terminator would say,
"He'll be back."
(Assuming he wants to be)
- Oh, yeah, here's the Ileana pictures. (1,
- Weird Al? Are you there?
The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.
- The tough thing about having the biggest ball of twine is
that there's always another ball of twine gunnin' for ya. It's
like being the fastest gun in the West. Or maybe its' more like
when Flintheart Glomgold tried to reduce Uncle Scrooge to the
second-richest duck in the world. Y'know, if I had the second
biggest ball of twine in Minnesota, I'd be rollin' my ass off
- The submitter of this item wrote: "The guys who went on the
road trip (described on the linked web page) also visited the
Mecca of Albino Squirrels. There is a link to that on their
page. I googled up all of the other places Weird Al mentions in
the "Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota" and, believe it or not,
they are all real places: The Boll Weevil Monument, Poodle Dog
Rock, The Shuffleboard Hall of Fame, Elvis-o-rama - they all
- "Scoop ...remember posting a week or two ago about a guy named
"Prophet Yahweh" who said he would call down UFO's over Las Vegas
for everyone to see beginning on June 1 and lasting until June 15?
Well, with no UFO's being reported I went to his site last night
to see if he had any excuses. The visitors page states the
following: BREAKING UFO NEWS! THIS SITE HAS BEEN SABOTAGED. It
will be temporarily out of service.
Here is the direct link."
Deep Throat Revealed: President's Statement Regarding Raging Media
Snoozefest Over the Unmasking of Geriatric Nixon Era Turncoat
"Cock Gargler" - (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Weekly World News: "Score with chicks by using reverse
COLONY OF SUPER-EVOLVED MICROBES HAS TINY KINGDOM IN TED KENNEDY'S
- Sen. Ted Kennedy's droopy "geezer butt" is NOT just the
object of crude and ribald jokes on the floor of the U.S. Senate
-- it houses a colony of superevolved microbes that have
developed a high level of civilization!
Who will take home a Tony? And, more to the point, who
Urban Legend: Subway is ending its long-running Sub Club promotion
due to the prevalence of counterfeit stamps.
The original script for South Park 112 - Mecha Streisand."While
on an archaeological dig, the kids discover an ancient artifact
that unleashes the evil power of Barbra Streisand on the world."
Unholy matrimony - celebrity morphs
SNL looks at Michael Jackson's new animated series.
Rosario Dawson to portray a college student who becomes a
"vengeful seductress" after a shocking act of violence
Sopranos 6th season will begin in March '06
AARP picks the fifty hottest old geezers.
Bad odors may cause bad driving. Interestingly, this
line was in a Robert Frost first draft, right after "Good fences
make good neighbors"
Designers launch a range of fashion clothing for chickens.
- "The chicken suits come in various sizes, and had their
first presentation in the Austrian pavilion of the World
exhibition in Nagoya, Japan, where 20 chickens paraded a catwalk
with Mozart music playing in the background. The chicken suit
collection will continue its world-wide tour with shows planned
in Tokyo, Paris, Mexico City and Vienna."
eBay - Designer Stuhl WC Exclusiv Einzelstueck Damenbeine neu.
"Es gibt so wenig ueber dieses Objekt zu sagen, weil die Bilder
fuer sich sprechen". That means - "there's little that needs to be
said about this item, because the picture speaks for itself,"
although it does that self-speaking in German.
Welcome To In-Souls: Inspirational Scripture Shoe Inserts and
Scripture Socks - And now - customizable with the name
of your own religious foot fetish organization!
- Man resuscitates chicken!
The Daily Show's Ed Helms stages a cloying, manipulative
award-hopeful re-enactment of an unbelievably ridiculous event.
Jon Stewart teaches the president the difference between
'dissemble' and 'disassemble.'
The trailer for The World
- "The latest film from Chinese director Jia Zhangke (Platorm,
Unknown Pleasures) focuses on a young dancer, her security-guard
boyfriend and others who work at World Park, a bizarre
cross-pollination of Las Vegas and Epcot Center where visitors
can interact with famous international monuments without ever
leaving the Bejing suburbs. Daily lavish shows are performed
amongst replicas of the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower, St. Mark's
Square, Big Ben, the Pyramids and even the Twin Towers. But
working beyond the kitsch potential, The World casts a
compassionate eye on the daily loves, friendships and desperate
dreams of these provincial workers."
If Jeffrey Dahmer Had Been a Right Wing Pundit
Chappelle Gives Surprise L.A. Show
"Imagine an electric car that produces hardly any noise, no air
pollution, and is as fast as a Ferrari."
- Are you one of the millions who thought Darth Vader's "NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
scene over Padme's death was a bit out of character? Well, it
really is right up his alley. Check out
Darth's Daily Tragedies!
- URL says it all:
Key West Fantasy Fest Body Painting . Very entertaining
Legendary sports stars in the "wrong" uniform. Mays as
a met, Namath as a Ram, etc.
- URL says it all:
- If you like P.J. Soles, today is your lucky day.Uncle
Scoopy's Guest House features the Extended Cut of Stripes,
which includes a Soles nude scene which has never been seen
publicly in the 25 years since the film was lensed.
Lawyers sue God
The Guardian profile: Ewan McGregor. The highly
compensated movie superstar is now working for peanuts - doing
eight performances per week in Guys and Dolls, with a six month
commitment. That's Ewan. Interesting guy.
- No DVD, but
Here is the controversial 49ers Training Film you read about!
All 14 minutes of it. Racial stereotypes, lesbian porn, and the
other things that make life worth living.
Brooke Shields has officially engaged with Tom Cruise in what is
fast becoming a celebrity war of the words.
Three films, early death, lasting fame - The legacy of James Dean
Running out of paper to throw in your office waste basket?
Virtual paper is unlimited, and the game even includes variable
Cameron Diaz sues US tabloid over claims of 'cheating' on
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Lost Lake (2005) is a direct to vid. It came about because husband and wife
writing team Anthony and Christina Adams were at a Sierra Lake, and found a rock
that someone had carved very serious and emotional poetry into. When they found
that it was done 30 years to the day from the time they found it, the urge to
come up with a script to explain it was born. Most of the film is a flashback.Thumbnails (1,
The location is a remote ski lodge. Angel Boris has been having sex with
someone, and an older guest is not happy with his weekend, then an earthquake
triggers an avalanche. Cut to two weeks before. Angel Boris has a job reciting
poetry and serving latte at a coffee house, and decides to move on. She takes a
job as maid and girl Friday at the ski lodge. The lodge is run by old hippy Mark
Collie, and young former Olympic skier Michael McLafferty. Guests include the
rich older professor with his latest young grad student conquest, Daisy
McCrackin, and McLafferty's estranged half brother, extreme ski border Frayne
Rosanoff. We have some great extreme skiing, including some great stunt work of
bad skiing from the professor's character, 15 second sex between the professor
and McCrackin, and a budding relationship between Boris and McLafferty.
McCrackin ends up with Rosanoff. The professor pays generously for his yearly
visits -- enough to keep the old lodge solvent.
We slowly learn that there is some history between Collie and McLafferty's
father and mother, and somehow Boris is tangled up in the mix. Yes, we
eventually learn the supernatural reason for Boris's visions and uneasy
feelings. We come full circle to the opening avalanche, and then the resolution
The story is muddled, and this film can best be described as uneven, but there
are many bright spots. We get long lingering looks at Angel Boris' breasts and
buns, there are beautiful scenics, some great extreme skiing, a good fight or
two, and my personal favorite scene, when McCracken gets her bare butt stuck to
a brass plaque. Note that the two reviewers linked at IMDb used that scene as an
example of how terrible the script was. I can only assume they are pun impaired.
There are not enough votes for an IMDb score, and no comments as yet. The film
is not perfect. The plot can be a little hard to follow, and it tries to
encompass too many genres, but I watched it start to finish. As in many less
than perfectly written films, it all comes down to whether or not you like the
characters, and I did. C-.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
A little variety for today.
First up: a "Babe in Bondage" from a pretty creepy
New York Ripper". It's a Lucio Fulci movie so you know
it's going to
be a gory mess. Here we have Daniela Doria (
(except for panties) to a bed and being threatened
with a razor blade. This one is not for the faint
For the "Hankster Light" show, we feature two starlets from
"My Boss's Daughter". First we have Tara Reid (1
) looking sexy in bra &
panties and then
Carmen Electra (1
) in the water for some breasts seen thru her
'Caps and comments by Dann:|
wonder whether Shelley Michelle got the lead of this 2004 Sci-Fi B-movie based
on acting ability or big boobs, the first few minutes should supply the answer.
She plays an intergalatic agent sent to a planet to bust a drug ring trying
to spread a new drug throughout the universe. She's also there to rescue an
agent sent previously, who has dissappeared.
There's plenty of action, and quite a bit of nudity, but the special effects
are pretty lame, the script isn't great, nor is the acting. On top of that, they
used a lot of oversaturated lighting to give it an other-wordly feel, so it was
a bear to cap.
Save this one for late at night, when you don't really care what you watch.
| Anne Caillere
L' Âge des possibles, (I don't know the film. It is
rated 6.9 at IMDb)
"Ten young people ( boys and girls) at the age at which all is
possible. They meet, they love, they choose. The film comes and goes between all
those people, revealing their anguish, their dreams, depicting the portrait of a
generation of the 90's which has both the fury and the fear of life."
|Stark naked full frontal in broad daylight from 1994's Un été inoubliable. (I
haven't seen it, but it is rated an impressive 7.5 at IMDb)
"In 1925 Bulgaria,
young Marie-Therese Von Debretsy refuses the flirtatious advances of her
husband's commanding officer. As a result, the cosmopolitan family is reassigned
to a brutally bleak and dangerous outpost on the Bulgarian/Romanian frontier
where both their relationship and humanity are severely tested."
Topless caps from 1996's
Undertow. (5.1 at IMDb, Co-written by Kathryn
Bigelow, the director of Point Break and Strange Days. Bigelow is a good
director, but her writing credits are straight-to-vid. Her best is Near Dark,
which did get a brief theatrical release. You've probably come across it on
cable. That's the gory vampire flick with Lance Hendrikson in which the vamps
assault a redneck bar.)
"After his car breaks down, Jack seeks shelter Lost from a
thunderstorm in a remote shack in the woods. He finds himself held at gunpoint
by a deranged mountain man who lives there with his young wife. As the storm
rages on, tension mounts in the small cabin. Matters reach a climax when Jack
falls for the beautiful woman and tries persuading her to escape with him. Soon,
the situation escalates into deadly violence..."
Topless in the 1993 Olivier Assayas film, Une Nouvelle Vie.
You can see brief flashes of her nether parts in collage #4. (The
film is rated
5.9 at IMDb. Assayas is also the director of the laughably incoherent
"Tina is a young warehousewoman in a supermarket. She is in love with Fred but
still lives at her mother's. When her mother dies, Tina tries to arrange a
meeting with her father, whom she never knew. On the way to her father she first
meets her half-sister, and her father's lawyer."
This plot summary just makes you want to run out and find a copy, doesn't it?
|Selma tries on a pair of 75 FFFs to play a leading role in
A Dirty Shame, a typically tawdry comedy (6.0 at
IMDb) from the
loony but lovable John Waters.|
"Lust is in the air on Harford
Road and Sylvia Stickles, a grumpy, repressed middle-aged Baltimorean, doesn't
like it. Though Sylvia's handsome husband Vaughn still has marital urges, his
wife could not be less interested -- she has more important things to do. Not
only does Sylvia run the family's Pinewood Park and Pay convenience store, she's
also responsible for watching over her exhibitionist daughter Caprice. A go-go
dancer known to her adoring fans as Ursula Udders, Caprice and her stupendously
enlarged breasts are currently under house arrest after several nude and
disorderly violations. But Sylvia's world is turned upside down one day after
suffering a concussion in a freak traffic accident. Sexy tow-truck driver
Ray-Ray Perkins rushes to her aid, and the stricken Sylvia realizes he is no
ordinary service man; he's a sexual healer who brings Sylvia's hidden cauldron
of lust to the boiling point."
||From some French magazine. It seems to be a strip of candid
shots from a cell phone cam or something. Not sure of the exact details.|
|The sweet/sexy actress and pop star captured sunning in a bikini.
|Gone are the days when the Eurotrash queen
would spend most of a movie naked, but she can still flash the flesh when
necessary, as she demonstrates here in 2004's
The Heart Is
Deceitful Above All Things, which one IMDb contributor
described as a "Depraved, sick film in the realm
of Pier Paolo Pasolini's Salo."
In spite of that, it is rated 6.2 at IMDb. To get to the good stuff, go directly
to image #3.
It "is based on JT Leroy's critically acclaimed novel of
the same name. The story is about Jeremiah, a child who is pulled from his
foster home and thrown into a troubled life on the road with his teenage mother,
Sarah. With Sarah, Jeremiah travels through the country roads of the U.S. and
learns first hand about the troubles of the world. With an impressive cast
including Oscar winner Peter Fonda (Easy Rider, Ulees Gold), Jeremy Renner (S.W.A.T),
and Asia Argento (starred opposite Vin Diesel in XXX), The Heart is Deceitful
Above All Things will be one of the most anticipated independent film projects
|Asia Argento redux
|Here she is, flashing her well-inked rump in
Les Morsures de l'aube (Love Bites, 2001,
rated 5.2 at IMDb)
The Arrow described it as follows:
"Antoine (Canet) is a party animal who lives out of a gym
locker. One night, he uses the name of a wealthy club hopper named Jordan to get
access to a shindig. Shit goes sour when the dude that threw the soiree forces
Antoine to search for this enigmatic Jordan and his gal pal Violaine (Asia
Argento). Antoine has to fight through the jungle that is the Parisian nightlife
and seek out these two dark birds. Oh…I almost forgot…Jordan and Violaine might
|In her physical prime at 25, the pretty
Swede shows off a beautiful shape in Magnetisörens femte
vinter (The Fifth Winter of the Magnetist, 1999, 6.8 at IMDb)|
"A mysterious stranger, Meisner, arrives in a northern Swedish town in 1820,
calling himself a magnetist - an amalgam of hypnotist and healer - and claiming
he can cure diseases un-treatable by doctors. Ignoring the objections of his
colleagues, Dr. Selander allows Meisner to cure his blind daughter, Maria, who
not only regains her sight, but also falls in love with the charismatic
magnetist. Dark secrets and repressed memories start to emerge, amidst the love
between father and daughter, man and woman."
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
IF YOUR MATE IS
BETTER-LOOKING, SAY GOODBYE
Roast Him! - In the new book "Why We Love," Rutgers anthropologist Dr.
Helen Fisher says someone who has a vastly more attractive partner has a 50
percent chance of being dumped. Fisher told the New York Post that
"mate-poaching" is Darwinian: women think more attractive males are a good
catch, but they'll spend all their time and energy trying to keep them and
would be better off setting their sights lower. Surveys show that over 50
percent of people admit to trying to poach someone else's mate, or allowing
themselves to be poached. The ultimate example: Jennifer Aniston is very
cute, but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are both gorgeous.
- Of course, in a few years, he'll be "ruggedly handsome" and she'll be
"over the hill," and he'll dump her.
- It wasn't easy for Jen to find a man who's prettier than she is, but she
- Of course, if you're an ugly old rich dude with a hot young wife, you
won't be dumped.
- So women have to kiss a lot of princes before they find their toad.
- Hooray! I've waited years for a self-help book that tells women to set
their sights lower!
- Women who think gorgeous men are a good catch SHOULD be dumped, because
they're too dumb to be in the gene pool.
PLAYBOY DOESN'T BAG 'EM ALL
So Get A Blockbuster Card - Believe it or not, not every famous woman is posing
naked. Playboy picture editor Marilyn Grabowski says she made Halle Berry a
very attractive offer 10 years ago, and Berry said, "When I've got the right
film, I'll do it," but she hasn't called back. Grabowski said she also
approached Britney Spears, but Britney wanted a "ridiculous" amount of money:
"It was too much, let's put it that way."
- Really, isn't any amount of money too much?
- And now, Britney herself is too much.
- Give her another year and she'll do it for a Moon
Pie and a Yoo-Hoo.
- Halle should've posed for Playboy when she made
"Monster's Ball;" she could've worn the same outfit.
STALLONE PLANNING "RAMBO 4"
Biggest Threat Facing America: White Supremacists! - After 17 years, Sylvester
Stallone is preparing to make a new Rambo movie. In this one, Rambo tries to
settle down in the boondocks with his wife and family. But local white
supremacists don't like his Navaho ancestry and kidnap his daughter, so out
comes the old machine gun. Stallone says this movie will have fewer violent
action scenes and be more character-driven.
- The director is Woody Allen.
- We'll get to learn about the painful, inner
torment of the white supremacists, just before Rambo machine guns them down.
- The action scenes can't last as long because the
elderly Rambo will need to pee.
LACK OF CRUISE CONTROL CRASHING TOM'S CAREER
Suddenly Cruisin' - Hollywood is buzzing that Tom Cruise may be ruining his
career with his odd behavior. Studios are said to be hesitant to bankroll
"Mission Impossible 3" with Tom leaping about, screaming his love for Katie
Holmes, promoting Scientology and attacking psychology and medication for mental
problems. Many women told USA Today that he'd turned them off forever by
scaring their idol, Oprah. And his attack on Brooke Shields for using
anti-depressants prompted her to tell People magazine, "Tom should stick to
saving the world from aliens, and let women who are experiencing postpartum
depression decide what treatment options are best for them."
- If she weren't on medication, that quote would
- That's absurd: Tom doesn't fight space
aliens!...He worships them!
- Ironically, Tom has become a walking
advertisement for Lithium.
- Don't worry about Oprah: she could kick his ass.
- Know who seems really at peace these days?
|A quick site note
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