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The Dreamers (2003) - HD clips five and six
It was a film from acclaimed Italian director
Bernardo Bertolucci, and Eva Green's nudity was chosen by our voters as the best
nude scene of the year.
Review here. It's easy to get excited about high definition videos
and captures from this film! I'll be spreading these out over several
days, because the video files are large.
Deadly Weapons (1974) - clips five and six
Here's another classic, although for different
reasons. In this case, the movie is so bad that it should be sold in
cheese shops instead of video outlets, but it does feature the unique
talents of one "Chesty" Morgan, she of
the 72 inch natural gazongas. Her chest isn't that sexy, but it
certainly is a curiosity item. Here are the next two installments. (5,
6) (Large
zipped .wmv files this time.)
NOTE: Clip six is a "strip club" routine, and
could easily be skipped. (Yawn) Clip five is the one and only
worthwhile scene in the movie. Chesty applies for work, and this is
her interview. It's short, to the point, and acted and directed with a
hilarious lack of subtlety that makes Larry Storch seem to be one of
those deeply internalized actors like Jeremy Irons or Terrence Howard.
If the worst actor from your high school drama club were to re-create
this scene, he would do it far better - and yet the incompetence of it
really creates the humor, much like a particularly bad/good episode of
Benny Hill. In fact, I could easily imagine Benny doing this exact
same scene on his show, and doing it almost exactly as it is performed
here, right down to the "boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing!" sound effect!
Combien tu m'aimes? (2005)
Discussed this before.
Review here. I've done this before, but the official Region 2 DVD
is out now, and it is Monica Bellucci, dammit! I still don't know whether I
like the movie or not. It is really an odd one. Think of
a collaboration between Luis Buñuel and
Cameron Crowe.
But, you say, that makes no sense. You got it.
Other Crap:
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The Top 10 Strangest
Gadgets of the Future
"For several weeks
Microsoft has been in discussions about a
possible acquisition of online auctioneer
eBay"
"Angelina Jolie and Brad
Pitt welcome their daughter Shiloh Nouvel
Jolie-Pitt."
The Top Ten College
Pranks of All Time
Here's the complete
affidavit and search warrant (all 95 pages of
it) in the William Jefferson case
Here's the "can't
miss" hit of the summer:
Depardieu brings dance
hall singer into spotlight
- Gerard Depardieu
shows off his vocal skills as a lonely dance
hall singer in a new French film that paints
a nostalgic picture of a profession
threatened by DJs and karaoke bars. In "The
Singer," aging entertainer Alain Moreau
(Depardieu) wins the hearts of pensioners
and middle-aged ladies with heart-rending
songs he performs at village discos, homes
for the elderly and the local frog festival.
Moreau sings lines such as "I would do all
for a flirt with you" and "Live your life to
the fullest!" -- then goes home to his empty
house, where a juke box, a goat and a
self-tanning machine are his only
companions.
- I wonder if he can
take the goat to the frog festival.
- And don't miss the
picture of Depardieu, who's looking better
than ever - remarkably fat and unkempt, even
by his own admittedly lax standards. Hell,
he looks fat and unkempt even by Harry
Knowles's standards! This guy could play
Jabba the Hutt without make-up!
The Dick 'n Dubya show
- Worst comics ever?
Talk about not ready for prime time. These
two guys aren't even ready for cable access.
Brave George Clooney
Almost Kills "Icky" Spider
Canada Orders Mounties to
U.S. Border to Prevent Influx of Crappy Film
Productions
An interview with William
Hung
- Most singers are
better when they sing than when they talk.
The Hunger is no exception. Of course if
Pavarotti talks worse than he sings, it's
because he has a high bar to clear.
To the best of my
knowledge, this is a real product:
Worship at every meal
with Jesus Pan.
"Imagine serving Heavenly Hotcakes at the next
church breakfast." As "featured on Tonight
Show with Jay Leno"
The Sound Track from A
Prairie Home Companion
X-Men 3 opens humungous!
- Oh, not so bad.
Nothing worth mentioning. Only the biggest
fucking Friday in the history of the world!
- It was the third
best day in cinema history, behind Revenge
of the Sith's Thursday opening, and Shrek
2's first Saturday. It beat the former
record Friday by a whopping 10%!
Latin American directors
cause last-minute Cannes stir
- Two films from
Latin America caused a late stir at Cannes.
"Mexican director Guillermo del Toro's
fantasy, Pan's Labyrinth, is about a girl in
fascist-era Spain who believes she is the
reincarnated princess of a magical
underworld kingdom. Buenos Aires 1977, by
Israel Adrian Caetano, is based on the true
story of four young men who escaped from
their torturers during Argentina's military
dictatorship. Latin American directors have
had a particularly strong showing this year
at Cannes, which concludes with the awards
ceremony Sunday. Another movie by a Mexican
director, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's
Babel, is considered a strong prize
contender.
- NOTE: the author of
the article meant "underworld" in the
original sense of "underground," not in the
modern sense of "criminal."
Being a Vegan costs
money. Humbug! - "Freegans" forage for food in
bins.
Clerks 2 receives an
8-minute standing ovation at Cannes!!!
- Congratulations to
Kevin! Every movie buff that I know is
desperate for a good film comedy, since
there has been a long drought since The
Wedding Crashers and The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
It appears that Miramax will have a big hit
on its hands.
- Harvey Weinstein
now looks like a genius for moving Clerks 2
up to the July 21 time slot, thus beating
Talladega Nights into the theaters by two
weeks.
The Hall Of Heroes
The official site for
SNAKES ON A PLANE
PCWorld.com - The 25
Worst Tech Products of All Time |
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Amazon Jail (1982)
Amazon Jail (1982) is a Brazilian film from
director/writer/cinematographer Oswaldo De Oliveira. It is not a women in
prison film, at least not in the usual sense, but it incorporates many of
the familiar WIP elements. A large number of young women are held in a cage
against their will, are supervised by a mean bisexual woman, and are
befriended by a guard. Since they are naked much of the time, including
shower scenes, cat fights, hetero and lesbian sex scenes and escape
sequences, it is a WIP in spirit at least.
The women are lured to the Amazon with a promise of a high paying job as
a tour guide. When they arrive, they are taken captive by a white slavery
ring, and put in "the corral" while waiting for buyers. When one girl
escapes during an orgy, the guards go looking for her, and discover her with
three naked local girls enjoying a pool under a waterfall. They shoot her,
and capture the local girls, which proves to be a mistake because one of the
local girls is engaged to the local police chief. The nephew of the man in
charge of the white slavery ring helps the prisoners to escape, blows up his
uncle, then goes to the police. Meanwhile, the girls must survive the
jungle, and a group of horny gold miners led by a gay priest. Honest, I am
not making this up.
If you are looking for an engaging plot, look elsewhere, but if
nearly-constant female nudity, good photography, cat fights, and lesbian sex
are your idea of entertainment, you will want to see this Blue Underground
Release.
C+. It delivers everything to genre lovers that a genre film is expected
to deliver.
The IMDb score of 4.6 in based on only 31 votes.
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The righteous folks down at Something Weird Video put together two of Doris
Wishman's strange ones into a nice neat package. They are My Brother's Wife and
Indecent Desires. I am nothing resembling an expert on the subject, but from
what I can gather these are a couple of movies made in the mid-60's as part of a
collection of cheap nudies to come out of New York. A small group of actresses
appeared in them. Some have entered cult status and, by what is shown in these
two movies, I can see why. The three who show up and show off in this couple of
movies are June Roberts in My Brother's Wife and Sharon Kent and Jackie Richards
in Indecent Desires. The incomparable Darlene Bennett (BTW, the name of a
website and a Yahoo group) and her sister, Dawn, also appear in MBW. They keep
their clothes on, even though Darlene gives up major cleavage.
My Brother's Wife
My Brother's Wife is oddly made...jump cuts to objects and scatter pans that
leave you wondering who the hell edited this thing ... whereas indecent Desires
is just plain odd. MBW is a sordid tale of greed and lust that does not end
very well at all. You could see it happening down at the trailer park with
people who look very much like the ones in the movie. The only exposure is from
the perky June Roberts in a scene that goes from her undressing in front of a
mirror (Ms Wishman loved to shoot scenes with mirrors) to her standing 'round in
a black see-through nightie (Ms Wishman loved black see-through nighties)
berating her chubby old hubby about his lack of interest in her.
| June Roberts film clips: (1,
2) . The film
clips in Brainscan's section are all zipped .avis) |
| June Roberts collages: |
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| Darlene Bennett (no nudity) |
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| Dawn Bennett: (no nudity) |
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Indecent Desires
Indecent Desires is a quasi-voodoo story about a mega-loser who a) finds a doll,
plastic variety; b) imagines a comely lass played by Sharon Kent is said doll; c)
finds a ring that for reasons left to the viewer has the magic power to make
whatever the loser does to the doll happen to Sharon's character. Sharon spends
the first couple of minutes and several others showing off a kick-ass body.
Part of the reason she gets nekkid a time or two is that as the loser feels up
the doll, she feels him feeling up. Or something like that. So she strips to
investigate. She also lolls around in black nighties (see above, regarding Ms.
Wishman's tastes in such things). There is a decided roughness to this
movie...it is popularly known as a roughie ... because the loser beats and burns
and finally breaks the head off the doll and Sharon's character feels it all.
Not at all attractive to my eyes. But you FF through those and get to the
goodies and all is well.
Jackie Richards plays a character named Babbs. She is an older brunette with a
face that is plain and a body from her rumpus on up that ain't half bad ... but
those legs are a tragedy. Short and stubby and riddled with cellulite. She
spends a couple minutes nekkid exercising in front of a mirror (ibid) and you
can bet it is the only exercise those legs of her saw all year.
One more thing about Indecent Desires: Doris Wishman seemed to have a good idea
about the audience for her movies. In one of the Sharon Kent scenes, the
mega-loser guy imagines a tryst with her, during which she looks straight at the
camera. Doris must have known a fair proportion of those watching this opus
magnum imagined the same scenario. And then the Jackie Richards exercise scene
has her look into the camera as she does a couple of toe-touching bend-forward
routines. There is a peeping-Tom edge to
the scene that is unmistakeable. Kind of a genius, that Doris.
One of the chuckles in watching these two movies together is to notice they were
both shot in the same apartment. Uh huh. Just about every scene that involves
an apartment or an office is shot from the very space place. Notice, in
particular, that the mirror in front of which June Roberts strips is the same as
that in front of which Jackie Richards strips. Gotta love it.
So the stories are stupid. But who cares? At this time in the history of
American cinema, the New York group was about the only source of nudity in film.
And some of the gals these movies made famous, June Roberts and Sharon Kent for
example, are more than sorta okay looking. We should be thankful the movies
were made in the first place and we should thank the boys down at Something
Weird for getting them out on DVD.
| Sharon Kent film clips (1,
2,
3,
4,
5) |
| Sharon Kent collages: |
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| Jackie Richards film clips (1,
2,
3) |
| Jackie Richards collages: |
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