Whenever Scoopy and I disagree on a film, it is an event for me. This is one of those films. First for the areas of agreement.
1) The film has merit
2) It is bad history.
3) Geoffrey Rush was brilliant as the Marquis de Sade.
4) The film reinvents a "kinder, gentler" de Sade to make the character more acceptable to the audience.
5) It was obvious that the film was an adaption of a stage play, in that there was not much action, and there was a LOT of dialogue.
Scoopy was unable to relate emotionally to the film, because the character of the real de Sade is so odious to him that he couldn't accept the fictional version in this film. He compares it to romanticizing Hitler. I can completely see his point. A film romanticizing Hitler would leave me cold, no matter how well made, because I have a lot of emotional baggage associated with Adolph. I would have similar problems relating to a film romanticizing Nixon, or McCarthy, or Bill Gates or Ty Domi (for the Hockey impaired, Domi is a thug who can't even skate, and exists simply to hurt people). The difference is that I had no emotional baggage about de Sade. He probably deserves a place of honor on my fecal list, but I watched the film without the same emotional reaction to de Sade that Scoopy did. Scoopy loved the Rush performance, as did I, but was bored by the Winslett character, the Priest (Joaquin Phoenix), and the Doctor's young wife (Amelia Warner).
For me, the film used the character of de Sade Lite as a plot device, and was really more about the question of whether people, witnessing (reading or watching) violent, sexual and deviant material are incited to go out and commit these acts themselves. I was fascinated by the Winslett character, who was the proof that enjoyment of pornography doesn't necessarily make you lewd (she died a virgin). I absolutely fell in love with the Amelia Warner character. She is being held in cold storage in a nunnery till the doctor feels the need of a wife. Being sent away from his circle of friends by Napoleon to put a stop to de Sade's writings, he decides it is time for this wife. She is 16, he is more like 60, and he virtually rapes her on their wedding night, then instructs the house staff to keep her locked in so she doesn't lose her virtue. She gets her hands on a de Sade book, in her words "memorizes it" and then, her education complete, looks for a teacher to give her practical lessons. An architect (really more what we would call a decorator) provided by Napoleon fits the bill. In her case, reading the extreme pornography gave her a healthy appreciation for sex, and more than reason enough to leave the doctor. On the other hand, the film indicates that several people, already demented, were driven to commit despicable acts by de Sade's words.
There are critics I respect on both sides of this issue, with Berardinelli at 3 1/2 stars and making many of the same points I am trying to, and others calling it highly over-rated. The film has a green tint, which Scoop found distracting and I thought added to the mood of the film. This time through, I removed it for the images. Is Scoopy right or am I? We both are. Watching films, and reviewing them as well, is completely subjective. Now for the grade. Scoopy saw it as a costume drama and biopic, and didn't give it much crossover appeal. This is one of his favored genres. I don't often like the genre, saw it more as a morality play/drama, and think it has a lot of crossover appeal. I have to admit that it lost some of its luster the second time through. This is a C+. Some love it, others don't.
Terminator (1984) was a perfect role for Arnold, as the character had no personality and poor language skills. This match of actor to character is partially responsible for the popularity of the film. Also, it is pretty good non-stop action and violence, and the special effects were good enough that I forgot they were effects. Two things about the film don't work for me. First, I didn't think the flashbacks to the future added to the film. Second, I would liked to have seen more transition in Linda Hamilton's character from ditsy waitress to kick ass rebel organizer and earth mother.
Linda Hamilton shows breasts in a brief sex scene. IMDb readers have it at 7.9 of 10, making it the number 194 of all time. It earned a staggering $80.4M against a budget of only $6/4M. It is decidedly not my kind of movie, yet I watched it start to finish, and didn't reach for the fast forward. As is often the case, they overdid the old, He's dead, ooops, not yet, now he's dead, ooops, not yet routine at the end. This is a B-. Even people who don't like Sci Fi action (such as me) are entertained by this one.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Party Animalz (2004)
In theory, this should really be my kind of movie.
A couple of slacker house painters
from East L.A. get to paint a ritzy Beverly Hills mansion while the
owners are off doing rich person stuff in Gstaad or The Seychelles
or someplace like that. Of course, they decide that this is an
excellent opportunity to invite all of their best barrio buddies for a
big, noisy, orgiastic fete in the untended mansion.
From there on, it's topless chicks,
pool parties, lost virginity, guys drilling peepholes, drugs, spicy
food, salsa music, burro porn, and pretty much every other thing that makes life
Works for me. I wish I had been there
for the party.
Unfortunately, it didn't work in the
This is not a complicated formula,
but they managed to screw it up. The jokes aren't funny. The
gross-out humor is gross without being humorous. The performers seem
to be mostly amateurs. Even the damned topless chicks are either out
of focus or in funky lighting.
Oh, yeah, and the writer had no idea
how to end it, so they just sort of drifted off into the credits.
- Radha Nilia (1,
- other chicks (1,
Aime ton père
This film is also known as A Loving
Father and Love Thy Father:
This French language film is about
the relationship between an overbearing, genius father and his
children. It stars Gerard Depardieu and his own son Guillaume, who
probably re-enact some familiar scenes from their own lives. It was
written by Jacob Berger, whose own father, the English novelist and
art historian John Berger, provided the inspiration for the father
It was nominated for the Golden
Leopard at Locarno, the Golden Tulip at Istanbul, the Golden Bayard
at Namur, the Golden Shower in Bangkok, the Golden Parachute on Wall
Street, the Golden Gloves in Vegas, the Golden Pussycat in Pompano
Beach, and the Golden Moose in Medicine Hat. The Medicine Hat Film
Festival usually predicts the Oscars quite well, but this time the
predictor failed, and Love Thy Loving Father was not nominated.
It would have been if they gave an
Oscar for Most Pretentious Film.
OK, I made up most of those film
festival awards, but the first three are real. I'm not sure how good
a film has to be to be nominated for the Golden Bayard at Namur, but
I never heard of any of the films in the competition. It is
restricted to French-language films, so I'm assuming that French
words are pretty much the only requirement for the coveted Golden Bayard
This film is supposed to be some kind
of psychological exploration of the psyches of the father and the
kids, so it digs deeper that mere reality, delving into imagination,
visions, dreams, and hallucinations. Even the "real" things are more
"surreal" than anything else. Just to cite one example, the daughter
thinks her dad has been killed in an accident. As she waits to
identify his body, she holds an imaginary conversation with a
non-existent naked dead woman who claims to have been in the
accident with her father.
Meanwhile the father, still alive, has been
kidnapped by his son, and is in the back seat of the son's car,
wrapped up in yellow "police line, do not cross" tape. The two of
them enjoy many bitter memories while they create some additional
As for the dialogue: (intone
sonorously) "You are
anorexic and afraid. Afraid to eat. Afraid to shit." The father,
winner of a Nobel Prize in literature, said that to his daughter. I
guess that's how Nobel Prize Dudes talk.
The whole thing reminded me of the
Ingmar Bergman parodies that SCTV used to create. Remember those? People
stand arranged around a corpse in a neatly posed tableau. One
person says "now is it Autumn, and we shall have wheat", and the
others then chant "wheat, wheat, wheat" in unison, while everyone
stares vacantly out into the distance. Then they dream of
reindeer-herding Lapps, and evil dwarves, and of clocks that keep
ticking louder, and louder, and LOUDER.
Well, there you go. I spoiled the
whole damned movie for you.
- Elisabeth Niederer (1,
The world's first Internet church has fallen victim to a plague of
virtual demons. They need a virtual exorcism. "Your
mother sucks worms in cyberspace". "The power of Virtual Christ ©
'Da Vinci' author: I left out even more - theory that Jusus
survived the crucifixion. Put it back in the movie
version!. Jesus walks away from the cross. His wounds disappear.
His limp disappears. We find out that he's really Kyser Sose.
JoBlo does Cannes, Part 8
Madonna to be electrocuted on stage.
Urban Legends Reference Pages suspects that the "We can't get
pregnant." "Try sex." story is apocryphal.
- Just minutes after celebrating their historic legal marriages
in the Commonwealth,
hundreds of those same-sex Massachusetts couples had their first
legally recognized marital spats.
The Mouseketeer seems to be just about on the verge of a major
Tim's Chemistry Exam
Miramax chiefs set about locking down a new distributor for the
Michael Moore film.
- URL says it all:
The Top 15 Wicked Film Critics' Descriptions of Diane Kruger
Oh, sorry, my mistake. Andy Kaufman IS back alive.
Watch the First Five Minutes of Shrek 2
"Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch ...." Darth
Steinbrenner boots Cracker Jack out of the National Pastime.
Rap Group Offers How-To DVD For Aspiring Groupies
Calif. Bill Requires 'Spyware' Notice.
Pete, the Porno Puppet for Jesus.
Brando to play Brando in "Brando and Brando".
Atlas E Missile Base and Silo: The Ultimate Extreme Home
Rural Kansas. $595,000.
- Oh, brother.
Mouseketeer confesses lesbian love.
Fugitive who faked suicide is found alive - after 13 years
What would weddings be like if the groom arranged them?
How to build your own Batphone.
What is melissophobia?. Not the fear an Alman Brothers
Band song ... it's the fear of bees. That, and every other obscure
fear, is listed here.
Wallet's Return Amazes Cincinnati Pitcher!
Charles Barkley could give Monday Night Football more bite
Soccer may be out of Olympics, says Dick Pound.
Mary Carey participates in Scare Tactics. (It's the
Sci-Fi Channel's extreme version of Punk'd)
The beauty who has real sex in the explicit British movie 9 Songs
was a devout Christian. She especialy loves Matthew 21,
verse 8, where the crowd "spread them on the road"
China shelves plan for astronauts on moon. They decided
that if you go on a Chinese moon mission, you feel all satisfied,
then an hour later you feel like you have to go back to the moon
Fan-produced Star Wars Episode III Trailer
- This is a funny site.
Talking to Americans. Canadian satirist Rick Mercer
talks to Americans, including the famous as well as the man on the
street, and finds out how much they don't know about Canada.
- URL says it all:
The Society for the Preservation of Albino Squirrels.
Actually, it is only one squirrel, and he's a cute little bugger.
- According to 'very reliable sources',
the struggling science fiction series Enterprise has been picked
up for a fourth season.
Tourist firm aims to send "a prominent Japanese figure" to space.
If it is a one-way trip, I recommend Yoko.
British PM attacked with a flour bomb. Covered with
flour, Blair now has something in common with the American
President. Both are in bread.
Dead nudist gets 500 votes for Portland mayor .
DIET COKE AD with Kate Beckinsale in a bathing suit.
JoBlo does Cannes, Part 7
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Based on some requests, Shiloh had been hunting
diligently for this for a couple of weeks, finally found it on HBO2,
and capped the entire movie and sent it to me! The following shows
all the Maggie Gyllenhaal nudity - pretty much every frame of it in
.wmv format. If we still haven't covered what you want to see, write
in - and be specific, because I have the whole film to work
with, so I can deliver any scene you want to see.
Maggie Gyllenhaal. .wmv's only today (1,
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Two things today.
Edits of those luminous Mandy Moore pics at the premiere of Saved. Gotta admit I had wondered what
the brouhaha was all about when it came to Mandy, but these pictures sold me. They are some of the sexiest
images I have ever seen.
- Mandy Moore
Second thing is a collage of vidcaps, showing Rena Mero (aka rasslin' babe Sable) in very wet clothes. Not sure of the
source, so I kept most of the original label.
The third and final installment of the Ghost's coverage from "Timegate: Tales of the Saddle Tramps" (1999).
- Taimie Hannum, the model, Skinemax actress and web-cam babe showing off her robo-boobs and getting it on.
- Taimie Hannum .wmvs. Some long, and pretty good pseudo-sex scenes with plenty of exposure.
||The "That '70s Show" show star showed up on Conan Tuesday night with blonde hair and a tan.
|Anne wearing another black outfit that becomes see-thru when the flashes go off...only this time she put tape on her nipples!
|A second helping of 'caps from the 1971 classic "A Clockwork Orange" from the Skin-man. All the ladies are topless of course, plus Wyeth briefly shows the other 2 B's, and Jaffe gives up all the goods.
|Pat Reeder Remembers Tony Randall
Laura and I were very saddened by the news of the death of Tony Randall,
and not just because we both grew up worshiping him as a comedic idol. I
also got the chance to meet and work with him, and it will always be one of
my most cherished memories. I thought I'd share it with everyone, just to
show you what kind of man he really was off-camera.
About 15 years ago, when I was alternating radio and commercial gigs with
writing/producting corporate video, Mr. Randall appeared in a humorous
instructional video series I wrote on buying and selling real estate, and I
got to spend a weekend working around him. He and Steve Allen were the two
nicest, most gracious celebrities I ever met, and my job has brought me in
contact with a lot of them, good and bad.
He flew into Dallas to do the job, and he was funny and friendly to
everyone on the set, answering all our dumb questions about his career and
other celebrities he knew, joking flirtatiously with the shy script girl,
etc. We had set up a luxurious dressing room for him to have a private
lunch, but he said, "Aw, no! I want to eat with the guys!" He insisted on
eating at the cafeteria table with the crew, regaling us all with hilarious
stories. He even complained that the 4-star hotel suite we provided for him
was far more than he needed, and he would have been fine with a room at the
He did all this while very worried about his wife, who had been extremely
ill for a long time. During one break, I escorted him to a private office
to call her, and he explained to me that he was only taking short jobs like
ours at that time so he didn't have to be away from her for long. I'll
never forget how he seemed so worried, then the second his wife came on the
line, he put on a happy face, asking her how she was doing and telling her
how nice everyone was here as he tried to lift her spirits. Then the
instant he hung up, the mask dropped, his shoulders sagged and a sadness
settled over him that he only shook off when we walked back onto the set.
I know some people have criticized him for having kids at an advanced age
with his young second wife, but if he found happiness with a new family
after his first wife passed away, I certainly didn't begrudge it to him. He
had more than earned some happiness.
I told him I loved his two LPs of 1920s songs and had played them to death.
He not only autographed them for me, he said, "If you've really played them
to death, I have the master tapes. I'd be happy to send you a dub." I never
imagined he would, but a few days later, I received a package with a
cassette (that formerly had opera on it) with a dub of the masters,
including unreleased tracks. It also included a personal handwritten note,
complimenting me on my own comedy demo tape I'd given him.
A couple years later, I went to New York in hopes of achieving my dream of
writing for David Letterman. As a poor kid from Texas with no agent or TV
contacts, I couldn't get in the door. But I knew Tony Randall was a regular
guest. So I wrote to the address on the envelope, reminding him who I was
and asking if he had any suggestions. It was just a shot in the dark, and I
never really expected a reply.
But a few days later, I got back another personal note from him with the
inside phone number of David Letterman's head writer. The note said, "Give
him a call, he's waiting to hear from you. Good luck!" We had an hour-long
conversation, and while I never got the job (there was a prolonged writer's
strike on, and I moved back to Texas to be with my cancer-stricken parents
before it ended, then returned to radio, took over writing the Morning
Punch, and founded the Comedy Wire), I will never forget the multiple times
this wealthy, world-famous celebrity went out of his way to be helpful to a
young comedy writer from Texas that nobody'd ever heard of.
As both a comedic talent and a human being, Tony Randall (and Steve Allen,
who also helped me in a similar fashion) stood head and shoulders above
every other celebrity I've ever dealt with. Considering what he did for me,
I can only imagine how many other people he helped over his long career.
Laura and I send my prayers and condolences to his family, and our greatest
respect to him. His work will live on forever. And if you've never seen
"The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao," get a copy now!
The Comedy Wire
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
OLYMPICS TO ALLOW TRANSSEXUALS
Sports Without Balls - Olympic officials have agreed to allow transsexuals -
both women who've become men and men who've become women - to compete in this
year's Games. Critics argued that ex-male athletes would have an unfair
advantage because men have more testosterone, muscle mass, and heart and lung
capacity. But officials agreed to allow transsexuals if they've undergone
sex-change surgery and lengthy hormone therapy so that "official authorities"
recognize them as members of the opposite sex.
The "Official authorities" will be Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt.
I don't know what to say what to say about this issue; I could go either
"Official Olympic authorities" couldn't even recognize that the old East
German women's swim team had beards.
On the bright side, new world records will be set in all the women's
events this year.
HOLLYWOOD TEETH MAKING PEOPLE PARANOID
Bite Me! - Prof. Jimmy Steele of Newcastle University in England says that
the perfect, gleaming white smiles celebrities are buying from cosmetic dentists
are making normal young people paranoid about their teeth. He said people
compare their perfectly normal teeth to celebrities and think there's something
wrong with them, and that dentists are under increasing pressure by patients
to "perform small miracles" on their teeth.
Or in the case of British people, major miracles.
Dentists need to practice telling British people, "Your teeth are fine"
with a straight face.
When I see some of those big, gleaming celebrity teeth, I get paranoid
because I think they're going to eat me.
Know who's really smiling these days? Dentists.
TEN SMELLIEST CELEBRITIES
"Pitt" Is Right - After years of covering the stars, Swedish showbiz expert
Mikael Jagerbrand has listed the Top Ten Smelliest Celebrities. Counting down
from #10, they are Bob Dylan, Metallica, Cameron Diaz, Christina Aguilera,
Robin Williams, Courtney Cox, David Bowie, Hayden Christensen, and at #2, Russell
Crowe, who reportedly has such bad B.O., Joan Rivers refuses to sit next to
him. Topping the list is Brad Pitt. His aversion to washing himself or his
clothes is so great, his co-stars in his debut film reportedly complained of his
smell, and he responded by buying a new $3,600 Calvin Klein shirt instead of
taking a shower.
At least now, he can afford to wear a new Calvin Klein shirt every day.
If your woman complains that you don't look like Brad Pitt, tell her that
you CAN smell like him, if she wants.
Jennifer Aniston's nose job must've destroyed her sense of smell.
Russell Crowe refuses to wash just because it keeps Joan Rivers from
sitting next to him.
Courtney Cox can't shower; she'd slide right down the drain.
That's right: Cameron Diaz smells worse than all the members of Metallica
Mickey Rourke missed the list on a technicality: it's only for celebrities.
"BIG UNIT" SETS PERFECT GAME RECORD
Older Than Young - Tuesday night, Randy "Big Unit" Johnson, 40, of the Arizona
Diamondbacks pitched a no-hitter against Atlanta, becoming the oldest pitcher
ever to throw a perfect game. He broke the record set by a 37-year-old Cy
Young in 1904.
In an attempt to regain his record, a 137-year-old Cy Young just came out
When you're 40, a "perfect game" is one that ends early enough so you can
get home and watch "Law & Order."
YANKEES DITCH CRACKER JACK
Steinbrenner Takes The Prize - Some angry Yankees fans say it's sacrilege
that the stadium has dropped Cracker Jack for Crunch 'N' Munch. Cracker Jack is
a baseball tradition since the 1800s, plus Crunch 'N' Munch doesn't have a
prize in the box. Yankees C.O.O. Lonn Trost said, "Cracker Jack is just a brand
name. We're selling a caramel crunch that is the same thing." He said it's
no different than Jell-O and gelatin or aspirin and Bayer.
Or peanuts and Beer Nuts, which is what they'll now be selling instead of
The song now goes, "Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch!
Steinbrenner's so greedy, I may toss my lunch!"
It's a better fit, since Yankee management is also no prize.