"Cruel Intentions 2" (2000)
Cruel Intentions 2 (2000) is actually the first attempt to make money from the plot line. It was conceived as a sitcom, and a pilot was shot. Small problem -- the strength of Cruel Intentions is that all of the successful characters are incredibly evil and cruel. We all know that won't work for a sitcom. Even Colonel Klink was lovable in his own way, and the North Koreans that appeared in M*A*S*H from time to time were usually loveable. People won't watch (or even pick up) a sitcom with nobody to like. With all of the edge gone from the script, what was left was a bunch of "nice" cruel
people. With no buyers in sight, they wrote the script for Cruel Intentions leaving the main characters deliciously evil. Made for $11m, US gross alone was $38m, making it a modest success. I enjoyed this film.
Figuring they were on a roll, they decided to convert the original pilot into a prequel. They added footage to up the language and general sexiness, and added a topless shower scene casting sisters Alicia and Annie Sorell in what proved to be career ending roles. People who hated the pretentiousness and incredible cruelty of the main characters in Cruel Intentions probably liked the "Cruel Lite" brewed for Cruel Intentions 2, but people who enjoyed the original (I am one of those) found nothing appealing here. Indeed, they were unable to get distribution for a theatrical release, and went direct to vid. If the genre is failed TV pilots, I will give it a C.
The Sorell Twins
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
I got ambitious and watched the complete season 2 of Sex and the City, all 18 episodes. Unfortunately, Cynthia Nixon and an anonymous extra provided almost 100% of the true nudity, except for a fast-cut decapitated shot of Cattrall in the first episode. Kristin Davis, who is just as cute as can be, came really close in a top which was nearly transparent. I enjoyed the show, and got into the characters even though I had not previously seen so much as a minute of it! It isn't hilarious, and it isn't great drama, but it is the kind of humor that produces a lot of smiles of recognition because it uses a light touch to expose the truth about relationships. Whether the material is lightweight or heavyweight, I generally like anything which tells the truth through interesting characters, and without any contrivance. I see why the show is popular with people of both sexes. Now let's get less Nixon nudity and more Davis. (Friggin' Parker has a no-nudity clause in her contract. I know she's cute and perky, but why did they someone to star in a sex show and then give her a no-nudity clause.)
Cynthia Nixon, topless in episode 2
Cynthia Nixon, topless in episode 4
Cynthia Nixon, topless in episode 13
Cynthia Nixon, topless in episode 15
Kristin Davis, in a VERY transparent top, episode 16
Kim Cattrall topless in episode 1 (very blurry, no face)
Kim Cattrall, not much visible in a lacy top
Parker, some hint of transparency, but mostly pokies, episode 7
Parker, some hint of transparency, but mostly pokies, episode 9
Parker, pokies, episode 16
Some other chick, breasts in the steam room, episode 6
Michelle Johnson, topless and full frontal nudity in "Blame It on Rio" (1984).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
||Plenty of cleavage in scenes from the the short lived TV series "Booker", starring Richard Grieco. Not to be confused with the much higher quality television show, "T.J. Hooker". I know, the titles sound similar, but that's about as good as anything with Richard Grieco gets.
|Bo nekkid. She shows pubes in #1 and goes full frontal in #2.
Bo has made some of the worst pieces of garbage ever filmed! "Ghosts Can't Do It" (1991) is one of those horrible movies. Zorba the Greek plays Bo's dead hubbie, as Bo searches the globe looking for the perfect male body to host Zorba's spirit. No, really...that's the plot!
Another excellent batch of supersized 'caps.
|Jennifer Jason Leigh
|4 topless frames from "Single White Female". Links #1 and 2 are JJL before her transformation. In links #3 and 4, she's in full Bridget Fonda mode.
||This brief topless scene was by far the best thing about "The Beach". Although some of the folks I know may argue that the giant marijuana plants were the best part of the movie.
|All three going topless in love scenes from "If These Walls Could Talk 2".
||The only nudity in the Bruce Willis action classic, "Die Hard" (1988). Very brief breast exposure as Cheryl is grabbed by the terrorists. But of course Scoop knows her best from her role as 'Well-Endowed Wife' in "Road House" (1989).
||The only nude scene from another one of my all time favorite movies, "Weird Science" (1985). Coincidentally, Kym also played a hostage in "Die Hard", and was cast a 'Party Girl' in "Road House".
||Breast and bum sightings from an episode of "Red Show Diaries".
||Going all the way back to 1970! Topless scene from the movie "The Animals".
||All 3 B's in scenes from "Lady In Waiting" (1994). There are plenty of images of her breasts and several frames of full frontal nudity, but only one look at her bum.
|Juliane Koehler and Maria Schrader
||Hot lesbo lovin' from "Aimée & Jaguar" (1999). This is a German film about two women in love, living in Berlin during World War II.
||Topless in "Flesh and Bone" (1993).
||Playing a stripper that really should keep her clothes on in scenes from "Heatwave" (1982).
||Original eyebrows, and an earlier set of implants from "Snapdragon" (1993).
||A brief topless scene from "Let the Devil Wear Black" (1999).
||Very nice topless scene in her only IMDb credit, "Crackerjack" (1994).
More SI Swimsuit babes....
| and ...
|Not the greatest nudity ever, but she is a pretty good sized celeb and not many celebs in their 40's give up the goods, so I guess she's worthy. Here are some see-thru's with moderate to high nipple visibility. Link #2 is the big winner. Thanks to DaRed.
|I'm not a big fan, but for those who are, I think you'll enjoy the cleavage. Looks like Leelee's sporting a wonderbra or something. I don't recall her breasts looking this large before. Both of these are the same picture, #1 is a smaller version.
||Very nice and very wet breast and bum views from "Die Heimlichen Blicke des Mörders" (2001), by Primal.
||Continuing the aquatic theme with these breast and bum 'caps also from "Die Heimlichen Blicke des Mörders", by Primal.
|The Funnies by Number 6
So this union guy goes to a brothel...
A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"
"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."
"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."
Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.
His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madame responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house."
The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."
"That's more like it!" the UPS man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the night."
"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madame, then, gesturing to an obese fifty-five year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."
So this guy gets on a plane....
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the thickest in average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He cooly replies, "Tonto Kowalski. Nice to meet you."
You might be a redneck Jedi if...
1.) Your Jedi robe is a camouflage.
2.) The letters "WWF" appear on your Jedi robe.
3.) Your Jedi robe features the logos of brand name auto parts.
4.) You use your lightsaber to open a non-twist-off bottle of Bud.
5.) There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
6.) At least one section of your X-Wing has been fixed with Bondo.
7.) Your X-wing is Primer Gray.
8.) Your landspeeder has a blower coming through the hood.
9.) You have ever used the phrase "Ewoks is good eatin'".
10.) You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
11.) You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
11.) You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
12.) Your master/mentor ever said "Hey, pull my finger..."
13.) Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.
14.) The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
15.) Wookies are offended by your B.O.
16.) You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
17.) You use your lightsaber to clean fish.
18.) Your father said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."
19.) You use your R-2 unit's self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
20.) Your R-2 unit has been jury-rigged to make moonshine.
21.) Your R-2 unit can print lotto tickets.
22.) You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.
23.) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
24.) You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.
25.) More than half the droids you own don't function.
26.) The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
27.) You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.
28.) You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it limits access to the can of Copenhagen in your back pocket.
29.) You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI. (normal rednecks try this all the time and always fail)
30.) You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber.
31.) You have at least 4 Ewoks sleeping on your porch.
32.) You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
33.) You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
34.) You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother...