Palookaville (1995) is an inept crook comedy, which could have easily been a Tarentinoesque violence thing, or a boring rehash of the "Over the Hill Gang." In stead, it is a low key comedy with lots of muted laughs, good performances, and wonderful character development. William Forsythe, Vincent Gallo and Adam Trese are lifelong buddies in Jersey City, New Jersey, all unemployed, all more or less in a state of perpetual childhood, and all looking for a way to make some money and have a life. Vincent Gallo still lives at home with his mother, sister, and jerk cop brother-in-law. He is having a secret relationship with a young neighbor girl, Kim Dickens. Adam Trese is married and has a child, but when he catches her supermarket boss trying to fondle her, he punches the boss out, turning them into a 0 income family. William Forsythe lives in squalor with is two dogs since his wife divorced him.
As they film opens, they are breaking into a jewelry store. Small miscalculation, and they end up in a bakery. Basically the optimistic sort, they clear out the few dollars in the register, and eat their fill of pastry. They try an abortive attempt at being an unlicensed taxi, then hit on "the idea." They will rob an armored car. Given their total lack of ability, you know they will not do well.
Dickens shows breasts flashing Gallo across the alley. IMDb readers have this at 6.5 of 10, and both Ebert and Berardinelli award 3 stars. I agree. I didn't get many belly laughs, but spent the entire film chuckling, grinning broadly, and enjoying the characters. There were excellent supporting performances from the likes of Frances McDormand, Lisa Gay Hamilton and Gareth Williams. They managed to create a fresh film even starting with an oft used premise. This film has a lot of heart. This is a solid C+.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
Director Michael Winterbottom really has a thing for Thomas
Hardy. He directed Jude, an interpretation of Hardy's Jude the
Obscure, and then followed up four years later with The Claim, a
Hardy story (The Mayor of Casterbridge) re-imagined in an American
mining town in the 19th century. They are both good films, and they
are both faithful to the original stories, to the extent that any
long and complex novel can be adequately represented in a two hour
These interpretations have earned Winterbottom a lot of respect
in literary circles and among those who love filmed literature, but
are not going to be his ticket to wealth and fame, because the
number of ticket buyers in those literary groups is small indeed.
Jude grossed only $405,000 in the vast United States market, and The
Claim grossed an uncannily similar $404,000.
Of course, these novels weren't doing a lot for Thomas Hardy
either. Many of his works were unpopular with the critics of his
time, and Jude the Obscure was the least popular of all. A small,
discriminating group of reviewers praised it, but in general it was
panned so harshly and so vituperatively that Hardy never wrote
another novel, despite living another 33 years.
If it was difficult for 19th century critics to endure Hardy, it
is far more difficult today. In essence, he brought the grand themes of Greek tragedy to
Victorian Dorsetshire, in novels that were bigger and better
than life - more eloquent, more complicated, more emotional, more
melodramatic. Above all, Hardy's vision of the novel required it to
be more connected, and neater than life. The details and characters
not only needed to be neatly intertwined, but all that twine had to
get tied up into a neat little ball at the end, in order to offer
the kind of closure rarely offered in real life stories.
As a result of these characteristics, Hardy
seems dated to for many reasons: his characters often speak
in old-fashioned provincial dialects, his plotting seems too
contrived even by 19th century standards (which were lax indeed!),
and his themes seem too grand in scope and frankly just too damned
depressing for the humble lives he portrays.
The film version of Jude is saddled with all that baggage. Our
hero is a humble worker who studies Latin and Greek on his own
because he wants to make something of himself. He amasses some
impressive classical scholarship but the class system holds him
back, and the great English Universities will not even give him a
chance. He unwisely marries the first woman who pays attention to
him, and this marriage haunts him the rest of his life. He then
falls in love with his brilliant cousin and has two children with
her while he is still technically married to his first wife. Society
refuses to accept the relationship of the cousins, and this leads to
tragedy after tragedy. Imagine the worst things that can happen to a
man, and the things you imagine will probably happen to poor Jude.
My very short version of all this is that the movie is very good
but very depressing. I mean this is a real bummer. Without spoiling
the plot for you, I can't even hint as to exactly how depressing it
is, but take my word for it that if you don't like that kind of
movie, this is absolutely not for you. You have been warned.
I will speak now with the people who do like these sorts of
serious literary adaptations. Someday you will want to have this
film in your collection, because it is a good adaptation, it is
performed beautifully, and the cinematography is exquisite. However
... there is no Region 1 DVD, and you do NOT want the current Region
2 DVD. The best thing about this film is its visual appeal - great
sets, great costumes, photographed magnificently. Unfortunately,
this DVD only includes a full screen version of the film in a 4:3 TV
aspect ratio. If it were a full 35mm negative version, I would not
complain, but this is a pan 'n scan version with the sides of heads
cut off in two-shots, and other similar problems. I would like to
own a properly mastered widescreen anamorphic DVD of this film, but
I don't expect one to be available soon simply because there is no
great economic demand for it. Today's DVD producers have plenty of
profitable projects backlogged, and there is no urgent reason to
interrupt those plans to work on a film which grossed $400,000, and
is not likely to perform much better on DVD. If anyone does do it,
it will have to be a labor of love with a minimal expectation of
financial reward, unless it could be marketed based on the full
frontal nudity from a young and ripe Kate Winslet.
Sigh. The bottom line is that Jude is a worthwhile small audience
movie that I am simply not recommending for anyone at this time.
Nice nudity, though!
- Rachel Griffiths (1,
- Kate Winslet (1,
Did Jolie have sex with Pitt? She says, "Absolutely not!"
DNA tests will determine if James Carville is related to Bat Boy.
The pictures cinch it for me.
Experiments in Galvanism: Frog with Implanted Webserver
Watercolor illustrations of characters from Lovecraft stories.
- Good news for you nutbars!
"Spaceships Will Appear Over Las Vegas On My Signal"
... "For only 45 days, starting June 1st until July 15, 2005,
Prophet Yahweh, Seer of Yahweh, will be calling down UFOs and
spaceships for the news media to film and photograph"
- URL says it all:
- Odd, but compelling concept:
PHOTOS OF AN UNKNOWN FAMILY WHO PROBABLY OWNED A LIQUOR STORE
The original script for Sex, Lies, and Videotape
The Straight Dope: Was Ludwig van Beethoven of African ancestry?
- Slurpee lover films people getting brain freeze:
JoBlo.com's Cannes Wrap-Up
The organizers of a memorial service for writer Hunter S
Thompson are to build a 150 foot-high tower from which to fire
his ashes. Actor Johnny Depp will pay for the tower
to be built for the service, set to take place on August 20.
- URL says it all:
H.S. Yearbook Publishes Assassination 'Joke.' Student
chosen "most likely to assassinate Bush." (Anybody know what it
says in Lee Harvey Oswald's book?)
Eddie Albert bids good bye to city life, aged 99
Three "caught on video" clips for Stealth.
- Columbia Pictures' "Stealth" is an epic action thriller
about a squadron of elite pilots who embark on a mission of
global consequence to neutralize an out-of-control prototype
drone fighter plane equipped with artificial intelligence and
the ability to precipitate a nuclear war.
Watch the first six minutes of Mad Hot Ballroom.
Official blurb for this documentary:
- "Eleven-year-old New York City public school kids journey
into the world of ballroom dancing and reveal pieces of
themselves and their world along the way. Told from their
candid, sometimes hilarious perspectives, these kids are
transformed, from reluctant participants to determined
competitors, from typical urban kids to "ladies and
gentlemen", on their way to try to compete in the final
city-wide competition. Providing unique insight into the
incredible cultural diversity that is New York City, this film
profiles several kids from three schools (out of 60) at this
dynamic age, when becoming that "cool" teenager vies for
position with familiar innocence, while they learn the
Merengue, Rumba, Tango, Foxtrot and Swing."
|| Fantastic Four || - International Trailer Don't
know if the script is any good, but some great special effects!
Both sides close their cases in Jacko trial.
Paul Bettany joins the Da Vinci code as the
National Treasure kicks ass in the video rental market.
It held off the new releases yet again, to top the DVD rental
charts for the third straight week.
Lost in Translation - enter a phrase and the program translates
it in and out of five languages, then back into English
- I entered Hemingway's famous phrase "No one has explained
what the leopard was seeking at that altitude."
- The result was actually not as bad as I was hoping!
"Nobody explained, of which what in the leopard to this height
Mariah Makes a Move on Elvis and the Beatles. She now
has 16 number one hits. The article says that only the Beatles
and Elvis have had more, making her the most successful female
performer of all time. I don't believe that summary is entirely
fair, because it requires us to treat Diana Ross's two careers
as two separate acts.
Diana had twelve number one hits with The Supremes, and then six
more as a solo artist, giving her 18 altogether. I
guess it would be fair to call Mariah the most successful female
Cosmetics-peddling giant Mary Kay is pulling out of a planned ad
buy on Desperate Housewives following criticism from a
conservative Christian group.
- More Northern news. Finland may be out of toilet paper, but
that pales in importance when you realize that Denmark fears
running out of sperm.
"Tax may drain world's top sperm bank"
Will Finland soon be out of toilet paper?
Conan O'Brien goes for a drive in his desk
"2 Imperial Japanese Army soldiers believed found in
Libraries turn the page, many want to axe videos
- "A library is dedicated to the pursuit of truth. A library
is for increasing our knowledge"
- How do they expect our kids to learn when they are renting
the filmed versions of The Hunt for Red October and Jackie
Collins novels instead of reading the book versions. I agree.
When I was a boy and wanted ro read junk novels and
pornography, I would get it from my library in printed form
instead of this fancy-schmancy digital stuff!
- Oops. I forgot. When I was a boy the only library was in
Alexandria, and it only had papyrus scrolls. But you know what
I mean. When they first started replacing those papyrus
scrolls with those damned new-fangled bound books, we sure put
up a stink, by cracky, and we did a damned good job of keeping
those infernal books out of our children's hands until that
stinkin' Renaissance came along and spoiled everything. Damn,
I miss the Dark Ages. We really knew how to party back then.
It's amazing how much fun you can have with some baby pigs, a
barrel of mead, and a trebuchet.
- Bring back those glory days at
Trebuchet.com, "Dedicated to the art of hurling."
- I had a college roommate who had that same dedication.
- If ever there was a news story waiting to become a TV movie,
The Super-rats of Thousand Oaks, California
An Indianapolis father is appealing a Marion County judge's
unusual order that prohibits him and his ex-wife from exposing
their child to 'non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals.'"
Even more disturbing is the fact that the judge does not define
exactly what he means by mainstream. The parents are Wiccans.
"TOM CRUISE DECLARES LOVE FOR KATIE HOLMES ON AL-JAZEERA"
- "Elsewhere, the Department of Homeland Security announced
that it would replace its color-coded terror alert system with
a Magic Eight Ball."
Astronomy Pic o' the Day - Titan's Odd Spot
House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is upset that a popular NBC
crime drama used his name as part of its show. The
producer's response, "I congratulate Congressman DeLay for
switching the spotlight from his own problems to an episode of a
The French trailer from The Gathering, a new thriller starring
- "A drifter named Cassie (Ricci)is hit by a car while going
to the town of Ashby Wake and ends up losing her memory, but
the woman who hit her offers to take her in. At the old house,
Cassie begins to have visions, as she learns that there may be
more connections between her and the strange town than she
A clip from Bewitched. Oh, boy! If this is a
highlight, that film is in deep doo-doo.
- The trailer for a new DreamWorks film,
Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
- Kurt Russell, Dakota Fanning, and Kris Kristofferson star
in a drama about a father who, for the love of his daughter,
sacrifices almost everything to save the life of an injured
racehorse and bring the promising filly back to her former
- Am I mistaken, or did Kurt Russell used to be a cool guy?
What happened to Snake Plisskin, and the funny guy from Used
- Russell and the ubiquitous Fanning play the father and
daughter. In an acting tour de force that challenges Jamie
Foxx's performance as Ray, Kris Kristofferson earns a
sure-fire Oscar nomination as the broken-down horse.
The trailer for Four Brothers, John Singleton's new
movie, starring Andre 3000 and other numbered individuals.
The trailer for McLibel. Unique zero-budget
documentary film shot over a ten year period about the legal
struggle between McDonald's and two working class citizens in
the UK. (McDonald's liked to use the English libel laws to
Three clips from the big screen version of The Honeymooners,
which fratures Cedric the Entertainer as Ralph the Bus
Coming Soon has added the domestic and international trailers
for The Island (Summer sci-fi would be blockbuster
starring Obi-Wan and Scarlett Johansson.)
Stairway to Heaven (and other songs) Backwards
Roger Ebert reviews The Longest Yard. The review is
really not about the movie, but about the fact that Ebert gave
the film a lukewarm thumbs up on his video program, and is now
regretting it. He has some bon mots. Here are three of his
- There is a sense in which attacking this movie is like
kicking a dog for not being better at calculus.
- Once you accept Sandler as a quarterback, you've opened up
the backfield to the entire membership of the Screen Actors'
- If you can get to "Crash," that is the movie you must see,
and you should immediately drop any thought of seeing anything
Get your name in Katakana or Kanji Hell, I don't know
if it is really doing my name, but it's a cool idea. I told the
translator my name was Scoopy Scoopy. (Having worked in Tokyo
briefly, I just knew it would have no prayer with "Greg.") When
I clicked on the pronunciation, it did say something like
Soo-Koo-Pee, so I guess that could be the Japanese equivalent of
- Some of the reviewers at Amazon are tremendously witty, and
expend a great deal of time writing funny and completely bogus
reviews of products they have never used. Sometimes they don't
even know what the products are really used for, but that
doesn't keep them from imagining some clever purposes!
Here is one of Amazon.com's best reviewers. For a
good start, check out her review of "Model 1800 Belly Chains
England seeks to ban pointed sticks. Python fans protest.
Of course I exaggerated. In reality, doctors are calling for a
ban on long pointed kitchen knives.
- Here is one nipple-slip you DON'T want to see. Sad.
The formerly ripe Eva Herzigova is now completely anorexic.
I was wondering where she disappeared to. She almost disappeared
- Describing this video, the submitter says:
"Hilarious. Imagine the Beastie Boys as fat chicks who can't
Finally: the first trailer for 'Charlie and the Chocolate
The full trailer for War Of The Worlds
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Finally...here are the results of our recent "Most Overrated Movie" poll
.Email Scoopy Jr. if suggestions for future polls.
Here are the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
Best Lesbian Love Scenes
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
I cranked up the old time machine and went all the way back to 1976. What I found was another "Babe in Bondage" in a grungy
flick called "Satan's Slaves".
Sorry we don't know her name but she is stripped totally naked tied to a tree whipped & branded. Pretty wild stuff they could throw in a movie back in the 70's.
- Unknown Babe in Bondage
A little bonus for those who might like there pics a little tamer. So the "Hankster Light" segment for today gives you the always easy on the eyes Virginia Madsen, topless in the bathtub in "Candyman".
- Virginia Madsen
'Caps and comments by Dann:
Prepare yourself for this 2003 sexploitation take-off on Spider-Man to be bad, then be surprised when it really isn't.
You know the story.....spider bites person (a girl this time), person gets super spider powers, person fights evil, yada, yada, yada. The difference is this person also has sex about every hour on the hour. A nice addition, actually.
They did a surprisingly good job with this spoof, even some special effects that were acceptable if not great, and of course as with any Misty Mundae flick, tons of sex including a lot of lesbian scenes.
A funny, campy, sexy flick that was surprisingly, and unexpectedly, good. Of course, the review and collages refer to the unrated version.
Incidentially, quite a few of the panels in the collages come from the deleted scenes. The unrated version is a 2-dvd set, with one DVD containing the R version and the other the unrated version. Both discs have a ton of features (different on each DVD) including deleted scenes. Like the movie itself, the DVD is pretty impressive for a B-movie sexploitation flick.
|DeadLamb 'caps featuring one of the most famous Heffers ever looking great while showing a little skin on her new UPN series, "The Bad Girl's Guide".
|Annie and Alicia Sorell
||The Twins showing off their fantastic breasts (and making out a little) while doing some incredible bad acting during a shower scene from the direct-to-vid sequel, "Cruel Intentions 2".
|Vejiita 'caps off all 3 ladies going full frontal in scenes from the French movie "Du poil sous les roses" aka "Hair Under the Roses" (2000).
|All 3 ladies are topless (Saibins has some especially nice goodies) in these scenes from the movie "Blood Relic". There is no IMDb listing for it, but according to Amazon, you'll be able to buy it on June 7th. Thanks to the Skin-man for the 'caps.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
DARTH VADER: FLASHER
The Empire Strikes Out - Several women factory workers in two areas of
Seremban, Malaysia, reported being shocked by a man dressed as Darth Vader.
They said he got out of a car and strutted back and forth menacingly.
They thought he was just a "Star Wars" fan trying to impress them with his
costume. Then he opened up his cape to reveal his exposed penis, jumped
back in the car and sped off.
They described him as having a big, dark helmet and a small, light
He may be the first "Star Wars" geek whose genitals have ever been seen
by a woman.
The real Darth Vader says, "I am your father!"...This guy just says,
"Who's your daddy?!"
TIGER WOODS TO BE SCULPTED IN BUTTER
Elvis Ate That Much Butter Every Day - Norma Lyon of Toledo, Ohio, is known
as the "butter cow lady" for creating lifesize statues of cows out of
butter, as well as replicas of Garth Brooks, John Wayne, Elvis and the Last
Supper. But she has a unique idea for this year's Iowa State Fair: she's a
Tiger Woods fan, so she wants to make a lifesize butter sculpture of Tiger
sitting, holding a golf club and scratching a tiger on the head.
The really hard part: getting him to pose for it.
Tiger is one of the few golfers who isn't already made mostly of butter
Coincidentally, her butter statue of the Last Supper was bought by
Elvis, who ate it, and it was his last supper.
|A quick site note
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