Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

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Wednesday

Web and Celeb

One more day, for those who missed it. This was probably the most comprehensive explanation (with minor editing) about the Lorissa McComas sorta-hardcore clip. See below.

"That clip is the real deal. That particular piece is from a film called "Strap-On Adventures" from Purrfect Productions, a video company owned by former b-movie bimbo Monique Gabrielle. The company specializes in bims going farther than you'll ever see them elsewhere. The other girl, the one in the mask, is Julie K Smith, who appears in tons of bad movies. The film quality is often wacky as the cameraman sometime takes part in the shots, so the camera bounces around, but if you are a fan of one of the girls, it may be the only place to go. A lot of girls have left the company. Apparently they did the videos thinking they were finaanced by some rich guys for their own pleasure. When the vids went to a larger audience, they freaked and called their lawyers. You can hear them talking about Vinny in the clip. Lorissa thought she was making a private show for him. The company has a web site at www.sexsymboldynasty.com, but the hardcore films are not listed, you have to call and ask about them. The Lorissa videos are pretty good, though she tries not to go too far and can be fussy (but the part in one film, where she negotiates on camera about taking a dildo in the ass, is hilarious). She goes down on Julie Smith in "Tastee Freeze", which is very nice. The videos are pricey and may not have as much action as you were hoping for, but if you're a Lorissa fan, get some before the lawyers take them away."

American Spectator magazine reported this week on Hillary Clinton's exploratory trips to New York. (She's researching a run at one of New York's famous "open" senate seats). So far, her junkets to New York have cost taxpayers more than a million dollars, and have been charged to the State department. The magazine reported that Secretary of State Madeline Albright tried to find out why she was being billed for Hillary's travel, but the First Lady's staff didn't return Albright's calls. I suppose they were all in St Thomas, and charging it to the Navy.

Mrs Clinton's husband told reporters that he'd run for a third term if he weren't barred by the Constitution. Huh? When did he ever let the constitution stand in his way?

The Chinese actually had a pretty good refutation of the nuclear secrets allegations. They pointed out that they are not stupid, and there was no need to spy to get any of the information cited, which is all available on the internet, including detailed plans for the W-88 warhead. (Boy, that's good to know, isn't it?) Republicans pointed out, contrary to their earlier denials, that Al Gore really did invent the internet. The Chinese did admit that they had a spy steal Clinton's URL for Uncle Scoopy's Fun House because even though it was available on the internet, they lost their bookmarks when Win 98 crashed. They also admitted to a purloined AdultCheck from one of those password sites.

Six ballerinas from the English National Ballet will appear in "Loaded" next month, without their tutus. They will be wearing bikinis, leather, rubber, and other hot stuff. Spokesmen for the ballet replied (and let me stress here that I did NOT make this part up, because the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction) that the move was calculated to expose the ballet to a demographic group of active young males who didn't realize that ballet has sexy women and is comparable in price to a sporting event.

From my mailbox, from Beercaps: Ask people to write the WWF at wwffans@wwf.com. Tell them you want to see more nudity from the wrestlers and valets, or you'll stop paying for the PPV's or something like that, because they claim that they incorporate fan response into their story lines.

OK, Vince, what I'd like to see is for Sable to get really mad at some internet porno guy who publishes her pictures on his rasslin' page. So she challenges him to a one-on-one. If she wins, he removes all her pictures and apologizes. If he wins, well, he doesn't need to win anything because once he has her pinned and helpless, he'll figure out what to do. Oh, yeah, and this internet guy, let's call him The Masked Uncle from Parts Unknown, he has a valet. A really cute one. That's an important part of the storyline because just as Sable is about to win, the valet enters the ring, and rips off Sable's bra. They catfight for a while, both ending up naked out of the ring, and the internet guy wins on a DQ because of a count-out. Actually, Beercaps was serious about the letter. I just kind of got carried away.

The Realist

The Realist outdid himself today. This is one beautiful batch of vidcaps, maybe the best I've ever seen. The subject is "Sirens". I feel like I've seen this movie because of all the vidcaps over the years, but I really never have. I think I will rent it after looking at these. The plot doesn't really matter when so many foxes are naked so often. Fox #1 is Portia de Rossi. (You'll see the other girls in many of these frames, even though I may say it is Portia or Elle). In these first three frames, Portia is as naked as the day she was born, with nothing hidden. Here she poses.

Portia, posing again

Standing on a mountaintop with the other female stars of the movie, all stark naked.

Portia in the water, topless, in the nighttime scene.

The next Siren is one you may have heard of. Elle Macpherson gained 25 pounds to play this role, and she appeared at various weights during the filming. If you look at the mountaintop scene above, or at this one of her posing, she was fairly slim.

Look at Elle in this one. She was quite full-figured in the topless wading daylight scene. Tough script to write "They walk down to the ol' watering hole. Elle gets naked. Camera follows her for, oh, maybe an week or so."

More posing.

More posing. Side-rear view this time.

The nighttime wading scene. Very full breasted.

Elle's breasts in an arty shot surrounding Tara Fitzgerald's head.

Daytime wading