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Tuna
"The River Wild" (1994)

The River Wild (1994) is a thriller with a rather thin and predictable plot that is raised several notches by an excellent cast, beautiful locations, and amazing work by DP Robert Elswit. The film stars Meryl Streep (I said excellent cast) as a mother and former river guide who is taking her 10-year-old son on a White-water trip for his birthday. Her husband (David Strathairn), as usual, begs off at the last minute claiming work problems. As Streep and her son get ready to push off, they meet three men who will also be rafting at the same time. At the last moment, Strathaim shows up for the trip. There is much talk of "The Gauntlet" at the far end of the river, which has been the death of many rafters, and is now off-limits. Streep, of course, successfully ran the gauntlet in her youth.

The other three men are the bad guys, having committed a robbery. You can predict the rest of the plot easily. Streep is completely believable as mother, wife concerned about the marriage, and rafting expert.. She fleshes out the character with humor, spirit, drive and devotion. She received a Golden Globe nomination as Best Actress for this part. There was a nude bathing scene at night, but the longshots could have been anyone from what you can see, and the close-ups don't show much more than head and shoulders. There may be a nipple visible under water in image 4. There are several very nice pokies, however.

The bad guys are played to perfection by Kevin Bacon and John C. Reilly (the third man dies early in the film). Maltin and Berardinelli say 3 stars. Ebert found fault, saying that it was a Deliverance clone, and that clones only work when you get the details perfect. In his first example of a problem, he got an important detail way wrong, which leads me to believe that old Roger awarded his two stars based on fast-forwarding through much of the film. I will give this a B-. Even though the plot is predictable, and the pace is occasionally slow, the fine performances and great photography make it worth the watch.

  • Thumbnails

  • Meryl Streep (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "The Drifter" (1988)

    The Drifter (1988) is a third rate thriller staring Kim Delaney as a successful women's fashion designer with an attorney boyfriend who picks up hitch-hiker Miles O'Keeffe on her way home from a business trip, and ends up sleeping with him. She wanted a one-night stand, and he wants more. She begins to panic when he finds her home and her work, and wants to keep seeing her. If I go any further with the plot, it would be a spoiler. The good news is that there are plot twists. The bad news is that the story line is so muddled, they won't surprise you. As a matter of fact, you won't even care.

    The good news is that Kim shows her breasts in a dark motel scene with O"keefe, and in a well lit bed scene with her boyfriend. Maltin gives the watchable but nothing special 2 1/2 stars, while IMDB readers trash it at 4.4/10. I give it a C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Kim Delaney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

     Here's some near-miss non-nudity from Heartbreakers. Sigourney looks incredible for her age, or for any age. Not worth a collage until we have the DVD, but here are some prime frames.

    • Sigourney Weaver (1, 2, 3)

    Here's some indirect nudity from Lost Son (Not much. A picture of a topless woman)

    Graphic Response
  • Lisa Bonet, Classic nudity from 1987's "Angel Heart".

  • Sondra Locke, bare bum and breast exposure from the Clint Eastwood movie, "The Outlaw Josey Wales" (1976).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

  • RDO
    A nice little batch of actresses all playing the challenging role of "naked corpse" in various scenes from the Charlie Sheen movie, "Postmortem" (1998). Every image has breast exposure, and a few also show some pubes. (Susie Lee link #2, Erin Mooney link #4, Cherenay Strand link #2, and Hazel Ann Crawford link #2).

  • Susie Lee (1, 2)
  • Lisa Earl
  • Carol Findlay
  • Erin Mooney (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Cherenay Strand (1, 2)
  • Hazel Ann Crawford (1, 2)

  • Scorpion's Skinemax
    Leslie Harter Breast exposure, plus a bit of bush too in these simulated sex scenes from "Damien's Seed"

    Mia Zottoli All three B's are clearly visible in "Carnal Desires" (1999).

    Michelle Hall Boobs, bum, and phony sex from "On the Other Side".

    Nancy O'Neil
    (1, 2)

    More 'caps of fake sex from "On the Other Side". Only 2 out of 3 B's this time (breasts and bush only).

    Regina Russell Breasts, a hint of pubes, and fake sex from "Alien Erotica 2".

    Samantha Phillips I've said it before, and I'll say it again...Bring back "Hot Springs Hotel"!. Here's Sam gettin' it on and showing off her robo-hooters and her bum in "On the Other Side".

    Shauna O'Brien and Leslie Olivan Shauna going topless before the install of the new parts. Leslie makes out with Shauna for a bit and then shows full frontal nudity in a 3-way sex scene from "Damien's Seed".

    Susan Lasage and Amber Newman A lot of skin in this lesbo scene from "Alien Erotica 2". As for the goodies, only breasts can be seen.

    Unknown A mystery babe with big boobs, and a bare bum in a sex scene from "Alien Erotica 2".

    DeVo
    Some folks may remember the controversial French film called "Baise-Moi". Which translates into either "Rape Me" or "Fuck Me". We first mentioned this story back in July. Since then, we really haven't heard much about it, but at least we do have some vidcaps for you.

    To refresh your memories... The story apparently is about a couple of hyper sexual women who go on a sex and killing spree. Sometimes both, sometimes just one or the other. It features hardcore sex and brutal violence. Apparently there are a lot of people killed, and the sex is not only real, but basically shot like porno.

    According to the IMBb, if you live in LA or New York, you might be able to find it at the theater this summer. The release dates are June 1 for LA, July 6 for NYC.

    Thanks to DeVo for these hardcore 'caps.

  • RaffaŽla Anderson (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Karen Lancaume (aka Karen Bach) (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown blonde
  • Unknown older woman

  • Spaz
    Linda Smith
    (1, 2)

    Linda displays her breasts in "The Beastmaster" (link #1) starring Marc Singer and Tanya Roberts and also in "Little White Lies" (link #2).

    Cynthia Dale

    Laura Henry

    Sugar Bouche

    A decade before "Showgirls", Canada had a stinker of a movie called "Heavenly Bodies" with a high t&a factor but with very little nudity. It almost derailed Cynthia Dale's acting career.

    Cynthia shows a nearly full, side breast view. Laura shows some partial breast exposure while gettin' it on, and Sugar (a real professional stripper) does a topless striptease.

    Lori Hallier

    "Higher Education" (1987) is another bad, and sophomoric comedy. Lori plays a Mrs. Robinson-type teacher who seduces a male student. In this dark love scene, once your eyes get adjusted, you can see her nipples.

    Unknown

    From the movie "Midnight Matinee" (1988). This uncredited actress plays a murder victim in the takeoff of the famous Kevin Bacon love/murder scene in "Friday the 13th". Can anyone identify her? Breasts and bum views.

    Heather Hanson

    From "Profile for Murder" (1997). Heather plays Lance Henriksen's fourth and final conquest in the Joan Severance pseudo-thriller. Breasts while skinny dipping in pool, then a butt shot.

    and ...
    Meg Ryan Rare Meg nudity from "The Presidio" (1988). A little on the dark side, but it is clear side breast exposure.

    Alexandra Neldel

    Idil ‹ner

    Excellent vidcaps by Primal for the Euro Scoopy fans. Scenes from "Verliebte Jungs".

    Alexandra shows us some very nice breasts, plus a hint of bush. Idil also is topless, but her breasts are partially covered with a nice soapy lather.

    Annabella Sciorra
    (1, 2)

    In bed and looking pretty sexy on "The Sopranos". Vidcaps by DeafBeer.

    Updates from Celebrity Sleuth
    A few comments from recent Fun Houses:

  • Definitely NOT Jennifer Jason Leigh...while breast size often changes, nipple shape doesn't {The Tao of Sleuth, Item 5}. JJL has what we call "button nipples"--as does Madonna--i.e., basically two little dots in the center of a sphere {stop me if I get too clinical here}. The woman in the paparazzi pix is not only much older and haggard-looking than Jen, but has much bigger areolae {see JJL's Single White Female and other entries in the Encyc}. So, like ears, that is a dead giveaway that it's not her.

  • Bambou, who is shown in the 5/11 FH, was the longtime lover {including at the time of his death} of French drunk Sergei Gainsbourg. As such, throughout the late 80s and early 90s, she was essentially the stepmom to Charlotte. Bambou, whose real name is Caroline Von Paulus, is part Vietnamese and the granddaughter of the famed General Von Paulus.

  • In the 5/9 FH, the first link identified as "Pandora Peaks" is actually Alexis Love {who is really famed 1960-70s busty model Joyce Gibson aka Joyce Mandel}. I know her, and she's nuts...but does have large, natural hooters.

  • I was about to write you to ask about Megan {X-Files} Leitch's topless scene in "Dead Man's Gun: The Highwayman" {1998; Showtime}--since a longtime reader had requested it--when you ran it in the FH. Can you ask whoever scanned that to try to get more of her topless...the scene gets 3 Stars in The Bare Facts, so it must go on for some time, yet there was only one topless frame of her in the collage. Can they get more and better?

  • And a final request from the Scoopettes: A "fading actress" named Jennifer whose career highlight was in Dirty Dancing {no, not Grey!} was shot to death last Thursday in her apt. right above NYC's famed Carnegie Deli {if you've ever had one of their sandwiches--piled about a foot high--you might suspect that as the Cause of Death}. Anyway, her name was Jennifer Stahl, and she'd apparently become a fairly big-time drug dealer to supplement her acting career. Besides Dirty Dancing, her roles included Necropolis {fittingly} and 1987's Firehouse--where she plays a topless dancer who flashes her breasts in a club 25 minutes into the flick. Can you ask your cap wizards if they can get her topless scene from Firehouse and post in the FH. The film is described as "a softcore frolic" and the cast includes an actress {one year before Mystic Pizza} by the name of "Julia Roberts". It would be worth locating just to see if it's the same one! I'd like to include Jennifer Stahl and the unsolved mystery of her shooting in my upcoming "NudesWorthy" issue, so I'd love it if someone could find her nudes at their earliest possible convenience. Thanks.

  • On an unrelated front, Mike Walker of the National Enquirer called me about the supposed Jennifer Lopez porno tape last Thursday {gosh, guess that makes me a "recognized expert"}. I told him what I strongly suspected: That Suge Knight would have a death wish if he ever sold such a tape--it would ignite the worst East Coast-West Coast rap war since Ol' Dirty Bastard called himself The Baby Jesus! There is a guy on the East Coast who runs Make It or Break It Videos who has it in for Puff Daddy, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if he started the rumor just for publicity. He once tried to sell yours truly on the idea of a Lil' Kim porn video--gosh, Kim sure doesn't seem like that kind of a girl !--which turned out to be bogus. So I would have taken the rumor with many mouthfuls of salt. Besides, how many hand-held home video cameras, especially in the early 90s, had a sufficient WIDE-ANGLE LENS to accommodate Butt Girl's chassis?

    -Sleuth


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