Friday


Project X

2012, extended Blu-Ray version

You probably remember this because it was just in theaters a couple of months ago. It's sort of Superbad meets Blair Witch, I guess. It supposedly consists of "found footage" of the most epic high school party ever thrown, involving 1500 kids, ecstasy, nudity and flamethrowers.

Reminds me of when I returned to Rochester for my 40th high school reunion and one of my old buds told me about a party I wasn't invited to (hey, thanks, high school classmates). It took place in a rich family's house on the lake and ended up with everyone getting drunk (surprise!) and taking out the family's deluxe cabin cruiser for a little 2 A.M. spin. Somehow the people on the boat managed to take some guns with them and that, combined with the fact that they were drunk and had no idea how to operate a power boat, was a recipe for disaster. Although they didn't hurt any human beings, they did manage to sink the boat, forcing everyone on board to swim back to shore, presumably clinging to life jackets and the ship's debris.

Firearms, rum and sinking ships? That's not a party. It's a Johnny Depp movie.

I'm thinking that the kid's dad was probably not happy when he got home and found that his spiffy boat and his gun collection were at the bottom of Lake Ontario. I reckon that the kid is probably still grounded, some 45 years later, and is still checking off chores on his "pay back" list, praying for his parents to die.

Man, that was not like the parties they invited me to. It seemed like the boys and girls inevitably ended up talking in separate groups on opposite sides of the room, and the only drink was some foul red juice that was sort of like watered-down Hawaiian Punch.

Thanks again, high school classmates.

Anyway, the party in this film is like the ones I wasn't invited to.

I guess.

I wasn't there, so I don't know for sure.

Now, I don't have any objection to "found footage" movies. From time to time spooky films have been very effective at using putatively real footage to make a story seem like it really happened, which naturally makes it seem much scarier than if it had just been some crap they made up. That's fine for horror films, but there is an inherent problem in applying the same technique to youthploitation comedy. Real-life teenagers don't walk around making witty comments like movie teens, or getting false ID's with humorous names like McLovin. The only reason movie teens are funny is that professional writers agonize for months over their dialogue. Real teens laugh a lot at their parties, but it's because they are stoned or drunk and are living in the moment with people they know. They make fun of mutual acquaintances or laugh at various self-destructive antics transpiring around them. I used to laugh at the same things myself, but those things don't seem funny when you are (a) an outsider and (b) sober. Unfortunately, that's us in the audience - we're the sober outsiders. Ya know, it's just not that much fun to watch random people get high, throw up, and break things. That stuff is only funny to the people who know the other participants, and even then only in the drunken moment.

So the filmmaker was stuck with a dilemma. If he wanted to maintain the illusion of reality, he had to have the kids act like real drunken kids, who aren't all that funny except to themselves. Mr Auteur ultimately had to choose between maintaining the illusion and providing some laughs. In general, he opted for the illusion, which doesn't seem to have been the right choice, given that many of the film's events are completely implausible, so the action doesn't seem that real anyway.

To sum this all up more directly, the filmmaker ended up with a comedy, minus the funny stuff.

At least I think it was supposed to be a comedy, but how would you know?




Rotten Tomatoes: a deplorable 26% positive reviews

BUT

IMDb: a respectable 6.5

Why is there such a difference between the critics and the IMDb voters? That's explained by looking at the IMDb ratings sorted by the age of the voters.
  • Under 18 7.8
  • 18-29 6.8
  • 30-44 5.8
  • 45+ 4.8

In other words, grown-ups don't like the film, and film critics are adults. IMDb's top 100 reviewers score the film 5.1, which is pretty much equivalent to the Rotten Tomatoes score.

But if you're under 18, dude, go for it.



Nudity (1080p clips)

There's no lower-body nudity, but there are plenty of breasts to ogle:

Alexis Knapp topless. She's the chick from Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Large unknown until now, she's listed in three upcoming movies.

Kirby Bliss Blanton see-through.

Various topless revelers.


TV Round-Up

Episode 4 of the second season of Femme Fatales is still in the future, but this is an advance look at Sandra McCoy


Filiz Koc in yet another episode of Tatort (720p)



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.










 

Hanover Street

1979

Lesley-Anne Down in 1080p















This week, the year is 2008.

Today: Part 2



The Ruins


Laura Ramsey is naked in The Ruins (2008)




(here's more of Laura in the DVD extras)



 and Jena Malone is very sexy in a bikini.




I have included a movie of some of the fun bits. (Summary below)





Sex and the City


Sex and the City (2008) is the first movie of the TV series of the same name and has plenty of nakedness:

Aricka Evans,



Cynthia Nixon,



Kim Cattrall,




Michelle Minjung Kim,



Monica Mayhem



and Roxy De Ville.



The other two women, Kristin Davis




and Sarah Jessica Parker,



don't look too bad.










CLIPS

Dagmar Leesch in Unter den Haenden (2012) in 720p



Paula Kalenberg in Was am Ende zahlt (2012) in 720p





Pics/Collages

Tanit Phoenix in a music video



Outtakes of Camille Rowe from a Terry Richardson photoshoot



Some more from the Emily Ratajkowski photoshoot. (She played Tasha on iCarly)




Rita Hayworth in Pal Joey