Pola X (1999) -- French film maker Leos Carax took a novel by Herman Mellville so bad that nobody had bothered to publish it, Pierre, or the Ambiguities, wrote 9 presumably even worse screen plays, then turned the tenth version into this masterpiece. The title is the acronym for the French title of the novel, followed by the script version.
Melville is famous for that great classic about venereal disease that nobody has actually read, Moby Dick, and once you get past that, he was truly demented. He met his match in Carax. A young man of privilege who has published a successful fluff novel under a pseudonym lives in an odd and possibly incestuous relationship with his mother, and is due to marry his cousin. This is the normal part. After dreaming of a woman with dark, unkempt hair fro several nights, he meets the woman, who relates some strange story explaining that she is his half sister. So, of course, there is nothing for it but he must give up everything for her. When he tries to check into a hotel with her, she is refused because of her stench. Presumably, that makes her all the more desirable. They, and a mother/daughter that seem to hang with them but are never quite explained move into a terrorist training camp, where he sets about writing the great French novel. He fails. His rick and privileged girlfriend/cousin moves in with them. Then the sister gets hit by a truck.
We have clear breast exposure from Catherine Deneuve as the mother, a quick nipple from Delphine Chuillot as the cousin, and star Guillaume Depardieu and has real life girlfriend filmed some very dark footage of them doing the nasty that was inserted to be he and the sister having sex. IMDb readers have this at 5.8 of 10. I can't imagine why. Not only is the story completely unmotivated and ridiculous, but the film was technically a mess as well. Ebert apologized for a prejudice in favor of insanity, and awarded three stars. This is a E-. If you decide to see it anyway, don't say I didn't warn you.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
Balloon Bazooka - the Ultimate Water Balloon Launcher
Open Call Auditions
- "True Passion. Honest emotions. Real talent. These are a few
of the things you won't find in this movie about several actors
auditioning for a role in a local stage production."
- URL says it all except "why" -
More than 100 fan films about Star Wars
Check out the new Louis XIV video for the song Paper Dolls from
their 2005 Album, The Best Little Secrets are Kept.
(lots o' nudity)
Japanese Hygienic Nightingale Droppings, the ultimate
Modern Drunkard Magazine Online - Jackie Gleason
Guess Which Movie
The Official Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Film Site has been
It's May 20th - Happy Birthday, Cher. She was born May
20, 1946. By my calculations, that leaves her just 49 years short
of 4000 . (Obviously it was 1946 B.C.)
'Sith' Destroys Best Opening Day and Best Single Day Records!
- It pulled in $50 million on opening day. The previous record
for best opening day was $40 million (Spiderman 2). The previous
record for highest day of any kind was $44.7 million (Shrek 2).
- The other 9 films in the Top 10 grossed four million added
This week's quotables from Late Night with Conan O'Brien
- "Ozzie Osbourne claims that living in England is too
expensive and that it cost him over $100 to fill up his car with
gas. The someone explained to Ozzie that he should put the
nozzle in the gas tank, not the window."
After 50 years, the dream of discovery is still alive in Cannes.
(A bikini-clad Brigitte Bardot was discovered at a beach in Cannes
- You're in luck. You still have a chance to attend the
All-Atheist Weekend in San Francisco. The opening
ceremony this year will take place, ironically, in a foxhole. I
volunteered to offer the prayer for that ceremony, but they turned
- Weekly World News:
MOST CHURCH-GOING GUYS ARE PRAYING FOR HOT SEX
- In a major survey of men who regularly attend church, 94.7
percent of them admit that during the service they are
completely preoccupied with thoughts of Salma Hayek nude!
" ... the greatest beams, lasers, death rays and photon streams in
Caring for your pet hippopotamus
- It's Godwin Day for America's Conservatives!
Robert Novak compared an offer by Senate Democrats to avert a ban
on the use of judicial filibusters with 'going to a concentration
camp and picking out which people go to the death chamber.
Wacky Sen. Rick Santorum is at it again - comparing Democrats
attempts to keep the filibuster to Hitler's moves in 1942.
Yeah, it's a pretty clear parallel, as you'll see if you read his
coldly logical, closely reasoned comments.
The trailer for Kids in America
- : "Kids In America is a reality-based dramedy about the
experiences of young people in modern-day America. Set in the
fictional Booker High School a diverse group of students are
tired of seeing their freedoms taken away. They band together
and change their world by empowering themselves and their
community to protect freedoms of expression and speech."
Here's the trailer from the indie drama Into the Fire
- Intense drama, as you can see from thes ephrases:. "The New
York City Harbor Patrol ... a jumbo jet crashes on final
approach into Kennedy ... our hero's tragic past seeps through
his soul ..."
The trailer for the documentary, My Date With Drew.
(Quite an amusing trailer!)
- "'My Date With Drew' was shot entirely for $1,100 that Brian
Herzlinger won on a game show. The production used a camera
purchased on credit from Circuit City, and then returned under
the store's 30-day refund policy. On his journey to woo Drew
Barrymore, Herzlinger consults a psychic for love advice, hires
a Drew look-alike to practice his date etiquette and crashes the
world premiere of 'Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle' simply to
steal a glance at his dream girl. Supporting Herzlinger's quest
with anecdotes and advice are several Hollywood insiders who
appear as themselves including Eric Roberts, Corey Feldman and
'Charlie's Angels' screenwriter John August."
Watch the first five minutes of The League of Gentlemen's
Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Your Car Has To Be Recalled"
- Dealer brags, "This is the car Stephen King owned when he
Queens of the Stone Age finally find the one component they were
missing for breakthrough success - more cowbell.
The Filthy Critic's nephew finally makes it to the theater, but
still has not seen Sith
Tom Cruise says he doesn't care what people think of his
relationship with Katie Holmes. The microscopic star
went on to point out that the same holds true for any relationship
he may or may not have with slugging catcher Mike Piazza.
Naomi Campbell failed to show up at a charity event she organised
in Cannes because "her stylist disappeared with her
clothes." The supermodel had invited about 50 guests for lunch and
a live auction at the French resort's VIP Club to raise money for
Nelson Mandela's Children's Foundation. When Campbell didn't turn
up the event was abandoned.
Katie to star opposite Tom in MI3?
Famous people who died in aviation accidents
The Lady from Sockhom - the world's first all sock puppet film
Why Google Scares Bill Gates (Fortune Magazine)
Porn star Mary Carey to Dine with President Bush (I'm
assuming that "with" is the correct preposition in this case.)
Eminem makes a lesbian sex puppet video featuring Mary-Kate and
Ashley Olsen. This will rank as the third-best
all-wooden sex scene in the past year, following Team America and
A fake prehistoric rock, featuring art of a caveman with a
shopping trolley, lasted three days in the British Museum
The hoax was the work of the legendary Banksy the prankster. He
must be the same guy who planted those fake WMD reports on Bush's
Paris Hilton Hack Started With Old-Fashioned Con ...
Source Says Hacker Posed as T-Mobile Employee to Get Access to
- Ya gotta love The Sun ...
Saddam in his underpants.
After five months in theaters, Million Dollar Baby finally crawls
over the $100 million mark. The record for the slowest
path to $100 million is held by another Eastwood film, Unforgiven,
which took more than ten months.
Erectile Dysfunction, Viagra, and God's Will
Scott McClellan Directs Newsweek Magazine to Cease and Desist
Infringing President Bush's Patent for the Mass Enragement of
Muslamian Religious Wackos - (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Dishes at the Espitas restaurant in Dresden include maggot ice
cream, maggot salads and maggot cocktails.
Vodka Luge Ice Carving. 'Drinking's never been so much
fun'. Also check out the male and female luges.
- A site dedicated entirely to
dogshit in Amsterdam. No catshit in Amsterdam. No
dogshit in The Hague or Rotterdam. Just dogshit in Amsterdam.
The Worst of Budapest
Welcome To The Club 33 Tour Page! "If you are here, it
is probably because you are not a Club 33 Member or have never
been lucky enough to visit this exclusive private club in
Jennifer Connelly in Dark Water. Yes, that describes
the picture, and also reflects the name of the movie.
NJ Theater Plays Sith in Chinese. When contacted for an
explanation, the theater owner replied, "Hey, Chinese dis (grabs
crotch)! You want yer fokkin Chinese? I got it right here for ya
Topher Grace has been signed for Spider Man 3, although
nobody seems to know why.
The famous Wendy's finger was used as repayment of a debt.
Conan O'Brien welcomes back his former sidekick Andy Richter to
look far into the future - all the way to the year 2000.
- "There will be yet another spin-off of 'The Apprentice.'
This time featuring O.J. Simpson and his signature catch phrase,
A rare display of the Northern Lights as far south as Iowa.
I guess that would technically make them the Midwestern Lights.
Here's the trailer for The Island, July's big budget
sci-fi actioner with Obi-Wan and Scarlett Johansson.
Liz Hurley makes a dramatic comeback from retirement.
Damn, she's been gone so long I had almost forgotten her. Those of
you old enough to remember her will dimly recall that she once
retired to spend more time with her son. Of course, she only
stayed retired for twenty days, but it was quality time, and what
a glorious score of child-rearing days it was!
Judge bars Larry King from testifying for Jackson. I
don't know if that is the correct legal decision, but you have to
admire the man's good taste.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Flick" (1970) aka "Dr. Frankenstein on Campus"
Grade-F drugsploitation that not only managed
to get government funding but was mostly shot
on the campus of the University of Toronto.
Hippie students protesting computers of all things
makes this hopelessly dated.
Somewhat dated trucker movie starring Jerry Reed and Peter Fonda.
"Secrets of a Married Man" (1984)
PG-rated drama about adultery starring William Shatner
so it means a lot of hookers in Victoria's Secret
underwear and a shirtless Captain Kirk.
"Do or Die" (2003)
Grade-D science fiction and the last movie
by Guylaine St. Onge who died of cervical cancer recently.
Grade-D science fiction starring Sean Connery with exposure
by most of the female cast.
One of the "apathetics" with big boobs goes nympho
near the end and shows her breasts in sex scene.
She is most likely no-name actress
Jessica Swift but could be Bairbre Dowling
who later became Mrs. Miles O'Brien of Star Trek fame.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"A Different Loyalty"
Interesting if somewhat draggy in spots, this 2004 spy story features Sharon Stone a U.S. war correspondent during the Beirut conflict of 1963, prior to the breakup of the Soviet Union. She meets a fellow correspondent from Britain, and falls in love.
They return to Britain, then suddenly he disappears. Soon after, the CIA shows up to announce that he is a spy for the KGB.
Her search for her husband brings her to the Soviet Union, where their love and loyalty are put to the supreme test.
As I said, an interesting movie that suffers slightly from slow pacing, but is worthwhile nevertheless.
||Toplessness and also showing a little bush in scenes from the 1987 flick, "Iron Warrior".
||Serious see-thru views as well as an exposed breast in more scenes from "Iron Warrior".
||The long-time star of German cinema going topless in scenes from "Das Geheimnis des gelben Geparden" (1990).
||The French Canadian actress going topless and showing some pubes during a love scene from an episode of the made for cable series, "The Hunger".
||The always sexy Gershon baring a breast in scenes from the indie film, "This World, Then the Fireworks" (1997).
||Dancing around topless in another scene from the Billy Zane movie, "This World, Then the Fireworks".
|Mary Beth Rubens
||The Canadian actress going topless in scenes from the early 80's flick "Firebird 2015 A.D.".
|The French-Canadian actress gives a triple B performance in "La Turbulence des fluides" (2002).
||Here she is in the much talked about commercial. Paris is wearing a bikini, covered in suds and fondling both a car and a Carl's Jr. hamburger.
|Vejiita 'caps of the French actress baring all 3 B's in scenes from her one and only film credit, "Fragile" (2003).
|Yet another look at Mia's full frontalness from last week's episode of "The L Word". 'Caps by the Skin-man.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
UNIVERSITY OFFERS CLASS ON PORN
Requirement For Advertising Majors - The University of Iowa angered
conservative legislators by offering a course on pornography in pop
culture. The class is full and there's a waiting list, but the teacher,
grad student Jay Clarkson, said students who expect to be titillated will
be disappointed. He said, "It's not a class about enjoying or viewing
pornography." They'll examine how porn moved from adult bookstores to
mainstream advertising, read analyses by critics, and not even view porn in
Unless you want extra credit.
Sure, they will: they'll have it hidden inside their textbooks, like in
all the other classes.
This sounds more like a lesson in false advertising.
The class where you do nothing but look at porn is open only to guys on
BART SIMPSON ELECTED MAYOR
She Beat Mayor Quimby - Tuesday, Nancy Cartwright, who provides the voice
of Bart Simpson, was elected mayor of Northridge, a Los Angeles suburb.
Ironically, she ran on a platform of clamping down on out-of-control punk
kids. She said she lives in a nice neighborhood, but down the street,
there's "drugs, gangs, stealing and illiteracy."
The gangs are led by Jimbo and Nelson.
She would've run for governor, but she's an underachiever and proud of
|A quick site note
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