Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madame responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the UPS man said. He looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the night."

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madame, then, gesturing to an obese fifty-five year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority."

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.

He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average penis and Polish men have the thickest in average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"

He cooly replies, "Tonto Kowalski. Nice to meet you."

1.) Your Jedi robe is a camouflage.
2.) The letters "WWF" appear on your Jedi robe.
3.) Your Jedi robe features the logos of brand name auto parts.
4.) You use your lightsaber to open a non-twist-off bottle of Bud.
5.) There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
6.) At least one section of your X-Wing has been fixed with Bondo.
7.) Your X-wing is Primer Gray.
8.) Your landspeeder has a blower coming through the hood.
9.) You have ever used the phrase "Ewoks is good eatin'".
10.) You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
11.) You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.
11.) You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.
12.) Your master/mentor ever said "Hey, pull my finger..."
13.) Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.
14.) The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
15.) Wookies are offended by your B.O.
16.) You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
17.) You use your lightsaber to clean fish.
18.) Your father said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."
19.) You use your R-2 unit's self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
20.) Your R-2 unit has been jury-rigged to make moonshine.
21.) Your R-2 unit can print lotto tickets.
22.) You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.
23.) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.
24.) You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.
25.) More than half the droids you own don't function.
26.) The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.
27.) You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.
28.) You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it limits access to the can of Copenhagen in your back pocket.
29.) You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI. (normal rednecks try this all the time and always fail)
30.) You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber.
31.) You have at least 4 Ewoks sleeping on your porch.
32.) You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.
33.) You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.
34.) You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother...