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Other Crap:
Celebrities Then And Now
- Some of them can't even be recognized.
Look at Elizabeth Hurley, for example.
Check out Bryce Dallas Howard - on the set of
Spider-Man 3
Charlie Sheen, having had sex witrh a mere
5000 women, is only #2 on the 'Living Sex
Legends' list
Washington State Makes It a Felony to Play
Poker Online
Dutch pedophiles are launching a political
party to push for a cut in the legal age
for sexual relations to 12 from 16 and the
legalization of child pornography and sex with
animals, sparking widespread outrage.
Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery
(Muslim Demonstration): "Photographs show
placard-bearing Muslim protesters in London"
This week in Unnecessary Censorship: May 26th,
2006
Montenegrons Vote to Become 7 Million Separate
Nations
The teaser/trailer for Snakes On A Plane
"his 6 year-old son turned up at school with a
Scooby-Doo backpack filled with his daddy's
marijuana stash"
If I had a hammer. What would the God of
Thunder do if he needed a replacement hammer?
How to build the best paper airplane in the
world
"the 'questionable' content in 'Clerks II'
goes beyond anything we've ever presented in a
film before. Don't know what happened in the
MPAA screening that morning, and don't need to
know. All I do know is that they handed us an
R, without asking for a single cut."
A Johnny Bravo live action movie will star The
Rock
"Baseball's top 10 'records' ... without the
home runs"
The five most overpaid and underpaid athletes
in MLB.
- Brad Hawpe is hitting .322 with 11
dingers. He's making $335,000
- Nick Swisher makes the same salary, and
is hitting .303 with 15 dingers
Volcano's lake suddenly turns from blue to red
"Christina Aguilera, who made her mark by
completely flaunting her sexuality, has been
talked out of posing topless by her Quaker
husband"
Ain't It Cool News reports on Goya's Ghosts.
- "Now, 'The Question' isn't some bullshit
interrogation involving comfy chairs and
being poked with soft cushions. This is some
major torture. Her hands are tied behind her
back and then she is lifted off the
ground... BY HER WRISTS! If you think that
this sounds painful, well, you should see
it. One more thing about this scene...
NATALIE PORTMAN'S NAKED! (Well, at least the
unfinished special effect of Natalie is.)
It's not necessarily the ideal place to see
her nude, but, you take what you can get,
right guys? "
'Sopranos' making salary offers the cast can't
refuse
MARIE OSMOND SHOCKED BY DAUGHTERS INTERNET SEX
TALK
- Marie Osmond reacts to her daughters
raunchy sex talk on their Myspace sites.
What was more shocking...the 18 year old
wants sex "all of the time" or that the 16
year old daughter wants to have sex with
David Bowie!?!
"Jimmy Kimmel gets bit by a snake on his live
tv show"
'Lost' in Thought - Season two finale answers
a couple questions, raises more
- Cheerleader Guy sent this one in, and he
added, "This article sums up most of my
frustrations with 'Lost.' I love the idea
for the show, but I feel that success is
starting to kill it. The more popular it
gets, the more ABC will try to stretch it
out. A good joke can be told in two or three
lines, but the punchline gets lost (no pun
intended) with more detail added. Add all of
the web sites books, magazines, video games,
etc. that you're expected to buy if you want
more clues to the show ... forget it."
$196 Million Worldwide for X3, But Still No X4
Plans?
A great collection:
Historical Sounds in MP3 Format
Lock in your guess - real or spoof?
Twenty-five people were injured in an annual
cheese-rolling competition, where daredevils
chase giant cheeses down a steep slope in
western England
AL GORE CONDEMNS ** CARS ** FOR PROMOTING
GLOBAL WARMING
- "Al Gore has condemned the new Disney/Pixar
film, Cars, for promoting indiscriminate
automobile use that contributes to global
warming and the destruction of our planet."
JENNIFER ANISTON REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE HER
OWN EXISTENCE ... "Whether or not I
actually exist is my own business"
EXCLUSIVE: VINCE VAUGHN ON HOW HE GAINED 50
LBS FOR THE BREAK-UP
Here is the latest trailer for Superman
Returns
"CHINA CALLS U.S. LOANS; DEMANDS CALIFORNIA AS
REPAYMENT" ... Golden State to Become
China's East Coast
Lock in your guess - real or spoof?
Paris Hilton plans reggae album
"Wite-Out Voted Most Racist Office Supply"
Cheney slays 12 in 21-gun salute
- "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally
gunned down a dozen spectators while
performing a Memorial Day 21-gun salute at
an undisclosed location."
Ancient Craters on Saturn's Rhea - a face
essentially unchanged for a billion years
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture (1973)
Secret Photo Album (2002) is a Hong Kong "category three" soft core that
probably was intended as a comedy, although it has a dark ending. A
chauffeur is in love with his boss's daughter, and she returns his feelings,
but is well above his station. Our enterprising lad hits on a solution. He
finds a call girl that looks like a famous movie star (Shirley Yeung) and
sets her up with his boss. This works so well that the boss asks for a
visiting Japanese actress (Samantha Chu). The chauffeur delivers yet again.
Then he hits on the idea of taking pictures to use if anything backfires. He
expands his business and procures women for a yacht orgy. Then a second
brainstorm occurs, and he starts blackmailing all of the wealthy men he has
compromising photos of. He finally informs his boss that he is rich enough
to quit the job and marry his daughter. The boss has other ideas.
The flubtitles are possibly the highlight of this film:
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Gets you rockin' down the road |
Self-rape is unusual enough for him to comment. |
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Beats walking around without one. |
Every woman should. |
IMDb has not heard of this, and my distributor for these gems now lists it
as out of print. It is no wonder it was short-lived, even in the Hong Kong
category three market, which is not known for the highest of standards. The
acting is not especially good, the plot is predictable, and most of the laughs
are unintentional. Worse still by category three standards, there is nowhere
near enough nudity, and what little there is looks a VHS tape transferred to
DVD.
This is a D.
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Dann reports on Cigarette Burns Another
very good (and gory, and weird) episode from Showtime's Masters of
Horror series, John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns (2005) deals
with the unnatural and supernatural.
A movie programmer is hired by a rich and
eccentric collector to find a print of a film entitled Le Fin Absolue Du
Monde (The Absolute End of the World).
It has been screened only once, and the
film had the unfortunate side effect of turning the viewers into
cannibalistic homicidal maniacs. After the only screening, the one and
only print disappeared.
During the search, the programmer crosses
paths with people who themselves are not exactly stable citizens, but in
the end, he locates the print for his employer, who screens the film with
not totally unexpected results.
It's not for the weak of stomach, but this
is a very cool horror tale.
Zara Taylor |
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Barry Bonds' 715th home
run hit may have an asterisk by it, but so will the fan who caught it. Andrew
Morbitzer's desire for beer was greater than his interest in the game, so he
was standing in a concession line and didn't even know Bonds had hit the homer
that surpassed Babe Ruth. The ball got stuck on a center field roof for a few
moments, then came loose, rolled off and plopped into Morbitzer's hand. He
was hustled out by security and said he hasn't decided yet what to do with the
ball.
* Probably trade it for beer.
* Hebrew University in Jerusalem discovered that the amount of sexual desire
someone feels may depend on their genes
... Like if there's a penis in there,
they're going to feel a lot more
Dr. Calvin Trent, head of Detroit's Bureau of Substance
Abuse, told the Free Press, "This is not the time to be going to the streets and
buying a recreational bag of drugs"
...The best time was Monday; they were
having a big Memorial Day sale. |
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