Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

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Thursday

Web and Celeb

Belgian Noel Godin started a group that throws custard pies at people they don't like. (Bill Gates, for example) Now they have consolidated it into an official political party to run in the upcoming Brussels elections. The party is called TARTE, a French-language acronym for "All Drunk, Let's Party Together". Godin says it is the only party which promisesd nothing, stands for no one, and is totally irrresponsible. Boy do I have a candidate for them. Arkansas guy with a very impressive resume who will be unemployed come January 2001. Not to mention several members of the Kennedy family and most European royalty.

Shannen Doherty said in a recent interview that she was filming a scene, running in a short skirt, when she fell down, did the splits, and her G-string underwear shifted. "The whole crew saw everything", she said. "For two weeks I couldn't look them in the eye". That's one we will probably never get a picture of.

Sophie

Here again, for those that missed it yesterday, is the tabloid topless pic of Sophie Rhys-Jones, who will marry Prince Edward and thus become a princess on June 19. She is not related to either Jonathan Rhys-Meyers or Kellogg Rhys-Krispies. Curiously, though, she will be attended by three flower girls named Snap, Crackle, and Pop.

EWG from FR

The list of Clinton's girlfriends includes some who were not all that attractive. A major-league exception was Elizabeth Ward Gracen, a Grade B performer, but one Grade A looker. What's more, she said she liked him and the relationship was a very positive one for her. She's nearly 40 now, but was Miss Arkansas, and Miss America (1981), and later posed in Playboy (in 1992, and again in 1998 after her relationship with the Prez became public). FR capped some rarely-circulated scenes of her in "Discretion Assured", including this nude scene

more of EWG. She's not nude here, but the scene is sexy and charming.

The Realist

The Realist did two very different movies, "Wild Things" and "Elizabeth", and it got me to thinking about what the Academy considers a great movie. For some reason, they have these conscience pangs that require them to give awards to serious prestige projects. I just can't write a thesis defending the position that the much-honored "Elizabeth" is a better movie than "Wild Things". Don't get me wrong. Elizabeth is a fine movie. It's well filmed and presented in that usual British classical RSC acting style that usually passes for good acting, but is more about guys listening to the sounds of their own voices. In fact, it is actually a very clever period remake of "The Godfather". If you haven't seen it, Elizabeth is the Michael Corleone, innocent at first, but gradually learning about being tough enough to do what you have to do. In the ultimate film homage, she has Walsingham get rid of all her enemies in a one-night purge while she kneels at prayer in the chapel. OK, it's a fine movie, but it's just another one of those talky period biographies, and Fiennes the Younger really phoned in his part, playing precisely the same character as when he played Shakespeare. Same quirky neck turns, same irritating moony eyes, same delivery, he may even have worn some of the same clothing. He even used a few poems to woo the queen. You'll think you popped the wrong movie in the VCR. (Shakespeare, of course, lived most of his life in Elizabeth's reign).

"Wild Things" is a real genre classic, possibly one of the five best trashy movies ever made, filled with lurid pleasures and twists, and plenty of South Florida atmosphere. I have to tell you, if I could only have one of these two movies in my collection, it would be "Wild Things", although I like them both.

The worst example of the Academy's stumblings in the trash-vs-art was when the insufferably tedious "Chariots of Fire" won best picture over "Raiders of the Lost Ark", which probably is the single best trashy movie ever made. Raiders is now considered one of the 15 best movies of any kind ever made, according to IMDb subscribers, and Chariots is way back in the pack, out of the top 250. I've never made it though Chariots all the way without falling asleep, although I've tried many times. I used to think I was unique, until I starting admitting it. Now when I tell the story tons of people smile and say "I thought I was the only one". They should show that movie in those clinics that treat sleep disorders. It was a classic Emperor's New Clothes thing where everyone was brainwashed to feel like an idiot if they didn't think it was a good movie.

OK, here's the prestige stuff first. Cate Blanchett. I don't know what the hell you can see here. Is it a nipple, or something else. Oh, well, look at the pretty pictures and make up your own minds.

One more angle on Blanchett

Amanda Ryan in "Elizabeth"