"Eleven Days, Eleven Nights"

Eleven Days, Eleven Nights (1986) is a couples soft core from Joe D'Amato. Think feature length Red Shoes episode. It even has the theme of betrayal which was supposedly the point of Red Shoes, but is in very few of the episodes. The plot borrows heavily from 9 1/2 Weeks, but with a gender reversal. A young construction engineer, due to be married in 11 days, meets Jessica Moore on a ferry in New Orleans, and they do the nasty right on the boat. Seems she is writing an erotic book about 100 affairs, and he is to be number 100, but her publisher keeps pushing her to do more and more outlandish things with him. We have a scene with the two of them cross-dressing in a restaurant, public sex, licking honey off of each other, bringing in other people, bondage, etc.

Moore shows everything, although bush exposure is quick in the film. The trailer, however, has great full frontal. I don't know if there is a more explicit version, or out-takes were used for the trailer. This is a typical Italian production with badly dubbed dialogue, and the original title is Undici giorni, undici notti. IMDB readers have it at 4.4 of 10. The 4/3 transfer is adequate, and there is bio information. This couples erotica was an idea whose time had come, and it was successful enough that it revived D'Amato's sagging career and spawned two sequels. C-.

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  • Jessica Moore (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Stripped to Kill (1987):

    I think this was the first of the eleven zillion Corman Stripsploitation films. It isn't especially good. The little plot and characterization that it has is not that bad at all, but about 2/3 of the running time seems to be actual stripping, and the photography is not especially good, so its major appeal is to lovers of poorly lit strippers in fuzzy focus.

    There are some good things about it. It has kind of an offbeat cast: B.J. without the bear, Mr Roper without Janet and Chrissie ...

    ... and Kay Lenz.

    You know how it is in show biz. Some people get more of a career than they deserve, some get less. Kay probably deserved a little bit better than she got. You might say she is the poor man's Diane Lane, a pretty darned good actress who also just happened to be a sexy woman with a good body. Kay has a very impressive TV resume, but never really got an important part in an acclaimed film. She came very close to stardom. In her first big role, she starred opposite Bill Holden in a film directed by Clint Eastwood. That's big time Hollywood. Later in the 70's she made some interesting films with stars like Lee Marvin and Oliver Reed, and she was always part of "the beautiful people" spotlight because of her marriage to teen idol David Cassidy. Unfortunately, none of her films were really big winners, either as commercial hits or critical successes, and by 1987 she was reduced to doing Corman crap to keep her movie career alive. In this film she played a cop who went undercover as a stripper to catch serial killer of strippers. To her credit, she was sexy in the sexy scenes, and exuded solid cop vibes when she had to in the thriller portion of the entertainment. Unfortunately, she was laboring in a virtual vacuum of a movie.

    But with a few different bounces of the ball, she might have been a star.

    I'll get the rest of these tootsies tomorrow, as soon as I figure out who they are. In the meantime, here's ...


    Female filmmakers:

    One reader noted that I left Amy Heckerling off of the list of top female directors. While she's directed no all-time classics, she has directed some movies that I really enjoy.

    Here is her career output sorted by IMDb rating:

    1. (7.09) - Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
    2. (6.70) - Clueless (1995)
    3. (5.60) - Johnny Dangerously (1984)
    4. (5.50) - Look Who's Talking (1989)
    5. (5.21) - Loser (2000)
    6. (5.20) - European Vacation (1985)
    7. (3.72) - Look Who's Talking Too (1990)

    Pat Reeder also weighed in with the following comments:


    You forgot a few women directors.  Penelope Spheeris did some good stuff, like "Decline of Western Civilization" and "Wayne's World," as well as some major dogs like "Little Rascals" and "Beverly Hillbillies."  Betty Thomas did the respectable "Brady Bunch Movie" and "Private Parts" and the Eddie Murphy remake of "Dr. Dolittle" before crashing and burning with "I Spy."  Penny Marshall hasn't had a hit in a while, but you have to take your hat off to her for "A League of Their Own," "Big" and "Awakenings."  And I would propose that one woman director has, indeed, directed at least TWO masterpieces, although women might not want to claim her. Leni Riefenstahl did both "Triumph of the Will" and "Olympiad."  Sure, they had a lot of Nazi propaganda in them, but the editing, cinematography, etc., were very
    influential and are still astounding to this day.  


    Other crap:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we take the old time machine back 20 years to 1983 and a look at Beverly D'Angelo in the Chevy Chase Vehicle "National Lampoon's Vacation".

    It doesn't seem possible that this movie is 20 years old, because it still cracks me up after all these years.

    Anyway here is her classic scene topless in the shower and Chevy's spoof of the "Psycho" scene.

    Then it's on to Bev's scene with the open pajama top in front of the mirror.

    After I got these done I remembered that I forgot about her topless jump into the swimming pool, but we can do that another day.

    • Beverly D'Angelo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    'Caps and comments by C2000


    The movie is inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's The Fall of the House of Usher, a short story about a visit to his lifelong friend Roderick Usher. During his visit Roderick's twin sister Madeline dies and Poe helps entomb her. However Madeline has been buried alive, manages to escape and kill Roderick. Descendant beings in 1839 with Frederick Usher, son of Roderick and presumably Madeline, murdering Emily Hedgrow, a cousin of Poe, to gain revenge on Poe for his expose of murder and incest that has ruined the Usher family name.

    In the present day, Ethan Poe (Jeremy London) is a writer famous for being a descendant of Edgar Allan Poe. Ethan is continuously tormented by visions of Edgar whom he despises and whose work he mocks. Struggling to complete his latest novel he moves to a small town outside Los Angeles and meets a beautiful young woman, Ann Hedgrow (Katherine Heigl), mourning the death of her mother and hoping to embark on a new life away from town. Ann is a descendant of Emily Hedgrow, who was murdered by Frederick Usher, and distantly related to Ethan. Ann falls in love with Ethan but as her friends and family begin to disappear and a prostitute is found murdered she becomes concerned by his increasingly erratic behaviour and suspects his plans for her maybe sinister.

    The story is good despite constant quotes from Poe's earlier work and presuming some knowledge of "The Fall of the House of Usher". The movie would have worked much better if not for an extraordinarily inept performance by Jeremy London. Ethan had to be sinister and tormented instead he was portrayed as a cocky poser in a bar with very poor chat up lines. Katherine Heigl was very good bringing a degree of depth and mysteriousness to her character. There is a great scene where three potential vultures - Ethan, his manipulative agent Margaret (Margot Hartmann Tenney who co-wrote the story) and Deputy Burns - each with a different agenda prey on Ann. The film fails to develop the tension; certain characters are identified earlier than necessary, making the ending predictable.

    Nudity is very disappointing with just a quick flash from an unknown in a bar. Not even the hooker gets naked. Nice bra shots of Katherine Heigl in a sex scene. Whitney Dylan is in lingerie and may have a bigger chest than Heigl.


    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    Lots of sex appeal, but no nudity, by Meilani Paul in Submerged.

    Moving to Europe, we have the German film Honolulu. The film is a series of short stories based around a bus trip. Names weren't always used nor were they in the credits. However, I think I have identified the actresses correctly.

    Brief frontal nudity by Chiara Schoras, topless views of Julia Hummer and Shira Fleischer, and sex appeal by Mina Tander, Eva Haßmann and Isabella Parkinson.

    "The Insatiable Mrs Kirsch"
    From the interesting series of short movies, Erotic Tales, we have The Insatiable Mrs Kirsch. There's nice topless shots of Hetty Baynes.

    • Hetty Baynes (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Continuing the Erotic Tales, there is Powers, made in the Czech Republic. Plenty of nudity by Zurzana Berkyová and Zuzana Sulajová. Just a bit of cleavage by Nela Boudová.

    "She Fought Alone"
    Tiffani-Amber Thiessen usually manages to keep the goodies hidden and She Fought Alone is no different. We only get some pokies from her silicone-enhanced boobs.

    • Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (1, 2)

    "The Playboys"
    It's a similar story with Robin Wright in The Playboys, where she takes off her outer clothing after a rain storm.

    • Robin Wright (1, 2)

    Some brief nipple sighting by Ana Torrent in the Euro film Yoyes.

    Likewise, we have the briefest glimpse of Heather Morgan in Bark!

    "Bear's Kiss"
    Continuing the trilogy, we have Rebecka Liljeberg in Bear's Kiss.

    "America's Sweetheart"
    We catch Catherine Zeta-Jones getting dressed in the predictable and sappy America's Sweetheart.

    "The Bramble Bush"
    The same again for Angie Dickinson in The Bramble Bush.

    • Angie Dickinson (1, 2)

    "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch"
    Lots and lots of leg by Kathy Ireland from an episode of Sabrina, The Teenage Witch.

    • Kathy Ireland (1, 2)

    "The Van"
    The Van is about the van culture of the 1970s. Lots of naked women including Connie Lisa Marie, Marcie Barkin, Cherise Wilson, Deborah White and Janie Mudrick and some unknowns. The only brief full frontal nudity comes from an unknown. By a process of elimination it could be Lilyan McBride called Bertha in the credits. If it is an adjective it fits (see caps 2 an 3) but I didn't hear anybody named that in the movie. Other credits in the IMDB indicate that she is an older woman.

    "The Origin of the Species"
    No nudity to speak of in The Origin of the Species, just nice caps of Jean Louisa Kelly, Sybil Temchen and Amanda Peet, with some mild pokies by Amanda.