The Dreamers (2003) - HD clips three and four
It was a film from acclaimed Italian director
Bernardo Bertolucci, and it was also chosen by our voters as the best
nude scene of the year.
Review here. It's easy to get excited about high definition videos
and captures from this film! I'll be spreading these out over several
days, because the video files are large.
Here is the
clip (zipped .avi). Eva Green
prepares to have sex with the American kid. The capture below comes from
In the second clip, Eva and the boys examine the bloody
result of her ceremonial cherry-popping. The caps
below come from
Deadly Weapons (1974) - clips three and four
Here's another classic, although for different
reasons. In this case, the movie is so bad that it should be sold in
cheese shops instead of video outlets, but it does feature the unique
talents of one "Chesty" Morgan, she of
the 72 inch natural gazongas. Her chest isn't that sexy, but it
certainly is a curiosity item. Once again, this will be spread out
over several days. Here are the next two installments. (3,
zipped .wmv files this time.)
Game 6 (2005)
I actually wanted to watch this one, but I didn't have time. It was
written by Don DeLillo, who is generally acclaimed by the literati to
be one of the two greatest American writers who are both living and
active (the other would be Philip Roth).
This N.Y. Times article on the best books written since 1980
features no less than three of DeLillo's novels in the Top 25. (Roth
kicked his ass, placing six on the list!) I'm sort of ashamed to say
that I've never read one word Don has written, at least not that I can
recall, but, well, I was a literature major as an undergrad, and I'm
still sorta interested - it's just that I have a life. Sort of.
Anyway, this is his first screenplay. Quite a late bloomer, that lad,
since he was 69 years old when he decided to try out this new-fangled
screenwriting thing. DeLillo's name generated some interest, and I'm
usually drawn to Michael Keaton's projects because he's always
interesting, even when he's in total crap.
Unfortunately, I could
only watch enough to get Bebe Neuwirth's
butt, and move on. The whole thing did look kind of brainy and quirky,
but I just didn't have time. Ol' Lilith is pretty sexy in her own way,
and she used to be a dancer, so she has some great legs, but she is 47
years old, and - well - you know - butts seem to look a lot better on
younger women. No offense, Bebe, you look great for 47, but you are
Date Movie (2006)
Date Movie is to date movies as Scary Movie is to scary movies.
Well, that was the theory.
Scary Movie may not have been a truly
great genre spoof like Airplane or Police Squad or Blazing Saddles,
but it seems like a Marx Brothers classic compared to this thing.
Ouch! The screenwriters got very confused. They seemed to think that
making a reference to another movie, in and of itself, was tantamount
What a disaster! I couldn't even watch it. I'd watch two
minutes, then fast forward, watch another minute, etc. I was
embarrassed for everyone involved, especially for the great Fred
Willard, who sucked just as bad as everyone else. Worse, in fact.
- The British Reviewers assigned an average of 0.7 stars out of
4, with five of the six reviewers scoring it lower than one out of
four. (Three of them scored it one out of five, and the other two
gave it a flat-out zero.)
- Metacritic says the average critical score was 11/100
- Rotten Tomatoes reports that it received only 8% positive
- It is rated 2.7 at IMDb (bottom 100 of all time).
- The Guardian summed it up perfectly: "This is a deeply rubbish
film starring Alyson 'American Pie' Hannigan which attempts to
mimic a whole bunch of successful romantic comedies ranging from
My Big Fat Greek Wedding to Bridget Jones's Diary, the satirical
variant in each case being simply to remove the comedy."
Anyway, Sophie Monk looked pretty
good, but the only nudity is cheapo teaser stuff.
The trailer from
- "Coastlines" is the
upcoming release from director, Victor Nuņez
("Ruby in Paradise," "Ulee's Gold"). Sonny
Mann, (Timothy Olyphant) an ex-con returning
home from prison, creates a new dynamic for
both friends and enemies with his arrival.
The local power broker, Fred Vance (William
Forsythe), wants Sonny back into his shady
world. Sonny only wants money due, as his
long suppressed desire for Ann (Sarah Wynter),
now married to his best friend and local
sheriff Dave Lockhart (Josh Brolin), puts at
risk life's delicate balance of family and
community. Passion and revenge threaten to
overtake all as Sonny's anger careens
dangerously out of control, leading to an
explosive confrontation, and finally to a
Stephen Colbert alert:
Bear enters home, attacks
Judge Rules: Man Is Too
Short for Prison
- "A judge said a
5-foot-1 man convicted of sexually
assaulting a child was too small to
survive in prison, and gave him 10 years of
Another reason to
control your cravings:
"The burglars smashed a
window early Wednesday at a convenience store
and fled with the lottery tickets and some
Little Debbie Coffee Cakes. Officer James
Johnson followed a trail of discarded wrappers
to a nearby apartment building, where he
arrested the trio."
Man allegedly robs a
bank, then reads a magazine in the bank's
- He didn't have much
time to read. The bank is next to the police
- By the way, he had
no weapon, so I'm not clear why the bank
gave him any money to begin with.
returns Dracula's Castle to its owner
- The ceremony, I
take it, will be held at night
Vampire To Protest White
Castle's Garlic Sandwich
- Oh, sure. I believe
this. No chance it could be a White Castle
Liberace and Art Carney -
together at last
Jared Leto "I'm gay as a
- Shouldn't Leto
technically be "gay as a gander"? (Well,
unless he's a cross-dressing lesbian, which
is always a possibility.)
Britney Spears ~ The
Official Site - has some of Britney's poetry.
Good stuff, and I love the illustrations.
How Pat Robertson Leg
Pressed 2,000 Pounds.
Turns out Pat is a piker. His trainer/doctor
can leg-press 2700 pounds.
Planning an auto trip?
Find out how much your gas will cost.
- It would have cost
me $551 to drive round-trip to Billings,
Montana, so I changed my holiday weekend
plans. I decided to sleep in and maybe watch
some Stooges. I don't know anybody in
Kate Moss goes nuts on
From our department of
"You don't know Shat" ...
William Shatner on The
" ... 17-year marriage to
an heiress was nullified when the wife
discovered her husband was a woman"
- Whoa! And I thought
Katie Holmes was slow.
"Now that he's lost his
radio job, David Lee Roth is seeking gainful
employment in another capacity -- as lead
singer of Van Halen. Again."
A genital reminder: "Talk
about a strict violation of the penal code."
German hotelier's rates
based on a sliding scale - literally - the
more you weigh, the more you pay
Totally bizarre, but
"A sex theme park
designed to enhance its visitors' lovemaking
skills will open in the heart of London within
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Side Effects (2005)
Side Effects is an Independent film made on a shoestring budget that
attempts to make a documentary about the ethics of drug marketing but couch
it within a romantic comedy. First time director Kathleen Slattery-Moschkau
certainly knows her subject, as she worked for ten years as a pharmaceutical
company rep. The theory is that these reps provide a service akin to
political lobbyists but for doctors, educating them on the use of
medications. The truth of the matter is that they actually have no
scientific or medical background, and are there to do one thing only. They
must get doctors to prescribe more and more of their products. Doctor
prescription info is available to the drug companies for every territory,
and drug reps are evaluated and compensated based on sales figures in their
territory. To achieve these ends, they memorize sales pitches furnished them
by the company, and offer no end of gifts and favors, including food,
dinners, free samples, and branded gifts to doctors and staff.
Katherine Heigl was a good choice for the lead in this film. She is
recruited out of college with her political science degree by a drug company
recruiter based on her looks and personality. In fact, these drug reps all
look like Ken and Barbie, and all drive new cars. I see them in all the good
spots in front of the medical clinic I use. The reason for the new cars is
that they are company furnished.
In this film, Katherine is not doing real well, then several things
happen. She meets a guy who is quitting the industry because he finds it
corrupt, and has saved enough money to stop working and build his own home.
They have a developing relationship, and knowing him gives her the courage
to leave what she has come to regard as a morally questionable job. However,
financial concerns won't let her just quit immediately, so she decides to
leave in 180 days. She also decides to start telling doctors the truth. As
an example, here is one scene, more or less.
Why is your product better that the competition?
Is it cheaper?
No, it is actually a lot more expensive.
Your patients won't shit for a week.
Then why should I prescribe yours?
Because you have the honest truth about it, as opposed to a lot of hype
that may or not be true about the other products.
She suddenly becomes the top rep in the company, starts reaping huge
financial benefits, and is fast-tracked to management. This, of course,
gives her conflicting emotions. Things get even more interesting when she is
made privy to information showing that the new drug awaiting approval may be
killing people, and the company is covering it up.
The film has very important content, but, at least to me, it was not very
effectively delivered. The director makes a valid point that a lot more
people will watch a romantic comedy than a documentary, but the formula
romantic comedy aspect was not enough to carry the film, and the real
message needed much more impact. I would expect that as more people see the
DVD and weigh in, female scores will generally be higher than male ones, as
the director included a lot of girl moments, and the apparent plot of the
story is the choice between career and relationship. Heigl was a rather
likeable main character, so I didn't mind spending time with her, and I am
also critical of the pharmaceutical industry for price gouging, unethical
advertising, and taking all the good parking places at my local medical
clinic. The short documentary included on the DVD claims that there is one
drug rep for every 4 doctors in the US. Companies claim that this doesn't
add to the cost of drugs. They also claim that their media advertising
doesn't affect cost. The DVD includes two commentaries, one related to the
film-making process, and the other focusing on the pharmaceutical industry.
There is also an excerpt from a documentary, and a making-of featurette. One
of the interesting facts brought out in the documentary was that deaths
caused by use of a drug are often not made public because they are protected
trade secrets. Before I started writing this review, I was going to say that
the film failed to make its points effectively, and give it a low mark, but
I have to say the DVD package does, in fact, deliver the message. So, the
romantic comedy gets a very low C- as a by-the-numbers romantic comedy with
a charismatic female lead. The documentary aspect of the film gets a D+, as
the message was somewhat subdued. The entire package rates a C, and is well
worth the watch.
Birthright is a sex education film produced by Columbia University and the
State of Georgia, and is a warning about syphilis. The subject matter includes
not only the subject of syphilis, which was specifically proscribed by the
Hays Code, but also adultery, breast exposure, and actual film of a breach
childbirth (added after production). This clearly could never have gotten a
Hays Code certificate, and later played the drive-in circuit as an
exploitation film. It is a wonder to me that it ever got made at all in 1951,
especially in the south.
Boyce Brown and Marjory Morris are living with her parents and
collaborating on a chicken farm They have one daughter. Starting the chicken
ranch has not been without some difficulty, and Grandma and Grandpa are rather
crotchety. One night after a fight, Brown heads into town to have a few beers
at the local cafe. He is in no shape to drive home, and the waitress takes him
to her place to sober up. Nature takes its course.
Then two things happen, Morris announces that she is pregnant again, and
the waitress, Paula Haygood, discovers that her husband's parting gift to her
was syphilis. As she didn't really know Brown, she couldn't warn him.
Fortunately, the town started a health screening for communicable diseases,
and that process revealed that Brown was infected. What follows is their worry
as to whether or not mother is infected, and/or baby is OK.
This film was part of a Something Weird Video sex-ed film release, which
includes intermission promos for sex education booklets, and another film
called The Wrong Rut, which started as a film about the tragedy of unwanted
pregnancy out of wedlock, but in a very un-Hays like move, gave the film a
happy ending. Sean Penn's father, Leo Penn, played the cad who knocked the
innocent girl up, and Ida Lupino stepped in as director to complete the film
when Elmer Cliften (Assassin of Youth) became ill. This was her first
directing effort. The original release was called Not Wanted. It was later
spiced up with color film of a cesarean childbirth to play the drive-in
exploitation circuit in the early 60's. These films always had outlandish
claims as to what they showed, but would be followed by a "square reel," often
of a Doris Wishman nudist film, to give the people their share of tits and
keep them from tearing the theater apart. For additional profit, they sold
$1.00 sex education booklets at intermission.
I routinely buy everything Something Weird Video releases, but didn't have
high hopes for this one. I ended up watching both films start to finish, as
well as many of the special features. It is a real time capsule, but won't
interest many. I feel they did a very good job with this DVD, but it is not
for everyone. We will call the genre 60s exploitation, and make this a C-.
Victoria Principal's one and only movie nude
scene in The Naked Ape.
Cristina Marsillach in Every Time We Say Goodbye.
In case you have wondered, here's what
Jeanne Tripplehorn looks like today, in Big Love
Pat's comments in yellow...
Researchers at the Institute for Regenerative Medicine at Wake Forest Baptist
Medical Center report that they have successfully grown rabbit penises in the
lab. It's a first step to growing replacement human organs for injured and
disfigured men. They said the rabbit organs worked "like a charm," and
transplant recipients were able to get female rabbits pregnant.
* And you thought a rabbit's FOOT was a lucky charm.
Tuesday in Boston, John Gomes was on trial for murder and apparently got angry
with the judge's rulings, so he started strangling his lawyer in court. Several
police officers had to run over and help.
* They always wanted to help strangle a defense lawyer.
Madonna has a response to church leaders upset by her new concert tour, in which
she's lowered on stage while hanging Christ-like from a huge, mirrored cross as
images of African poverty appear on video screens. She says Jesus would be okay
with it. Madonna told the New York Daily News, "I don't think Jesus would be
mad at me and the message I'm trying to send...Jesus taught that we should love
* And Madonna has
loved thousands of 'em!
* She's sure Jesus would love her concert, if He could get tickets.