"Endless Night"

Endless Night (1971) is based on an Agatha Christie story, and was hyped as a great mystery. They boasted that only 4 in 100 would figure it out, and admonished everyone who saw it not to reveal the ending to their friends. I won't even attempt to explain why some people seems to have liked this film. I read all available reviews and comments, and still have no idea what they saw in it. Basically, a shiftless chauffeur wants to build his dream home on a piece of land he has found, ad has even become friends with a famous architect who wants to build it. Unfortunately he can barely afford the film to take pictures of the land. Then he meets, weds and beds Hayley Mills, the "6th richest woman in the world." The very Bondlike house gets built, complete with remote control moving floors and walls. The only fly in the ointment is Mills' best friend Greta, played by Britt Ekland.

I will honor the film makers wishes and not reveal the ending. I will give you one important tip if you decide to become one of the 4 percent that figures it out. Play close attention to the people we don't quite see Hywel Bennett meet. The entire film is boring intentional misdirection to set up the shocking conclusion, which, while rather surprising to most people, just doesn't fit and is not very entertaining.

Ekland shows breasts and buns. IMDb readers have this at 5.8 of 10. I have no idea at all where the title came from, as it doesn't seem to relate to the plot. The house is kind of nifty, and Moog Synth music adds to the time capsule value of the 60s. This is clearly a C-, enjoyable enough for some genre fans.

  • Thumbnails

  • Britt Ekland (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Mascara (1999):

    Atrociously bad movie that Tuna and I reviewed some time back. Nice nudity, however, from Ione Skye, the beautiful daughter of that famous mellow-yellow hippy-dippy, Donovan! So here are a couple of zipped .wmv files.

    • Skye (1, 2)


    Basic Instinct (1992):

    Sharon Stone got all the publicity when Basic Instinct came out, and the great scene between Michael Douglas and Jeanne Tripplehorn got lost in the shuffle. It never draws any support in any of our polls, but I'd have to say it is one of the 25 hottest sex scenes in the history of mainstream cinema. I love the expression on Tripplehorn's face in the last frame. Either she's a terrific actress, or Douglas gave her a very big surprise.


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    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls are the results of our recent "Most Overrated Movie" poll

    .Email Scoopy Jr. if suggestions for future polls.

    Here are the results of our previous polls:
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
    Best Lesbian Love Scenes

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today is an all "Hankster Light" day.

    We did the "Babe in Bondage" from "Darkwolf" a few days ago, so today we have not one, but two topless babes from the same movie.

    So enjoy the sights of Katie Lohmann working her way around a topless bar, and Sasha Williams (nice set) posing for a photographer.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "The Last Don" parts I and II (1997-1998)
    Two-part miniseries based on the novel by The Godfather author Mario Puzo. Both parts available separately on DVD but it's part II which has the real nudity.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Interstate 60: Episodes of The Road"
    No nudity in Interstate 60: Episodes of The Road but former 'Pink Ranger' Amy Jo Johnson shows a lovely pair of legs as well as lifting her top.

    "Tom Horn"
    Linda Evans has not done much nudity on screen and some brief see-through nipple exposure through her wet top in Tom Horn is all I've seen.

    Some pokies by one of the sexiest women on screen when we have Julianne Moore in Safe.

    • Julianne Moore (1, 2)

    "King Ralph"
    John Goodman is King Ralph, a mediocre movie in which he is named king of England. No visible nudity but a bit of thong and pastie action by stripper called Adele Lakeland and lots of cleavage by Camille Coduri.

    "The Lone Ranger"
    A bit of bum crack by Anita Brown in The Lone Ranger.

    "The In-laws"
    Emmy Laybourne flashes her knickers in The In-laws and there are some minor pokies by Lindsay Sloane when she is deluged.

    "The Flamingo Kid"
    No nudity in The Flamingo Kid, just sexy images of Janet Jones and Jessica Walter.

    • Janet Jones (1, 2)
    • Jessica Walter (best known as Lucille Bluth from the FOX series ""Arrested Development").

    "The House on Carroll Street"
    Some breast exposure by Kelly McGillis in The House on Carroll Street.

    • Kelly McGillis (1, 2)

    "View from the Top"
    It's all upskirts and cleavage in View from the Top by Kelly Preston, Christina Applegate and Gwyneth Paltrow.

    • Kelly Preston (1, 2)
    • Christina Applegate (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Gwyneth Paltrow (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Den of Lions"
    Some nice breast exposure by Zita Görög in Den of Lions, with some additional cleavage by Tania Emery.

    • Zita Görög (1, 2,
    • Tania Emery (1, 2)

    "Alex and Emma"
    It's pokies and an upskirt by Sophie Marceau in Alex and Emma.

    • Sophie Marceau (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Crash Dive"
    Lightweight but fun 1997 actioner is set on a nuclear submarine on patrol. They come across the victims of a boating disaster and rescue them. Unfortunately, the victims are not really victims, but terrorists intent on hijacking the sub, and they don't mind killing people in the process.

    Michael Dudikoff plays the sub's designer, who is asked by the navy to help find and rescue the boat and it's crew.

    Lots of action, some predictable lameness, and a nude scene by Elena DeBurdo, who plays one of the rescued. Her job is to seduce a sailor so that the bad guys can take over the boat. She does her job.

    Scarlett Johansson DeadLamb 'caps of the "Lost in Translation" star showing partial side nudity as her hand barely covers her breast in a scene from "A Love Song for Bobby Long". This July you can catch her on the big screen in the Michale Bay movie "The Island", also starring Ewan McGregor, Steve Buscemi, Sean Bean, Djimon Hounsou and Michael Clarke Duncan.

    Jamie Lee Curtis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Señor Skin takes us back to 80's for a visit with Curtis in her topless prime. Scenes from 1984's "Love Letters".

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