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Saturday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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| Tuna
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"Rapid Fire"
Rapid Fire (1992) is a Brandon Lee martial arts film with lots of crooked cops, feds, etc, nasty Asians dealing drugs and killing the Mafia, and Lee teaming with two good cops to solve everything. This film is no better or worse than others of its ilk, and actually has some nudity. Brigitta Stenberg is seen nude modeling for an art class Lee is taking, and the female good cop, Kate Hodge, shows a breast in a very dark sex scene with Lee. The film is pretty much all action, with decent full-speed fighting, a few crashes, and lots of gunfire.
IMDB readers say 5.7 of 10, and Ebert awards 1 1/2 stars. If you choose to watch this. get caught up in the action, and don't try to analyze the plot, and you might be able to enjoy it. C-.
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Brigitta Stenberg
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Kate Hodge
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"Zombi Holocaust"
Zombi Holocaust (1979), like many Italian cannibal/zombie/gore films, has had dozens of titles. You will find it on IMDB as Zombie 3. Dr. Butcher M.D. has been a popular title for some of the releases in the US. The most important thing about this film is that they combine, but don't mix, a mad doctor, a naked woman, cannibals and zombies. Thus, whichever of the elements you enjoy, you can watch it without being distracted by the others. Someone is mutilating corpses in a New York hospital, so a fed, an anthropologist (Alexandra Delli Colli in her first role), a male assistant and a female newsie travel to an island believed to be the home of a cult doing the nasty work. They no sooner reach the island than they are attacked by Canibals. A local doctor attempts to rescue them, but ends up capturing them for his experiments, the same experiments that created the zombies. Delli Colli is captured by the cannibals, who intend sacrificing her to their god on a sacrificial table. It would require a miracle for her to escape, so a miracle occurs.
I seriously doubt that this is anyone's kind of film, but Delli Colli is topless in an early scene, and then shows full frontal, first in an undressing scene, then when being prepared for sacrifice. The IMDB rating of 4.8 of 10 is a little low as the film is decent technically. The film has a cult following among genre fans. Be careful to see an uncut version, as the censored ones are pretty boring. The DVD is a good Widescreen transfer with several extras, and the dubbed English is reasonably well done. C.
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Alexandra Delli Colli
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Movies:
Thursday - is
a film so much like a Tarantino script that you can probably fool your friends
into thinking it is one. I don't get into the male masturbatory fantasy genre,
but the guys who do think it is pretty cool. From the perspective of someone
who isn't into the whole splatter for laughs thing, I'd say it is better than
the lesser Tarantino scripts like Jackie Brown and Modern Romance, but not on a
level with his masterpieces. It's hard to tell, however, because he copies
those two movies (Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs) so blatantly that you may
forget you're not watching one of them. Let's face it, thought, none of that
really matters. The most important thing is that he gets former
superdupermegahypermodel Paulina Porizkova stark naked in broad daylight.
- Paulina Porizkova
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Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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| Graphic Response
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- Sharon Stone gettin' it on with Stallone in a shower scene from "The Specialist".
This movie gets dumped on quite a bit, and I admit it, the writing deserves to be made fun off, but it's still decent, mindless entertainment. The film looks great (filmed in Miami), Stallone and Stone get nekkid (although Stallone is naked more often) and James Woods is great as the psycho bad guy, but that's not exactly unfamiliar territory for him. But what's the best part of this movie you ask? That's easy...Rod Steiger's outrageous "Hispanic" accent!
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
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| UC99
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| Andrea Brose |
A little something for the guys who prefer old school, 70's disco, euro bush. Lower frontal nudity from "Polizeiruf 110 - Opfergang" (1994).
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| Katrin Saß |
Side breast exposure, also from "Polizeiruf 110 - Opfergang".
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| Eleonore Weisgerber |
Brief breast sighting in a love scene from "Mit fünfzig küssen Männer anders" (1998).
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| Sophie Scholz |
Great breasts in plain view in scenes from "Eine Öffentliche Affäre" (2001).
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| Tamara Rohloff |
Lovely wonderbra cleavage in scenes from "Ein Mann steht auf" (1999).
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| Blackshine
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The master of fashion scans strikes again. If you like your models tall and very thin, then you'll enjoy this batch of non-nudes.
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| Variety
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| Natalie Portman |
Looking absolutely amazing in a very low cut dress on Letterman! Vidcaps by DAI.
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Mathilda May
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A very nice treat from Helvete today...excellent topless 'caps from a long time Fun House favorite. Here is the lovely French actress baring her breasts in several scenes from "La Teta y la luna" aka "The Tit and the Moon" (1994).
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| Heidi Smith |
Topless 'caps by Dann from "Biker Zombies From Detroit". According to Dann and 2 of the 3 user reviews at IMDb, this is one of the worst, most inept on every level, low budget movies ever.
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| Sabine Azéma |
The French actress looking great at age 37 in this nude shower scene from "Zone rouge" (1986). 'Caps by Charlie, collage by Helvete.
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| Heather Graham |
The best topless 'caps yet of Heather in "Killing Me Softly". Still no info on when or if this puppy will ever see a theatrical release in the US. MGM is the studio, and the only info on their site is a short paragraph and some production stills. In contrast...the upcoming Crocodile Hunter has a Flash website with info, bios and trailers. So I guess that's some indication of how much they are behind the Heather Graham flick. My guess is look for it to premiere on DVD or Cable this fall.
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| Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Scoop,
Something to launch a thousand arguments...
People Magazine Picks Hollywood's Best Body Parts
By Sarah Tippit
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Editors at People magazine really, really like
Nicole Kidman, who on Thursday was cited as having the best legs in
Hollywood in the weekly's latest issue celebrating the "best body parts" of
the stars.
And that might make up for some bruised feeling the actress had while
growing up. The 5'10" "Moulin Rouge!" star said that "Growing up, I'd be
described as a colt .... "Having long legs makes you geeky."
And these days since those long legs look so great in million-dollar
couture outfits that the world's top designers virtually clamber to custom
design fanciful creations just for her, Kidman is resigned to keeping in
shape.
She hikes, she swims, she occasionally runs on the beach -- although she's
not a big fan of the gym, according to the issue that hits the newsstands
Friday.
"I'm a water baby," she told the magazine.
And for all that hard work, Kidman and other stars deserve a nice pat on
the back for ranking beyond their peers in terms of having perfect body
parts, said People staff writer Galina Espinoza.
Other celebrities cited for exquisite, and presumably natural, body parts
were actors Tom Cruise and Jennifer Garner, who won honors for having the
"best arms," tennis pro Patrick Rafter who shared the "best legs" award
with Kidman, and Benjamin Bratt and Halle Berry who were cited as having
the "best chest." Sorry, there was no award for best backside.
In all fairness, and good genes and occasional radical starvation diets
aside, looking good is a full-time job for celebrities, who almost without
exception, work exceedingly hard on their appearances, Espinoza said.
Take 40-year-old Mariel Hemingway, who is featured in a variety of
pretzel-like Yoga positions at poolside, with the peaceful countenance of a
thousand lotus blossoms. This obviously takes some work.
R&B star Usher, who shared the magazine's "best abs" honors with former
Spice Girl Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell, squeezes in up to 1,000 stomach
crunches a day to get his rock-hard abs. And when he's not on tour, he
makes four two-hour trips to the gym each week.
Mere mortals who remained glued to computers 10 hours a day occasionally
wishing they could catch anorexia, can find some solace in knowing that
celebrities are paid to look good, and therefore while we are slaving away
at desk jobs the stars are poring over meal plans with their personal chefs
and sweating hard with the world's best trainers, Espinoza said.
For example, Cruise, 39, even has a mobile gym that follows him everywhere
he goes, she said, thus helping him keep in top shape for the rock climbing
and other stunts required in his high energy adventure films.
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