"Prince of Bel Air"

Prince of Bel Air (1986) is a pretty ordinary romantic comedy about a bright pool cleaner, a ladies man with a rich patron, who falls in love with the niece of his patron (Kirstie Allie). He is also tutoring the son of his patron in the fine art of bedding everything in skirts, along with his similar minded buddies. It is the standard boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy finds girl plot line. There was humor to be mined in the way this group of predatory males went after women, but they didn't even bother with that.

Barbara Crampton and Leslie Winston show breasts as wiling female sex partners. IMDb readers have this at 6.6 of 10. I can't imagine what anyone saw in it to cause that high a score. It is a C-, with a similar plot line to Hard Bodies, but not nearly as well done.

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  • Barbara Crampton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Leslie Winston (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    A few hundred new pics were added in volumes M through R



    ... and God Spoke (1993)

    This is the mockumentary about two third-rate filmmakers who somehow persuaded a studio to give them ten million dollars to make a film of the entire Bible. (The first draft came in at 2000 pages - "which was more of a mini-series length")

    I didn't love the film from beginning to end the way Tuna did, but I thought they had some really funny ideas. For me it was sixty minutes of solid material spread out over eighty minutes. It would have been great as a one hour comedy special on HBO or Comedy Central. Even as it is, it is not so bad at all!

    Some examples of their funny concepts:

    • At one point the director thought there might be a realism problem with eight disciples, but he didn't know how many disciples Jesus actually had, and nobody on the set knew. Worse yet, nobody on the set had a copy of The Bible. Somebody in the crew was pretty sure it was ten disciples, so the director insisted on having two more. The producer said there was no money for two more disciples, but the director was a stickler for historical accuracy and would not continue without the full ten! At that point the only remaining problem was the "walk on water" scene, because the boat wouldn't hold ten disciples plus Jesus.

    • They cut all the depressing stuff out of the Bible, but their script was still far too long, so they had the ultimate practical solution to shorten it  - cut Jesus!

    • Ya gotta love a film in which Incredible Hulk (Lou Ferrigno) plays Cain and Andy Dick is Abel.

    • Their film ended up as the worst film ever made, and they were broke. A year later, however, college kids discovered it and turned it into a cult item like Rocky Horror Picture Show. Kids would go to the midnight showings dressed as their favorite cheesy characters and recite all the dialogue. You'd see the kids in line, and several would be dressed as Moses, complete with stone tablets and six packs of Coke!

    And, of course, you have to love the film clips from their earlier films, Nude Ninjas and Dial S for Sex. ("Dial S did remarkably well in Third World Countries, especially Bangladesh, because they were just getting their first phones when the film played there.")

    These nudes are from one of their earlier faux-films, the 1983 classic Nude Ninjas which, as the director explained, was a sensitive and social-conscious drama about women trying to succeed in a traditionally male profession.


    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Look's like we have a pretty clear winner in our recent "Most Overrated Movie" poll. I have the official winners and commetary posted in the next day or two.

    In the meantime...Email Scoopy Jr. if suggestions for future polls.

    Here are the results of our previous polls:
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
    The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
    Best Lesbian Love Scenes

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    A quickie from the Ghost is Skinemax legend and former Pet (January '92) Shauna O'Brien gettin' it on in scenes from an episode of "Beverly Hills Bordello". By the way, these clips feature her pre-roobo-hooters.

    • Shauna O'Brien, zipped .wmvs. (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Assault on Precinct 13"
    The story has been updated, but all the excitement and action have been preserved in this 2005 remake of John Carpenter's 1976 action/thriller. Carpenter wrote and directed the earlier version, and the new version follows his plot closely.

    It's New Year's Eve in the middle of a blinding snowstorm. A police sergeant, now in uniform after being involved in a tragic incident while under cover, is presiding over the closing of a police station. After midnight, the station is closed, and only a secretary, a uniformed cop, and the sergeant remain.

    A bus transporting prisoners is forced to stop at the precinct because of the storm. The prisoners are placed in holding cells until the storm subsides. Among them is Bishop, a major criminal and cop killer who runs a gang of thugs.

    When the precinct suddenly comes under attack from heavily armed men in ski masks, the assumption (which is wrong) is that its Bishop's men trying to free him. Phone lines have been cut, and radio communications jammed. The cops and prison guards are forced to defend the precinct, because they know the invaders won't leave anyone alive.

    Lots of excitement and a few twists make this a riveting movie that never gets boring.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Love Don't Cost a Thing"
    No nudity in the teen flick Love Don't Cost a Thing but a lots of sexy ladies including cleavage, minor pokies, bikini shots and cheerleader action. The views are provided by Christina Milian, Melissa Schuman, Nichole Robinson, Gay Thomas Wilson and Reagan Gomez-Preston.

    "One Special Victory"
    More sexy caps, but this time of Dawn Mangrum in One Special Victory.

    "Fools Rush In"
    Fools Rush In features Salma Hayek and she just oozes sex appeal.

    • Salma Hayek (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Ride With the Devil"
    The nudity in Ride With the Devil comes from an unnamed victim of a devil-worshipping cult. Unfortunately, the frontal nudity has been blurred. Some nice caps of Loretta Switt and Lara Parker.

    No visible nudity in this Cameron Crowe movie, but there are some nice caps of Bridget Fonda, Kyra Sedgwick and Sheila Kelley.

    "Dog Gone Love"
    Just a bit of cleavage by Lindsay Sloane in Dog Gone Love.

    Jessica Alba
    (1, 2)

    Ahhhh Alba. Here are a couple of excellent promotional stills featuring Alba in her "Sin City" leather.

    Sophie Marceau Thanks to Squiddy for this second, bigger and better look at Marceau's recent red carpet oops at Cannes.

    Hilary Duff A great collage by Gman featuring some recent paparazzi pics of the teen star surfing in a bikini.

    Renée Humphrey
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    She's probably best known for her small role in Kevin Smith's Askewniverse as Tricia Jones from "Mallrats". Here she is showing just a bit of underwater toplessness in scenes from "The Sex Monster" (1999). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    A quick site note
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    If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!