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"Tuno negro"

Tuno negro (2001), or Dark Minstrel, is a thriller set in Spanish universities, and has been compared to Scream, and others of the genre. Early tunos were less affluent students who banded together and sang to make a little extra money to pay for their studies. The idle rich found that it was fun, and formed tunos that were really more like social fraternities. The original tunos formed the Tuno Negro to eliminate the false tunos, who were usually bad students, wasting University resources. All of this was hundreds of years ago. Now, either a serial killer is on the loose, or someone has revived the Tuno Negro, as the worst students are being murdered on exam days.

The new Tuno Negro communicates with the person who will be the final victim via Internet chat, and uses mini-cam video to show the crimes and induce fear. It looks like the next victim will be Alex, played by Silke, who has become the contact point for Tuna Negro. Several members of a medical Tuno try to help her, as does a special police investigator, whom she sleeps with. Silke shows breasts, and is seen in bra and panties, and an unidentified woman is shown topless early in the film.

IMDB has this at 4.3 of 10, with most of the negative comments saying it is too much derivative of the US slasher genre. I may be one of the few to enjoy it, although it probably helped that the locations and customs were new to me, which gave the film a certain newness. I also thought they had the gore level about right, and didn't overdo the suspense, making it too exhausting. The surprise ending did, in fact, surprise me. I am fast becoming a Silke fan. and, since she averages two films a year, will probably be doing more of her work. I think this is a solid genre effort, and the proper score is C.

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  • Silke (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)


    Tierra (1996) is written and directed by Julio Medem, who can be compared to David Lynch in that he tackles complex themes and feelings in his own, nearly surrealist fashion. He directed La Ardilla Roja which we covered a few days ago, but this is a far more interesting film. Carmelo Gómez plays Ángel Bengoelxeo, a man who was treated in a mental hospital for multiple personality disorder, but who thinks of himself as just a very complex person with lots of imagination. He speaks with his alter ego, and angel, frequently. He has been hired to rid a small farming community of a woodlice, which are giving the wine made there an earthy flavor. He finds himself drawn both to Angela (the counterpart of his alter ego), played by Emma Suárez, and to a young, wanton and rebellious Mari, played by Silke.

    Just for good measure, he deals with lightening strikes, a wild bore hunt, deaths and suicides. This is a film which speaks on several levels, and nearly defies description, Visually, it is stunning, with amazing scenics of the farm country and equally interesting interiors. More important to us, it features the German/Spanish Silke in two nude scenes, where she shows everything. IMDB readers have this at 7.5 of 10, and it is one of Félix's favorite Spanish films. I am inclined to agree. It is beautifull, yet deep, and will bear many watchings. Yes, it is an art film, but, I think, has enough pure entertainment value to satisfy most people. B.

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  • Silke (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24) 20)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Four Rooms is one of those loosely connected anthologies where four different directors directed the four segments. 0% positive reviews, $4 million at the box  - kinda says it all.

    • Ione Skye, if you didn't know it, is the daughter of the ultimate hippie, the wimpy soft-voiced Donovan - yup, the Mellow Yellow, Catch the Wind guy. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Sammi Davis, of course, is the mother of Sammy Davis Jr (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Insomnia is the new flick with Al Pacino and Mork from Orc. There is nudity, but I don't have a bootleg, so no captures. I actually saw this at a theater! In general, I'm not a great fan of remakes. I like Cameron Crowe, for example, but I don't really see how Vanilla Sky is an improvement over Abre Los Ojos. Insomnia, however, is a terrific movie, and I wrote a lengthy commentary.

    This Insomnia is the 1997 Norwegian flick upon which the new Pacino film is based.


    Other crap:

    • The dumbest things ever said in video games, part 1. How to deal with fists of evil.
    • Latvia wins the Eurovision song contest.  Latvians  want you to know that if you visit Latvia and the door is locked, you'll find the key under the welcome mat at the customs office.  Please clean up after yourself, and turn off the lights when you leave.
    • The Sun, the greatest newspaper in creation except for Weekly World News, presents a handy introduction to topless yoga. In fact, the Sun has declared it topless yoga week, an event I have to rate slightly higher than The Year of the Woman in global significance. As a public service, we are reporting that, in celebration of topless yoga week, all schools and government offices will be closed in the UK this week, and your long distance calls to the UK will be forwarded to Latvia. Enjoy the award-winning songs!
    • More topless yoga
    • R Kelly's famous sex tapes. I guess.


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Courtney Love A full frontal pose, but nipples and pubes are covered up. A great scan if your a fan of the cleaned up Courtney.

    Christina Kruse
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless in #1, bare bum in #2, and see-thru nipple sightings in #3.

    Nathalie Chablat Fully nude side view with breast and partial bum exposure.

    Amanda De Cadenet
    (1, 2)

    The actress/model goes topless and bottomless (rear nudity only) in scenes from "Mascara" (1999).

    Ione Skye
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Also from "Mascara", Ione goes topless in several scenes. This movie doesn't seem to currently be available on VHS or DVD, so kudos to Enigma for the great find.


    Today's "Babe in Bondage" is Roberta Collins in "Women in Cages". She is stripped nekkid and bound to a spinning wheel, then burned with a hot pitch fork.

    Also some more sexy "Babes in Peril" from those old time Detective magazine covers.

    • Roberta Collins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Dectective magazine covers (1, 2, 3)

    Monica Bellucci The gorgeous Italian actress showing off some cleavage on Euro-TV.

    Angela Schmid Topless in scenes from the German movie "Wedding" (1990).

    Sylvia Leifheit
    (1, 2)

    Toplessness from "Der Pfundskerl - Alles für die Katz".

    Nadine Jansen Extremely HUGE breasts on Euro-TV.

    Denise Richards Non-nude, but she still looks pretty darn good.

    Julie Strain
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

    Part 1 of Scorpion's retrospective of the tall, busty B-movie queen. A great variety of scans (topless in 1-7), including a couple with her holding automatic weapons.

    Melissa George Beautiful breast exposure in scenes from the Sci-fi movie "Dark City".

    Laura San Giacomo
    (1, 2, 3)

    Not mude of course, but in these 'caps from the Stephen King mini-series "The Stand", we get to see her very impressive chest partially covered by a bra.

    The Funnies by Number 6
    Twenty-five Things you should have learned by the time you have reached middle age:

    1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
    2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
    3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian; any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
    4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
    6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
    7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
    8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
    9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
    10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
    11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
    12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
    13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
    14. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
    15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
    16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
    17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
    18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
    19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
    20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
    21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
    22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
    23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
    24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
    25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...


    An Australian TV show is letting a hot blonde in tight clothes introduce Bugs Bunny cartoons. Throw in free pizza delivery and that would pretty much be my idea of Heaven, but some idiots are actually upset about it.

    Check it out here for the photo:

    Celeb News