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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Junior has the night off, so I'm writin' tonight.

Movies:

Goin' South  This film had a lot of potential. Nicholson directed himself, it had a great cast, and a great premise. Unfortunately, it only had about half a script. The first half was a lot of fun. The second half went nowhere. Nicholson hired Danny DeVito and John Belushi, and gave them nothing to do!

  • Mary Steenburgen. No nudity.  (1, 2 )

Summer Rental  is one of those "regular guys versus the country clubbers movies" that were so popular a couple of decades ago. This one has John Candy instead of Rodney Dangerfield, as the regular guy. It isn't a good movie, but it has its moments.

  • Lois Hamilton. She suffered a very bad turn of events in the late 90's. She had some substance abuse problems, suffered some serious injuries in a car accident, then killed herself some months later.

Glass, Necktie is a zero budget B&W film. The script isn't bad, but the acting is so bad and the sets are so cheap that it looks like a student film.

  • Nancye Ferguson was the brightest spot in the film. She has some talent, looks good, and got her top off, which is about all we can ask from any woman. She has a fairly good filmography at IMDb. Someday, I'd like to ask her what she was doing in this turkey. (1, 2, 3, 4)

 

Other crap:

 

Updates:

  • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
  • There is a new encyclopedia volume for Claudia Schiffer.
  • The Ione Skye volume is updated.
  • I meant to tell you yesterday, but forgot, that many of the new Edwige Fenech pictures in her new volume have never been in the Fun House.

 

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Tuna
"S.O.B."

Julie Andrews Shows Her Bubbies (1981), more commonly known as S.O.B. is a Blake Edwards comedy. That alone should tell you that the dialogue will be a vocabulary lesson, and outweigh the plot by a large margin. A Producer has made his first flop, and cost the studio a fortune. He attempts suicide several times in slow motion, but eventually figures out a way to save the film. He will re-cut it as a sex fantasy, and have wife and all American virgin Julie Andrews flash her tits.

The film has an excellent comedy cast, and some funny moments. It is supposed to be a satire on the film industry, but, for me, went on way too long and couldn't stay focused. The good news is breast exposure from Julie Andrews, Rosanna Arquette in a minor role, and Marisa Berenson. IMDB readers say 5.9 of 10. The film was nominated for two Razzies for worst screenplay and worst director. I can't give it more than a C, but it is a high water mark in celebrity nudity, and the new DVD release looks good to very good, although it is bare bones.
 

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Julie Andrews (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Rosanna Arquette (1, 2, 3)
  • Marisa Berenson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • unknown (1, 2)

    "Slackers"

    Slackers (2002) is an extraordinarily bad comedy about three friends who scam their way through college. When another student catches them cheating on an exam, his price for silence is that they help him get the girl of his dreams, Laura Prepon. Only trouble is that he is a monumental jerk, and one of the three friends clicks with her. I found very little to laugh at, was put off by the score, and could have done without some of the trick photography.

    The transfer is pristine, well saturated, bright, and not a hint of noise anywhere. The real surprise in this film was the lengthy breast exposure from a 71 year old Mamie Van Doren. You have to love an industry that will give a nude role to a 50s bombshell in 2002. Her credits include 44 films, beginning in 1951. Her best efforts are luke warm, but she was cast more for her appearance than her acting ability. Scoop, help me here. Is 71 the oldest for breast exposure so far? I honestly can't recommend this film at all. IMDB readers have it at 4.3 of 10, and it only grossed $4.81m (half of that the first weekend) against an $11m budget. Critics weren't even polite. As an example, Berardinelli called it bat guano in awarding 1 1/2 stars. I will say D+. It is a technically sound comedy bomb.
     

  • Thumbnails

  • Mamie Van Doren (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10)

    Scoop's note: Yes, as far as I know, that is the oldest for breasts. At least, I can't remember an older well-known woman showing her breasts. Jessica Tandy was older, but showed her butt only.

  • ICMS
    Hi Scoopy !
     
    I guess these are the Claudia Schiffer pics you're talking about at the end of today's page. I bought the mag just 2 hours ago and here they are already. I hope you can use them. The text is indeed not very nice for her. It talks about chicken breasts and being able to count her ribs...
     
    Yours quickly,
     
    ICMS

    • Claudia Schiffer (1, 2, 3)

    Scoop's note: see the new Schiffer volume in the Encyclopedia to compare to her more youthful 1993 paparazzi pics.

    L'Helvete

    • Claire Keim, looking spectacular in "Barracuda"
    • Rona Hartner in Gadjo Dilo (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Valentina Cervi in Artemesia (1, 2, 3)
    • Ming Na Wen in One Night Stand

    Hankster
    Scoop, Today we feature bodacious Lana Clarkson in a sword fight scene from 1984's "Deathstalker". Barbie Benton is with her in a couple of them. 
     

    Pat Reeder. The Comedy Wire
    Pat's words in yellow. News items in white.

    Eminem Corner


    VH1 has signed Sharon Osbourne to host the concert in honor of Queen Elizabeth's Golden Jubilee...The show will be called "Hail To The Fuckin' Queen!"
     


    Too Much Latitude In The Law - Authorities in Scottsdale, Arizona, shut down an Internet company that was selling bogus penile enlargement pills under the name "Longitude."  They charged up to $59.99 a month for pills that cost $2.50 a bottle to make.  They apparently hooked a lot of suckers: police seized $20 million in bank accounts, $3 million cash, a load of jewelry, and various cars, including a Rolls, a Ferrari, a Bentley and a Lamborghini.

    • These guys must be overcompensating for having very small penises.
    • Their customers need a pill to make their brains bigger.
    • $2.50?  The cost of sugar must be going up.

    Scoop's comment - I don't know how big their penises are, but they have some massive cojones.