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Updates:
Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
Illicit Behavior (1992)
This film is also known as Criminal Intent
If I tell you that this is a non-theatrical
erotic thriller starring Kent McCord and Robert Davi, you can probably
figure out immediately that it is not likely to be confused with
Branagh's Henry V. It's about what you would expect from the
description. An out-of-control
cop is being investigated by Internal Affairs. The Internal Affairs
guy ends up having an internal affair of his own with the cop's smokin'-hot wife (Joan
Severance). The results ain't pretty.
For the record, here are the positives and negatives, as I see them:
In the plus column:
1. The plot of this film is actually pretty
good. The first half progresses predictably based upon the premise I
described above, but the film then starts to go off in some crazy
directions, and we find out that almost nothing has been what it
seemed to be. Several surprises follow in rapid-fire order, and the
various intrigues and misunderstandings result in more corpses than
the final scene of Hamlet. Although I have seen my share of films, I
did not expect many of the surprises, and I did not find them to be
excessively contrived or illogical, so the storyline was sort of fun
in an over-the-top way. 2. Joan
Severance looks beautiful in this film and showed some skin here and
there. 3. The film is finally on DVD,
13 years after it went to video.
In the minus column:
1. The erotica is sub-par. The nudity
basically consists of fleeting glimpses of isolated body parts in dark
sex scenes. The actual sex scenes don't generate much electricity, as
you might guess from the identity of the male leads.
2. The DVD transfer is uninspired. The colors
are faded and there's a lot of motion blur. It is available in
Region 2 only, PAL format only.
So, based upon your expectations for a
straight-to-video erotic thriller, you'll probably find it to be a
more interesting thriller than you might expect, but also far less
erotic.
The DVD is Region 2, PAL, from The Netherlands.
Clicking on the image below will take you to the American
importer.
Other Crap:
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An extended clip from The
Devil Wears Prada
The trailer for Loverboy,
a drama directed by Kevin Bacon and written by
Shakespeare (HANNAH Shakespeare)
- "A neglected
daughter becomes a possessive mother in an
emotional journey into the heart and mind of
a woman who loved too much."
Paris Hilton's ex
says:
Lindsay Lohan's pussy
"smells like diarrhea"
Remember disqualified
Little Leaguer Danny Almonte? He just married
a 30 year old woman.
The best strip club
cities? #1 - Las Vegas, of course, but I
betcha can't guess number two.
Colbert on the hot new
jet-set vacation spot: Libya
- "Now we realize
Qaddafi is just a loveable eccentric, kinda
like Prince."
Colbert's new segment on
"The Difference-Makers." Today: the men who
guard our borders
- These brave
volunteers are building a rinky-dink fence
for a few yards between Mexico and
California.
Colbert guards the purity
of our nation's female prom-goers.
You knew Colbert would
eventually weigh in on those bears that
attacked the monkey in the Amsterdam Zoo.
"Jon interviews the
incomparable Willie Nelson about Willie's new
book 'The Tao of Willie.'"
The Daily Show looks at
plagiarism
The Daily Show looks for
Jimmy Hoffa
Jon Stewart- special
origin edition -The Origin of the Decider!
- While trying to
execute a mentally challenged prisoner, the
Decider is born!
Weekly World News:
"COMPANY OFFERS SPACE ALIEN INVASION
INSURANCE!"
Arkansas Mayor Accused in
Sex-For-Water Case
... sexual exploitation from government
officials - it's an Arkanas tradition!
"Police arrested a man
after he tried to sell a valuable Rembrandt
etching at a bar in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma."
- Well, no wonder he
got caught. The art police always have their
eyes on Broken Arrow. I sell all my stolen
Rembrandts at the Cracker Barrel restaurant
out in Lampasas, Texas
- And a tip for you
youngsters. Fern bars are OK for stolen
Rembrandts, but stolen Van Goghs command the
highest price if you take them to
honky-tonks.
Letterman's
"Top Ten Signs Your
Monkey Is A Genius"
Jo Blo's pics from
Cannes!!
National Guard short of
help ... will
have to fill border guard positions with
illegal immigrants.
Transcript of President's
Live Address to the Nation to Unveil Bold New
Ideas on that Immigration Reform Stuff
(WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
Estimate the value of
your domain name
- Interesting
concept, but doesn't seem accurate
"And the Emmy hosting gig
goes to...the redhead with the Bob's Big Boy
pompadour"
And you think the LAPD
sucks? Check out the Baltimore police ...
"Couple Arrested For
Asking For Directions"
- They were arrested
for trespassing - on a public street - and
spent eight hours in jail!
- And, on top of
that, their car was burglarized in the
police impound lot.
The trailer for Santa
Clause 3: The Escape Clause
- How could the
series get any gosh-darn better? Two words:
Martin Short
Various new clips for
Pulse
- "Imagine our
wireless technologies made a connection to a
world beyond our own. Imagine that world
used that technology as a doorway into ours.
Now, imagine the connection we made can't be
shut down. When you turn on your cell phone
or log on to your e-mail, they'll get in,
you'll be infected and they'll be able to
take from you what they don't have anymore -
life. Kristen Bell ("Veronica Mars"),
Christina Milian ("Love Don't Cost A Thing")
and Ian Somerhalder ("Lost") star in
"Pulse," a bone-chilling thriller hitting
theatres on July 14th."
- Yeah, my bones are
already feelin' a tad chilly.
9 new clips from "X-Men:
The Last Stand"
(Follow the links to "trailer")
New footage from Sups
Returns
The trailer for Step Up
- "Everyone deserves
a chance to follow their dreams, but some
people only get one shot. Tyler Gage (Channing
Tatum) is a rebel from the wrong side of
Baltimore's tracks, and the only thing that
stands between him and an unfulfilled life
are his dreams of one day making it out of
there. Nora (Jenna Dewan) is a privileged
ballet dancer attending Baltimore's
ultra-elite Maryland School of the Arts --
and the only thing standing in the way of
her obviously brilliant future is finding a
great dance partner for her senior showcase.
When trouble with the law lands Tyler with a
community service gig at Maryland School of
the Arts, he arrives as an angry outsider,
until his skills as a gifted street dancer
draw Nora's attention. Now, as sparks fly
between them, both on and off stage, Tyler
realizes he has just one performance to
prove that he can step up to a life far
larger than he ever imagined. Featuring the
directorial debut of leading choreographer
Anne Fletcher, the film also stars R&B
superstar Mario, Drew Sidora as well as rap
legend Heavy D, Damaine Radcliff, De'Shawn
Washington and Academy Award nominee and
Golden Globe winner Rachel Griffiths."
Two trailers and a
"making of" for Paris, Je T'Aime
The New York Times
charged a panel of experts to answer this
question:
What Is the Best Work of
American Fiction of the Last 25 Years?
"It's rare that an
actress who shows real talent benefits from
showing skin"
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Motor Home Massacre (2005)
This is a straight to video slasher movie in which seven friends make off
with an aging motor home and head to the woods, where someone with night
vision goggles is using a machete to play a Benihana Boogie on campers. Since
there were only eight people in the cast and seven of them were the campers, I
correctly guessed the killer to be the other one. The only dramatic tension
was wondering who would be sliced and diced next. That game was so much fun,
people kept coming back to life so they could be hacked up again.
It is not that I am against 80s style slasher films, but this one needed to
show at least 7 more breasts, should have had at least one swimming or shower
scene, and needed sympathetic characters. None of the characters have any
appeal. They are either obnoxious (a white gangsta and an alpha male asshole),
or whiny wimps. Even the main premise, that these seven were friends, was hard
to accept, because none of them seemed to like each other. Of course, that may
have been an impression created by the universally poor acting. The film also
has technical negatives. Most of the photography is entirely too dark and
grainy, and the sound is bad enough that a lot of the dialogue is hard to
hear.
Now that I think about it, the fact that you can't see or hear the film is
probably a positive rather than a negative.
IMDb has this at 6.2. {Cough} Clearly, the cast voted, as there are 7 tens.
Once my vote is counted, there will also be 7 ones. This is an F.
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Dann reports on Odyssey 5: Odyssey 5,
Showtime's 2002 Sci-Fi series, was one of my favorites. I was bummed when
they cancelled it, and even more bummed because I missed the last couple
of episodes, so I didn't know how it ended.
I was pretty excited about the release of
"the complete series", as the 5-disc DVD was billed, because I thought I'd
finally know the ending. Fat chance! Turns out it didn't end. Well,
actually, it DID end, but on a cliff hanger, so they obviously didn't know
it was going to be cancelled. Bummer. Strange, too, since this was
allegedly Showtime's second highest rated series. Thanks a lot, folks.
Anyway, the 19 episodes are still great
stories, about the crew of a space shuttle that witnesses the destruction
of earth. They are rescued by an alien called the Seeker, who is able to
send their spirits (but not their bodies) back 5 years in time, to try and
discover why the earth imploded, and save it. Just imagine suddenly being
in your body 5 years ago, but knowing what you know now.
Great show, just too bad they didn't end
the damned thing. Incidentally, the collage has the names of all the
actresses, taken from different episodes, and it's not a misprint;
Katia Corriveau did appear in two separate episodes.
various women |
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Wisconsin's Supreme Court reversed a lower court and ruled that Milwaukee police
did not violate a suspect's constitutional right against unreasonable searches
when they gave him a laxative called "Go Lightly" to retrieve a bag of heroin he
had swallowed. His attorney called it "a tragic defeat for human rights."
* What a load of crap...
Last night, NBC aired the last episode of "Will & Grace," the sitcom about a
handsome, wealthy gay man and his scatter-brained platonic surrogate wife
* If you really miss it, try watching the media
coverage of Tom and Katie.
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