Breezy (1973) stars Oscar winner William Holden and a very young Kay Lenz in her second film and first staring role. It was Directed by Clint Eastwood. Not only that, but Clint has said in interviews that this is his personal favorite of all the films he has made. So why has hardly anyone heard about it? Eastwood blames an R rating, which he didn't think was justified. By 1973 standards, he might well be right, but it has enough nudity and simulated sex to rate an R today, easily.

It is a May - December romance story. Holden is a reasonably well off real estate agent, divorced, and not especially entertained with the women he dates in his age group and social class. Lenz (Edith Alice Breezerman, or Breezy) is a young hippy girl. After her parents died, she stayed with an Aunt and Uncle in Intercourse, PA long enough to graduate High School, then grabbed her guitar and came to LA. Breezy is an apt name for her, as she is happy go lucky, tends to trust easily, but has a wisdom beyond her years. When she is picked up by a real creep hitchhiking, she jumps out of the car, but finds herself in the hills around LA with no traffic around. She happens on Holden's house as he is leaving for work, and charms her way into a ride from him into town. The ride doesn't go well, as she insists they stop for an injured dog. When he is unsympathetic to the dog, she runs off.

Later that night, she shows up at his house to get the guitar she left in his car. She decides pretty quickly that he is a good person who is living under a black cloud, and wants a relationship with him. She manages to get him in bed, but getting him to accept a relationship with someone so much his junior is more of a challenge. Lenz shows breasts and buns in several scenes.

IMDb readers have this at 5.9 of 10. This is my era, and my stomping grounds, and I knew this couple. Sure, she wasn't from Intercourse, PA, and he was a Physics Professor, not a real estate agent, but the age difference was the same, and it was a mutually satisfying relationship. She was a lovely hippy chick and free spirit, and he was a rather prominent professor. In other words, the film was very credible. Eastwood also got the dialogue, attitudes and supporting characters right. In one of the few reviews listed at IMDb, they criticize the fact that Holden sometimes uses hippy jargon, and that it is really jarring coming from someone that age. That is also 100% percent authentic. People over thirty mimicked the hippy jargon, sometimes even using it correctly, but it was always jarring. I especially liked the minor character of a stoner chick who was Breezy's best friend. She, again, was somebody I knew. I first saw an edited version of this film on television, and later picked up a Betamax of it, but the tape also seemed to have some awkward cuts where nudity belonged. Even with the censorship job, I loved the film. It was wonderful to finally have a great transfer of the unedited version on DVD. If you hate romantic comedies, this one won't win you over, but, otherwise, it is a very good one, and is hence a C+. IT is also worth seeing for anyone trying to understand what the 60s were really like.

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  • Kay Lenz (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)


    Tai-Pan (1986) is based on a novel by the same name by James Clavell (Shogun, To Sir with Love, The Great Escape). This time, the setting is Hong Kong, as it is forming. The story centers around the Tai-Pan, or head of the European merchants trying to establish and get rich from the opium trade. The film, though set in an exotic time and place, is really about a family feud between the Tai-Pan and a competing family. The Tai-Pan has "gone native," and is hence liked by the Chinese merchants. The problem for all Europeans was the emperor of China, who was not keen on contact with the "barbarians," and was dead set against the opium trade. The Tai-Pan (played by Bryan Brown) even had a Chinese woman (Joan Chen) who was officially his slave, but was really his wife while in China.

    The opposition was the Brock family, consisting of a rather religious father, and a brutal asshole of a son.The Tai-Pan had great Jos (luck), and managed to survive all attacks. I don't want to reveal too many plot details, as the plot is thin enough. The sets, location and cinematography are nothing short of spectacular. Joan Chen shows breasts through transparent gowns in several scenes. Denise Kellogg (Heffer of the month, April 1976) shows breasts and a little bush as a model. Jocelyne Lew, as a hooker being beaten by the asshole younger Brock, show buns and the side of a breast. Katy Dehean has minor breast see-through action. Three unknown hookers show breasts.

    IMDb readers have this at 4.3 of 10. While it was intermittently engrossing, there was not really enough story to carry the entire running time. Also, the characterization of the Chinese is very dated and inaccurate. Joan Chen must cringe every time she thinks of the dialogue she had. What it all boils down to is great eye candy with a little violence, and an erotic (if inaccurate) oriental flavor. This is a C-. I don't regret the time spent watching it, but I am not likely to revisit it.

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  • Denise Kellogg (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Joan Chen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Joycelyne Lew (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Katy Behean (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Eurotrip (2004)

    Comments on the movie here. Bottom line: a movie much-despised by the critics, that I found to be a small masterpiece of comedy writing (it was written by the Seinfeld writing team). It is cynical, disrespectful, offensive, sophomoric, and filled with bare breasts - all the things that make life worthwhile.

    The DVD is pretty good. I watched every minute of it, but didn't listen to the commentary - the main features are (1) deleted scenes, (2) alternate ending,  (3) commentary, (4) separate menu for the nude scenes only - !!!, (5) there is no feature #5,  (6) "making of" the nude beach scene - sorry, it's the MALE nude beach scene, with more sausages, (7) gag reel

    • Molly Schade (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Jessica Bohrs. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) I had never heard of Jessica, but apparently she is approximately the German version of Britney - a successful pop singer who'd like to expand into films. IMDb calls her "lead singer of Germany's techno-pop act Novaspace, performers of several national top ten hits"
    • Tereza Brettschweiderova and Kristyna Simova for "Happy Juice" (Hapi Djus)
    • Edita Deveroux and Petra Tomankova on the nude beach (1, 2)
    • other beach chicks (1, 2, 3)
    • Vandersexx chicks in Amsterdam (1, 2, 3, 4)


    Dream Lover (1994)

    Because this is a fairly interesting thriller, I have to limit my spoilers. Unfortunately, because the plot is dragged out so long and unraveled so slowly, I have to partially spoil some of the developments which occur about a third of the way into the film. The last several twists, however, remain unspoiled.

    The idea behind the film is interesting, if improbable. You probably think that most of the femme fatale schemes shown in the movies are plots nobody could really fall for. After all, who puts all that much trust in somebody they hardly know? And how many guys would commit a murder for a woman, no matter how sexy? You could never find yourself in the same predicament as Ned Racine, right?

    But suppose for a minute that a woman pulled you in like the mark in this film. She spots you, learns about you, carefully schemes to meet you "accidentally", makes you think that you are doing all the chasing. She keeps telling you to stay away, because she's no good, but you think she is an angel, and don't know why her self-image is so bad. Then you fall in love, have great sex and great sharing, get married and have two children, and she makes the first few years of your marriage complete heaven.

    Only THEN does she begin to hatch her evil plan.

    Know what? That could work. It's hard to believe that your basic psychopath is willing to hatch a scheme that requires acting out a role for six years, but it could work. By that time, you would trust her so thoroughly that you'd ignore all the signs of trouble until it was too late to do anything about them.

    Although I liked that concept in principle, there are some real gaps in the logic of this film. The femme fatale spends all that time entrapping an architect in his mid-30s so she can con him out of his money. What defies all common sense is that the basic value of a genius architect is his own brilliance. If you kill him or prevent him from working,  you lose all the future value of that brilliance. What he will make in the years from age 35-65 is WAY better than what he has accumulated so far in his salad days. Maybe she can get complete control of his business and his finances, but his ongoing business has no value without his mind. In this case, the femme fatale would have been far better off simply playing her role forever than double-crossing her husband. Because that is true, her duplicity is irritating - what does she have to gain? The moviegoer just has to assume she is an incurable psychopath, and that she operates in a special deranged world where logic does not apply. That is not an easy commitment for an audience to make to a pure entertainment film. Maybe for Bunuel or Bergman, I am willing to suspend my disbelief to see what kind of psychological truths the auteur can find in that kind of deranged world, but not for an erotic thriller. If it is a junk movie which is supposed to entertain me with the plot, I prefer things a bit more rational.

    I did get completely hooked into this mystery for about an hour, first while it was being set up and then when the mystery first started to unravel. It had my complete attention. When the scheming woman finally played her trump card, however, I found the film very audience-unfriendly. It was crushing to have to watch the husband get his entire life taken away from him, even though he was a great guy. Compare that to the more successful plotting strategies used in the best thrillers. When you are watching Body Heat, for example, you might like Ned Racine and might have a beer with him now and then, but you know that he deserves what he got. After all, he's incurably lazy and horny. He'd fuck your wife or daughter if he got a chance, and he participated in a murder! Hell, that still would have been murder, even if he had been correct about the unsavory character of the murdered man . In Dream Lover, however, you have to sit back and watch a great guy get destroyed by a woman who gave him many ideal years of love and marriage. He didn't even do anything morally questionable. He was just stupid enough to fall for her scheme, and marry her. But any of us would have done the same. Madchen Amick was not only a total megababe, but she genuinely seemed to love him completely for years and years. She got completely naked in the film, so we can also see how magnificent she was in his eyes. Her face ... her body ... everything ... magnificent! We can understand exactly how fell into this abyss. If I met a woman who looked like this and seemed to love me completely for five years, while bearing my children, I'd probably get suckered into any scheme she pulled on me in year six, no doubt about it. That has a touch of motivational realism but, once again, the destruction of the innocent husband is pretty heavy-duty stuff for an entertainment picture.

    Oh, yeah, speaking of stuff too heavy for an entertainment film, I don't think I mentioned that there is a framing device in which the husband has recurring dreams about his life in which scary clowns and wicked ringmasters tell him what is going on in his life, by using an "evil circus" motif. Oh, brother!

    Then finally, when the husband seemed to figure out a plan to reverse his fortunes, the film ended, and I thought "What? That's it? That's the ending? Wait a minute ... "

    Reading this review back to myself, it seems like I really didn't like it. That isn't true. I am glad I watched it. I thought it had some great concepts and some good moments, and the fact that it manipulated my emotions so well indicates that the filmmaking was effective in a way. In addition, the lead actors did a good job with their roles. If you like a slow-burn mystery, you'll probably get a kick out of it.

    It's just that it irritated the hell out of me.

    It is very obvious from the trailer that this film was once quite different from the existing version. I think about half of the scenes in the trailer aren't even in the film!  (There are no deleted scenes on the DVD, and there is no commentary, so I can't tell really you why there are different plot elements shown in the trailer.)

    Maybe they should have restored some more of the scenes from the trailer - apparently some plot-driven stuff about safe deposit boxes - and removed some of the evil clowns ...

     ... maybe even - and I know I'm out on a limb here - but maybe even ALL of the evil fucking clowns.

    Of course, that's just a thought. Personally, I feel there's no such thing as too many evil clowns or dwarves.

    • Madchen Amick - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13) some of these are from the full frame version, some from the widescreen version. You have to watch both to see all the nudity. She was a first magnitude babe in those days, and she gave up all the goods. Oddly enough, she never really did any significant nudity after this film, and she never really looked this good again.



    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated!



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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Breast Men

    It's about a doctor who does implants. Warning - these film clips are not even close to being Schwimmer-free. There is more of Ross in here than in the complete boxed set of Friends.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    • Katie Holmes, showing off her amazing chest in her first (and hopefully not her last) topless scene. From the 2000 movie, "The Gift"

    • Speaking of amazing chests....Here's Diane Lane in "The Big Town" (1987). Coincidentally, Lane and Holmes were both about the same age (22) in each of these scenes.

    • Demi Moore topless and crawling around the stage in scenes from "Strip Tease".

    • From the 1974 disaster movie "Earthquake". Former "Dallas" co-star Victoria Principal isn't nude, but that t-shirt couldn't fit any better!

    Kelly Carlson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Kelly Carlson edits
    (1, 2, 3)

    Some folks may recognize her from the FX series "Nip/Tuck". Here she is topless and showing a bit of bum in scenes from the direct-to-video sequel, "Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation". The edits are the same images as links 1, 4 and 5. I just made a quick brightness adjustment.

    Natacha Régnier
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Topless in two scenes, plus some far off rear nudity from the French movie "Les Amants Criminels" aka "Criminal Lovers" (1999).

    Flauti takes a look at the Spanish film "Juana la Loca" (2001).

    • Carolina Bona, shows off a single nipple.

    • Italian mega-babe Manuela Arcuri shows her breasts in all of these, plus a hint of pubes in link #2. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    • Pilar López de Ayala, the Spanish actress bares her breasts in links 2-7 and shows off a first class bum in link #1. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Club Dread"
    Comedy and horror together is somewhat unusual, but in this 2004 movie, they pull it off with fair success.

    Plot finds a machete murderer haunting a beach resort on a remote island off Costa Rica. The island is a swinger's paradise, but things get nasty when someone starts offing the staff. Well, I've been to some resorts where the staff probably deserved killing, but hey, it's the plot.

    While I've seen funnier comedies, and scarier horror flicks, this definitely is not too bad, and all the beautiful women are an added bonus, so this is definitely one I suggest you watch.

    Keira Knightley
    (1, 2, 3)

    The "Pirates of the Caribbean" star showing off some new fashions and looking fantastic in these Diddy scans from the Sunday Times 'Style' magazine. (A UK paper)

    Kate Hudson
    (1, 2)

    The "Almost Famous" star showing off a whole lotta leg during her Thursday night appearance on Leno.

    Heather Locklear Heather playing with her boobs for the paparazzi at a red carpet event. Thanks to Squiddy.

    Mia Sara
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    She'll always be Ferris Bueller's girlfriend to me....Here she is showing all 3 B's in 'scenes from "Black Day Blue Night" (1995). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    "IT" = "Internet Tail" - The IT company LL Media of Nordjylland, Denmark, is offering employees a new benefit: free subscriptions to Internet porn sites. Company director Levi Neilsen says they know people surf porn sites, even during work, so he thinks access to porn is a natural fringe benefit, like a company car or cell phone. He said he hopes that giving his staff free access to porn will make them more relaxed and efficient on the job.

  • Relaxed, yes...efficient, no.
  • Well, they'll become extremely efficient at surfing for porn.
  • It'll really help his employees get a grip on themselves.
  • This was already tried at the Clinton White House.

    The Michael Moore Of Naked Paintball Documentaries - In Las Vegas, video producer Michael Burdick pled guilty to two misdemeanors, including giving false information to a public official. Burdick admitted that he made up the story that he charged $10,000 for men to hunt naked women with paint guns, just to promote "Hunting For Bambi," his video of such a hunt, which was staged. The story caused a media sensation. Burdick was fined $1,105 and apologized for embarrassing the city of Las Vegas with his hoax.

  • Las Vegas gets embarrassed?
  • That'll teach him that in Las Vegas, women are treated with RESPECT!
  • He also announced the release of his new documentary video, "Naked Alien Autopsy."

    Be Happy You're Not "Grape" - Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their baby daughter "Apple," but another celebrity kid doesn't think that's so cute. 14-year-old Peaches Geldof, daughter of Bob "Live Aid" Geldof, wrote in the Daily Telegraph that such names are exotic and not boring, but "I am named, as you may have noticed, after a fruit...It doesn't make sense to me at all." She says she always has to repeat it to people at least twice, and deal with lascivious comments like "You're a juicy piece of fruit, aren't you?" and "Look at those peaches!"

  • And she doesn't even have any yet!
  • When she started getting breasts, she was just glad she wasn't named after a pear.
  • I suspect Frank Zappa didn't die of cancer, he was murdered by his kids, Dweezil, Ahmet and Moon Unit.