Commandments (1997) is not an easy film to characterize. It is part black comedy, part investigation of fundamental theological questions, and part romantic comedy. Seth (Aidan Quinn) has lost his pregnant wife (Joanna Going), his house, and his job. He is standing on a rooftop threatening suicide and alternately begging God for reasons. God responds by striking him with a lightening bolt, and, at the same time, injuring his dog. He resolves to break each of the Ten Commandments, one by one, until God comes clean with some answers.
His sister in law (Courteney Cox) moves him in, much to the dismay of her philandering reporter husband (Anthony LaPaglia), who cares more about his collection of vintage guitars than his wife. Quinn starts with simple commandments, but LaPaglia goads him into working against LaPaglia for the more serious ones. Naturally, Cox and Quinn fall in love. So much for the seventh commandment. The film ends on a very biblical note (think Jonah), but I am not sure answers any of the questions it almost asks.
Going shows her right nipple putting on a bathing suite in the beginning of the film, and Cox shows most of her left breast is a dark sex scene. IMDb readers have this at 5.4. The acting is fine, the cinematography is a treat, and there are moments of humor. In the end, I felt like there could have been any of several good films buried in the plot line, but it didn't quite excel at any of them. IT is unique, which is a good thing in and of itself, and has many moments, making it a C-.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Here is a (zipped .wmv) film clip of Alison Pill's topless scene
in Dear Wendy.
The Rise and Fall of Heidi Fleiss
This is the biography of the famous Hollywood Madam. It's really
more of a docudrama than a story, except that the typical docudrama
would be more reliable. This is like a gossip column version of a
docudrama. Remember those classic old-time Hollywood pieces which
began "which big-time Hollywood producer was seen in the clinches
with the gorgeous 18 year old blonde who stars in his new movie"?
Those stories always left you guessing about who the hell they were
talking about, and many people believed that they often weren't
talking about anyone, that some of the stories were entirely
fabricated to provide filler on days when there was no worthwhile
gossip to print. This movie is like that. Heidi has sex with
characters named "rock star" and "Steve the producer".
Oh well, it aired on the USA Network, so if you were expecting
anything better, you need to realign your expectations. I wasn't
surprised by the poor quality of the movie, but I was disappointed
by the obvious substitution of body doubles for some nude scenes. In
addition to being a perfunctory and shallow biopic, Call Me is a
rip-off in terms of presentation. I suppose people will watch it and
buy the DVD in order to see Meadow Soprano's nude scenes. The
character does have several moments of exposed flesh, but it is
obviously not Jamie-Lynn Sigler's flesh, except for one brief,
blurry nipple seen as the camera pans hastily from her waist to her
face. In all other cases, the Fleiss Flesh was provided by a body
double. What distinguishes this from any other use of body doubles
is the sheer audacious sleaziness of it. There are three cases where
the body double's face is clearly visible - and in two of the cases
it looks nothing like Sigler! In the third case, it is a very dark
sex scene, and the face could be just about anyone in Hollywood,
except maybe Paulie Sorvino.
In addition to the contributions of the Sigler body double, there
was some miscellaneous nudity provided by other characters like a
blonde call girl and a topless sunbather at a pool party. The most
notable exposure came from Emmanuelle Vaugier.
Although the female nudity is unimpressive even in the unrated
DVD, the unexpurgated presentation does provide some full frontal
MALE nudity in the sex scene between "rock star" and Fleiss.
- Jamie-Lynn Sigler (not nude) (1,
- Sigler film clip (very brief exposure)
- Sigler body double (1,
- Emmanuelle Vaugier (1,
8) Vaugier is the brunette who is always on
Corbin Bersen's left shoulder. (To Bernsen's right as we look at
them). The blonde is not identified. The other brunette, who shows
nothing, is Sigler.
World Police (2005)
As always, Parker and Stone amuse and shock with their
provocative comedy and music.
The only significant change in the "unrated version" of the movie
is in the puppet sex scene. In order to get their R rating the boys
had to cut out two sex vignettes - one in which the male puppet
gives the female a golden shower, another in which the female puppet
takes a graphically portrayed shit on the male's face!!
There are a few other deleted scenes on the DVD, but no
commentary by Parker/Stone, and the extra features are mostly about
special effects - how the puppet world was brought to life.
- Puppet sex captures (1,
- Film clip: the deleted portion of the sex scene!
- Film clip: puppet Sean Penn talks about what he saw in Iraq
before America screwed it up.
John Cleese is writing the next feature film for Aardman
Animations, the makers of Wallace and Gromit
Firefox growth rate slips again
- This site is both sad and strangely erotic ...
FormerGirlfriends.com - Former Girlfriends - Show the world what
you had!. It's filled with amateurish pics of nekkid
women, ranging from fugly to gorgeous.
- Your kids want a pet, but you live in an apartment? Consider
Mr. Marbles, the dead cat. (If you go to their home
page, they have various other kooky props.)
Buy the Philosopher's Stone on eBay, create Gold at home in your
spare time. Get out your $250,000, because this offer
won't last. And it must be true because the ad specifically says
"not a scam". What's more, by buying it you are doing your part
for humanity, because "part of the revenue from this sale will go
for future design of the heaven recreation machines and time
travel industry development."
Former NBA player Ralph Sampson was arrested Friday in Atlanta on
two felony counts of failing to pay court-ordered child support
The last voyage of the 'Enterprise'. The 'Enterprise'
Series goes off the air Friday, leaving no TV 'Treks' for the
first time in 18 years.
Napoleon Dynamite team reunites for Sasquatch. Sweet!
"I'm frickin' mythological, whadya think?"
- We've discussed it before, now read about it from the horse's
... er ... mouth -
The Original Whizzinator! Please, I beg of you, do not
be fooled by cheap Whizzinator knock-offs.
Irish fisherman hooks mind-blowing catch
Woman sells her cherry on eBay
How to Brew Beer in a Coffee Pot
- One of the stranger concepts for a pay site:
Geek Fantasies: "Have you ever fantasized about a room
full of sexy college coeds sweating over a match of
Strip-Counterstrike; or perhaps you long to see young, bikini-clad
sweethearts slaving away with soldering irons, installing mod-cps
in their home consoles?"
Weekly World News: "HUBBY DIES AFTER SEEING FAT WIFE IN THONG
Katie Holmes looks set to replace Jude Law's girlfriend Sienna
Miller in the lead role as Edie Sedgwick in a new movie called
- I'm not sure of Katie's acting range, to tell you the truth,
but if she has the chops, she actually resembles what Edie was
like before she entered the high life.
- I haven't read the script, but Sedgwick's life has all the
elements to make a great movie, not just about a person, but
about an era - innocence corrupted - the zeitgeist of 60s New
York - Warhol and Dylan - times a-changin' - big-time rock stars
- big-time art world - mental illness - tragedy. If done right,
it could be an edgier version of Almost Famous.
- Director Hickenlooper hasn't had a commercial success, but
he has talent, and this seems to be his kind of material, so
this project is one that might have some potential.
Letterman's "Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Vladimir Putin's Mind
While Bush Drove"
Survey USA releases their latest approval polls for all 50
- The link gives the complete list, sorted two different ways.
Fascinating stuff. The least popular governor in the usa, by a
wide margin, is Ohio governor Bob Taft with a 19% approval
rating. (Just a hair below the approval rating for Charles
Manson). The top spot is a virtual tie between the two governors
of the Dakotas.
Russian Girl Running For Class President makes her election speech
nekkid. Hey, she heard it was for the presidency of the
student BODY. Hmm ... I doubt if that double entendre works in
Pope John Paul II to be beatified. "Pope Benny Hex has
begun the process to beatify his predecessor John Paul II, the
first step to sainthood."
retroCRUSH picks the world's ugliest DVD covers.
- Today's edition of "News That Sucks" -
Peter O'Toole and Samantha Morton have signed up to appear in a
new Lassie film. From the looks of this picture of
O'Toole, they better have a short filming schedule.
What is the source of the legend of Friday the 13th?
Shrimpy white Canadian guy named NBA MVP
- I felt it was a close call, just as the voters did. Both
players were gracious about the result. Nash said he would have
voted for Shaq.
- The Lakers dropped 22 games behind last year, while Miami
improved by 17, so Shaq's value seemed to be clearly established
at about 20 games.
- The Suns did improve by 33 games, but the Suns also added
Quentin Richardson, so Nash's value is not as easy to determine.
In addition, the Mavs also improved by 6 when they lost Nash!
Still, it is difficult to ignore the new point guard for a team
that improves by 33 games!
- ... only in the NBA can a 6'3'' guy be called "shrimpy"
- The gallery of really poor
Star Wars Knock-Offs
- Funny parody:
Star Wars: Lost Hope
Britney Hit with Copyright Lawsuit
Cameron Diaz says current Enquirer story is a bunch of malarkey.
The Tabloid says she was "caught cheating," but there doesn't seem
to be any basis for the story.
The Daily Show's Bob Wiltfong reveals how sexy cheerleading is
destroying our youth.
Fans Pay $500 to See Latest 'Star Wars' Flick
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Look's like we have a pretty clear winner in our recent "Most Overrated Movie" poll. I have the official winners and commetary posted in the next day or two.
In the meantime...Email Scoopy Jr. if suggestions for future polls.
Here are the results of our previous polls:
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance
The Top 20 Best Straight Sex Scenes
Best Lesbian Love Scenes
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Another batch of assorted video clips from the Ghost today. Zipped .wms as usual.
- Alex Meneses, the former model turned actress topless in a love scene from an episode of the late night cable series, "Hot Line""
- Brandy Ledford topless and gettin' it on in scenes from "Zebra Lounge" (2001), starring Stephen Baldwin and Kristy Swanson. Some folks know Brandy best as a fomer Pet (May '90 and for the year of '92).
- Linda Gucciardo baring all while doing the deed in scenes from the "Finders Keepers" episode of the Skinemax series "Erotic Confessions"
- Here is former "West Wing" co-star Moira Kelly topless in two scenes from the 1993 flick "Daybreak"
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Jill the Ripper" (2000)
Thriller about bondage starring Dolph Lundgren.
"The Lost Angel" (2004)
Thriller starring Clint's daughter.
"Dead Innocent" (1996) aka Eye
Thriller directed by Sara Botsford.
Drama about as dumb as it can get.
Show Me Yours II: episode Best Foot Forward
||Hot off the presses! Here is the French babe falling out of her dress while on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday!
||Showing some very lovely toplessness in scenes from the new film from Thomas Vinterberg and Lars von Trier, "Dear Wendy".
|Not yet of video....the Skin-man takes a look at Stone going topless in scenes from "A Different Loyalty".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
"STAR WARS" PARADE COMING TO PARIS
Don't Expect America To Save You Again - Friday, the premiere of "The
Revenge of the Sith" will be marked in Paris with a three-day "Star Wars"
convention, including a costume parade through Paris featuring hundreds of
Darth Vaders and Imperial Storm Troopers.
Jacques Chirac will come out to personally surrender to them.
Storm troopers marching through Paris! History repeats itself!
It's the most romantic city on Earth, so what else would a bunch of
"Star Wars" fans do there?
$240,000 FOR A USED VW IS NOT ENOUGH
It Has A Freakin' Moon Roof!! - The German man who got $240,000 (US) for
his 1999 VW Golf that once belonged to the new Pope is suing eBay because
that's not enough. He claims there were people who wanted to bid more in
the closing hours, but the listing attracted so many hits that they were
unable to log onto eBay and register. So he had to settle for just
$240,000 for a car he'd paid $11,000 for.
And after he pays his lawyers, he'll have...$10,000.
The Pope would say that he needs to confess his sin of greed.
Maybe he can get the buyer to toss in another $100,000 for the
|A quick site note
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