Wednesday

 

Other Crap:

Celebrities Then And Now
  • Some of them can't even be recognized. Look at Elizabeth Hurley, for example.

Check out Bryce Dallas Howard - on the set of Spider-Man 3

Charlie Sheen, having had sex witrh a mere 5000 women, is only #2 on the 'Living Sex Legends' list

Washington State Makes It a Felony to Play Poker Online

Dutch pedophiles are launching a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for sexual relations to 12 from 16 and the legalization of child pornography and sex with animals, sparking widespread outrage.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Muslim Demonstration): "Photographs show placard-bearing Muslim protesters in London"

This week in Unnecessary Censorship: May 26th, 2006

Montenegrons Vote to Become 7 Million Separate Nations

The teaser/trailer for Snakes On A Plane

"his 6 year-old son turned up at school with a Scooby-Doo backpack filled with his daddy's marijuana stash"

If I had a hammer. What would the God of Thunder do if he needed a replacement hammer?

How to build the best paper airplane in the world

"the 'questionable' content in 'Clerks II' goes beyond anything we've ever presented in a film before. Don't know what happened in the MPAA screening that morning, and don't need to know. All I do know is that they handed us an R, without asking for a single cut."

A Johnny Bravo live action movie will star The Rock

"Baseball's top 10 'records' ... without the home runs"

The five most overpaid and underpaid athletes in MLB.

  • Brad Hawpe is hitting .322 with 11 dingers. He's making $335,000
  • Nick Swisher makes the same salary, and is hitting .303 with 15 dingers

Volcano's lake suddenly turns from blue to red

"Christina Aguilera, who made her mark by completely flaunting her sexuality, has been talked out of posing topless by her Quaker husband"

Ain't It Cool News reports on Goya's Ghosts.

  • "Now, 'The Question' isn't some bullshit interrogation involving comfy chairs and being poked with soft cushions. This is some major torture. Her hands are tied behind her back and then she is lifted off the ground... BY HER WRISTS! If you think that this sounds painful, well, you should see it. One more thing about this scene... NATALIE PORTMAN'S NAKED! (Well, at least the unfinished special effect of Natalie is.) It's not necessarily the ideal place to see her nude, but, you take what you can get, right guys? "

'Sopranos' making salary offers the cast can't refuse

MARIE OSMOND SHOCKED BY DAUGHTERS INTERNET SEX TALK

  • Marie Osmond reacts to her daughters raunchy sex talk on their Myspace sites. What was more shocking...the 18 year old wants sex "all of the time" or that the 16 year old daughter wants to have sex with David Bowie!?!

"Jimmy Kimmel gets bit by a snake on his live tv show"

'Lost' in Thought - Season two finale answers a couple questions, raises more

  • Cheerleader Guy sent this one in, and he added, "This article sums up most of my frustrations with 'Lost.' I love the idea for the show, but I feel that success is starting to kill it. The more popular it gets, the more ABC will try to stretch it out. A good joke can be told in two or three lines, but the punchline gets lost (no pun intended) with more detail added. Add all of the web sites books, magazines, video games, etc. that you're expected to buy if you want more clues to the show ... forget it."

$196 Million Worldwide for X3, But Still No X4 Plans?

A great collection: Historical Sounds in MP3 Format

Lock in your guess - real or spoof? Twenty-five people were injured in an annual cheese-rolling competition, where daredevils chase giant cheeses down a steep slope in western England

AL GORE CONDEMNS ** CARS ** FOR PROMOTING GLOBAL WARMING

  • "Al Gore has condemned the new Disney/Pixar film, Cars, for promoting indiscriminate automobile use that contributes to global warming and the destruction of our planet."

JENNIFER ANISTON REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE HER OWN EXISTENCE ... "Whether or not I actually exist is my own business"

EXCLUSIVE: VINCE VAUGHN ON HOW HE GAINED 50 LBS FOR THE BREAK-UP

Here is the latest trailer for Superman Returns

"CHINA CALLS U.S. LOANS; DEMANDS CALIFORNIA AS REPAYMENT" ... Golden State to Become China's East Coast

Lock in your guess - real or spoof? Paris Hilton plans reggae album

"Wite-Out Voted Most Racist Office Supply"

Cheney slays 12 in 21-gun salute

  • "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally gunned down a dozen spectators while performing a Memorial Day 21-gun salute at an undisclosed location."

Ancient Craters on Saturn's Rhea - a face essentially unchanged for a billion years

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture (1973)

Secret Photo Album (2002) is a Hong Kong "category three" soft core that probably was intended as a comedy, although it has a dark ending. A chauffeur is in love with his boss's daughter, and she returns his feelings, but is well above his station. Our enterprising lad hits on a solution. He finds a call girl that looks like a famous movie star (Shirley Yeung) and sets her up with his boss. This works so well that the boss asks for a visiting Japanese actress (Samantha Chu). The chauffeur delivers yet again. Then he hits on the idea of taking pictures to use if anything backfires. He expands his business and procures women for a yacht orgy. Then a second brainstorm occurs, and he starts blackmailing all of the wealthy men he has compromising photos of. He finally informs his boss that he is rich enough to quit the job and marry his daughter. The boss has other ideas.

The flubtitles are possibly the highlight of this film:

Gets you rockin' down the road

Self-rape is unusual enough for him to comment.

Beats walking around without one.

Every woman should.

 

IMDb has not heard of this, and my distributor for these gems now lists it as out of print. It is no wonder it was short-lived, even in the Hong Kong category three market, which is not known for the highest of standards. The acting is not especially good, the plot is predictable, and most of the laughs are unintentional. Worse still by category three standards, there is nowhere near enough nudity, and what little there is looks a VHS tape transferred to DVD.

This is a D.

Although several women have sex in this film, it is with their clothes on. Only Samantha Chu does full frontal and rear nudity in two sex scenes and a shower scene.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flauti's special Spanish movie wrap-up for May 2006


*"Camaron" (2005)

- Mercè Llorens x13c


- Verónica Sánchez x1
 


 


* "El Lobo" (2004)


- Mélanie Doutey x13c (nudity)



 


* "La vida de nadie" aka Nobody's Life (2002)


- Marta Etura x17c (nudity)


 

- Adriana Ozores x4c


 

* "León y Olvido" (2004)


- Marta Larralde x11c (nudity)


 



* "Obaba" (2005)


- Bárbara Lennie x15c (nudity)


 



* "Jóvenes" (2005) part1


- Judit Uriach x15 (nudity)


- Natasha Yarovenko x9c


- Aina Clotet x34c (nudity)


- Ariadna Cabrol x8c (nudity)


 


* "Los 2 lados de la cama" (2005)


- Verónica Sánchez x17c


- Lucía Jiménez x20c


 

- Pilar Castro x15c


- Maria Esteve x5c



 

 

 

 

 


Wrapping up "Spiderbabe" ...

Hot Kelli Summers in a love scene.

Kelly is joined by Julian Wells for a little lesbo action, with a little brief bush from Julian.


David Letterman had his share of great legs recently with ...

Jennifer Aniston

and Rebecca Romijn

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Cigarette Burns

Another very good (and gory, and weird) episode from Showtime's Masters of Horror series, John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns (2005) deals with the unnatural and supernatural.

A movie programmer is hired by a rich and eccentric collector to find a print of a film entitled Le Fin Absolue Du Monde (The Absolute End of the World).

It has been screened only once, and the film had the unfortunate side effect of turning the viewers into cannibalistic homicidal maniacs. After the only screening, the one and only print disappeared.

During the search, the programmer crosses paths with people who themselves are not exactly stable citizens, but in the end, he locates the print for his employer, who screens the film with not totally unexpected results.

It's not for the weak of stomach, but this is a very cool horror tale.

Zara Taylor

 

 

 

 

Here's the short film clip of the Julia Stiles "nude" scene in A Little Trip to Heaven

 

According to Wikipedia, this pic of Cheryl Hines was taken by the paparazzi while she was on St. Martin's beach on April 25, 2006.

Linnea Quigley's first nude appearance, in a rarely-seen "Auditions." She conveniently omits to mention this film in her autobiography as well as in her commentary for "Don't Go Near the Park." I don't blame her. Here are three zipped .wmv clips (1, 2, 3) . The captures are below:

Victoria Silvstedt falls from her blouse in a TV appearance.

 

Pat's comments in yellow...


Barry Bonds' 715th home run hit may have an asterisk by it, but so will the fan who caught it.  Andrew Morbitzer's desire for beer was greater than his interest in the game, so he was standing in a concession line and didn't even know Bonds had hit the homer that surpassed Babe Ruth.  The ball got stuck on a center field roof for a few moments, then came loose, rolled off and plopped into Morbitzer's hand.  He was hustled out by security and said he hasn't decided yet what to do with the  ball.

*  Probably trade it for beer.



*  Hebrew University in Jerusalem discovered that the amount of sexual desire someone feels may depend on their genes

... Like if there's a penis in there,  they're going to feel a lot more




Dr. Calvin Trent, head of Detroit's Bureau of Substance Abuse, told the Free Press, "This is not the time to be going to the streets and buying a recreational bag of drugs"

...The best time was Monday; they were having a big Memorial Day sale.