The Delinquents (1989)

From about 1987 to 1992, Australian Kylie Minogue was about the hottest figure on the pop charts of several countries. She had her greatest successes in Australia, New Zealand, Japan, and the UK, but she also had some hits in North American and Europe. For an incredibly detailed account of her successes, you can go to her IMDb  bio and look under the rubric of "trivia." The Delinquents was a movie specifically tailored for her, to showcase her looks and abilities and to initiate her movie career. (She had starred in Australian soap operas before she made it big as a singer.)

I started out to write that it is a coming-of-age story about Australian teens in the 50s, but that isn't quite right. It isn't really a personal story from a single P.O.V, as one would expect in a coming-of-age tale, but rather a manufactured soap opera of a love story which happens to focus on two very young teens. They are two good kids from troubled working-class homes who find each other, take refuge in each other, and form a lifelong bond. They just want to be left alone to start their life together, and they're willing to do whatever is necessary to pay the bills. Unfortunately, their families and the legal authorities don't see their situation in quite the same light since the kids are only 15 years old, and the girl gets pregnant. Society conspires constantly to punish them for simply wanting to be together. Their struggle is filled with heartbreak, and their road to adulthood is blocked by many detours. There are, as you might expect, many references to Romeo and Juliet in the script, but this version of the classic tale does eventually progress to a feel-good multi-hankie ending.

The film was targeted directly at Kylie's audience(s): the young teens and tweens who bought her music, and the women of all ages who followed her soap opera career. The Delinquents is firmly into chick-flick territory with a 1.8 point male/female differential at IMDb (6.6 from females, 4.8 from males), and within the female group, the enthusiasm declines as the voters get older.

All of that is not to say that it is a bad film. In fact, it has some very strong positives. Here are four:

1. The photography is gorgeous. The cinematographer was Andrew Lesnie, who is absolutely one of the best on the planet. He's been the cinematographer for a few little films you may have heard of, like King Kong and the three Lord of the Rings films! He was won every award that a cinematographer can win, including an Oscar.

2. The soundtrack is great if you like vintage 1950s do-wop rock (I do!). There are several recordings by the original artists and even a Kylie Minogue cover of Tears on my Pillow. In addition to the familiar rock 'n roll standards, there is a lush and romantic original orchestral score by Miles Goodman.

3. The period details are fun to absorb. In many ways, small-town Australia in the 1950s was like the equivalent life in the USA. In other ways, it was very different. I was fascinated by the sight of dozens of hard-nosed blue collar guys riding their bikes to work en masse. In another scene, I thought I had pegged the familiar sight of streetcar tracks running through the town - until a full-fledged steam locomotive came barreling through downtown pulling a full load of freight through the High Street. I have never seen anything like that in North America - or anywhere else, for that matter. It is only through films like this that an American may share such unique memories of a forgotten time in a foreign place.

4. Kylie herself did a surprisingly good job in the role, looked great, and even did a brief topless scene.


Kylie Minogue


The DVD is Region 4 PAL, but is available through an American importer. It includes a very nice widescreen anamorphic  transfer of the film and a couple of "making of" featurettes which feature the actors, the director, and the composer.

I found it a solid DVD of a very watchable girly movie. Click on the pic below for info from the American importer.


The Delinquents DVD Kylie Minogue Widescreen (1989)

The importer also sells DVD players which can play films from every region. Click below for info.

Ritech Progressive Scan Region Free DVD Player



The Garden (1977)

Israeli movie. "An old man tends his garden under the threat of encroaching urbanization. In wanders a beautiful tourist, dazed and naked after a sexual assault, and he mistakes her for an angel." I haven't seen it, and it looks awful, but I'm definitely down for seeing a 19 year old Melanie Griffith do a full-frontal nude scene! (Zipped .avi)


Other Crap:

A recent Entertainment Weekly article got us to thinking about how a more analytical approach could be applied to determine "The worst movie sequel of all time"

Before you click, make the call: real or spoof? Iraq loves Lionel Richie

Lost actress Michelle Rodriguez headed back to jail again

Dita von Teese in "L'uomo Vogue"

Playboy's "Women of My Space"

Sen. John Kerry is on the fence on the fence.

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Do the five characters in Scooby-Doo represent five Eastern colleges?

Pump malfunction temporarily slashes gas price to 29 cents

Madonna crucifies herself

  • The tough part is driving the nails into the second hand.

Albino spokesman says DaVinci is the 68th movie since 1960 to feature an evil albino, placing albinos in the axis of movie evil with twins and dwarves.

  • The great thing about evil albinos is their versatility. While evil twins are almost always real characters in a film and evil dwarves are almost always found in symbolic or dream sequences, albinos can switch hit! They are the Mickey Mantle of evil movie characters.

Sarah Silverman discusses her movie, her charity endevors and making the top 100 hottest people in America by some magazine.

This Week in Unnecessary Censorship: May 19th, 2006

Paul McCartney Mourns Loss of Handicapped Parking Sticker

FilmJerk.com - The Early Report for May 22

Baltimore Police Update: Man arrested for calling 911


  • “Using the vast resources of The Weather Channel, including the Doppler 8000, and my personal forecasts as told to me by God, we’ll have unprecedented accuracy on where storms will hit, and which sections of the nation with the most sinners will suffer tremendously”

CATHOLICS EXCOMMUNICATED FOR SEEING DA VINCI CODE ... Critics decry hypocrisy after record opening of film in Vatican City


  • LAPD reports sharp drop in child pornography, prostitute killing as film executives, agents head to France


  • At a top-level summit called “Defeat: 2006,” the DNC chief expressed his determination to uphold the Democrat's losing tradition.

President George W. Bush said today that the Guantanamo facility should remain open but that the United Nations should be closed."

Weekly World News: "SPAM WINS PULITZER! ... Prize committee honors poetic power of junk e-mail"

David Spade and Heather Locklear have split

  • Wow. If such an ideal couple can't even make it a few weeks, what chance is there for any of us in this crazy world?

Cannes report: Final "X-Men" has lost its X-factor

Cannes update: Almodovar's "Volver" richly entertaining

Cannes Update: Richard Kelly's Southland Tales turns out to be a monumental stinker

Last night's Desperate Housewives is now online in its entirety.


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Carrer Bed (1972)

Career Bed is a grindhouse classic featuring two future porn superstars, Jennifer Wells and Georgina Spelvin. Honey Hunter is the stage mother from hell, bringing daughter Jennifer Wells to the Big Apple to become a movie star. She plans to trade her daughter's virginity for a film contract, and is not above using her own body whenever and wherever it will help. Jennifer was more than cute enough to land lesbian agent Georgina Spelvin, and eventually attracted a man rich and powerful enough to put her in movies. That is when Jennifer proved that she had some moves of her own.

There is no score at IMDb. By 1972, it was the beginning of the end for this sort of movie. Hard core 8 mm loops were widely available by then, and Deep Throat came out in 1972. As you know, hard core is what killed exploitation and 70s style soft core films. There is a certain attitude in this film that was only found in the East Coast soft core. For example, when Honey Hunter has sex with Jennifer's boyfriend so Jennifer will catch and dump him, you see him humping away from behind while she smokes a cigarette with a bored look on her face. As far as story, acting and technical merit, there is nearly none. However, it is a snapshot of a long gone era, an early look at two porn superstars, and a real boobfest.

Compared to other films in its class, it is the valedictorian, hence a C+.


Georgina Spelvin

Jennifer Wells

Honey Hunter










Today we look at a really bad horror movie, "The Witch's Sabbath".  

Christine Cowden is the most attractive in the movie ( no nudity, but she looks sexy in her bra.)

Syn DeVil with robo-hooters.

Annmarie Lynn Gracey (no nudity, but she is a "Babe in Bondage").

Porn star Lisa Sparxxx shows off the ultra robo-hooters.

Lisa Sparxxx & Syn DeVil compare their assets.





“Wu Ji” a.k.a. “The Promise” is a 2005 action/fantasy Hong Kong film directed by Chen Kaige. I’d say it belongs in the “crouching tiger hidden dragon” genre. They seem to have developed a formula for this kind of thing: A love story, colorful costumes, exotic locations, sword battles done Matrix-style, heroes jumping up trees and houses, and some magic: throw them all in the mix and see what the result is.

This time it is so-so. The characters look a bit naïve, the story is ok but unfolds too slowly, the battle scenes could be better and some of the CG special effects look very cheap. On the other hand, the main actors are good-looking, the atmosphere is dreamy and there are some tragedy elements that make you care for the hero’s plight. All in all not a bad film, but after having watched it, I don’t think I’ll go back to it again.

There is essentially no nudity.

Cecilia Cheung






Kirsten Dunst again. Kiki is adorable, as usual, but it's just a bikini shop this time.

Gail Lawrence in Maniac



Pat's comments in yellow...

Despite lousy reviews and church leaders urging a boycott, "The DaVinci Code" made $224 million worldwide, the second-biggest debut weekend after the last "Star Wars" sequel.

*  Some called it an abomination that slandered their most sacred idol ...  but enough about the "Star Wars" sequels.

Two-thirds of Saudi women are too fat under their robes, but any attempts to encourage them to exercise, even letting them walk in public, are being stymied by Islamic fundamentalists.  One even wrote a pamphlet opposing efforts to allow girls' P.E. classes in schools. It claims that disrobing outside the home is immoral and might make girls lose their shyness, and if the girls see each other in tight leotards, they might become attracted to each other.

*  Just wondering: how does anyone KNOW how fat they are under their robes?

Kirstie Alley, who ballooned to over 300 pounds before becoming a Jenny Craig spokeswoman, says her goal is to appear on her pal Oprah Winfrey's show this November in a bikini.  But she says she still has another 20 pounds to lose to reach her target weight.

*  ... 280.

*  Three things I never want to hear in the same sentence: "Kirstie Alley,"
"Oprah" and "bikini."