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Gitano (2000), or Gypsy is a film with several very strong points, hopelessly marred by a weak plot. Joaquín Cortés, a Gypsy, returns to Granada after two years in prison. We learn very little about why he was there, other than the fact that he was in a band with his wife and two friends, and on the verge of making it big, when one of the friends was killed, his wife ran off with a record producer, and he was left to take the rap. His first order of business is to avenge the death. Then, he tries to find out exactly what happened, and get his wife back. The police, who don't like gypsies anyway, harass him at every turn. There is no dark mystery that he sleuths cleverly to unravel, just a matter of his bothering those whom he thinks are guilty until the truth comes out.

On the plus side, the film is dripping with atmosphere largely due to the DP, Hans Burman, and a wonderful flamenco score. We also have three very hot sex scenes with extended nudity in two of them. The first is a relatively unknown Spanish actress, Cristina Peña, who plays a prostitute. She shows breasts and buns, and possibly a hint of bush. The second is by Laeticia Casta as his wife, who shows all three B's. Lastly, Marta Belaustegui as his sister-in-law has good see-through on stage singing. IMDB readers say 4.1 of 10. Personally, I would order the sound track and skip the film now that you have the images. C-.

  • Thumbnails
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  • Cristina Pena (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Laetitia Casta (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Marta Belaustrequi (1, 2)


    Lisboa (1999), or Lisban, is a work-man like thriller. Traveling salesman Sergi López is on his way back to Portugal, when he picks up a middle-aged woman hitchhiker, Carmen Maura. She desperately wants him to take her to Lisban, but won't say much as to why. He discovers a gun and some jewels in her handbag. When she faints at a rest stop, he checks an address book in her purse, and calls her family. As the story unfolds, we learn about an ultra-creep of a husband, a father that goes along and the murder of her husband's business associate and his family. We further learn that both she and her daughter have slept with the business associate.

    The question is, who will survive, and will the bad guys get turned in. The daughter, Laia Marull (Fugitives), shows breasts twice, and most of her buns in a thong. Maura was nominated for a Goya for her performance. Indeed, her performance was the best in the film. I watched this on a US release with forced sub-titles, and a very faded transfer. IMDB readers say 6.5 of 10, and there are no reviews that I could find on the net. As near as I can tell, the film played the International festival circuit, and was a direct to vid in the US. It is a decent genre film, and no more. A better transfer would have helped. C-.

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  • Laia Marull (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Girls in Prison  This started out as a marvelous highly-stylized genre parody of WIP films. That lasted about ten minites, at which time it became a sappy WIP film.

    The Scarlet Letter is a movie that has the same name as Hawthorne's novel. This is pretty much of a coincidence. They made it a tender, sexy romance, changed Dimmsdale into a noble romantic, and had everyone live happily ever after.


    Other crap:



    There is a new encyclopedia volume for Edwige Fenech, who can best be described as the Julie Strain of 1970's Euro-softcore. We have vidcaps of her from 21 separate movies, and that barely scratches the surface of her career!


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Since Tuna is now doing an excellent coverage of Spanish movies and revealing all these Spanish actresses in the process, let me follow suit for once. Believe it or not but I had this film lying on the shelf for several months but never got around to reviewing it. Something else always seemed to come in the way but now the time is more than appropriate I think.

    The film I'm talking about is "La Voz de su Amo" from 2001. The title would translate as "His master's voice" and that is to some degree what this film is about. The story is set in 1980 in the Basque Country in Spain. It deals with a Portuguese businessman (Joaquim de Almeida), his right hand man Charli (Eduard Fernández) and the businessman's daughter Marta (Silvia Abascal). When I say businessman and Basque Country you've probably already guessed that this is not going to be a romantic epic à la Titanic. Far from. We are confronted with suspicion and violence in all kinds of forms but also with love and friendship. Or aren't we ? And will Charlie continue to follow his master's voice ? I really can't tell much more about the plot without spoiling the movie than to say that really no-one is who he seems to be.

    The film is rated way too low in the IMDB at 5.9 with only 8 votes however. Those voters probably didn't notice the beautifully composed images and excellently lit scenes. They also must have been oblivious to the fact that this films shows some magnificent pictures of the Basque countryside and the beautiful city of Bilbao. The story also makes sense although the script could have been a bit more specific about the "respected" businessman's activities. It would have given a better understanding of his actions. The actors all put in a great performance, especially Joaquim de Almeida and the young, fresh and uninhibited Silvia Abascal. The DVD transfer is simply excellent and the Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack is very effective, especially when suddenly a car bomb goes off. This film is a very good effort from director Emilio Martínez Lázaro. My rating would be 7.0 or C+.

    As far as nudity is concerned we have Silvia Abascal showing all 3 B's and Ana Otero as a heroin addict shows her breasts in bed in a hotel.

    In case someone asks himself why I included a frame of a guy in a staircase of a hotel in one collage, here is the answer. The guy in the picture is standing at exact the same location as I was standing 15 years ago when I returned by car from Portugal to Belgium. The hotel is Hotel Miramar in Deba near Bilbao and it still looks as spartan and obsolete as back in 1987. The actor at the reception desk was as cool and reserved as the real guy. I still wonder if that man remembered the moment when he laughed or smiled for the last time.

    • Silvia Abascal (1, 2, 3)
    • Ana Otero (1, 2)

    While surfing the internet I came across some paparazzi and other pictures of Spanish actress Silke whose work Tuna appreciated a lot a couple of days ago. I don't know their origin (probably Interviù for the seaside pics) but I'm sending them along anyway. You decide what to do with them. It's not my habit to send in material that I didn't create myself but maybe it can be of some use.


    A little Hankster light today.

    First up is Kim Cattrall in a topless scene from "Sex and the City".

    • Kim Cattrall (1, 2)

    Then we have Sofia Moran and Roberta Collins both topless in "Women in Cages". Maybe Roberta's scenes aren't really "lite" as she is showing the marks from the scene in the torture dungeon a couple of days ago.

    Iced T
    From the movie..."Two Can Play That Game".

    If you like movies about manipulative women who enjoy toying with the emotions of men, then this stinker is for you :)

    No nudity, but there is some nice cleavage, and if I may use word from the streets, I believe both of these ladies are what you would call "bootylicious".

    • Gabrielle Union (1, 2, 3)
    • Vivica A. Fox (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Scoop, Another installment of "Hankster Lite" today. Here is Susan Pari topless in "Exposure" as Ron Silver photographs her. She only has one other credit in IMDB, but I think she darn sexy.
    • Susun Pari (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Tara Moss
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Best-selling author, international supermodel, popular TV personality...the list goes on. This Canadian now living down under is a whole lot more than just a gorgeous woman posing topless. Great scans from Black And White Magazine, by Fuzz.

    Courtney Love Having a little trouble keeping the twins restrained.

    Kelly Lynch Baring her nearly 40-year old (and still fantastic) bum in scenes from "Homegrown" (1998). This movie is supposed to be a comedy about a trio of not-so-bright guys harvesting and trying to sell a huge crop of marijuna. But I thought it severely violated the third rule as defined by the Scoopian unities, "a comedy by definition is supposed to be funny". This wasn't. If you want to see a funny movie about the weed culture that doesn't star Cheech and Chong, try "Half Baked", "How High", or Jack Black's 10 minutes of screen time in "Bongwater" (just be sure to not watch all of that movie).

    Celeb News
    Has anyone seen these or have any scans?


    Supermodel CLAUDIA SCHIFFER has issued legal warnings to European magazines which have bought pictures of her swimming topless.

    The Teutonic temptress, who hid from the cameras under a blanket on her wedding day last Saturday (25MAY02) to protect a lucrative deal with a glossy magazine, has reacted angrily to the pictures taken of her in a swimming pool at the SANDY LANE HOTEL in Barbados.

    Most of the magazines have heeded the warning, but not so the Milan-based rag NOVELLA 2000, which not only put the half-naked model on its front cover but also remarked that her prime assets were disappointing in comparison to their former glory.