Monster (2003) is finally being released on DVD. Ebert called Charlize Theron's Oscar winning performance "one of the greatest performances in the history of the cinema." After watching it, I have to say that he greatly understated the case. This is a biopic about a highway hooker in Florida who ended up killing 7 Johns and was eventually executed. The film makers took the trouble to walk the areas she walked, meet her friends, read all of her correspondence from prison, which was mainly remembrances of her life. IN short, they really did their homework. They didn't try to make her a sympathetic character, but they did show what events and conditions in her life severely limited her choices to the point that she committed the murders, all in an effort to live a real life with her first female lover.

This attention to detail, and serious research into what made the woman what she was would have resulted in a better than average serial killer film, and no more. That brings me back to Charlize Theron's performance. Had I not known it was Charlize I was watching, I never would have guessed it was her. It wasn't just the 30 pounds she put on, the fake facial skin, contacts or false teeth, it was the fact that she became a completely different person, with different body rhythms, different speech patterns, and a different voice. From the few clips of the real Aileen Wuornos included in the special features, Wuomos is the character Theron became. The film was shot in the actual physical locations from Wuomos life. If the film has a moral stance, it is that, when people pushed down for long enough, they have no other choice than to commit horrid acts. However, the film doesn't excuse the acts.

Theron shows breasts in a shower then sex scene, and also is seen in a bra and panties washing up in a public restroom. IMDb readers have this at 7.4 of 10. It earned $34.5M against a budget of $8M. I watch a lot of serial killer films, as they normally have at least some nudity, and this is head and shoulders above the others, primarily because of Charlize Theron. I honestly had no idea she had this kind of talent. With the Best Actress statuette of Uncle Oscar under her arm, she should pull some more big roles now, and I am looking forward to seeing them. This is a clear B, rising above the genre due to good research/writing and an amazing performance. If you haven't seen it, put it on your rental list.

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  • Charlize Theron (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)


    Trainspotting (1996) is being released in a special edition DVD with an entire disk of useless special features. It was hagely successful with a major following, and is rated 7.9 at IMDb, enough to make it number 201 in the top 250 list. Ebert and Berardinelli both award 3 1/2 stars. It earned $72M worldwide against a $3.5M budget. It is essentially a drugs suck film, told through the eyes of 20 something heroin addict Ewan MacGregor, and examines he and his Edinburgh buddies. The film does an excellent job showing what a harsh mistress heroin is, and how addicts only care about two things, the next fix, and their fellow addicts (in that order).

    The film must set a record for use of the word cunt, which is always applied to men. The only nudity comes during a brief dry period, when MacGregor is again interested in sex, and picks up Kelly Macdonald at a club, only to find out the next morning that she is an underage school girl. She shows breasts before and during sex, and bush afterwards getting dressed. This is decidedly not my kind of film. I do not enjoy drugs suck films, and did not relate to any of the characters. That says more about me than about the film though. This is clearly a B, with a huge following.

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  • Kelly MacDonald (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Some oddball stuff in .wmv clips







    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.



    • "Three's Company" babe and Thighmaster spokesperson Suzanne Somers, in Magnum Force, one of the Eastwood films featuring supercop Begrimed Harold (.avi, .wmv)
    • Screen nudity pioneer Glenda Jackson strips off in Women in Love. She was one of the first mainstream actresses to do extensive nudity. (.avi, .wmv)
    • Elisabeth Shue in Molly. I think this was Shue's last screen nudity.(.avi, .wmv)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Crimson Ghost
    Today the Ghost takes a look at the 80's T&A comedy "Basic Training" (1985). It's a pretty standard example of the low-budget, gratuitous nudity 80's genre. The kind of thing that would be direct-to-video now and would probably star Linnea Quigley or Michelle Bauer, plus a few extra Skinemax babes for extra long grautitous nude scenes...or possilbly the always important to any plot wet-shirt contest.

    • Angela Aames, the B-movie babe who sadly died way before her time. She's probably best known from "H.O.T.S." (1979) and as the 'Baby Picture mom' from the 1984 Tom Hanks comedy classic "Bachelor Party". Here she is topless in the tub.
      (1, 2, 3)

    • Angela Aames .wmv

    • Ann Dusenberry, the 'star' of the movie...well the lead character anyway. In typical B-movie fashion, she's the kinda, but cute girl who doesn't get nekkid until the end of the movie.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    • Ann Dusenberry .wmvs. Nice cleavage in #1, topless in the others. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Barbara Peckinpaugh and Erika Dockery playing "Salesgirl #1" and "Salesgirl #2". Not exactly sure which is which, but both are topless and one is mostly full frontal while lying on her side.

    • Barbara Peckinpaugh and Erika Dockery .wmv

    • Rhonda Shear, the B-actress and former host of the USA Network's "USA Up All Night". Here she is as a brunette, and topless before any alterations.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Rhonda Shear .wmvs (topless in #1) (1, 2)

    • Three unknown actresses. Full frontal nudity in 1 and 2. All 3 B's in #3. Toplessness only in 4 and 5.
      (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Vids of the three unknowns, plus a few other assorted body parts in pool full of nekkid people. (1, 2, 3)

    • A .wmv of topless parachuting babes

    Jennifer Love Hewitt
    (1, 2)

    On the red carpet at the "American Idol" finale.

    Jessica Simpson Showing off some cleavage as usual. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

    Pam Grier
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Marvin 'caps of the #1, 70's Soul Sista topless, and showing a bit of bum. Here she is gettin' funky with Bernie Casey in scenes from "Hit Man" (1972).

    Stefania Sandrelli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The Italian actress bares all (including gyno-cam views) in scenes from the 1983 Tinto Brass movie "La Chiave" aka "The Key".

    Pamela Anderson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Jenny McCarthy

    Señor Skin 'caps of the best part of "Scary Movie 3"...Pam and Jenny poking fun of themselves during the first 5 minutes. Pam's mega-huge robo-boobs can barely be contained, and McCarthy bends over to show off her pink undies.

    As a huge fan of "Airplane!", "Top Secret" and "The Naked Gun" movies, it hurts to say this, but I think David Zucker really needs to stop directing. "Scary Movie 3" was at best a series of 'dick and fart' jokes sprinkled with Leslie Nielsen recycling lines that he originally delivered in "Airplane!" (and that time, they were funny). As a fan, perhaps I'm still a little pissed at Zucker for delivering one of the worst director commentaries ever (see my review of "Top Secret"), but in this case, I think I can step away from that, look at the pieces of the SM3 puzzle objectively, and still say he fell very short.

    First off all...He missed the point of the "Scary Movie" series. Yes, poke fun at popular movies, but the key element was poking fun at the horror movie genre and all the genre's wonderful clichés. "Scary Movie 3" lacks the focus and/or plot found in the first two. Instead, it's just all over the map with parodies. Including poking fun of: "The Ring", "The Matrix Reloaded", "Signs", "The Hulk", "The Others" and "8 Mile". Granted there are some funny scenes, but only in one-liner, or 1 minute scene form. Then followed up by 5-10 minutes of bouncing around between other, moronic sub-plots and parody ideas that are just plain not funny.

    My second major problem with this movie...TONS of comic talent wasted. Charlie Sheen, Anthony Anderson, Eddie Griffin, George Carlin and Timothy Stack (aka my brother's hero "Notch Johnson") to name a few. Each was able to get a few one-liners in, but with this much comic power, Zucker should have been able to get more laughs on screen.

    Number 3 (and I think this answers all). While watching the behind the scenes featurettes, Zucker proudly announced several times that much of the movie was made up as they were shooting. Often, he would do re-writes at night, then deliver lines to the actors the next day along with orders for the crew to build new sets. Call me crazy, but how the hell do you get work in Hollywood as a director working like that? And more importantly, where do I sign up! Give me a 45 million budget, a cast of some of the funniest comic actors in the business and I guarantee I could do better!

    end of rant

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    American Voters Finally Get One Right! - Last night's "American Idol" results show was stretched out nearly to Super Bowl length, complete with a pre-show and Tamyra Gray singing the National Anthem. Not surprisingly, favorite Fantasia Barrino beat Diana DeGarmo, although Fox claimed the vote was within one percent. * Diana's demanding a recount in Florida. * Fantasia knew she'd made it because she was immediately sued for copyright infringment by Disney Corp. * After the show, millions of people called in and tried to vote for Tamyra Gray. * It's become just like the Super Bowl, except the Super Bowl features musical entertainment.

    God Is An Art Lover - The British modern art world was shocked by the news that a raging warehouse fire in London destroyed dozens of works by top contemporary artists. It included art by Damian Hirst, famous for his rotting-sheep-floating-in-formaldehyde, and Tracey Emin's "Everyone I Have Ever Slept With, 1963-1995," which was a tent upon which she had stitched the names of dozens of her past lovers. Art critics called it a devastating loss.

  • I call it "the feel-good story of the day."
  • The total value of the loss could top 12 dollars.

    Pick-Up Schticks - The UK dating website listed Britain's 30 Worst Pick-Up Lines, so a Sun tabloid reporter set out to test them. One woman thought "Does God know you've escaped from Heaven?" was "cute," but wouldn't go for a drink. To "I think I've seen you on the cover of Playboy," a woman said, "No, you haven't! Now, f*** off!" "I'm here, what were your other two wishes?" made a woman say she might be sick. And "How do you like your eggs in the morning, fertilized or unfertilized?," "Nice top, can I talk you out of it?" and "I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock" drew face slaps and "You pervert, get away from me!"

  • If cavemen had used that "Bedrock" line, none of us would be here today.
  • But if George Clooney had used any of them, they would've worked.
  • My most successful pickup line is, "Hi, can I buy you a house?"

    Needs Nick - After the much-ballyhooed signing of Jessica Simpson to star in a sitcom pilot, ABC has rejected it. They assigned some of their best writers to the show, which cast Simpson as a singing star trying to make it as a Barbara Walters-style news reporter, but the result was disappointing. ABC executives didn't blame Simpson, insisting she was "the best thing in it" but it wasn't "the best use of her talents."

  • She was covering her talents with too many clothes.
  • Making Jessica Simpson dress like Barbara Walters didn't amuse anyone!
  • The premise was too unbelievable...Who could buy Jessica Simpson as a singing star?!